Mrs. Mary Jane Isabelle Doucette Turman

It saddens our hearts to announce the sudden passing of our beloved wife, mother, nanny, and great-nanny Mary Jane Isabelle (Doucette) Turman. Mary Jane was born on March 30th 1927 in Spirit Wood, Saskatchewan and passed on January 2nd 2010 in Chilliwack.

Mary Jane is survived by her loving husband of 63 years Miros, children Pat (Darwin) Friesen, Joanne (Terry Holowachuk) Boychuk and Dennis (Jackie) Turman, grandchildren Melinda (Tony) Thompson, Darren Friesen, Jeffery Boychuk, Christy (Luiz) Dos Santos, Jillian Turman, Jenna Boychuk, Danielle Turman, and Cory Turman, great-grandchildren Carly Chaput, Josh Boychuk, Karissa Boychuk, Ciara Thompson, Logan Boychuk, and Anabelle Dos Santos.

Prayers will be held on Friday, January 8th 2010 at 6:00 p.m. from the St. Mary’s Roman Catholic Church, 8909 Mary Street, Chilliwack. Funeral Service will be held on Saturday, January 9th 2010 at 11:00 a.m. from St. Mary’s Church.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Alzheimer’s Society of B.C.

Online condolences can be left at www.hendersonsfunerals.com

Henderson’s Funeral Home 604.792.1344

EULOGY FOR MY NANNY

By Melinda Thompson - Mary Jane's oldest grand-daughter

On behalf of Mary Jane’s family, I’d like to Thank You all for supporting us by being here today as we honor and remember The most special woman in our lives.

I am Mary Jane’s first grandchild and the daughter of Patsy. It is my privilege to be able to stand before you today and tell you the story of Mary Jane’s life and to give you a hint of what it was like to be fortunate enough to have had her as my Grandmother.

I know that we are all grieving today for we have lost a great lady. But, I also know that wherever she is now, she is happy and content with what she left us. Anyone that was lucky enough to have met Mary Jane had their life enriched and her legacy lives on in those she has left behind. She was a Wife, Mother, Sister and sister-in-law, Grandmother or Nanny as we all knew her, Great-Grandmother, Aunt, Cousin and above all, a Friend to all of us.

Nanny was born Mary Jane Isabelle Doucette, the 4th of 12 children to Alcide and Lena Doucette on March 30, 1927 in Spirit Wood, Saskatchewan.

A strong, confident and caring girl, she grew up in a large, close-knit family on a farm on the prairie. Her memories of growing up there were happy and filled with stories of hard work. She and her siblings helped their parents on the farm and by taking care of the younger brothers and sisters in the family. They were a very musical family and she told many stories of the instruments they all played and the songs they would gather to sing. As a teenager, Mary Jane took on a job for an old woman near the town where they lived as a housekeeper and caregiver. The old woman become fond of Mary Jane and the job she did for her and told her that if she stayed on working for her, that she would reward her handsomely for her work. But by the time Mary Jane was 16 years old, the Doucette family was preparing to move west to BC where their oldest daughter Deanna had settled with her new husband near Vancouver. Not ready to be away from her family, Mary Jane quit her job for the old woman and came to BC with her family.

Once in Vancouver, she took a job at a box factory. During this time, she would meet a handsome, Polish fellow, 5 years older than she, at a dance that she went to with Deanna. Miros Turman was 21 years old and just about to enlist in the Army and be sent overseas during the second world war. During their courtship, she used to hitch hike from Vancouver to Chilliwack to help out Mr and Mrs Turman who owned Turmans Grocery on the corner of Evans and Wells Roads in Chilliwack – where a store still stands to this day. Mary Jane and Miros dated for a couple of years and eventually married when she was 19 and he was 24, on April 22, 1946 at St Mary’s church in Vancouver.

They moved in with Miros’ parents to a 2 room shack on Wells Road in Chilliwack. While Miros was overseas, a 9 acre parcel of land came available next to his parents property, so they used the money in his bank account to purchase the land for him and Mary Jane while he was away. Upon his return from the war, he built them their first family home which had 2 bedrooms and a basement. The family began when Patsy was born in 1947 followed by Joanne in 1954 and Dennis was born a year later. Sometime later, they built a larger home around the corner on Evans Road, where they lived for 16 years. The children grew up next to Turmans store and attended Evans Elementary school just down the road. All 3 of the kids, graduated from Sardis Secondary School.

