He was born in Humble, Texas on September 27, 1985 to Marvin W. and Janet (Swim) Higgins. Shawn’s father passed away when Shawn was two years old. Shawn attended kindergarten in Humble and remained close to his Higgins grandmother and grandfather and aunts and uncles.
Shawn, his mother and his sister Stephanie moved to Derby, Kansas in 1992. Shawn attended public schools in Derby and during those years he established many close friendships that remained intact the rest of his life. He also made many trips back to his grandparents’ farm in Huntsville, Texas where he learned to enjoy horseback riding and developed a deep love of nature. During his school years Shawn’s family hosted two foreign exchange students, Sophie De Giorgi and Simon Schopferer, who, along with Sophie’s husband, Thomas De Coninck, he considered as his lifelong brothers and sister. His maternal grandmother, Joyce S. Swim, was a big influence throughout his life as well.
Shawn graduated from Derby High School in 2004 and Butler County Community College in 2006. He attended the University of Kansas and received a Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science from Wichita State University in 2016. Throughout his life he had an intense love of learning and educated himself in many areas, from history to quantum mechanics. He was near fluent in German and his other passions included politics, sports, especially the Kansas City Royals, and gun collecting. He was the perfect “fun” uncle to his niece and nephews and loved seeing the world through their eyes. He was devoted to the family dog Fritzi. Family and friends were always Shawn’s priority and he always put others before himself.
Shawn worked in different areas of retail and customer service throughout his life, most recently at City Blue Print in Wichita since 2012 where he was a digital plotter in the engineering department.
Shawn traveled to Europe five times, most recently in September 2019 with his mother and sister. In October he moved to Colorado Springs and looked forward to beginning a new phase of his life. He took great pleasure from the beauty of the area.
He is survived by his mother, Janet Higgins, Colorado Springs, sister Stephanie (Higgins) and Benjamin J. Gray, nephews Gavin and Alden Gray and niece Violet Gray, all of Scottsdale; and aunts Kathy Hilmers, Tomball, Texas; Pam Higgins, Burnett, Texas; and aunts and uncles Barbara (Higgins) and Bob Boyette, Coldspring, Texas; Debbie (Higgins) and John Calderone, Chappel Hill, Texas.
A Memorial Service is planned for Saturday, December 14, 2019 in the Explorer Room at Exploration Place, 300 McLean Blvd., Wichita, Kansas 67203. Interment will be in Rosewood Cemetery, Humble, Texas, in January 2020. In lieu of flowers, please pass on a random act of kindness in Shawn’s memory. “Be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”
Eulogy by
Tyler Sontag
12/14/19
I first met Shawn when I was in the 7th grade. I didn’t go to the 6th grade center with most of my peers so I remember when I walked in to class that first year it felt like everyone already knew each other and I was the new kid at a school district I’d gone to my whole life. One of the first new faces I’d met was Mark.
Mark and I were going out for the same position on the football team, and the outgoing guy he is we shortly became friends. It was through Mark that I first met Shawn. After practice one day we’d agreed to hang out and he said he’d be going over to Shawn’s house. I told them to call me and I’d catch a ride to meet up with them. When we did finally talk on the phone, the conversation didn’t go as expected. Mark sounded worried on the other end “Sontag, what did you do? Shawn’s really mad at you, he said you’ve been talking shit.” I was gobsmacked, there were a lot of new faces on the team and I couldn’t quite remember who Shawn was, let alone remember any time that I would have said anything bad about him. I nervously chuckled off the comment “Well, you better get over here, he wants to talk to you.” I questioned how bad I wanted to leave the house at that point. Still unsure what was going on, I arranged for a ride to Shawn’s house. When I got there, and knocked on the door, Shawn answered. With that kind of curled up face that he’d do he looked at me “You been talking shit?” I smiled “Ugh, I don’t think so.” He starred at me a moment longer and I wondered what was going to happen next. What happen next was, the stern look on Shawn’s face evaporated and he began to grin ear to ear. “I’m just messing with you, Man” he chuckled. What happened next was we all went inside and played Goldeneye the rest of the afternoon. What happened next was I had a new lifelong friend and a first hand experience with his unique sense of humor
It’s that sense of humor that I’ll remember the most about Shawn. I’ll remember how whenever you were going to see Shawn, there was a good chance he might show up garbed in some all wool Cowtown outfit of yesteryear like it was no big deal. I’ll remember how Shawn could liven up the mundane. Whether that was merely raising the volume of the group with a big cheer watching the game or rolling out one of his plans to send the group on a mission, Shawn always knew how to wrench a good time out of nothing. I’ll remember how he could talk at length about most anything going on in the world or any troubles you might be having in your life with passion and sincerity and still find ways to interject some zany non sequitur to lighten the mood. I’m going to miss that sense of humor.
