Thomas Joseph O'Leary

Thomas J. O’Leary passed away November 5, 2025, with his family by his side after a brief illness. He was born February 11, 1951, in Grand Forks, North Dakota to the late Keith and Evelyn O’Leary. He was the youngest of 5 brothers and one sister (his protector). We are positive that Tom’s parents modeled patience, consideration for others, being responsible, and a sense of humor on an hourly basis to raise 6 kids in a modest home. Tom lived that way throughout his life and passed that on to his boys.

Tom had a mischievous start to his academic career by getting evicted from his high school homeroom to a desk in the hallway by Sister Bernarda at Sacred Heart School for the better part of one year. He attended Assumption College, the University of North Dakota, and the University of Virginia, where he earned a Ph.D. in Sociology.

Tom spent 30+ years working on the preparation and administration of grants to the National Cancer Institute (NCI) to support cancer research and clinical trials, first at the University of Virginia (1984-2009) and then while commuting long distance to the Pennsylvania State University-Hershey (2009-2014). UVa received its first-ever Cancer Center Support Grant (CCSG) after Tom was hired by the late Robert Wagner, MD. Tom’s sections of the applications received consistently high ratings from reviewers, he greatly enjoyed working with the many physicians and basic scientists included in these grants and he served as outside advisor to other Cancer Centers.

In retirement, Tom greatly enjoyed playing golf with his Tuesday-Thursday buddies, the Lance Clark group, and the BSers (Birdwood Seniors team) plus playing tennis with his friends at Boars’ Head, where he was known for always wearing the most vibrant colors and patterns of any player on the court. (Amy would tell him there was a reason he found clothing in those colors at steep discounts). He loved early morning summer fishing trips on peaceful lakes in northern Minnesota with his brothers (generally followed by a large pancake breakfast and a nap).

Amy and Tom and their friends also enjoyed many live music performances at the Paramount and other local venues. He learned to play the guitar at about age 60 and was very proud of his made in Minnesota Lloyd LaPlant acoustic guitar.

Amy and Tom had the opportunity in the recent post-Covid years to travel to Ireland, Alaska and the Rhine River Valley. In Ireland, a guide took Tom through an unmowed pasture to his family’s ancestral O’Leary Castle in County Cork (note: it is not remotely close to habitable). Tom commissioned some O’Leary Castle merch for his relatives following that memorable experience.

He had a lifelong affection for animals, especially Labrador retrievers and shelter cats with quirky personalities. He would regularly visit the adoptable cats at the CASPCA “just to take a look,” which of course sometimes resulted in new cat additions to the household. Many departed pets lived on in his stories about them.

Family meant everything to Tom and he showed that by showing up. He stayed in touch and regularly made trips to spend time with his family members in Minnesota. He modeled what it means to give of yourself and give to others for his sons James and Andrew.

Tom was predeceased by his parents; his brother James; and his sister Meredith. He is survived by his wife of 41 years, Amy; his beloved sons James (Parker Prothero) and Andrew (Emma Haught); his brothers John (Jane), Keith (Marianne Markkanen), and Donovan; his sister-in-law Meg (Gerald Conley); his brother-in-law Bill Doble; and his adult O’Leary nieces and nephews whom he loved texting, emailing, and seeing in person when the stars aligned. The stars aligned in October, shortly before his illness, for a reunion with two of his brothers and two of his nieces. His devoted Labrador retrievers, Katie (nicknamed Winky because she lost an eye) and Jack, and his grand Lab Jazz are missing him and their daily walks.

The family wishes to express its deep gratitude to the health professionals at UVA Hospital who tried so valiantly to stabilize Tom’s health in the storm. To the medical and nursing staff on the 4W MICU at UVa—you are our heroes. You were so kind, so honest, and so attuned to our family’s well-being as well as Tom’s—we’ll never forget you. And the constant support of our extended family and friends has kept us afloat through a heartbreaking time.

A celebration of life is tentatively planned for spring 2026, when the grass starts to become green on Tom’s beloved Birdwood golf course. In lieu of flowers, the family suggests memorials to the UVa Comprehensive Cancer Center (https://giving.uvahealth.com/organization/uva-comprehensive-cancer-center ) or to the Charlottesville Loaves and Fishes Food pantry (https://cvillefoodpantry.org/ ) which provides full shopping carts of free healthy food to food-insecure residents in our area.