Nancy Dykens O'Neil

Nancy Dykens O’Neil died at Cape Cod Hospital on Monday, September 1, 2025 after a valiant struggle with rheumatoid arthritis. She was 75. Born and raised in Natick and then Sherborn, Nancy considered the Cape, currently Brewster, her true home. She leaves her husband Sean after 41 years, her children Catherine O’Neil of Boston and Amy Goodinson of Orleans, and her granddaughter Amanda McDonald of Brewster.

Nancy was the oldest of six siblings: Jim Dykens, Brewster; Elisabeth Dykens, Nashville TN; Jeffrey Dykens, Chatham; Jonathan Dykens, Raymond, ME; and Amy Dykens, France. Her parents, now deceased were James W. Dykens, a prominent psychiatrist, and Thelma B. Dykens. Among Nancy’s treasured memories were summers in Chatham where her parents had bought a small cottage on Oyster River. Her dad would gather the family on Sunday afternoons for boat rides through Stage Harbor and out to Monomoy, and her mom would quip “There goes another $1,000 Jim!”

Nancy attended Sherborn High School, was active in the Unitarian Universalist Church, and was a member of the church choir. Music was her first love. She played the piano, and she majored in music at Wheaton College in Norton. She went on to Boston University for a master’s degree in social work, but music and marriage were all consuming. Nancy joined the Tanglewood Festival Chorus as a soprano. She sang with the chorus for Michael Tillson Thomas, Seiji Ozawa, and Leonard Bernstein at Tanglewood, Carnegie Hall, and Boston’s Symphony Hall.

Early in their marriage, Nancy and Sean lived on the Lawrence Academy campus in Groton, MA where they met many good, lifelong friends. When they moved to the nearby town of Harvard, Nancy worked as an administrative assistant at the Fruitlands Museum where she discovered file drawers of original manuscripts from historical figures including Ralph Waldo Emerson and Bronson Alcott. Nancy looked forward to occasional winter vacations on Sanibel Island and inevitably brought home buckets of seashells that she displayed in various ways throughout her home. Over time, they moved to Waltham and then to Salem, one of Nancy’s favorite places. She loved the history, the architecture, the waterfront character, and the diversity of that small city.

Nancy loved her home in Brewster above all. While it was a vacation escape for some time, she knew it would become her forever home. She was enamored of interior design, had a flare for contemporary approaches with fabrics, colors, and art works, and she decorated every inch of space. In retirement, she focused on family and continued a tradition of an annual Christmas Eve party often serving a sit-down dinner for 24 guests.

Nancy was the epitome of “othercenterdness.” She cared most for others, was empathetic and sympathetic. She believed in the truth. Her wisdom was from her heart, and she lived her life with joy for the present and hope for the future. Nancy’s life, well lived, was a gift to all who were fortunate enough to know her. She will be missed.

The family will gather to celebrate Nancy’s life at the cemetery. In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to a favorite charity.