Shawn was a lot of things to a lot of people. To me he was a travel buddy I’ll always remember 19 year old Shawn jumping in Simon’s dad’s station wagon and driving 90mph down the autobahn like he’d been doing it his whole life, he was a conversationalist, someone I could talk to about politics, religion, and all the other things polite society shies away from and count on him to have an opinion. He was an outdoorsman, some of my fondest memories with Shawn are walking round the ranch or driving through washouts on some halcyon Kansas summer of our youth. But most of all he was a friend. He was a friend that I’d have arguments with or troubles like anyone else but he was a friend who was there when you needed him. And, now, he’s a friend that I’m going to miss every time I see the German soccer team play in the world cup or a civil war movie come on TV. Now, he’s a friend I’m going to miss dearly. Love ya, Buddy.
Eulogy by
Mark Price
12/14/19
I want to start by thanking each and everyone of you for your love, support, and simply your presence here today in celebrating the life of Shawn. Some of you are here to morn an irreplaceable and unique friend, others are perhaps here showing respect for a lost peer or supporting a loved one who knew Shawn on a more personal level. Regardless, it’s so interesting on how……as a people, when faced with the finality of death, though sodden in sorrow, we become charged full life. We begin opening old boxes and exploring corners of basements that are fortified by cobwebs and crawl into attics just to re-discover that one picture, letter or baseball cap that remind us of a time that can shed light on this stint of darkness. We make phone calls to loved ones that are way passed due and drop grudges that we can’t even remember why they started in the first place. I mention this because Shawn was known for charging us with life. Any time we would hang out, it was always “remember this time” or “Higgs you still have that” and our conversations always lead to tears of laughter.
Shawn wasn’t just a friend, he was a confidant, a brother, and even at times a mentor. He was the friendliest, most comprehensive, huge hearted, and honestly most intelligent man I knew. (Sorry Dravis, you’re # 2). I credit Shawn for my love of history, my appreciation for learning, and the importance of staying true to what you believe in. We laughed, we cried, we debated, argued about those debates and then laughed some more. Shawn and I have had been best friends for over 20 years and I can only remember one time we actual got into a fight, not physical, but we didn’t talk for a day or two. It was over which US war throughout history was the most interesting and influential.
My fondest memory of Shawn was in the summer just after 8th grade. I was sitting with him in his room playing Golden Eye when my dad called and broke the news that we would be moving to Germany. I immediately broke down and started crying. Not only did I not want to leave my friends, school, girlfriend, and team mates. I also thought that living in Germany was like going to be living in the mountains milking cows with Heidi. Shawn’s response was a little different. I looked at him and he was literally jumping with joy like he had won the lottery. For those of you who knew Shawn he had a slight infatuation with Germany. I looked at him and said dude, I said I was MOVING……he quickly responded and said, yes……and now not only do I have a reason to go, but I have a place to stay in Germany. I was dumbfounded but slightly chuckled at the remark. However, I didn’t stop crying. Shawn told me to follow him and we went to the basement where the computer room was. He logged in, at that time probably pulled up Ask Jeeves and pulled up a song. It was “Rain drops keep falling on my head” by BJ- Thomas. I’d never heard the song before. He began playing it and explaining it as a metaphor to me moving. For those of you who have never heard the song it’s basically about rain falling on some guy, not complaining about it, and just staying positive. At first, I thought he was crazy, but that was Higgs….so unique, bizarre but brilliant. Some how it calmed me down. To this day, when I’m feeling down, I play that song.
