Mary Rose Cave

A Life for Children

Mary Rose Cave (Fazzino) of Clinton, CT was called home into God’s loving arms after a brief illness on September 17, 2023. Mary was surrounded by her family, in the home her loving husband of 67 years, Jim, built for her and their children in the early 1960’s. While Mary was not an author in the strict sense of the word, her life story was written in the hearts and minds of hundreds of children – and if it were to be written down, would be most aptly titled A Life for Children.

Mary began writing her life story in Middletown, CT on October 6, 1933, when she was born as the eldest child and only daughter of Sebastian and Maria Fazzino (Marino) of Middletown, CT. The Fazzino family settled in Middletown as did many other immigrant families from Sicily, Italy in the middle of the century. Little did anyone know that the passion and professional calling for Mary’s life work would begin in that home where Italian was the spoken language, and education and hard work was the unspoken but well-understood expectation. With both Sebastian and Maria working outside of the home to provide for their family, Mary became like a mother-teacher to her younger siblings, Paul and David. Mary’s passion for children soon extended beyond the walls of the family home, and during her high school years she served as a volunteer “Candy Striper” at Middlesex Memorial Hospital on the children’s floor.

After high school, Mary began the next chapter of her Life for Children story, enrolling at New Haven State Teacher’s College – now known as Southern Connecticut State University – where she was graduated in 1956 with a degree in elementary education. During Mary’s college years, other elements of her personality emerged: her enlightening sense of humor brightened many days; she became interested in sports; she was a majorette with the marching band (and in later years would entertain her young children with her prowess with a baton!); and played women’s baseball. At college, she also began to hone her skills as a “back seat driver” while with her friends on automobile excursions, a skill that she used and refined over many years, much to the chagrin of her husband Jim and then, in later years, each of her children – even up to these last few years of her life during short trips to doctor’s appointments or other outings.

It was while living in the New Haven area and attending college that Mary met the love of her life – a dashing young man named Jim Cave. Jim had served in the United States Air Force and now worked in the carpet department at Sears in New Haven while attending Quinnipiac College on the GI Bill. At the same time, Mary held a part-time position at the Sears’ candy counter. After turning down Jim’s requests for dates several times, Mary finally relented after bumping into Jim yet again, this time not at Sears, but rather walking to work one morning from the apartment she shared with her roommate. Astonishingly, Jim and Mary discovered they both lived on the same street! Their favorite song soon became On the Street Where You Live – the Lerner and Lowe hit collaboration from the 1956 Broadway Musical My Fair Lady. The relationship blossomed and Jim and Mary were married on August 25, 1956 – and the song was played at every wedding anniversary for the next 67 years – and will continue to be in the years to come.

Mary’s Life for Children story continued, and began its professional phase as an elementary school teacher at Middletown’s Spencer and Wilbert Snow Elementary Schools, where she taught kindergarten and first grade. During this period, she gave birth to daughter Cindy and son Dan while continuing her teaching career. Always seeking to provide for his family, Mary’s husband Jim bought a plot of land in Clinton and began building the family home – with his own hands – on nights and weekends. The family home soon began to take shape and in the early 1960’s, the young family moved in – with Jim continuing his now professional career in plumbing and heating system sales by day, and completing the interior work on the new home by night and on weekends. Mary began teaching in the Clinton Public Schools, first at Abraham Pierson School and then on to Joel Elementary School during the weekdays – and on weekends, she was Superintendent of the Sunday School program at the United Methodist Church of Clinton, CT, where she also served as a Sunday School teacher. The young family grew some more with the birth of daughter Renita in 1965. After a brief absence to raise her family, Mary returned to teaching for the next three decades – all told a career spanning 37 years and hundreds and hundreds of young lives nurtured - before she retired in 2000.

Mary’s Life for Children extended well beyond her “official” students – to her three children attending her beloved Clinton public schools to which she was unconditionally dedicated; to neighborhood children for whom she became a “second mother”; to grandchildren; and in the last decade, great grandchildren who she took such pleasure in nurturing, reading books with, and teaching – always teaching. Mary was most at ease and most happy teaching and nurturing small children. Late summer was always a special time in the Cave household as Mary – with the unbridled glee of a young child on Christmas morning – began to spread out and convert the kitchen and dining room into a production of fun, hand drawn child nametags and other materials for the opening of school – enlisting the entire family in the process!

Mary also had a passion for music. While taking piano lessons at an early age, she discovered a special gift. While she could read music, she could also listen to a recording of songs, or sometimes her instructor’s initial playing of a piece, and quickly learn to play it “by ear.” Of course, she could not keep this a secret for long, and soon her instructor told her parents to save their money and stop lessons because she did not read the music anyway! Mary brought music into her family and into her classrooms – she could listen to a piece, then tinker for a few minutes on a piano to get the key right, and suddenly play it near flawlessly. She was one of the few teachers permitted to have a piano in her classroom and one could frequently hear the happy sounds of singing children when walking by it in the Joel Elementary School hallway.

Mary leaves behind her husband of 67 years, Jim Cave, of Clinton, CT; daughter Cindy (Fromme) and her husband Joe of Clinton; daughter Renita Reid also of Clinton, CT; Gordon Reid of Clinton, CT; and son Dan Cave and his wife MaryBeth of Glastonbury, CT. Mary also leaves her brothers Paul Fazzino and his wife Jeanette of Middletown, CT and David Fazzino and his wife Susan of Shavertown, PA. Mary was predeceased by her parents, Sebastian and Maria, and brother Paul Sebastian Fazzino. The legacy of Mary’s Life for Children lives on in her 12 grandchildren, 4 grandchildren “in-law” and 5 great-grandchildren, all of who affectionally, lovingly, and permanently know her as “Bee”.

Mary’s family will hold calling hours at Swan Funeral Home at 80 East Main Street, Clinton, CT on Monday, September 25, from 4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Mary’s celebration of life service will be held at 11:00 a.m. on Tuesday, September 26 at the United Methodist Church at 12 Commerce Street in Clinton, CT. Mary favorite color was blue, and in her honor and memory, attendees are welcome to wear something blue to the service at the church. Following the church service, Mary’s family will host a reception in her honor until 3:30 pm at The Westbrook Elks Lodge 1784, 142 Seaside Avenue, Westbrook, CT.

In lieu of flowers, family and friends are welcome to make tax-deductible donations in Mary’s memory to: Friends of Joel, c/o Lewin G. Joel, Jr. Elementary School, 137-A Glenwood Road, Clinton, CT 06413 or the Clinton Education Foundation, P.O. Box 684, Clinton, CT. Donations should include a note designating that the donation is in memory of Mary Cave.

Mary will be laid to rest in a private ceremony at the State Veteran’s Cemetery in Middletown, CT.