Michael Bruce Herlihy

My amazing husband, Michael, was the fourth child born to Bruce Bernard and Kathrine Martha Herlihy on November 28, 1954. He had two older sisters, Phyllis and Janice, an older brother, George, and a younger sister, Theresa. He grew up in Santa Fe Springs, California in a small two-bedroom home filled with love and laughter. I didn’t meet Michael until 19 years later, but during our wonderful years together, he shared many childhood stories, as did his brothers and sisters.

Bruce and Katie were devout Catholics and they raised their 5 children with the morals and teachings of the Catholic Church, with Catholic school being a must despite their meager wages. Michael told me that he never told his mother that he was bored, because if he did, she would put a shovel in his hand and sent him outside to pull weeds from the garden. All the children were expected to help each night with dinner, either setting or clearing the table or washing or drying the dishes. Then when the nightly chores were completed, the family knelt down together to say the rosary.

Like most bothers and sisters, they weren’t always loving and caring to each other. He shared with me that his older brother, George, would terrorize and tease him. Him being younger, he wouldn’t get back at George, instead he would terrorize and tease his younger sister, Terri. One story that I remember him telling me was the time that he was teasing Terri with June bugs. He had already put a couple of bugs down her pants and was chasing her with another. Terri ran screaming into the house from the backyard. Not knowing that her brother was close behind, she slammed the door behind her and it hit is bare big toe and tore off the toenail. OUCH!

Sometimes Mike would just terrorize himself. He remembered a time when he had to go out and feed the chickens that Terri was suppose to have feed. He was so angry with her that he shoved a pitchfork into the ground. OUCH! The pitchfork went into the top of his foot. Terri won again!

Then there were those moments that he would terrorize or just plain annoy his father. He and his friends would play a game called Chicken. This game was played by throwing a sharp knife into the air and then standing with eyes shut, head down, and arms held tightly to his side while the knife landed. Luckily it never hit him. His dad reminded him of not only how lucky he was but how incredible stupid the game was. Then there was the time during Christmas vacation when he, George, and their friends collected the Christmas trees left out on the curb and drug them to their backyard to build a fort. For those of you who knew Mike’s father well, you can imagine what his reaction was when he came home from work that evening.

But his young life didn’t just consist of those terrorizing and annoying moments. He shared many memories with me about the trips and vacations his family took, like the trips across the U.S. to visit family in Minnesota, the family camping or hiking trips in the mountains, spending time with his aunts, or just going for a Sunday drive.

Mike, like the rest of the his brothers and sisters, attended Catholic school at Saint Pius the X until eighth grade and then went to Santa Fe High School. He didn’t necessary like school but enjoyed the school life. And again Terri won when she would inform her mom while riding the bus to her own school she saw Mike riding his bike away from his school. After high school he attended Los Angeles Technical School to study refrigeration and air conditioning and worked as a cook at McDonalds in Downey. This is where Mike and my life began together.

I was the night manager at McDonalds and Mike was the grill cook. The first thing that the other girls and I noticed about Mike is that he was quiet and shy. We soon talked him into taking one of the girls out on a date that liked him. Little did I know, he had been saving money and working up the nerve to ask me out. But being the kind-hearted gentlemen that he was, he finally agreed to take her out on a date to Magic Mountain. It was Halloween soon after his date and the night crew attended a party to celebrate the occasion. It was there and at the restaurant afterwards that we got together. Needless to say, the other girl was a bit hurt and disappointed but I believe that our Lord had other plans for us, and apparently for her.

Having minimum wage jobs our dates were not lavish ones but we were content on just being together. Many dates were spent attending family and friends’ get-togethers for holidays, birthdays, or just hanging out somewhere. I remember the first time I met his parents the whole family was there. I wore a white pantsuit, and during dinner I fed my clothes when the roast I was cutting into flew off my plate and into my lap. Geez, I was so embarrassed.

