Hi Tio, 
Today is the last day your book is open to write in even thou it won't be up to write my thoughts and feelings I will still talk to you at night and ask for your advice. I miss you so much I love that when I would talk to you about certain situation you never judge you would say we all go through something like that it'll be ok. I love how when we were kids and teens you were a big part of us having fun you made sure we had those youthful experience I could never say I didn't enjoy my youth like some people because of you we did you let us drive with out a drive license lol we would egg cars from the roof top and you just laughed, we yelled things at the ice cream and hide, we sold experied chips to people walking by lol we were kids being kids and you courage us to have fun. You courage to make sure we always enjoy life and family and that's something I will keep forever and try to live by. I'll never say bye Tio I'll say see you later because one day we will reunite in heaven. Love you and miss you always Tio Jaime Love your niece Marybell & ChaCha

My Dear Brother,

I has been two years today, that the Lord called you to his Heavens. So many things I would like to say but not enough space. I would like to tell everyone that today one of my co-works was in my office and she looked at your picture and said "he looks like you" and that made me so happy. I said of course he does. 
Well the kids are getting bigger, and Gabriel well his becoming a man. Laura she turned 15 years old this year, and we went to church on her birthday. The Father said a prayer for her and blessed her as well, it was nice. You would be proud of each and one of them. 
This Sunday we all went to church to celebrated your eternal life with Lord and just like you would of wanted it to be we all went to Mom house. This year Mercy and Angie were not able to come, but as you know they came for the walk. It was awesome we had a big group, so this is where the healing beings. Next year they will come to celebrated with the release of Butterflies, yes we see you all the time. You and I know that not for a moment has God forsaken us, His merciful and were saved by His Grace. You will always be in our Hearts, you are the light of our world, we miss you so much. Thank you for the family you left us, your legacy will live on and on! Until we meet again keep smiling and riding high in Heaven. 
Love your sister Maria

Each day and not just this particular day I think about you, about what you would say to me that morning, evening and day. We always had some randome joke to say that we could just not stop laughing about. I know I wasn't your blood daughter but I loved how you always thought of me as your own. I will always remember you with your big smile and you calling me "flaca". Even if your not physically here you will always be in my heart and mind. You will forever be missed.

Tio Jaime,

Today marks two years since your passing, and I still miss you the same. Ironically, this week in my Society, Community, and the Individual class we will be discussing Suicide Prevention. If the opportunity comes, I will share the family's story. The time since you left us to go to your eternal home has been rough, but I can see that it has also been a period of growth and advancement for the family. It brings me great joy to see how much we are all accomplishing in our lives and I know you're cheering us on from heaven. Yesterday, my Tia Amalia posted a picture of all the family at my grandma's old house in Santa Ana; how I wish we could all go back to those times when we were all together. Someday, we will be reunited, but until then, you will continue to live on in our hearts. I love you Tio Jaime. Thank you for always being a source of joy and fun in our lives!

Ride with us in Heaven <3

My Awesome Uncle,

My life since I last wrote on here has been filled with many ups and downs, things I'm not proud of, and things that bring me lots of joy. I'm about to enter my second semester of the first year of medical school and already I feel the anxiety coming on. However I'm a lot stronger in my faith and relationship with God, so I know He'll be by my side guiding me. Despite all the activity that goes on in my life, I still think about you everyday and I find comfort in the little signs I see that say you're with us in spirit. I especially thought about you today after I saw a news report about 14 year old girl who committed suicide after being cyber bullied for a while. I shared with some girls who started an anti-bullying facebook page the website for the AFSP. I hope they can pass it along to the girl's family. I also thought about you because we just finished the holiday season and I remember the last New Years Eve we spent together. Although at first I was disappointed to not be able to go to California, I was ecstatic when Paul walked through the door into our house. I didn't think I would see him. This past week has been great having him here and at this point we are on our way to drop him off at the bus station. I'm getting sad because I'm really going to miss him. You don't realize how meaningful family time is until you haven't had it in a while. I want to cry tears of joy because my little brother seems so much stronger now. I am so hopeful for the great things he's going to do. Tio, I'll continue to focus on the positive things in my life instead of being bogged down by the negative. Thank you for watching over us all

Your loving niece

Hello My little Brother, 
There is not one day I don't miss you! 
I thank the lord everyday for giving me such a great little brother. 
Love you Jaime, 
Your one and only Big Sister 
Mercedes Claudio Ortiz