Around this time, Nanny began working at the York Farms cannery on South Sumas Road. The work there was physically demanding with shift work and many, long hours on her feet. But, she enjoyed the work and especially the people she worked with. She formed many lasting friendships there and there were many stories told of her many years of work there. I remember stopping by to see her at work and how she proudly introduced me to her co-workers and showed me around the place. It was fun to go for a tour inside such a huge factory where most of our canned and frozen food was made. I wish I had a picture of her in her hard hat and hair next with her work clothes on…that is a scene I saw many, many times and as I recall she usually wore a big smile on her face too. I’ll never forget the night that she came home from work with a look of despair, though. She had worn her wedding ring under her gloves and sometime during her shift, the diamond must have come loose and cut through the glove. When she removed her gloves, she noticed that the center diamond was missing from her ring. Upset about her ring, she quickly realized that there wasn’t much she could do at that point. We often joked about where it could have gone and wondered what lucky York Farms customer might have opened their can of asparagus to find her diamond in the can.

While she did a great job of working outside the home and providing for her family, her job and pay cheque also gave her a great sense of accomplishment and I was glad that she often rewarded herself for her hard work. There was a time when she loved to go shopping and I recall many trips to the local malls as well as to Abbotsford and Surrey to go shopping for clothes. She loved to buy clothes. You didn’t always get to see what she’d bought, however, since you could go to her room at any given time and find many of the clothes still hanging in her closet with the tags still on them. It seemed that shopping for them was more fun than wearing them. Either that, or she bought clothes that she couldn’t wear to work or around home, so that’s why you rarely saw her wear them.

Gambling was something that she really enjoyed. From scratch tickets to slot machines, she enjoyed all aspects of the games of chance. She took me to my first Bingo game when I was about 15 and that become something we enjoyed doing together for many years. She would play so many games of bingo at one time, that it made me dizzy. She’d usually buy me a card with only 6 or 8 games on it and she’d sit across from and play her own 12 games plus mine upside down when I had a hard time keeping up to the numbers being called.

Papa and Nanny made dozens of trips to Reno over the years where she loved to play the slot machines. I always looked forward to her stories of their car and bus trips with Price and Doreen Davies. Nanny loved to travel which was funny, since she didn’t really like to fly in an airplane or ride on a boat and she never learned how to drive or even had a driver’s licence. Her family loved to see her and Papa travel and the trips always made her happy even if she did have to leave her fear of flying on the ground a few times. I have so many memories of our trips but especially my first trip to Reno where I met Nanny and Papa there while on one of their bus trips. She was so excited to be able to show me all of her and Papa’s favorite places and the highlight of the trip was when we were playing together and I hit the jackpot of $800 dollars playing the quarter slots with her at the Sands. She worked hard for her money, but enjoyed spending some of that hard earned cash as well.

Among their other travels were trips to Arizona, Las Vegas, Hawaii and a Caribbean and a pacific coastal cruise. We traveled as a family on many of these trips and made some wonderful memories together. Another first was a train trip on Via Rail from Chilliwack to New Westminster when Nanny took me to visit Great Grandma Doucette for the weekend. I think I was 8 years old. She loved to ride on the train and I quickly grew to love the train too.

As a young girl, Nanny was one of my best friends and if a day went by when I didn’t get to see her in person, we would talk on the phone. When I was 12, my family moved “up-country” as she and Papa called it to Lumby. This was a difficult move for me, especially having to leave my grandparents and cousins to whom I was so close. We kept in touch by phone and became regular passengers on the Greyhound until I turned 16 and could drive us back and forth. We made many bus trips together and thoroughly enjoyed the 10 hour trip through the Okanagan in the days before the faster, shorter route of the Coquihalla was built.

Nanny had a great sense of humour and knew how to have a laugh never taking life too seriously. She loved to be surrounded by her family which was her greatest joy. Blessed with 8 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren, she loved each one of us unconditionally and with all of her heart. Nothing brought a smile to her face like a visit with one of us. Even recently, when her Alzheimer’s was so bad that she couldn’t remember our names or recognize our faces, she still smiled warmly and lovingly at each each time we visited. She’d always tell everyone that she’d been waiting for them, she was glad they’d come to see her and that she loved them.

When it came to the kids, grand and great grand kids, she and Papa never missed an event in our lives. They came to every school concert, play, dance, music recital and every game – baseball, soccer, hockey, bmx race and all the family gatherings which she loved – graduations, weddings, baptisms and first communions. It didn’t matter how close or how far away, she and Papa were always there for us.