Other dates were spent going to the river, Lake Perris, and Buena Vista. His brother had a boat and we had many happy memories of riding in or skiing behind George’s boat. Another favorite and cheap date that we did a lot was going to the drive-in. A large pepperoni pizza and a six-pack of beer along with a few good movies is all we needed to have a romantic date.

By 1976 we were engaged and were married the following year on February 19, 1977 at Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic Church. We had a big ole Italian wedding with every family and extended family member on both sides in attendance. We spent our honeymoon at the Bahia Hotel in San Diego. Then we settled in an apartment in Norwalk were his sister Janice lived.

Our greatest accomplishments in life were our three daughters, Rachelle Denee, Rebecca Anne, and Alyssa Danielle. Mike was a good daddy, always lending a helping hand with diaper changing, feeding, homework (numerous science projects and those stupid stories using all 50 spelling words), and running to the store to by those endless feminine products. He attended numerous school functions, sports games and dance recitals, although over the years he could be seen sleeping in the audience rather than watching them perform at the recitals. He always put us first and we spent a lot of time taking family vacations and spending time with family during get-togethers and holiday celebrations. Mike loved camping and water sports, although many times he only spent part of the time with us because he was dedicated to his business and wanted to provide well for his family. Yep that was Mike, putting others’ happiness first before his own.

I remember our many trips to Buena Vista, Yosemite, and Shaver Lake with his brother George’s family, other family members, and friends. At Buena Vista it wasn’t a trip without Mike and George running to Taft to get parts for George’s boat. One time we all still laugh about is when Mike was driving George’s boat, George was skiing, and his sister Phyllis was spotting. As we sat on the shore watching them go by we couldn’t believe how fast Mike was driving. They came around a second time and George finally let go and glided to shore. When Mike and Phyllis brought the boat to shore, George asked why in the world they were driving so fast. Mike responded, “Phyllis told be you wanted to go faster.” “Faster!” George yelled, “I was motioning to her for you to go slower!” We all laughed hysterically while Phyllis apologized over and over again.

Then there was the “blue magooing” chore. Mike and George continually emptied the trailers’ holding tanks just so their family could shower daily because a river or a lake just wouldn’t do. Donna and I always joked about buying them “Uncle Eddie hats” just to wear while performing the never-ending chore because “the shitter’s full”.

Time seemed to fly by and soon he was giving driving lessons to the girls because it made me too nervous. Surprisingly only one accident occurred when Rachelle ran my little Nissan into our garage. Rachelle blamed her dad because he turned the wheel into the garage. Mike explained that after she didn’t break it was better that she ran into our garage rather than our neighbor’s. He was the proud daddy at all their graduations, both high school and college, and handsomely walked them down the aisle in their weddings.

The birth of our grandsons brought even more joy to our lives. He spoiled them endlessly and enjoyed sitting and cuddling with them. We always counted on him to give them naps, although they usually put him to sleep and they would soon sneak away. I would send him to Stater Brothers to buy a few needed items, and he would always come back with several bags of junk food and drinks commenting, “It’s for the boys.” You could always see one of the grandsons along side of him while he was working outside on the car, in the yard, or fixing something around the house. He even chose to take Dominic and Nathan on our Maui vacation. The grandsons will miss him greatly but the memories of him will last their lifetime. And for those future grandbabies, those precious memories will be shared so they too will know him.

Mike and I finally took time for ourselves during the last few years we were together. We took a four day cruise to Catalina Island and Ensenada, and a road trip through the southwestern part of the United States visiting amazing sites in Arizona, Carlsbad Caverns, Loretto Chapel, Arches National Park, and the Grand Canyon just to name a few. We even had the opportunity to visit some friends in Colorado on that trip.

We spent an amazing 42 years together. Mike was a loving and caring husband, father, and grandfather. Along with his mom, his brothers, sisters, and numerous nieces and nephews, and friends we will miss him dearly. He touched our lives with love and laughter. And we wait for the day that we will meet again in paradise.