Dear Jaime,

Well I'm not saying good bye, because I will continue to journal in my light house journal. So many things have happen this year. But we managed to still be a mesh family, nothing can keep us apart. We celebrated your anniversary with beautiful white doves; it's amazing to see the good things that the Lord does. I believe that He as a plan for each and one of us. We visited you on your birthday and the sun was bright and beautiful; like Jesus said in John 8:12
  “I am the Light of the world; he who follows me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of Life.” 
This year Mercy and Angie came out to walk in your honor, but yet the most amazing thing is that our dad came to the walk, and the healing continues. I was happy to see everyone there. I hope you can see how much you are missed and loved! Not one day goes by that I don't think about you, we had so many conversations and did so many things as a family. We will continue to make the best of all Holidays, birthdays and celebrations.  Things will never be the same, but I have hope that God will heal the soul. 
I tell people, please be patient with me, I need to grieve in my own way and in my own time. Please don't take away my grief or try to fix my pain. The best thing you can do is listen to me and let me cry on your shoulders. This is part of my recovery; please pray with and for me. 
I cherish my family and the time I spend with them, I will drive or fly hours or miles to be with them. My fancy vacations are spending time with; I love my brother and sisters and sister-in-law(s), nieces and nephews. I thank the Lord everyday for a wonderful set of parents in gave me, along with all of you; they are the love of my life! So I say to all it's the journey, not destination……….. Until we meet again; keep Riding High in Heaven and to my Lord thank you for your Grace and Mercy. Amen!
 
Love you Sister Maria

Hi Tio,

I know I haven't written on her in a long time but that doesn't mean I don't think of you every day because I do I miss you so much. Sometimes I'm driving by myself and I hear your voice you saying What's Up Girlfriend lol and I just start laughing by myself in the car and I could just picture your smile and you unique laugh sometimes I feel that's what helps us get through just thinking of all the good memories we have of you and how much love you showed us. Thank you for showing us how important family is. It's so hard to write this and not tear up I know you're in a better place watching over us. I get this feeling sometimes that I feel your presence like when me and Kassidy got in the car to leave to Mercy and my Tia Chyo for Thanksgiving and out of nowhere this huge butterfly is right in front of my windshield me and Kassidy both looked at it each other and knew that was you. Kassidy misses you so much Tio she put away her Tinker Bell purse you brought her from Mexico with ChaCha engraved on it because she said she's keeping that forever and one day she'll show it to her kids and tell them about her Tio Jamie. Love you Tio Jaime miss you so much

Well my little brother i miss you so much i know you know that because your always watching over me very day it's amazing how Gods hands work and he's able to have you in all places at all time watching over all of us .You know these hoildays it's been hard  just remebering all the Thanksgivings and Christmas we spend together . As you know my lil brother i moved to a bigger place like i use to tell you i wanted to move to a bigger place and i know you were part of that move because i felt that Angels hands helping me out . You would always tell me just move it's going to be better and your going to be ok because the kids are going to help you out . You know lil brother i close my eyes and can still feel you standing there next to me like that day of the yard sale i still remember how we remebering all the yard sales we made in santa ana and how we made fun of the people that came . I feel soooooooo happy to have all these wonderful memories with you my lil brother memories that no will ever take away from me my lil brother until we meet again my lil brother in  heaven i know you will be at the gate of heaven to receive me with your hands open wide . Love you my lil brother miss you alot

Well I don't know where to begin . . . I didn't get a chance to know you very well although we once took the quads off roading with me, bobby, Brenda , Raul , and gabe . You were always very entertaing  and bobby has always told me of the funny conversations you guys would have at work lol. I think you would be happy to know your son gabe is doing good and is working at your old job right now maybe he will pick up your skill he is also getting ready to go to college . Brenda continues to wear one of your sweaters I believe in remembrance of you :) it's funny to hear bobby tell her to wash it after she's had it on for months I think it's her favorite sweater at the moment . Well you're greatly missed and it's very amazing to see how your family has come together to support one another in hard times . You have a amazing family and I'm happy to be apart of it and know you are up above watching over them . R.I.P

Hello my loving brother, you have no idea how much you're missed. There is not a day that you do not go through my mind. How I miss your screaming and telling me off. I wish, I had spent that Thursday night you asked me too. But no regrets at all, because I have lots of wonderful memories with you in my heart. 
Love you, my dear and wonderful brother Jaime Ortiz...

Dear Jaime,
First and most of all just like to tell you that I miss you. I close my eyes and see your laugh. This year we did a good job with the walk. 
I picked this wording because we all feel you close to your hearts, and well your love, passion for hores is incredible. Yet you enjoyed riding quads.
Your presence was felt, and we had a good turn out. Mercy, Angie, Amalia were there, I know that made you happy, most of all to see mom and dad, and your wife and kids and (Veronica, Christina, Muga, all the kids).Hopefully next year the entire family will walk with us. God is good and he answered all of my prayers according to His time. It was a beautiful day and a sad day, but we celebrated your enternal life with Lord. I know that one day we will see each other again in Heaven but for now I'll keep praying for your spirit to be with us forever. You loved to get together as a family and we did. We will continue to walk in your honor. God Bless and until we meet again keep Riding High in Heaven.

As time passes..... 

As time passes I find it easier to acknowledge your presents is here Spiritualy with the family and I as for me I feel your presents during hard times and during Inspirational times. For example when I visited the art Museum last month I felt your presents has I walked down the Bicycle Exhibit that moment when I feel inspire to push forward with my long term goals I feel you there helping me change my way of thinking you help me see that life is full of choices and the choices I chose to make will only benefit me in the end you help bring that light to my eyes. You are there with me during every life changing experience I feel you though it may sound crazy  it is true. I felt your present on your birthday as I experience my 1st time on set of a production shoot. I remember the message you had for me and that is what keeps me going. At times I block not you but the reality of you being gone out my mind however you know that is my way of  Coping with the fact of you not bring here. I think of you everyday in some way. Keep your sprit alive, keep guiding me and most of all keep the feathers keeping.