I can keep talking about our moments together for hours, but we don’t have that kind of time. They say that time heals all wounds, but I’m here to tell you that’s not true. Loss and grief are like strapping a large boulder on your back. At first, it’s heavy and weighs you down, but over time you grow stronger and the weight gets easier to carry. However, the boulder is still there, you’ve just grown strong enough to carry it. I’ll miss my dear friend, but now I know he is closer to me, that there’s no more distance or time difference that separates us. I thank you Shawn for those years of friendship that you gave me. Thank you for everything you did for me. I want you to know my friend that I love you with all my heart. I’ll always remember you. I’ll always remember my irreplaceable friend, Higgs.
Eulogy by
Jon Dravis
12/14/19
Let me start by saying thank you to Janet and Stephanie and all of Shawn’s extended family for allowing me to speak today, and I want you to know that everyone in this room shares in your grief for losing Shawn. I take solace in seeing so many familiar faces, meeting Shawn’s colleagues, and reacquainting with old friends.
The other day I was talking to my son about going paintballing. He’s eight, but I suggested he’s getting old enough to go, and that got me thinking about the first time that I went. I went with Shawn. He showed up in full World War I military uniform, complete with helmet and gas mask. It was quintessential Shawn.
I met Shawn the summer after I moved to Kansas as a kid. I had a hard time making friends being the new kid, but at a basketball camp, I met Shawn and the two of us hit it off. We became best friends after both landing in the same sixth grade class and remained so for the rest of Shawn’s life.
I have countless childhood memories that I’ll never be able to catalog, but in school, they usually went something like this: Shawn and Mark would do something deviant or say something funny, I would laugh hysterically, and I would get in trouble for being disruptive. Once in Ms. Woods class, Shawn tore off a piece of paper and stuck it into the fan on the back of the overhead projector. The piece of paper caught on fire in the projector and the smell stunk up the classroom.
We all came of age together. Shawn, Mark, Tom, Tyler, Kyle, Adam, Luke, Josh, Simon and I spent our teenage years in Janet’s basement. Janet, I’m sure we drove you crazy, but in hindsight, I’m so grateful you gave us a place to be idiots without getting into too much trouble. I’m especially sorry that I shot off fireworks in your house, just know I was trying to get payback against Shawn and Kyle for shooting roman candles under the door of the back room when I was trying to sleep.
Shawn’s personality and interests left a profound imprint on all of us. Shawn is the reason I can name all of the highest scoring aces from World War I, Shawn is the reason I have the whole movie of Gettysburg memorized, Shawn is the reason that my inner monologue is a weird hybrid of English and German, Shawn is the reason I thought history was so cool that I pursued a career in it.
Intellectually, Shawn was a giant. I always valued his opinion and insight on every political or philosophical issue. It wasn’t just that Shawn and I agreed, it was that Shawn knew the history and context of every event and every issue. Shawn and I delved into every topic, why we think what we think, why the opposition thinks what they think, when and where ideas originated and when and where they have been tried before. Socrates once said that small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, and great minds discuss ideas. It is those discussions with such a great mind that I am missing most.
In the past year, I spent a lot of time with Shawn. He was everything that anyone could ask for in a friend. When things happened in my own life brought me trouble, Shawn would listen, ask questions, offer advice, and most importantly, care. Shawn was my best friend when I needed one first, and he was my best friend when I needed one most.
I will forever revisit the memories of Shawn when I need to laugh, when I want to think, or when I just plain miss him. But it is now my mission to continue his legacy for the rest of my own life. I will make time for the people that matter most to me. I will go out of my way to hear what’s bothering them and to support them in their time of need. That is who Shawn Higgins was on this earth.
One of the ideas Shawn and I often discussed was the nature of reality. Why is there time, matter, space, and energy? Is there some sort of greater experience or system of justice awaiting us when we die? Shawn was skeptical but admitted there is so much mystery in the universe. There are some questions to which we will never know the answer. I will never know why my friend took his own life, but I have faith that justice will be served for the good he did and the joy that he brought into this world. And I have faith that Shawn hears me when I say, “auf wiedersehen, mein freund.” Until we see each other again.
