Patricia Gary Selby
September 12, 1928 – March 8, 2019
Patricia “Pat” Gary Selby of Charlotte passed away on the morning of Friday, March 8, 2019 at the age of 90. The daughter of Walker and Lola Gary of Charlotte, NC, Pat was born in Jacksonville, FL and moved to Greensboro, NC as an infant. While attending Central High School she worked as a Girl Scout counselor, travelling to Florida and Connecticut during the summer to work at the Girl Scout camps. While in high school, Pat developed a lifelong love of music and sports. She later played oboe in the Charlotte Symphony and helped build sets for The Charlotte Opera Guild, which was co-founded by her mother. Pat attended UNC-WC and went on to receive her master’s degree from East Carolina University. While at UNC-WC, Pat had a part time job and managed to save enough money to purchase her first outboard motor which she nicknamed “Cricket,” and carried it in a duffle bag on the train or bus every time she came home or went to the beach. Following her graduation from college, Pat moved to Bath, NC where she met her husband, Ben D. Selby. They were married in her parents’ home on Pawleys Island, SC and later moved to Charlotte where she began her career with Charlotte Mecklenburg Schools as a beginning band teacher. Pat raised her children surrounded by love and support, instilling her love of travel, animals and helping others. Anyone who needed a place to stay was welcome in her home. Pat was never one to accept society’s restrictions or being told she couldn’t do something. She loved a challenge, whether from someone else or herself. When she set a goal for herself, she did what was needed to succeed. As an active member of Dilworth United Methodist Church, Pat worked closely with the junior high United Methodist Youth Fellowship group, especially when her children were attending junior high school. Throughout the 60s and 70s she took the group on several trips including camping, the beach and to Washington DC, to name a few. Beginning in the 90s, she discovered the Senior Olympic Games and went on to medal in discus, shotput, standing long jump, fly fishing, football toss, softball, and basketball. Not only did she qualify on the local level, she went on to the state and national competitions for nearly 20 years. Pat enjoyed playing baritone in the Moravian Brass Band at several local Moravian churches as well as Laurel Ridge Moravian Camp and Salem College for 20 years. Travel was of great importance to Pat. She spent a large portion of her life dedicating herself to experiencing people and cultures around the globe. From cruising the rivers throughout Europe to lengthy excursions in Russia, China, Thailand and South Africa, Pat gained a wisdom about the world that gave her a unique understanding of others. She took each of her grandchildren on a European river cruise during their high school years to introduce them to travel and to instill the travel bug. Eventually Pat retired to Pawleys Island. She loved to be surrounded by friends and family and welcomed all to the house. She made every guest feel like they were family while there, whether sitting on the front porch watching the ocean or sitting on the back deck watching the sunset with a glass of wine, this was her happy place. She required nothing more than an ocean breeze, a book and a beverage to get through her day. Her enjoyment and support of sports was unwavering throughout the years. A faithful fan of both the Atlanta Braves and the Carolina Panthers, she watched every game and always kept up with the players, standings and playoff possibilities. No matter how good, or bad, their season, Pat was always a fan. She attended several Braves and Panthers games throughout the years. Pat is preceded in death by her husband, Benjamin Darden Selby, sister, Marian Gary O’Keefe of Severna Park, MD and son, Benjamin Darden Selby Jr of Charlotte. She is survived by her daughter Anna Selby of Indian Land, daughter in-law Michelle Warren-Selby, grandson Walker Selby, granddaughter Caroline Selby, all of Charlotte, NC; nieces Nancy O’Keefe Dunlap and Lisa O’Keefe of Galesville, MD, and cousins Martha and Anne Rokahr of Winston-Salem, NC. The family wishes to thank Shannon Lowery and Carol Doherty for their loving care of Pat. She enjoyed the company of both of these ladies and looked forward to having them with her during the day. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to Hospice, or Heifer International. Visitation will take place on Sunday, March 17th at 1pm at McEwen Funeral Home, 5716 Monroe Rd, Charlotte NC 28212 followed by a celebration of life at 2pm.
- Visitation Sunday, March 17, 2019
- Memorial Service Sunday, March 17, 2019
- Graveside Service Sunday, March 17, 2019
Patricia Gary Selby
March 17, 2019
So sorry for your Loss- My parents Pamela and Brian knew Pat from Senior Games and spent many weekends with her at the Beach in Pawleys Island!!! My parents were not well enough to attend her memorial but I know by their stories of the Great Times they shared with Pat Shelby!! Rest In Peace Pat!!!
March 17, 2019
Our fondest memories of Pat go back many, many years to that little white house on that dirt road in Bayview, NC, where the Selby clan would often get together on weekends. While all our aunts and uncles were there hooting and hollering, carousing and carrying on, Pat was the aunt that was always outside playing with us kids, taking us down to the river for a swim or some fishing, or running us around to get some candy. She was one of the most giving people we’ve ever known, always teaching us new things and encouraging us to try something different. She was born to teach and she never gave up her own desire to learn. Always inquisitive, always engaging, and always looking forward to her next adventure. We can’t imagine what it was like for her coming to a tiny town like Bath NC , as an intelligent, independent young lady to teach in such a small town. She shared her thoughts, opinions, and knowledge with all of us. She was always entertaining to talk to. We loved her very much and will miss her greatly.
Robin Cheslock (niece)
Chuck Jeffries (nephew)
March 13, 2019
Pat was the sweetest, kindest woman we have ever met! Our golden retriever Ruby loved her and always looked out for Pat when she was outside in the yard. To this day when Ruby is out front she looks for Pat. Of course, Pat was very generous with her treats for Ruby. Dorian and I loved to see Pat walk in the neighborhood because we knew she was prepping for one of her river cruises with dear Anna. She often joked with Dorian that he should take me on a river cruise because it was the best time ever!!! Hopefully one day her words with him will resonate!
Love and hugs to Anna and the family!
Monica, Dorian and Ruby xoxoxoxo