My Dear Brother,
Well another birthday has come and gone, but this time we celebrated your eternal life with Lord. I thank Him everyday for opening the gates of heaven to you. I could only image what it must be like being there with Him. I always wondered if you can see your children and now I know that you can not only see them, but you're constantly around them. I'm reading this book it's called Grieving God's Way and it's helped me, but I still miss you. When I see the kids, I see you and that is comforting. Last night I was tried, but I felt like God was asking me to read my book first and stop being lazy, so I did just that, too funny because I posted something on face book for your birthday, so here it goes as I start to read a few lines down it said;
 (But just as Jesus opened up the gates of heaven so must we find our way back to God. Keep your heart and soul open to God. The Bible tells us that faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen).
 It was just what I needed to be able to go to bed. So my hope lies on the Lord........until we meet again face to face, keep Riding High in Heaven. 
Love your Sister Maria

Hello My brother, 
I want you to know 1st of all " I Love you very much" 
Wishing you a Happy Happy Birthday up in heaven with my lord and all the angels. 
You are the Sun shine my dear Jaime. 
I love you, miss you very much. 
Your one and only Big Sister 
Mercedes Claudio Ortiz

Before I start, I want to say that I will continue to miss you until the day we meet again in heaven.
It has been a long time since I last wrote in your guest book and I have been meaning to but honestly I couldn't find the courage to do it, I kept talking myself out of it, just so I will not be reminded that it is not a dream that it is all real and that it is time I stop fearing grief.  You know Jaime in the last few weeks I have learned so much about grief and its process through the teachings of Rick Warren the pastor for Saddleback church in Lakeforest.  I remember that right after you left to be with God, grief seemed so painful and it only seems to wear me out and the only way I could find myself grieving for you was in loneliness crying out to God and insisting on trying to know why. I learned from Pastor Rick's lesson that loss is unavoidable but grief is a choice and that grief is the key to my spiritual growth and that I must not be afraid to grief because even though it is a very painful emotion it is also the most helpful.  I now understand that God grieves with me. I remember when people would tell me “you soon will learn to move forward and will get over it”, those words seemed so far from my mind because I couldn't understand how anyone may get over it, it seemed the impossible, but God gave me the answer that I was so longing for, He does not want me to get over it, God wants me to get through it because your passing will always be part of my life story. It is August 20, 2013, a little past midnight here in Texas and I am here in my kitchen writing this thinking it is your 42nd birthday and I tell myself well I want Jaime to know that I no longer fear grief, I finally started the process and the best part of it is that God is grieving with me and God has planted this seed of HOPE in my soul that one day when it is my turn to go home, I will see YOU Jaime ready to receive me with joy and arms wide open saying you are finally home sister.  Last, I want to say I love you very much little brother!

My Dear Brother, I miss you more then my words and heart ache. The hardes thing I could do is to visit your site. People might think its selfish of me, but they will never understand what I'm going through. There's days that I get real dipress and would rather go with you but then for some reason you ether pop into my mind or your beautiful butterfly appears. I know it's your way of saying you love me and miss me too. I still wish I could of taken what ever pain you had away. I still wish that I could be a 10yeat old just to have you here with us. I love you brother , I miss you brother , I want you back on earth . I want to tell you I'm sorry for what ever wrong I did or for what ever I didn't do, I will always carry you in my heart. Love you brother , love you Jaime, love you my partner in the youngest kids of the Ortiz. Your baby Sister Christina

Dear Jaime,
It's being a long time since I've wrote in your book, but as you may already know I love writing in my journal the Lighthouse is a reminder that ( it's not the destination, but the journey in life that account). I received a message from Joel Osteen, I believe that God put things in our path for a reason; (Mark 11:25). “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses”. Some said it like this; “Forgiveness is setting the prisoner free and realizing the prisoner was you. I guess sometime we have to forgive those who really make us mad, when they do the dumbest things.  Nathan said to me the other day, Chayo if my Tio Jaime was here we would be at his house right and the tears came down, and I said of course where else would we be. I get this anxiety attack , I just want to scream out your name so loud that you'll say (what I'm here, I'm not deaf), sometimes I just drive and drive and Nathan will ask Chayo where are we going I just tell him I don't know. But in my mind I hoping to find you, I know you are in a better place and that you are always with us. My dad's birthday is coming up, I was praying that you would whisper a little something in his ear; well you know what I mean. Well until we meet at the gates of Heaven keep riding high with that smile! Father in heaven thank you for all that you do and for the amazing love!

