Born June 17, 1969, in Fairfax, Virginia, Peter John Carfley, 52, of Camp Hill, Pennsylvania passed away at home on September 22, 2021 encircled by his family after a valiant battle with pancreatic cancer. Devoted husband to Lindsay (Strathmeyer) Carfley and father to Michael, age 4. Adored son of John and Ruth Ann Carfley. Beloved big brother to Stephanie and David. Spirited uncle to Cash and Tabyn. Cherished member of the extended Strathmeyer family. Loyal teammate and friend. Inspirational coach and mentor. Our Captain. These are just a few of the ways to describe Pete.
Pete was an attorney by profession, having received his law degree from the University of Pittsburgh School of Law in 1999. He practiced law for over 20 years, splitting that time between Philipsburg and Harrisburg. Being a lawyer is not what defined him though. Rather, Pete’s first loves, until his true love, Lindsay and then Michael came along, were his hometown of State College and Penn State University, from where he graduated high school in 1987 and college in 1993. At the ripe old age of 4, Pete asked for season tickets to Penn State football for his birthday and the rest, as they say, is history. Pete rarely, if ever, missed a home game until Michael’s birth, unabashedly telling friends over the years that if they wanted him to attend their wedding, they would need to select a day other than a home football Saturday. In addition to home games, Pete and his band of merry men (plus his sister, Steph, who he included in all of his adventures) followed Penn State on the road, traveling to away games against the likes of Pitt, Wisconsin, Alabama, Nebraska, Notre Dame, Ohio State and many more. Pete also attended numerous PSU bowl games with his friends and family, including the 1986 Fiesta Bowl, the 1994 Rose Bowl and the 2016 Big Ten Championship game. Beyond just attending Penn State football games and other PSU sporting events as a diehard fan though, Pete was an accomplished athlete in his own right. He was the kicker on the State High football team, catcher for the State High and State College American Legion baseball teams and was also a member of the Penn State baseball team for several seasons. After finishing his playing career, Pete devoted his time and talent to coaching the Legion team with his father and brother Dave, ultimately being inducted into the Pennsylvania American Legion Sports Hall of Fame. In all, Pete amassed hundreds of wins in his 15 year coaching career, including a state championship in 2001 and a final four finish in the American Legion World Series in 1998. Beyond the wins and losses though, Pete’s true legacy and influence is found in the hundreds of players who he coached and mentored and whose lives he touched. More family than friends, his former players now have children of their own who have been instilled with Pete’s love of the game and the lessons he taught them when they were players.
There is no doubt that Pete met the love of his life in Lindsay. They were married in 2015 in a PSU tailgate-themed wedding and reception that people still speak of to this day as one of the best weddings they ever attended. In 2017, they were blessed with the birth of Michael. One pound one ounce at the time of his birth, Michael was and is the very definition of indomitable. And in Michael, Pete found his true passion and calling as a father. To watch Pete and Michael together was to see unequivocal love on display. Michael’s unbending determination and undaunted spirit carried over to Pete and Lindsay as they fought Pete’s illness with everything they had, never complaining, never wavering, never ever giving up. As Pete’s disease progressed, they only grew stronger as a unit, focusing on living life and making moments and days that were worth remembering. As Pete would often quote from his all-time favorite movie The Shawshank Redemption, it was time to “get busy livin’ or get busy dying.” And get busy living is what they did.
In a long line of incredible gifts, perhaps Pete’s greatest gift was his ability to bring people together from all different aspects of his life, making them all one big family and including everyone in on the fun. Truly, there was no such thing as a “stranger” to Pete. His impish smile, quick wit, gift for storytelling and near encyclopedic knowledge of all things related to sports, music and pop culture not only made him the life of every party, it made everyone instantly feel welcome, like they had known him for years. And if you were lucky enough to have been someone who Pete called a friend, your life was the better for it and you never forgot it. Nowhere was that more on display than in his final days when Pete, already under hospice care, willed one more trip to “Happy Valley” and Beaver Stadium to attend the Penn State vs. Auburn game on September 18th with his closest friends and family rallying to help make it happen. With his loved ones by his side and a rainbow that seemingly ended right at our tailgate, well over 200 friends and supporters (including PSU football greats Michael Mauti and Jordan Hill) greeted Pete with laughter, love and fond memories and stories from grade school to the present. As one close friend poignantly described it “We cried. We laughed. We drank. We did all three again.” For his part, Pete never stopped smiling the entire day. As kickoff drew near, Pete’s entourage led by Lindsay rolled his wheelchair into the stadium for one last time. It was truly an unforgettable “White Out” moment that will be indelibly etched in our minds with the sun setting over the valley, fireworks lighting the sky, the Blue Band playing “Hail to the Lion” and nearly 110,000 screaming fans all dressed in white. And Pete saw it all. In storybook fashion, Penn State won. So did Pete, our very own “Iron Lion,” as he was able, through sheer determination, to do what he loved most with the people he loved most, and who love him, that one final time.
For the family and friends left behind, the world is a far duller place without Pete in it. As he exhorted, if not outright directed, his beloved “409 tailgate crew” to do at that final tailgate, we will “keep it rolling” in honor of Our Captain, but the party will never be the same without him. Thanks for the memories, Pete.
#TeamPete. Now and Always.
A celebration of Pete's life will be held on Saturday, October 30th from 3-7 pm at the Wyndham Garden and Mountain View in Boalsburg, PA. Please visit www.Team-Pete.com to RSVP and get more details, including how you can best support Pete’s family. We hope that as many of you as possible will be able to join us so we can laugh, cry, remember, and raise a glass “To Pete.”
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