Mary R. Stull

On January 11, 2017, the world lost a quiet but powerful example of faith, strength, and perseverance over unthinkable grief and loss, with the death of 82-year old Sterling Heights resident Mary Rose Stull.

A retired social worker, active member of St. Michael’s Catholic Community, and loving friend to many, Mary will be most remembered for her show of grace and courage in surviving the deaths of four young-adult children, Carolyn (1994), Paul (1995), Audrey (1996), and Patrick (1997), her husband, Bill (2000), and grandchildren Kiran (2012) and Kavya (2014).

Mary was born on May 17, 1934, in Henderson, Kentucky to George Logan Rapier, I, and Mary Rose Rapier (Coffeey). She lost her father at a young age, and, with her brother Logan, was raised among strong women, including her mother, a bookkeeper, and aunts who shared their home. Mary graduated as valedictorian of Henderson’s Holly Name of Jesus High, class of 1952, earning a full academic scholarship. She was forced to decline the scholarship because she had contracted tuberculosis. For two years, she recovered and cared for an aunt also struck with the disease, before setting off for Brescia Junior College in 1954. Mary spent two years at Brescia before matriculating to St. Louis University, where she earned a Bachelor of Science in Sociology, and later a Masters of Social Work. Her whole life, Mary was fond of recounting that she received a Jesuit education.

Ahead of her time, Mary was a career woman, working as a social worker in St. Louis, until meeting William Joseph Stull at a convention of the Catholic Alumni Club (for college-graduate Catholics) in 1965. The couple fell in love, with Bill detouring his car trip home to Detroit to drop off Mary in St. Louis. This begun a long-distance romance culminating in their wedding on September 25, 1966. Mary and Bill quickly filled their Detroit home with children, giving birth to Carolyn Ann in 1967, Audrey Rose in 1969, Brian William in 1971, Patrick John in 1972. They then moved to Clinton Township, Michigan in 1975, becoming founding members of St. Michael’s Catholic Community. A fifth child, Paul Logan, was born that summer.

Mary nurtured her Catholic faith and raised her family at St. Michael’s, where she took a longtime active role in the Christian Service Committee. As a social worker, most recently for the State of Michigan, Mary cared for and aided low-income mothers and families, elderly people confined to institutions, and people with disabilities. Mary filled what remained of evenings and weekends with swim-team shuttling for her five swimmers. The family enjoyed summer vacations camping on Lake Huron in Ontario.

As her children became young adults, a tragic chapter begun. One by one, each of three developed cancers; Carolyn in 1993, Paul in 1994, and Patrick in 1996. The family learned that Carolyn, Paul, Patrick, and Bill carried a rare mutation to the P-53 gene, a condition known as Li-Fraumeni syndrome. Each child engaged long battles with tumors of the brain, bone, and later in the lung; each endured grueling surgeries and treatments, including chemotherapy and radiation. In each case, doctors offered hope that the cancer could be put in remission with aggressive treatment. Ultimately, however, Carolyn succumbed to cancer in 1994, Paul in 1995, and Patrick in 1997. Mary and Bill provided tender care for each child, each of whom died with Hospice care in their Clinton Township home. Their second daughter, Audrey, was a Petty Officer in the Navy. On her trip home for her brother, Paul’s funeral, Audrey was killed in a car crash on an icy road in Washington Township, Michigan on January 11, 1996.

A wonderful community, with the members of St. Michael’s at the fore, helped to sooth Mary and Bill through these tragedies. Dear friends shared in the many rituals of remembrance the couple organized. Mary lost Bill to cancer in 2000. Now retired and living alone, Marry kept the faith and kept moving forward, dedicated not only to the memory of her lost family members, but also to the present and future. She focused her love on son Brian and his growing family. She had also adopted several friends of her children and relished a “supper club” with friends of her son Paul. She remained active in her church and in several volunteer capacities, often seeking out bereaved families to comfort. To a late age, she insisted on keeping her job of laundering the clothing of the people St. Michael’s would house annually as part of the Macomb County Rotating Emergency Shelter Team (MCREST).

Mary endured two more losses at the end of her life, of grandson Kiran Paul in 2012, who died in a tragic accident while traveling with his family in India and Kavya Rose, an infant born with a fatal heart condition in 2014. But Mary remained ever active, moving forward with hope, and full of grace. She downsized the Clinton Township family home and took up residence in Atria Senior Living Facility in 2013, where she gained yet another crew of admiring friends.

For Christmas of 2016, Mary made her final trip to North Carolina to see Brian, his wife Sejal, their son Kabir, and new twins Vivaan and Meera. The new twins, still shy of strangers, sat comfortably in grandma’s lap for play, as Kabir reminisced with grandma over picture albums and helped her with her new Facebook account. It was in a car service on the way home from the airport on that trip that Mary’s car was hit, on December 29, 2016. After showing impressive fight in the ICU, and enjoying several last days when she could visit with Brian and her many friends, the trauma to Mary’s lung, heart and body overcame her.

Mary is survived by her son Brian Stull, daughter-in-law Sejal Zota, grandchildren Kabir, Vivaan and Meera of Durham, NC, son-in-law Dave Bassett of Rochester Hills, daughter-in-law Stacey Miller-Blaha of Petersburg, VA, sisters in-law Gloria Stull (Chatham, Ontario) and Jean Johnson (Dearborn), dear friends Stacy Schoenherr, Ingrid Todt, Pat Martin, Joy Sandelich, the Rapier clan of Cincinnati Ohio, including four nephews, one niece, and numerous grand nieces and nephews, as well as loving friends, relatives and neighbors from Michigan, Kentucky, and Ontario. As an example to all, Mary’s light shines on forever.

Mary's visitation will be held on Friday, January 13, 2017 from 5pm to 9pm at Kaul Funeral Home 35201 Garfield, Clinton Township, Michigan.

Funeral Mass will be held Saturday, January 14, 2017 at 9:30am with Instate at 9am at St. Michael Catholic Church 40501 Hayes, Sterling Heights.

Donations made in Mary's honor to Angela Hospice would be appreciated by the family. http://www.angelahospice.org/donate/