Love your Sister Maria Ortiz

Hello My brother, 
It's been a long time since I have wrote, but there is not one day that goes by that I don't think about you! talk to you in the morning. I know your at peace but that doesn't keep me from missing you! I know it's time to go visit you in California! even though I know your with me everyday. There is so much I can talk to you about but I know you can see the things that are happening. 
Now I know how much love you really  would give to your family and all of us. How you opened your home to so many of our family's. I really miss you Jaime!  
" You have the ability to give so much love, appreciation, understanding, and happiness to so many people every single day" This is something you did Jaime. 
I love you my brother, miss you very much. 
Your one and only big sister, 
Mercedes Claudio Ortiz

Hi Jaime,
Well just like to thank the Lord for a great time in Portland Oregon the weather was great;give and take it was a bit cold. Everytime we throught we weren't going to be able to sight see, well you already know. The sun and blue sky's came out of no where. God is faithful and He said in John 16:24 Ask in the name of His Son and it will be given to you. At one point Mercy said hey there's Jaime and I knew my prayers were answered. It was beautiful and the weather was great, but most of all it was nice to see Big Mercy happy and spend sometime with her and Claudia, Francisco, Cherish. I got to see my first Lighthouse and that is the beginning I will continue on my journey....Thank you Lord for your precious Son. Until we meet at the gates of Heaven keep Riding High brother. We all miss and love you always.
Your Sister Maria

My Dear Brother,
It's been a long time since I've wrote on your book. As you may know I'm always writing in my journal. We are going to visit Mercy and I'm praying we get good weather, give and take a little cold but sunny. If you were here things would be different. I try to make the best of things and leave the rest to the Lord. 
Like I said It's not the destination; 
It's the journey.”
It means to me that it's not about where you land, rather what you learned along the way. The beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday.” 
So as my journey continues, I will continue to test these lessons and add to this list. The bucket list of destinations will grow, but I know it's the journey where the adventure and the lessons lie. I only pray the journey continues for a long time. Either way I know I'll enjoy the ride........So keep Riding in Heaven and until we meet at the gate of Heaven, I miss and love you.
Your Sister Maria Ortiz

My dear brother Jaime, 
There is not one day I dont think of you! I miss you very much. It has been one year and 1 month since you left us, there are so many days when I wish I could hear your voice calling me and talking on the phone for hours. There is alot going on as you know. I know you are in my heart and you are with us in spirit. Miss you my dear brother!
Love you Jamie, 
Your one and only Big sister, 
Mercedes Claudio Ortiz

Dear Brother,
Well it feels like a long time since I've written on your guest book. But I as you may already know I have been journaling in my lighthouse journal. Yesterday was Michael birthday and I am sure your present was felt. This weekend we are going to the San Juan Capistrano Mission, I thought it would be a fun time for the kids; I've been praying for good weather. We were thinking about taking the train, to make it an adventure for the kids. If you have a little pull up there in Heaven, ask my Dear Lord to grant us with good weather. I will forever remember each and one of your children's births, and of course the last one was more amazing. I clearly remember you calling dad and ask what should you name the baby and he said Jaime of course. He got it on the dot, the little one looks just like you. The other funny thing was when the secretary, said boy you look pretty good for someone who is 15 years older then your little brother. I thought for a second wow! I'm 15 years older? And said no I'm 6 years old, and you could not stop laughing. You always found a way to joke about everything and made people love you for that. That is the one thing I miss about you the most; your amazing laugh that made faces turn. 
Until we meet in the gate of Heaven keep a sharp eye on all of us from your kids/wife to your siblings, nieces, nephews......mom and dad. Thank you Lord for all that you do!
Love your Sister Maria

Hello my little Brother, 
We came back on Monday (2/4/2013) 
I have allways felt in my heart that you are at peace and have no more pain. I seen our father looking alittle better in health and spirit and our mother also feeling well. Mariebell and Laura and the boys are also doing alittle better, but they miss you alot. Gabriel is going through so much right now. Please ask our Lord to look over him day and night. Miss you Jaime, Lots of love 
Your one and only Big sister,
Mercedes Claudio Ortiz

Well Jaime,
Today is one of the sadness day for me. I ask God every single day to help me find my purpose here on earth and  I think I know what it is. Some mighted have thought I did the wrong think, but in my heart I believe I did the right thing. Today I asked God to give me strength and to be a good steward, of His word. The last thing I would ever do is hurt my family. God is rock and family is my foundation. I just like to tell you I miss and love you little brother. When my divne appointment with Lord comes, the angels will sing then you and I will dance with God; but until then keep your eyes on us.
Your sister Maria

Missing you Tio
you were a very important person in our lives
you helped us through the good and the bad made us laugh with your jokes and made us smile with your beautiful smile
You spoke with so much happiness in your voice 
your laugher was one of a kind irreplaceable and your smile spoke for its self…
so why couldn't I help you, why couldn't u stay those where the two question I kept asking myself but I know now that you are in a better place with our Lord…
I'm sorry Tio Jamie I didn't have a chance to tell you how much I loved you 
I will miss you every day until we meet again at the gates of heaven…Love you Marybell

