Kathleen A. Custer

Kay was born on January 14, 1935, in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, where she grew up in the Catholic faith, with the foods and traditions of Pennsylvania Dutch country, and the German ethos of hard work and stoic self-sufficiency. She spent her early adult life in Pennsylvania, where she graduated from St. Joseph’s Nursing School in Pittsburg. She met and married her husband, Robert “Bob” G. Custer in her hometown of Johnstown.

As an Army wife, Kay lived in many different cities in the United States as well as international cities in Germany and Holland. She settled in Sterling, Virginia when her husband retired from the military. There she built a home centered on family, extravagant holiday celebrations, conversations around the dinner table, her nursing career, and the hobbies she loved.

Kay was preceded in death by her parents, Henry and Catherine Bumbernick of Johnstown, her husband, Lt. Col. Robert G. Custer, U.S. Army (Ret.); her son, Donnie Custer, who passed away in infancy; her brother, Don (Dee) Bumbernick; and her son-in-law, Ray Jackson.

Finding joy in simple, meaningful pursuits and family traditions, Kay loved the creative outlet of sewing and crafts. She would toil for days to be sure dresses and outfits were finished on time for Easter, Christmas, proms, and homecomings. On those occasions, Butterick patterns were spread out across the floor as she worked through the night. In the mornings, she could often be found at the kitchen table trying to wake up over a cup of Folgers diluted with milk. Her coffee was famously weak, but her will was strong.

She hated Halloween, and no one really knew why — but Christmas was a season she embraced wholeheartedly. She was known for preparing a turkey that slow-roasted overnight, making stuffing and green Jello, and baking a wide assortment of Christmas cookies, including gobs and chocolate chip cookies. The cookies were stored in a familiar round Tupperware container in the freezer, and everyone knew exactly where to find them to steal a treat. At Christmas time, the lights of a tiny magical village glowed under the tree. Each year, the snow-bound train tracks encircled her latest addition – a schoolhouse, a church, or even an ice-skating rink complete with festive skaters. Colorful presents stretched to all four corners of the room, reflecting her generous spirit and her joy in creating a sense of wonder and abundance for her family.

Kay enjoyed playing cards, especially bridge, with her neighbors, and in quieter moments could often be found playing solitaire. A lifelong reader, she especially enjoyed novels by Mary Higgins Clark. She also loved watching television, including game shows such as Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, programs on the Hallmark Channel, a wide range of police and hospital dramas, and reruns of Murder, She Wrote.

She is survived by her children: Cathy, Karen, Debra, Laura, Beth (Matt), Rob, and Linda (James); her grandchildren: Sean (Andrea), Andrew (Christine), Ashley (Ryan), Jaime, Grace, Marni, Haley, Aiden, Jordan, Brett, Allie, Joshua, Alex, and Ashlyn; and her great-grandchildren: Cimorene, Trinity, Wyatt, Ava, and Luna, as well as extended family and loved ones.

A funeral service and interment will be held at Arlington National Cemetery on February 24th, 2026, at 3 p.m., where Kay will be laid to rest beside her husband. All attendees must present a valid Real ID or other federally accepted identification to enter the cemetery.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the ASPCA or St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.