Toby (Gefter) Friedman

Daughter of the late Ruth (Miller) and Saul Gefter. Adoring and adored wife to the man of her dreams, the late Eugene Friedman. Beloved mother of Mark Friedman and his wife Amy of Raleigh, NC and Karen Friedman-Hanna and her husband Bill Hanna of Milton MA. Cherished grandmother of Julia Hanna and her husband Tim Glick; Adam Hanna and his wife Kaily; Michael and Camryn Friedman. Sister of Jean Schneider and her husband Alvin (both deceased), Barbara Miller and her husband Bob, and Edward Gefter and his wife Frida (deceased). Sister-in-law to Beatrice and Gene Weinstein (deceased) and Cynthia and Lenny Schwartz (both deceased). Loving aunt, cousin and cherished friend to so many more.

Toby was born in Brooklyn, NY on August 24, 1931. She was a proud graduate of James Madison High School and eagerly shared that she was just a year off from the great Ruth Bader Ginsberg as well as several other notable graduates including Bernie Sanders. Toby worked at the Empire State Building right out of High School but achieved a degree from Pace University after her children were grown to become a highly respected social worker with the Department of Social Services, County of Westchester, NY, a profession and job that she absolutely loved.

She met her husband Gene, the love of her life, on a blind date set up by mutual friends. They fell in love almost immediately and had a wonderful romance throughout their 46 years of marriage, until Gene's untimely passing in 1999. They loved to travel the world together and met new friends who became lifelong ones everywhere they went. Toby continued to travel after that, visiting Alaska, Israel, Europe, etc. along with doting on her family and friends, and nurturing relationships with everyone she met.

She was an avid reader of mystery novels, owning hundreds of hardcover books in her personal library. Shopping at her favorite stores, Lord & Taylor's and Macy's and lavishing her family with gifts and continuous delicious food remained constants throughout her life as well. She was always incredibly devoted to her children and worked as a public-school librarian at P.S. 29 in Yonkers, NY while they were in grade school, insisting on having a job with their same schedule, allowing her to be both a respected professional and incredible full-time, fully committed mom. Summers off together allowed them to belong to their favorite pool and tennis club, Scarsdale Bath and Tennis where she often played up to 5 hours of tennis per day with her sister Barbara and other great friends, while allowing her kids to safely gain more independence, which they all truly loved! She was the ultimate cheerleader and biggest supporter of her children and grandchildren, instilling in them the confidence that they could accomplish anything they attempted. This extended to their friends and other family members as well, with her serving as surrogate parent to so many any time it was even remotely desired, providing them with her positive attitude, helping all to overcome any obstacle that may be faced.

Her beautiful home was always welcoming to all, with a full spread of food offered (pushed) whether it was at 8 a.m. or 2 a.m. Toby adored her grandchildren and established relationships with each of them that highlighted their individual likes and passions, from playing stoop ball together, going to baseball or football games, creating things, going to Broadway shows and concerts, eating out in delicious restaurants and always having their favorite treats available. Toby was a sweets aficionado. Her freezer was always full of either Carvel flying saucers and/or Dark Chocolate Dove bars, along with cupboards full of every other treat one might crave. Life savers and tissues were readily available as was her credit card which she whipped out with lightning speed.

She was the best wife, mother, grandmother, friend, advocate, and ultimate positive thinker. She changed the lives of so many for the better, and was a force to be reckoned with in all ways. This incredibly sweet, kind, generous, funny, smart, sassy, stunning "gutter mouth granny" will be so missed, always cherished, and never duplicated. Consensus from all who knew her is that no matter how long she lived, it would never have been enough.

Relatives and friends are invited to attend a Funeral service on Friday, July 7, 2023 at 10 a.m. at Stanetsky Memorial Chapel, 475 Washington Street, Canton MA. For those unable to attend in person, the service will be livestreamed at https://tinyurl.com/Toby-Friedman.

Burial service will take place on Sunday, July 9, 2023 at 2:00 p.m. at Sharon Gardens Cemetery, Garden of Rebecca, Division of Kensico Cemetery, 273 Lakeview Avenue, Valhalla, NY. An informal gathering at a nearby restaurant will take place afterward. Details to be provided upon the conclusion of the service.

An informal gathering of friends and family will occur after the chapel service this Friday from approximately 11:30 until 4:00 p.m. at Karen and Bill's home in Milton, MA. Please feel free to stop by during those times. Shiva will be held on Monday, July 10th beginning at 6 p.m., until approximately 8:30 p.m. also at Karen and Bill’s home in Milton, MA.

In lieu of flowers, donations in Toby Friedman's name may be made to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital; www.stjude.org or by mail to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, 501 St. Jude Place, Memphis, TN 38105. By mail, please reference memorial account number 23530074; alternatively, to Congregation Beth Shalom of the Blue Hills, 18 Shoolman Way, Milton, MA 02186; www.bethshalombluehills.org.