Well my little brother; you are in heaven with our older brother, I sit here thinking about all the wonderful times we had together.  It has taken me some time in writing my sincere feeling; this has been very hard for me to do.  These words come from the bottom to the top of my heart.  If you only knew how hard it is for me to even start.  You know how we were thought by dad to always be strong and be the men we are raised to be!  Well this is the part in my life I was never prepared or even in a million years imagine I would be going through this.  There is not a day that I don't think about you.  You are always on my mind.  I see the great moments we had together and believe me there were many (my little brother).  Brother the other day I took Gabriel with me to help me out with a job and I felt as I was starting all over again with you; Gabriel the same age when you started learning the trade.  I can see the ambition in him to follow in your footsteps.  He is not afraid to take a challenge, I was telling him how I used to tell you if it isn't right, make it right.  I run into a lot of friends and co-workers from our industry that we have worked throughout the years, one of the great things they all have to say; you always did a hell of a Great Job!  They always reminisce how you would make them laugh all the time.  Well my brother from the south to the north of California there isn't a city I don't see your work; besides the out of state jobs you did.  You have left me with some great memories for all the wonderful things you did and all the ones we did together.  I can go on and on and tell stories after stories of the great talent God gave you with your hands and brains.  But of all he gave me a wonderful brother.  Well my brother I want you to know I will always be here for your kids in any way that I can be of any help to them.  Well my brother you know whenever me and Sonia are driving we are talking about all the good, the sad, and the funny moments we spent together.  But most of all the memories you left us!  We will always remember your great smile!  Well my little brother I will now let you go so you can ride high in heaven and rest in peace and feel no pain.  We shall meet some day and laugh again.  I love you, from your big brother

My dear Jaime, year has past since you left us to be in a place of joy with our lord I know in my heart you are at so much peace. Your one and only big sister lots of love allways

I miss you more than yesterday and hold onto this wonderful hope in the Lord that we will meet again in heaven and walk the streets of gold together laughing and rejoicing in the Lord's kingdom.  Your spirit of good will and laughter will always live in me and I will say to my Lord thank you for letting me part of Jaime's life.  I will never see this as a good by but as a “see you later little brother”.  I love you very much and miss you my little brother.  I see you finally decided to bring yourself to our older sisters by dream.  I still remember the last dream I had with you was when you whisper in my ear I'm here and I am doing good and with a smile in your face you whispered into my ear again and told me to give a speech to the family at your celebration of life ceremony. In this dream I saw you seating on a balcony wearing a white t-shirt and blue jeans looking down at us while I was giving the speech and you had this big smile filled with peace and joy. When I woke up from my dream I could not remember the exact words you whispered into my ear, so I ask the Lord to please reveal them to me, so He did, you said “Tell them to find their strength in the Lord that He will not forsake them and in the mean time know the Lord loves you all and the Angels are watching over you and let your spirit be guided by the Lord's love and faith, see you later!”  Jaime as I write this on your legacy book I realized that it is God's purpose for me to write it because He wants our love one to know of His amazing love.  “See you later”.

Jaime, there are so many things I didn't say when you where here with us.  You were and will always be in our hearts.  There are so many good memories, I can still remember when we all rushed to meet Gabriel how excited we were and to see him what a handsome boy I can still remember you saying he looks like me huh Sonia!  Yes indeed he does look a lot like you.  You made some gorgeous babies.  Gabriel, Michael, Elias and Little Jaime!  Wow!  And Laura is very part of you, she is a beautiful girl and she loves you!  You are her father that guided her and gave the support of a father.  God prepared you to show them to be strong and they know they have the support and love of all the family!  Your brother wants me to tell you he finally can let go of what he was feeling not knowing why?   We all know why because the lord said it is your time Jaime!  How lucky are you to be with our our precious father!  He wants you to know he was very fortunate to have his little brother work with him; he admires the legacy you have left behind! Please tell my Tito and Tita we love and miss them so much.  Keep us safe!  I know someday we all will see each other again! We love you and miss you; Rest in peace that we will be here for your family!  Your brother Elias and your sister in law Sonia. (Brenda, Bobby, and Katie always remember Uncle Jaime).

My Dear Tio Jaime,

I can't believe a year has already passed since you left us for Heaven. As you know, this year has been a roller coaster, several ups and downs, losses and gains, but despite the sorrows I still trust in God's Plan for our lives. This afternoon I was reading "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren and one set of statements stood out to me, "Because God made you for a reason, he also decided when you would be born and how long you would live. He planned the days of your life in advance, choosing the exact time of your birth and death." Those lines go along with Psalm 139:16. That's why I no longer question why you had to leave us. I know God gave you 40 wonderful years with the family and 21 years of my life, to share your amazing self; to bring us laughter, joy, advice, help, and love; after then, it was time for you to return to your eternal home. The legacy you leave behind, Tio Jaime, is one of a fervency for life. You always lived your life passionately and with joy, despite the pain you felt inside. I know everyone in our family can agree that memories of the happiness and love you brought us will live on in our hearts forever. You may have left us physically, but you will always live amongst us spiritually. 