Eulogy by
Stephanie Higgins
- I am Stephanie Higgins, Shawn's sister.
- I am so thankful that all of you are here today. It is such a comfort to see how many lives Shawn touched.
I also want to express my deepest gratitude to the countless friends and family who have reached out to my mother and I over the last three weeks. It’s unfortunate that sometimes it takes heartbreaking events like this, to realize how many people we have who care for us. Friends and family have overwhelmed us with their generosity, love and prayers. Thank you so much.
My first memory of Shawn is the evening he was born. I can remember my parents excitedly leaving for the hospital. The next day my father took me to the hospital to meet my new brother. This is the moment I had been waiting for. I was a baby holding expert! I had at least 20 baby dolls at home and was ready to put my baby holding skills to the real test. I remember there being a big fuss that I scrub my hands first, wear a special smock and only hold him while
sitting down. I admit, I was a tiny bit offended. I knew how to hold a baby and I wasn't dirty. And then, when they handed me Shawn he cried. My four-year old self was confused and a bit deflated. Why was he crying? Didn't he love his big sister?
I'm now a Mom myself and realize that newborn babies just . . .cry. But Shawn's first interaction with me in the world, I must admit; it took my ego down a few notches!
But despite that initial crying, Shawn went on to be such a happy kid. He was ALWAYS smiling. On top of the smiling, the sun always seemed to be shining on his face too and he seemed to be in a constant state of squinting. In fact as he got older, you may realize he always wore sunglasses. He told me several times as an adult that he remembers always having to squint when he was a kid and hating it.
When Shawn was two, our father died unexpectedly. Shawn sadly was too young to have any real memories of his father. That was hard for him, especially as he grew older. It can’t have been easy to be the only boy in the family. As the years went on, my mother, Shawn and I would comment on what a small family we were. But we made the best of it. We had a lot of love to go around and were incredibly close to one another. Even as adults, Shawn and I spoke with our Mom everyday. We were taught from a young age that family is everything.
When he was six, we moved from Texas to Derby. Shawn started first grade at Tanglewood Elementary. During his elementary school years, I can recall my Mom dutifully taking him to Cub Scouts, Biddy Basketball and soccer. Other boys were there with their fathers, or their moms and Dads. I have so much respect and admiration for my Mother who was forced to assume the role of two parents. She never did it begrudgingly. She did it all with grace and unconditional love. Even when he was young, Shawn had a passion for learning. My mom and I used to say he’d be ok “kicks” where he was really into something. When he was about ten, he was really fascinated with space & NASA. Shawn took his interest further than most kid though. He and his friend called information in the cities where the astronauts supposedly lived and requested their phone numbers. Keep in mind this was before the internet. Then armed with our landline phone, he called the astronauts. Most of the people he got through to just had the same name of the astronauts, although that wouldn’t be evident until after Shawn asked, “Hi my name is Shawn Higgins and I just wondered if you could tell me what it was like to take part in the Gemini space program?” He did correctly reach one astronaut’s home though. He was pretty proud of that fact. I love Shawn’s enthusiasm. I also love that my Mom didn’t complain about that month’s phone bill!
Many of Shawn's closest friendships were formed early - during middle school. He always had friends over. In fact, my Mom hired someone to extend his bedroom door out into the hall, so it could also include the adjacent room with two twin beds. It seemed like Shawn had a friend spend the night every weekend. Several of you in this room, surely remember those years. When Shawn was in high school we moved to a different house in Derby and then it was our basement that was forever filled with teenage boys.
If you ever wanted to know how big Shawn's capacity for love was, you could just watch him for a few moments with his dog Milo or "MILO GOOD BOE" as he affectionately called him. I sometimes hung my head in embarrassed adolescent shame at how over-the-top Shawn was with his outburst of love towards Milo.