As we discussed stories of growing up, a few funny stories came to light. Like how when Nanny and Papa lived on South Sumas road in the 70’s, she would send Jeff, Darren and I to the store down the road to buy her Peter Jackson cigarettes and a treat for ourselves too of course. Or how she would take us to the Cheam Center at the Army base while Papa was at work there and we would go swimming. She never really swam a stroke, but enjoyed floating around in the water while Papa would come out on the deck in his work boots and watch us and help us learn to swim. After we always sat in the sauna, which Nanny loved and then they would take us to the Canex for ice cream before we went home.

Still on South Sumas, the house had a staircase with a landing part way down. Jeff and Darren used to race Nan’s suitcases down the stairs crashing into the door on the landing or the wall at the bottom of the stair case. Nanny would never get mad or yell at them, but after a few trips down she would come and take the suitcases away. They would go and dump out Darren or my suitcase and then start the races all over again. Of course, things like this only went on while Papa was at work. She would also let Jeff’s dog in the house as she loved all creatures especially animals and children. The rules were broken when Nanny was in charge. Like letting Joanne take Papa’s car to school

while he was away on his many trips to Ottawa for the Army. I’m not sure if Papa knew of all the fun things that we got to do when he was away at work, but Nanny’s rules were much different than the rules when Papa was around. We could always count on her to be there for us whether it was to babysit us while our parents worked or went away. Or later to babysit our kids for us. If anyone ever needed a place to stay for a day, week, month or a year, Nanny’s door was always open.

She was an amazing cook and I’m so glad to have the family recipes that she passed down to me. The skills she taught me in her kitchen are memories that I cherish and am now passing on to my own 2 daughters who both love to bake. Nanny’s kitchen was always a warm, inviting place and she showed me how to make her tourtiere, perogies, cabbage rolls, cookies, pies, soups and canned hundreds of quarts of dills, salsa, relish, jams. I remember the big crock of sauerkraut that always sat on the deck in the summer months, where she’d put the cabbage that she and Papa grew in their garden. Cookies were a specialty and I’m sure glad that she taught us how to make her cookie recipes, aren’t you Pops? In the past few years, when her Alzheimers would no longer allow her to bake, Papa took over the role of cookie dough mixer and baker, while Nanny worked along side him rolling the balls of dough. She would be proud Papa of the great job you did baking her cookies.

One of her favorite meals was to go out for Chinese food. She liked to have a cold beer with her Chinese food. She wasn’t much of a drinker but always said it was the one time she enjoyed a cold drink. So I hope that the next time you eat Chinese food, you’ll order some sweet and sour pork and toast her with a cold beer…I know I will!

Music was a huge part of her life, both at home in the Doucette household and every day of her life. I believe that Nanny had a song in her heart right up until she left us for a better place. I hope that place is filled with dancing and music as those were the things she loved. So many pictures of her and Papa dancing – it didn’t matter if it was the polka, country music, rock and roll – she loved it all. I’ll remember her forever singing Rose Garden by Lynn Anderson and Release me by Engelbert Humperdink. In the past 5 years or so she hummed continually and always seemed comforted by music.

Rocking in the rocking chair was a place she could always be found and it still makes me cry to think of her singing us babies to sleep with songs like Babes in the woods and Old Shep.

Over the past 15 years or so, it became a daily ritual for Nanny and Papa to either walk or drive to the Malls in Chilliwack. They put on many, many miles walking from their homes in Sardis over those years. People who didn’t even know their names, came to recognize them as the couple who always walked around the Mall together. When we would come to town for a visit and no one was home at their house, we would just drive to the Mall and find Papa’s car in the parking lot or look for them having coffee with friends in the food court.

In the early 80’s, they moved to their home on Mountview Way and this is where I was lucky enough to be able to move in with them for a year in 1986 while I attended College in New Westminster. We got the chance to become closer again and I really enjoyed and treasure the year that I spent there.

10 years later they moved to their final home together on Coachlamp Drive. For the past 18 months, we were blessed to have Nanny cared for by the wonderful staff of the Eden Rest home as well as by the man who has never left her side for the past 63 years. Thank you Papa for showing us what never-ending love and devotion truly means. We are all richer for having you and Nanny in our lives.

To close, I would like to read from a card that was given to me by one of my cousins last night.

“A Better Place”

There’s a place

I’ve never seen

Beyond this world we know,

A place I’ve only heard of

But someday hope to go –

It’s not on any map,

There are no roads

To take me there,

But it’s a place of perfect peace

Where hearts are free from care.

And though I understand

Some may be saddened

When I leave,

One day, we all will meet again –

That’s what I believe…

When it’s time to travel there,

I think I’ll wear a smile,

I’ll say good-bye to those I love,

But only for a while,

Knowing there are others

Who have traveled there alone,

Who cannot wait to greet me

And to whisper “welcome home”.