Anytime I really miss, I'll look at your pictures and smile, because I know that's what you would want. I'm glad we have the video of Paul's 2nd birthday to view since it reminds us what a silly person you were. The ability to hear your laughter and see you hold me when I was a little girl, brings so much comfort to my heart. I really do miss you Tio, and I will always love you <3

 
He took his own life at the age of 40
No one knew how much he was truly hurting
Left a young man to wonder why he never got that call 
The family doesn't understand 
Digging deep for answer 
Letting his love ones know he comes around 
With rainbows and feathers
He is HAPPY 
Painless days

Good Morning Jaime,
First and most I just like to say I love and miss with all my heart. Soon the guest book will be closed, but that doesn't mean that I will stop writing. I have a journal, which I started but have not written on it for a long time. I thank God everyday for His blessing, but most all for your constant presence. Thank you for all things you help us with and for the time that we got to spend with you; but most of all thank you for precious jewels you left us with, your children will be guarded with the presence of our Dear Lord and surrounded by family who loves and will always be there for them. So until we meet again at the gates of Heaven; keep riding high and dancing in those amazing boots.
Love your Sister

Good morning Jaime,
Here I'm again, I didn't see the last message I wrote last night. But our crazy sister Amalia called me yesterday morning all excited. She said you came to her in a dream, and you were happy; and you had a new truck, it was a Chev silverado, what happen with Ford? Well a guess it doesn't matter she was "SO HAPPY". Because she thought that you were going to loud at her, she is funny. Well have to get back to work; so until we meet again I will continue to write. Love and Miss you always.
Your Sister

Jaime,
I love this picture it has the a Lighthouse,a butterfly, doves and the sky it bright. I can only image how beautiful Heaven is and how amazing it is to be with the Lord. Not one day goes by that your not missed, but I believe that some day we will meet in Heaven, and have eternal life with the Lord. So until then keep riding high and dance away in your boots. Love your Sis

Hi my Dear Brother,
Well as you my already know, I'm just sitting here, thinking about Monday. I just pray that the lght of God shines on us that day. Boy, it's getting late and I need to get ready for bed. Love and miss you.
Your Sister

Hello My Brother, 
I was really pleased yesterday morning (1/20/213) After almost 1 year I finaly had a dream with you Jaime, " You were smiling just like when I would see you when I came home!" You were wearing a white shirt with jeans. I did'nt realize it till about a couple minutes later and I woke up and told me self " Oh my God I just had a dream with Jaime!" after all this time! it was something I had been waiting for a long time to see your presence in my dream! my brother! I will be visiting you January, 27th, 2013. I'm getting excited and nervous. 
Psalm 91: He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortess, my God, in whom I trust"
I've had this Psalm highlighted from many years ago, when I first starting going through so many hard times with Jr and when reading it, it helps to reflect that only god can help get me through the hards times" well my brother, I miss you very much and love you very much. I will see you soon, 
Your one and only Big Sister, 
Mercedes Claudio

Hi Tio,
I haven't wrote in here for a while now. But I speak to you every day and you know I love you and miss you. I know you know we miss you with all our heart and how much we would give to hear you laugh again. Kassidy been very emotional about you I was putting gas in the car and I get in I notice she's crying I ask her why then I notice she holding your picture and she tells me I miss my Tio Jamie and just two days after that were walking to the car I notice her crying again and looking at the sky and she tells me again how much she misses you. Tio we all miss you so much there's not a day that's doesn't go by that we don't think about I try to stay strong and not cry but its hard and the tears just follow right out. Tio keep watching over us and keep giving us the strength to stay strong. I love you Tio

Good Morning Brother, 
Well the time is getting closer and again I'm having anxiety about your celebration of life. The comfort I get is that my Dear Lord always comes through....John 16:24. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
Not one day goes by that we don't think about you, I know that you are watching us from Heaven. Your boys are getting bigger and Gabriel I know that his going to be an awesome big brother. I guess I don't have to tell you how much we LOVE, MISS you and things will never be the same. You now have enternal life with the Lord and that is amazing He said in John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life".
Well until we meet again at the gates of Heaven keep riding high and make your presence know to us.
Love Your Sister Maria

Good morning my brother, 
Happy New Year January,1,2013 Up in Heaven... I wanted to tell you I miss you very much & Love you very much. I will allways keep you in my mind and spirit. May the power of our Lord keep us all strong and keep us with faith everyday that we will meet up with you some day and we will all be dancing to a New Year up there with you, Love you and miss you My dear little brother, 
Your one and only big sister, 
Mercedes Claudio Ortiz

Good Morning My Dear Little Brother,
Well Happy Year!!! I guess... I love you and miss you. I pray that this year will be a Healing in process year. Keep Riding High Heaven and dancing with your Boots! Until we meet again tell my Dear Lord thank you for His grace and mercy.
Love and Miss you always,
Your Sister Maria

Hi little brother,
I'm a little sad today my pastor's wife Pastor Rochelle Nieman passed on to be with our Lord. I'm sure you all had a great celebration up in heaven for her. Brother I am not sad because she has gone up to heaven because after all she is with our great Lord in beautiful heaven not suffering but I am sad because we will miss her just like we miss you every day. If you see her around tell her I say hi and thank you for being a wonderful pastor.  Well this year I'm staying home for the New Year's Eve celebration not going back home to my mom's, anyway my mom and dad decided to spend New Year's Eve in Rosarito.  I will go next month for a few days and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone. What a year 2012 has been there has been plenty of sad moments and great moments to. Our Lord wants us to stay focus on the great moments that is what Carlos tells me. Like the moment that the Lord helped Paul overcome his childhood distress and Becky being accepted to medical school. My pastors also had two great moments in their lives this year, their first two grandchildren born this year. I want to end this 2012 thinking of you smiling down at us and saying love you and miss you but remember I will see you all again so do not be sad and stay focus on the positive things and keep you hope in the Lord that he will not forsake you. “Miss you more today than yesterday”.

