Phyllis Murray McDowell

Phyllis Murray McDowell, mental health visionary, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, athlete, ballroom dancer, active listener and deep conversationalist, died on September 12, 2025 at her home in Chester, Connecticut. She was 99 years old.

Phyllis was born on July 1, 1926, in New York City to Arthur and Kathryn Murray, founders of the Arthur Murray dance studios. She and her identical twin sister, Jane, spent their early years in Harrison and Rye, New York. Phyllis and Jane attended the Shipley School and Vassar College, graduating from Sarah Lawrence College in 1948. A brief stint at Beverly Hills High School yielded many stories of brushes with Hollywood celebrities that Phyllis loved to recall.

At Sarah Lawrence, Phyllis found her calling while studying psychology and was accepted into graduate school at the University of Chicago. Typical of that era, she chose marriage over continuing her education, but would eventually return to the field of mental health. She settled in the New Haven area with her husband, educator Edward I. “Ted” McDowell, Jr., also from Rye and a recent Yale graduate. She loved raising her four daughters and embraced the life of a stay-at-home mother in the suburbs of New Haven, a welcome change from her glamorous but peripatetic upbringing.

What started as a volunteer position through the Junior League eventually led to her founding Fellowship Club for people whose mental health issues placed them on the fringes of society. Phyllis had the vision to create opportunities for this population which was a unique concept in the 1960s. More than sixty years later, the organization, now known as Fellowship Place, remains a vital resource for the New Haven community. In 2008 it was a proud moment when Phyllis’ family joined her for the dedication of the “Phyllis McDowell House” at Fellowship’s Elm Street campus.

Motivated by kindness and compassion, Phyllis devoted her life to serving the New Haven community. She was a fellow of Jonathan Edwards College at Yale, and a member of the New Haven Lawn Club. The New Haven Garden Club, to which she also belonged, recognized her dedication to environmental stewardship by establishing a conservation award in her honor. Her commitment to this cause was unwavering and — as with so many other areas of her life — she led the way with energy and enthusiasm, which included being an early advocate of composting and natural gardening.

Phyllis was an accomplished tennis and paddle tennis player and the family’s beloved house in Fenwick, Connecticut is full of the many trophies she won over the years. She inherited her love of ballroom dancing from her parents and danced well into her 90s.

She was engaging, egalitarian, and non-judgmental, which created a wide circle of diverse and valued friendships. Her family and friends will miss her cheerfulness, sense of humor, ability to connect in conversation with people of all ages, and her love of a good song.

She is survived by her four daughters, Kathryn P. Magown, Martha M. McDowell, Meg A. Smith, and Patience P. (Duby) McDowell, her sons-in-law Bruce F. Magown, O. Whitman Smith, and Joshua I. Wall, grandchildren Adair Goodyear, Victoria Binda, Lela Ilyinsky, Iain Magown, Andrew Magown, Patience (Mackey) Dubay, Grace Dubay, and five great-grandchildren.

Phyllis was able to remain in her home because of the wonderful care and valued friendship she received from Andrea Durrant, Betty Scott and Jane Syms.

In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation in her honor to Fellowship Place in New Haven, Connecticut. A Memorial Service will be held on Friday, October 10th at 11:00am at The First Congregational Church of Old Lyme, located on the corner of Lyme Street and Ferry Road (use 5 Ferry Road for GPS) in Old Lyme, Connecticut.