In high school, Shawn played football, continued to spend a lot of time with his friends, and was president of both the German Club and French Club. He traveled to Europe twice on his own to visit his friend Mark and sightsee. I remember being so proud of his independence. He wasn’t afraid of traveling alone. His senior year of high school, our family hosted a seventeen year old boy from Germany for the year named Simon. Shawn finally had a brother! It was a happy year, full of memories. Our basement was always full of Shawn and Simon’s friends hanging out. The two of them got along so well. They learned so much from each other. After the year was over, Shawn and Simon continued to keep in touch and visit each other. Shawn and his friend Tyler visited Simon and his family in Germany. I would also like to thank Simon today for being here, all the way from Germany. Shawn would be so touched.
Shawn received his Associate's Degree from Butler County Community College and then attended KU for two years. We all know what a KU fan Shawn was.
He visited me in Michigan around these years too, where he also became a Michigan fan. Again, our family was small but we stuck together. I fondly recall a few Christmases where Shawn and my Mom came to Michigan and stayed in my little one-bedroom apartment so I wouldn't be alone on Christmas. At this point in his life, Shawn spent many evenings and weekends at “the cabin” with his friends. When I was going through his computer looking for photos for the slideshow we played earlier, I came across many, many cabin pictures. I looked at each and every one, but ultimately decided it was best that what happened at the cabin, stayed at the cabin. You’re welcome guys.
In 2012 I was scrolling Facebook when I saw my friend Rose's post that she needed a new co-worker at City Blue Print. I immediately called Shawn and got him in touch with Rose. He ended up spending the next 7 1/2 years at City Blue Print. After he graduated from Wichita State with his political science degree, my Mom and I both urged him to find a new job, but he stayed at City Blue Print. He liked what he did and who he worked with.
Shawn challenged himself in other ways. He was curious about the world. He was fascinated with science and taught himself all about quantum mechanics and string theory. He loved history and particularly enjoyed learning about Civil War and World War I history. To relax he enjoyed watching Star Trek Next Generation, Poldark and Mr. Selfridge. He loved the Kansas City Royals and followed each game. He took Fritzi on walks daily. He loved that little dog so much. His memory was incredible. Shawn could blow anybody’s mind with his ability to recall specific dates throughout his life.
Around these years, Shawn became an Uncle. He has two nephews: Gavin and Alden; and a niece named Violet. Shawn took his Uncle responsibilities so seriously. He was always ready to play. He was "fun." Even though I knew he appreciated his quiet downtimes after work, he would always clear his evenings when the kids and I visited Kansas so he could goof off with his nephews. He put together slip-n-slides. He had endless Star Wars conversations. When my Mom moved out of her house in Derby in 2018, she sent my boys some of Shawn's
old toys. One day a big package arrived with Star Wars ships, action figures, and dinosaurs. One of my boys innocently asked me, "Oh so Shawn stopped playing with these?" I couldn't help but laugh. Shawn hadn't played with these toys in 20 years, but to my boys he was like a big, fun kid. The last time I saw him, which was in October; he was carefree and dancing on the patio with his three-year old niece, Violet. She calls him “Unky Shawn.” I love how he was not afraid to be goofy. Pretense was never important to Shawn. It’s been said that "The measure of a man is the love and kindness he gives." Then whose life could be more of a blessing and richer than Shawn’s? His entire life was defined by love. Blessed are the pure of heart; for they shall see God. I have never seen a more pure heart.
Shawn was great at making conversation with total strangers. Whether it was a clerk at Trader Joe’s or a taxi driver in Dublin, Shawn always let you know that he saw you. Fred Rogers, of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood wisely observed “If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” Shawn embodies this truth as he reminds us all that we can bring joy and light to the world just by sharing a bit of kindness with others. I never witnessed Shawn be mean to anybody. I never heard him call anyone a name. He was gentle to his core.
2019 was supposed to be an amazing year for our family. My Mom was finally retiring, we were taking a big trip to Europe in September and Shawn and my Mom decided they would move to Colorado Springs in October. Shawn was ready to spread his wings and fly. He had lived in Kansas for twenty-eight years and was ready for new scenery and a new adventure.
The following is an excerpt from an email Shawn sent his German brother, Simon this August:
"Getting super excited about coming to Europe and Deutschland. Yesterday I officially let my company know that I will be resigning in two weeks.
Three days later I will be leaving for Ireland. So weird, scary and nervous to quit a job that I have had for 7.5 years. But it is time. I am in the process of getting into the next stage of my life. Exciting!"