Hello Jaime, 
I was thinking last year December,11,2011 was the last time I seen you in person, I'll never forget the look in your face that day, you look so so sad. I told you two times before I left that day " God Bless you" I would of never thought that would be the last day the last time I would see you! It has been very emotional month for me. " I miss you very much " I cry. All I want this Christmas is for you to be with Gabriel and Laura and Micheal, Lil Elias and your Baby Boy Jaime and Maribel and My DAD & MOM. That reminds me I talk to my dad today (12/23/12) and he told me he had went to go visit you, and he say's to me " All I want is for My SON to be here with me! " My dad miss's you very much. I talk to Chris this week and Elias, we are feeling the same. I ask my lord to give us all the courage and the strength and peace in these day's to come, for you to be with us in spirit as you allways are, 
Love you Jaime, 
Your one and Only Big Sister 
Mercedes Claudio Ortiz

My Little Brother,
Well Christmas is almost here, and it's been hard. As you already know, I will always cherrish the memories when we spended Christmas at your house. Just seen how excitied you were to open your gifts makes me happy. You were the glue to us...All want for Christmas is for you to be with the kids. Little Jaime is so cutie he follows my dad around and somehow I think you have something to do with that. The kids and Maribel will make it through because you will continue to provided for them and the Grace of God will be around for a long time. I believe that my Dear Lord will allow you to always be with them and that is a gift of it's own. Merry Christmas!
Love you Brother your Sister Maria

“Howdy there cowboy”. I'm sure you remember that when I would call you.  I know that by now you know Becky was accepted to medical school.  Brother I know you see all the great things God is doing and is going to do in our children's lives. I believe that our awesome heavenly father will continue His great work in them. Paul is doing a lot better in school, he is very focus and I tell him mijo do not give up and stay focus on the light, the obstacles you face may make you feel it is too dark but you must embrace the hope in God that He will lead you all the way through.  I'm going home next month, can't wait to see everyone, my mom, dad, Elias, Gabriel, and give your little ones a BIG hug and kiss. It is going to be for a few days. I heard someone say that when you stop thinking of someone you have lost that is when they are truly dead. I believe our Lord sent those words to me because he wants me to know that it is ok to think of you every day because that will keep your spirit alive in me.  It is okay for me to cry and smile at the smile time when I imagine you in heaven.  I am truly going to miss you this Christmas but that is okay because I know one day we are going to spending millions and millions of Christmas together in heaven.
“Miss you more today than yesterday my little brother”.

Hi Tio, I know I haven't wrote on here but I do talk to you every day. I miss you and love you thank you for blessing us and giving us the strength that we need. I remember when you would tell me to put Kassidy in modeling or something in acting that you though she could make it cause you said she has that one thing that's so special. I'm sure you know this cause I'm sure you were there when that lady came up to her at Target and invited her to the Disney audition and told she thought she would be perfect for it just like you use to tell that she would be prefect for a Disney show of her own lol only that she still really shy so she passed on the offer hopefully I could help get that confidence Tio. We miss you dearly and even though you're not here physically we know you spirit is here with us. I love you…

Hi Jaime, everyday that pass I thank the lord for giving us all 1 more day of life on the earth, but there is not one day that pass and we are not thinking of you my brother, we all miss you very very very much. I can feel it in the air this month you are missing us all too! My wish to  Santa Clus is may you come in to our dreams on ChristmasDay! You will be flying high in the sky with Santa

My Lil Brother ,
I miss you soooooo much these hoilday . But i know your watching over us and taking care of us please keep giving us the strength that we need to contuine lil brother . love you miss you alot

Hi Tio!!

I feel your love and support for us all everyday. I could not be more thankful to God for the strength he has endowed on us all to cope with your death. You may not be with us physically, but you're always there in our hearts. As you know, today was a day of exciting news for me. I was accepted to medical school. I can't help thinking that you have had a role in the positive events that members of the family have been encountering. You're our guardian angel :-) I know you are rejoicing in Heaven with all the angels, for me. Thank you so much for your love and support. I'm going to make you proud!!! I love you Tio!!!

