Ethel A. Shafter

Ethel Ankner Shafter died peacefully on May 4, 2026, in Chatham, Massachusetts, at the age of 91. A master of the bridge table, Ethel was known for her sharp mind, generosity, and unwavering commitment to education, service, and community.

Born on September 6, 1934, Ethel was the daughter of Frank J. Ankner and Ethel Dunn Ankner of Madison, New Jersey. The youngest of four children, she was predeceased by her siblings Charles Ankner, Frank Ankner, and Mary Ankner. She was married for 59 years to the love of her life, Robert L. Shafter, who predeceased her in 2021. She is survived by her four children: Dennis Shafter; Mary Sullivan and her husband, James; Andrew Shafter and his wife, Maryann Boyd Shafter; and Brandy Chapman and her husband, Paul. She also leaves behind ten grandchildren, each of whom brought her immense joy: Shannon Sullivan Wotring and her husband, Matt; Erin Shafter; Jack Shafter; Megan Sullivan; Kate Shafter; Kerry Sullivan; Tim Shafter; Connie Chapman; Brandon Chapman; and Paul Chapman.

Ethel’s formative years were spent in Washington Heights, and she remained a proud New Yorker at heart. In her view, Manhattan had the best of everything. Her New York upbringing was evident in her larger-than-life personality, confidence, and unwavering belief that any problem could be solved with determination and the right people.

A proud graduate of The College of New Rochelle, Ethel received the Angela Merici Medal in 2011, the college’s highest honor for alumnae who demonstrate exceptional loyalty to the Church and outstanding career achievement. She was a pioneering woman on Wall Street, enjoyed a distinguished career as a Trust Advisor after raising her family and founded the New Canaan chapter of the American Association of University Women (AAUW), to support women in higher education.

Ethel helped shape the civic fabric of New Canaan, Connecticut, where she lived from 1969 until 2012. She held leadership roles on the New Canaan Republican Town Committee, the Garden Club, and the League of Women Voters. She enthusiastically served on New Canaan’s 1976 Bicentennial Committee, helping organize the town’s landmark July 4th celebration. In Chatham, she served on the Republican Town Committee and on the Board of the Chatham Marconi Maritime Center, home to the historic wireless receiving station and museum.

As a mother, Ethel poured her energy into creating opportunity, structure, and joy in her children’s lives. She was the steady engine behind carpools, a reliable presence at games and concerts, and a leader who believed in shaping character through service. She gave her children strong academics, wide ranging activities, and the gift of travel, all grounded in the Catholic values that shaped her own life. She was an active member of St. Thomas More Parish, in Darien, CT, ensuring her children participated in CCD, altar service, and Parish programs, and later at Holy Redeemer Church in Chatham, MA, where she participated in the Choir, Women’s Club and the Sandwich Ministry.

Family life brought endless adventures. Summers at the Lake Club, Stamford Yacht Club sailing cruises, and skiing at Bromley Mountain created cherished memories. Retirement shifted family fun to Chatham, where Friday Band Concerts, Stage Harbor Yacht Club events, boating, and an annual grandchildren’s birthday celebration became traditions. Every gathering included a birthday cake — a hallmark of Ethel’s devotion to family.

Ethel and Bob traveled widely for work and pleasure. One of her proudest accomplishments was attending every Olympic Games from 1980 to 2004, collecting treasured memories and pins she passed on to her children. Her travels took her across the world — to China, Japan, South America, Europe, and Russia — experiences she recounted with gratitude and delight. In her later years, she embraced Viking River Cruises, savoring the chance to explore history and culture at a gentler pace.

Family and friends are invited to call on Thursday, May 28, from 4 to 7 p.m. at Nickerson Funeral Home, 87 Crowell Road, Chatham. A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated at 10 a.m. on Friday, May 29, at Holy Redeemer Church, 57 Highland Avenue, Chatham. Interment will follow at 12:30 p.m. at the Massachusetts National Cemetery in Bourne.

In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to the Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur (www.sndden.org) or ATTN: Sister Leonore Coan, SND, 30 Jeffreys Neck Rd, Ipswich, MA 01938.