The three of us flew to Dublin on September 1. Here we were – just the three of us all together again. Just like old times. Shawn and I fed goats together in the Irish Countryside. We listened to Celtic Folk Music in a pub. You can’t hide your true self very easily from others when you travel together. I learned that Shawn was such a germophobe that he traveled to Europe with his disinfecting box. I couldn’t help but tease him about that a few times on the trip. I was also reminded of how organized he was. He carefully hung up his clothes at each stop along the way. For the rest of my life, I never want to forget that week with him. Shawn and my Mom spent three more weeks in Europe after I left. Shawn visited Simon in Germany, Sophie (our Belgian Foreign Exchange Student from 1996-97) and her family in Belgium, the French Riviera, and Monaco. He spent his 34th birthday in Provence, and then visited an old friend in Portugal before returning back to Kansas. It was the truly the trip of a lifetime.
The last time I saw Shawn was in October. I came out to Kansas to say goodbye to old friends one last time before Shawn and my Mom moved to Colorado. I had the best time with him. He was so great at making time for friends and family and being PRESENT. He was so genuinely, nice. He gave the best hugs. He looked deeply into your eyes when you spoke to him. He was a great listener. He was sincere. We sat across from each other at my Mom’s apartment and ate homemade French Onion Soup and he was just my brother. Just good-old, happy, laughing easy-going Shawn. I realized not much has changed between us over the years. The relationship with a sibling is so sacred. Few people do you get to walk through life who knew you as a child, shares your DNA and can yet, be so different from you despite having the same early journeys in life. When I got home to Arizona I made a note in my gratitude journal that I was thankful for 'How happy and healthy Shawn was."
A few days later Shawn moved to Colorado Springs. He was so excited for this next phase of his life. He admired the mountain views every day. He was searching for jobs, and had just gotten one job offer and another opportunity looked promising. He was looking forward to my family and I coming for a visit Thanksgiving to visit. Forever the fun Uncle, he bought another PlayStation controller so both of my boys could play video games with him.
He lived just 31 days in Colorado Springs.
God works in mysterious ways. There was a verse from Proverbs at the entrance of the rental house in Colorado Springs, right by the front door.
"Commit to the lord whatever you do , and he will establish your plans."
Knowing Shawn would have read this, I wondered what he thought of it. He wasn’t particularly religious. This could not be God's plan though. But I am confident that Shawn’s life had a purpose. Perhaps his work in the world was done. He brought love, joy and helped so many of us have richer experiences. And that love is not lost. We have our beautiful memories. None of that has to change. I know in my heart Shawn can see us. He can see us here in this room right now. He is sorry we're hurting. That was never what he intended. Shawn's heart was so big. He wore it on his sleeve. He was never afraid to say how he felt. I admired that about him. He was not afraid to express his love. What a gift. He was honest, sincere, unpretentious, caring and down to earth. There truly is no one else like him. Knowing him was a privilege.
Earnest Hemingway once wrote, “The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed. Shawn’s ability to feel so deeply was a gift, until the very end when it became a liability.
"It's not the years we spend on Earth but the love we share while there." Shawn's life was cut short, but it was a life undoubtedly high in love. Just look around this room. See the emotion. Shawn was told he was loved more than once on his last day on Earth.
At the end of today's service, we will be playing a song by an Irish Folk Singer, Eilis Kennedy. I mentioned earlier how the three of us heard live music in Ireland. It was my Mom’s idea. She said if she was going to be in Ireland, then she wanted to sit in a pub and hear Irish music. It ended up being one of the trip highlights for all three of us. I remember as we were sitting there, in awe of the beautiful folk music, Shawn said to me "I never listen to music. But if I did, this is what I would listen to." So our closing song today is from the singer of that group who Shawn said he would like to hear more of.
Thank you again for opening your hearts to Shawn over the years. Thank you for keeping his memory alive. I encourage you all to complete a random act of kindness in Shawn’s memory this holiday season. And share kindness. Let’s always be a little kinder than necessary, because everyone we meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Thank you and God Bless.
12/14/19
SHARE OBITUARY
v.1.8.18