Good Morning Little Brother,
Well it's been a few weeks since I've wrote on your journal. But it's been hard for me these last few weeks, with the Holidays coming. Though it seem from the outside that I'm doing well; in the inside I'm having a hard time dealing with this. Well as you may we did the Out of the Darkness Walk. I know you were there in spirit and this is something you wanted us to do. I made myself a promise that I will continue on this journey. I love the name you picked "Riding High in Heaven", somehow Mercy new that was you. I miss talking to you, and though I know that you are constanly listening to me, I like to hear your voice just one more time. 
Well Thanksgiving is coming up and all I can think about is our last Thanksgiving at your house and like to think you would wanted all of us together again. I will always remember our last Christmas at your house, the year you took us in with open arms. If someone ask me right now what would I like for Christmas; my answer would be (all I want for Christmas is my Jaime). So with that being said I hope the Lord and angels will guide you home with us. So until we meet again, I pray that your spirit will always be with us. Happy Thanksgiving! Love your sister Maria.

Hi little brother I know it has been awhile since I wrote on here and even to read the beautiful things.  The truth is that it is still very hard to intake the thought of you not being here physically.   I was thinking today what I will say on Thanksgiving Day and the first thing that came into my mind is thank our Lord for having you in heaven and giving thanks for this profound hope that I will see you in heaven riding a beautiful horse.  I cannot wait to pull out a copy of what you wrote on Carlos' facebook last Thanksgiving
“Big Hug to my sister”. Oh my dear God knows how hard this fight has been for us all and the holidays do not make it any easier.  Lately I have find myself fighting off thinking of you, just so I can believe that maybe I just have not heard from you because you have been very busy at work and with the family.  Elias says is just my way of coping. I love you very much my little brother and I miss you more today than yesterday.

Hi Dear Brother,

I saw your big star last night, and I knew then that you are with us all. Well were not going to the desert as you may already know. This weekend we are walking in your honor, it's through the AFSP the walk is; Out of The Darkness for Suicide Prevention. This is were the healing beings, and we can start making a difference. I pray that my Dear Lord will give us all some comfort and that we can walk as a family. Well I know you'll be there in spirit with us, so until we meet again. You'll be Riding High in Heaven as we walk with you. Love and Miss you with my heart....Your Sister Maria

Hello my brother, 
Well we are getting close to the end month October 2012, how time pass's bye. No matter what happens I can not forget you are not here with us in person, but spiritualy you are here and in our hearts! I will be visiting you soon Jaime, 
Love you, 
Your one and only Big sister, 
Mercedes Claudio Oritz

Hi Jaime,

I love you brother, today is your son Gabriel birthday; Hope your present will be reveled to him. God Bless! and until we meet again. Love your Sister Maria

Hello My Brother, 
It's been sometime, but belive me I think of you everyday. I've been having a hard time the last couple of days. There has been some great things that have happend and other things that make me sad to know how we function in this world. I just want you to be happy up in heaven. Don't worry about this world. You know the hardest thing for me is looking at your picture and it hits me hard your not here! You know I have never had a dream with you! why don't you show up in my dreams? Well Jaime I'm going to visit you Next month November. Jr is going home on November,5th I want you to please talk to my lord up in heaven to please look over him, its not going to be easy for him, because he has been in there 4 years. Jaime please look over my son. I miss you and love you very much. 
Your One and Only Big Sister, 
Mercedes Claudio Ortiz

Hi Little Brother,
Not one day goes by that I don't think of you........WOW! It's amazing how life is, it makes me crying every time I see the kids do something funny or new; because I wish that you were here. I picture you laughing and then acting like your mad at them for what they did. And laughing without them seeing you. An then I remember that my Dear Lord gave us the privilage of still having your spirit and presents with us. Believing there's a heaven and a God is what keeps me going and that oneday I will see you again......but until then I just want to tell you that I love and miss you. I only pray that my Lord and you will always watch over all of us. Riding high, and flying free, with soft wings!
Love your Sister Maria

My little brother,

I just wanted to scream out “come home”. I miss talking to you and seeing you work in the garage. You were right about a lot of things, and people. I promised you that I would always be there for you and your family and will continue to do so. Everyday I try to look at life in a positive way; I know there a purpose in life for all of us. I know you're in a better place and that one day I will see you again. Your love is what guides me through the day and knowing that riding high with my Dear Lord is what makes me look forward to the day. I went to church last weekend and one of the passages that they talked about was; 
Acts 14:22 “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God.”
So until we meet again, keep watching over us. Love your sister Maria

My dear little brother how I miss YOU,
 I have this calendar (Daily thoughts) on my desk that was given to me Almost 21 years ago. I read two separate passages this month, one said that in heaven we'll have a face to face exclusive relationship with our Savior and the other says that when the believer dies, the body goes into the grave; the soul and spirit go immediately to be with Lord Jesus awaiting the body's resurrection, when they're joined together to be forever with the Lord in eternal bliss. As you know already the family is going through many obstacles but never than less fighting the good fight my little brother. The passage I read today states I need a faith that nothing can shake, I do not know why; I can endure with a faith like that- even if I never find out why. Our Lord's word says He will never leave us nor forsake us. Thank YOU my little brother for sharing YOUR love with us and I know YOU are smiling down from heaven at us and every day, until I see YOU again I will live my life with this faith that I will see YOU in heaven with all our love ones and friends. I love YOU!

OBITUARY

Jaime Ortiz

August 20, 1971 – January 28, 2012

Montecito Memorial Park and Mortuary

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