Toby T. Spitzer

Toby Thier Spitzer was a devoted wife, mom, grandmother, and friend. Born on January 8, 1930, she grew up in Scranton, PA, with an older sister, younger brother, and a beloved twin sister. Her interests included art, music, and writing creative stories and poetry. She was a gifted artist, a talented writer, and a beautiful singer.

Growing up during the Depression, Toby learned the true meaning of giving to others. While her family didn't have much, they shared what they had with those who were in much worse circumstances. She fondly remembered a father who encouraged her and made her laugh, and a mother who made sure the household ran smoothly regardless of the many challenges they faced.

After graduation, Toby started her civil service career working for the Army Corps of Engineers. She met her husband of 55 years, Lewis Frank Spitzer, and they married in 1959. Toby worked at the Social Security Administration for thirty years before retiring, and then worked part-time as a Federal Contractor for the SSA Office of Hearings for another ten years. Working in a world of changing technology was challenging, but Toby had great empathy for the struggles of others and always wanted to help people in need.

During their early years of marriage, Toby and Lewis lived in New York City, Kentucky, Idaho, and New Jersey until moving permanently to Charlotte, NC. Toby's role as a wife, mom, and homemaker brought her great joy. It was an adjustment when she returned to work full-time in her thirties.

Toby and her husband shared a passion for the arts. When they lived near NYC, it fueled a love of theater and performance. Toby and Lewis often took trips into the city with their children to see Broadway musicals or the ballet. After moving to Charlotte, they always bought season tickets for their family to attend CPCC Summer Theater. In addition, Toby and Lewis enjoyed going to the opera, ballet, and the symphony. While embarrassing to her teenage children, Toby was known to burst into "Oh what a beautiful morning!" or "The hills are alive..." at random times.

Toby also had fond memories of travel. After graduation, a two-month tour of Europe with friends gave her memories for a lifetime. After she married, the drive out west from New Jersey to their new home in Idaho included stops at the Great Tetons, Yellowstone, and the Grand Canyon. Every year there were trips to visit family in Jacksonville, Florida, and one year they visited her brother in San Francisco. Toby's dream of traveling to Israel was finally realized in 1995, when she and Lewis made the pilgrimage with a group from the synagogue.

Toby continued to pursue her interests, even though work and taking care of her family kept her very busy. She enjoyed needlework and painting, creating calendars and artwork for family and friends. She painted a mural at the Social Security office and later painted whimsical murals in children's rooms at people's homes, including decorating a room in her house for her granddaughters. She was a lifelong volunteer for many organizations and causes. She typed books in Braille for the blind, cared for people through Hospice, was an adult literacy tutor, and interviewed the elderly to write their life stories.

An avid reader, Toby inspired a love of reading in her children by making weekly trips to the library starting at a young age. She read to her three daughters nightly all the way through sixth grade. In her sixties, she started a Book Club in her Sardis Woods neighborhood, where she made many friends and which continues to meet to this day.

Toby's strong faith kept her connected to the Jewish community, and her dedication and determination helped her reach her goal of becoming a bat mitzvah at the age of sixty-six. She was active in various groups, often involved in charitable events. She always welcomed newcomers and the elderly into her home for Shabbat dinners and Jewish holidays.

While Toby faced and overcame many challenges during her life, her biggest was the death of her twin sister, Myra, at age forty. Dealing with this tragic loss changed Toby in many ways. While she missed her twin every day of her life, it emboldened her to make every moment count. She was constantly trying to become a better person, seeking out self-help books, posting inspirational quotes around the house. She had a deep connection to her family in Jacksonville and tried her best to stay in touch with all of her nieces and nephews to give them a piece of the mom and aunt they lost. Although Toby never fully recovered from losing the person who understood her best, it was clear that she carried Myra with her for the rest of her life.

Most of all, Toby was dedicated to family. Entertaining family and friends at her house for Rosh HaShanah, Passover, and Thanksgiving was one of her greatest pleasures. Since her daughters lived nearby, she made sure to bake their favorite cakes for birthday celebrations every year, always using the traditional Happy Birthday tablecloth and buying special decorations.

Becoming a grandmother to two granddaughters was a role she deeply cherished. When her first granddaughter, Eliana, was born, she decorated a nursery for her and took care of her part-time while her mom was at work. Toby and Lewis went to yard sales and filled the room with toys and games which changed as the grandchildren got older. When the children were young, hours were spent sorting buttons from the collection Bubbie kept in a large glass jar. Bubbie could often be found sitting on the floor, acting out stories with her granddaughters while playing with the dollhouse. They also spent time working on art projects together, including painting colorful birdhouses. A special memory was spending the night, watching a movie and then going out for Dairy Queen in their pajamas. Bubbie always brought the warm blanket with penguins on it, and they would snuggle up in the backseat of the car, eating their ice cream.

While the last few years became difficult because of physical challenges and dementia, Toby's spirits were always lifted by visits from friends and family. Special thanks to Aneita, the loving caregiver who provided comfort, support, and friendship along with her other guardian angels: Chaunte, Laura, Mary, and the team at Olearia Home Care.

Toby Thier Spitzer passed away on November 22, 2024. She was preceded in death by her parents, Samuel and Runny Thier; her husband of 55 years, Lewis F. Spitzer; sisters, Myra Lazarus and Horty Gendzier; and son-in-law, Greg Goodwin.

She is survived by her three daughters, Arriel Goodwin, Miriam Franklin (Scott), Naomi Moore, and her two granddaughters, Eliana and Lyric Franklin. She was also survived by her special companion, Ed Saltzman.

A service will be held at the Chapel of the Hebrew Cemetery, 1801 Statesville Ave. on Tuesday, November 26 at 11 am.

Donations in Toby’s name are appreciated. Causes dear to her heart were Emily’s List, the Charlotte Mecklenburg Library Foundation, or The Jewish Federation of Charlotte.