Edward and Jean Jule (Hurley) Porter

Jean Jule (Hurley) Porter

May 19, 1931 – March 18, 2020

COVID-19 didn’t take Jean Porter’s life, but it stole her death.

On March 18, 2020, hours before the lockdown, Jean Jule (Hurley) Porter died peacefully in her sleep at home in Waterford, Conn., after a long and debilitating battle with arthritis. She was 88.

The timing of her passing precluded a celebration of a life of considerable achievement. In the months that followed, her children set about the task of settling her affairs and grieving during the strange solitude of the pandemic.

At last, on Friday, Sept. 22, 2023, her ashes, along with those of her beloved husband, Edward Porter, will be interred at the family plot in Beaverdale Memorial Park in New Haven, Conn., where family and friends will pay final respects to a woman and her husband, who together forged a remarkable partnership over 63 years.

Born in New Haven on May 19, 1931, Jean grew up in West Haven, the oldest of two daughters born to John “Jack” Hurley and Emma (Antz) Hurley. Her parents started their family late in life for the time; her father, who had a daughter from a previous marriage, was 39, and her mother was 38 when Jean was born. At times they brought an old-fashioned, 19th century perspective to raising their children – Jack Hurley was known to be a strict father – but also a progressiveness reflecting the new century. Emma Hurley was, for many years, a public health nurse in West Haven who continued to work as a nurse at Grace New Haven Hospital into the 1970s. Emma was an early feminist who spoke her mind. As the oldest daughter of a strong woman living in a male-dominated world, Jean learned early not to hold back.

Jean and her sister, Myrna, were close and would be life-long friends. Their children would grow up together, and for many years, the sisters would trade off hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve celebrations. Jean also forged a relationship with her father’s first-born daughter, her sister Rita, who was 13 years older, and Rita’s family.

Jean followed her mother into nursing, attending the University of Bridgeport. In November of 1952 she became a Registered Nurse and continued her studies to receive her bachelor’s degree. During this time, she fell in with two classmates and the trio became great friends. Then, in March of 1955 she met a handsome, shy Air Force veteran from Bridgeport who had returned from the service to study at the college. From the second they met, Jean Hurley and Ed Porter never once went a day without seeing each other until long after their wedding day. They met in March, 1955, married the following March and had their first child the March after that.

The three nursing students and their eventual husbands all stayed life-long friends. The Porters, along with Betsy and Jim Armstrong and Louise and Charlie Evans, over the next 50 years would see each other socially, celebrate New Years’ and take numerous vacations together.

As a couple, Jean and Ed were hard working. She pursued her nursing career at St. Raphael’s Hospital in New Haven. He put his Air Force training to work as an electronic technician, eventually working for United Nuclear Corp. for more than 30 years.

But while Ed pursued steady, lifelong employment at a factory, Jean embarked on a dynamic career. While at the hospital, she began working with the nursing students who were training there. In 1965 the director of the nurse training program at the state’s technical school invited her to be a part of that year’s graduating class with a seat on the podium in recognition of her work with students at the hospital.

The next year, Jean became at full-time nurse instructor at the Eli Whitney technical school in Hamden, Conn. The role, with summers off, fit well with her growing family – she and Ed would eventually have three children - but to advance she would need to get her master’s degree in Education. Taking classes at night over five years, she would earn her master’s degree in Education from Central Connecticut State College in 1971.

When the director of the nurse training program at Eli Whitney retired a few years later, Jean applied for and won that job. Along the way, she impressed with her thoroughness and ability to support her team of instructors. Eventually, she would become the Connecticut Department of Education staff Consultant assigned to oversee its allied health programs across the state.

Jean and Ed bought their first house in Hamden, Conn., not long after the birth of their second child in 1959. When Ed’s job moved to Montville, Conn., in 1973, the couple chose Old Saybrook, Conn., as their new home so as to allow them to commute in opposite directions.

Jean was, by her own admission, strong-willed. Her husband, meanwhile, was steadfast and patient. Together they shared values that included staying connected to extended family. Over the years they hosted numerous holiday gatherings at their home. These were festive affairs, loud and loving with Jean’s parents and Ed’s aunt and uncle – his parents passed away during his childhood – along with sisters, brothers and nieces and nephews, all in attendance.

Her career success led to life success. They put three children through college. They were able to take numerous family vacations, packing up their oversized station wagon to explore what the American highways of the 1960s and 1970s had to offer. When the Cold War ended and Ed’s defense contractor job was phased out in the early 1990s, they were able to retire early.

They bought a second home in Florida, and, ever-practical, the couple transitioned their Connecticut home to a 55-plus community in Waterford, where they planned to spend their final years.

As retirees, they loved hosting their nine grandchildren at their Florida home, and they continued holding those big family gatherings, cramming all the cousins into their retirement home in Waterford. They traveled, sometimes flying to places overseas, but often still driving miles across the country, something they never seemed to grow tired of.

Jean loved her pets, especially the two beagles the couple adopted in succession, Alfie and Mookie. She liked the classic TV of her generation – Matlock was a favorite – and she always enjoyed getting in a pool. As a wife and mother she could be bossy, but she had a soft streak and was immensely proud of her children and grandchildren.

Throughout most of her life, she was blessed with being healthy, but in middle age arthritis set in. For whatever reason it was relentless for her. It would eventually limit her mobility, and in her final years, she was confined to her home and her bed.

She lost Ed in February of 2019, who himself had been ill for some time. In those last years, Ed and Jean were grateful for the support of their daughter, Linda, who saw to it they had in-home aides – Theresa Swank and others – who would take good care of the couple.

Her passing just prior to the pandemic was in some ways a blessing, not just because it would have been difficult to care for her in a locked-down world, but also because Jean was an extravert who enjoyed the presence of others, always willing to strike up a conversation. These qualities served her well as she built a remarkable life with her beloved husband, Ed. She always had time for a friend or family member, especially if it was one of her children, and she loved nothing more in her final years than hearing from them. In the end, this is what made her so driven. She would tell you she did it for her family, especially her kids. This is something they all knew, and loved her for.

Jean Jule (Hurley) Porter is survived by her sister, Myrna (Hurley) Brown, of West Haven, Conn., and also three children and their spouses, Clifton E. Porter and his wife, Lauri Olson-Porter, of Jensen Beach, Fla., and South Deerfield, Mass., John W. Porter and his wife, Alexis Porter, of South Portland, Maine, and Linda Porter Rehberg and her husband, John Rehberg, of Old Saybrook, Conn., as well as nine grandchildren, six great grandchildren and numerous nieces and nephews. She was predeceased by her loving husband, Edward H. Porter, her parents, John Hurley and Emma (Antz) Hurley, her sister Rita (Hurley) DeLeone, her brother-in-law, Raymond Brown, as well as Edward’s siblings, Jane (Porter) Pybus, Katherine (Porter) Vorel and Clifton A. Porter, Jr.

There will be a brief ceremony honoring Jean and her husband Edward on Friday, Sept. 22nd at noon at Beaverdale Memorial Park, 90 Pine Rock Ave., New Haven, Conn. Family and friends are welcome to attend.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Arthritis Foundation at www.arthritis.org.