Jadan Hayel Abbassi

Written and read by his daughters, Lubna and Sonja

CHAPTER ONE: THE ROADS HE WALKED - read by Lubna

“How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?”

“The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind.”

Baba loved Bob Dylan, and his lyrics are a good way to begin the story of his life.

A true legend, he was an intelligent cultured man with the best sense of humor who lived for his family & the Church. He had a smile that lit up any room. Life will never be the same without his laughter, his jokes, his politically incorrect humor, and his unfiltered, carefree spirit.

If you knew my father, you know he had the most extraordinary life, full of hardship & adventure. He was a curious explorer that valued higher education and free thinking, an intellect. In his teen years, he was the Chairman of the World Youth anticommunist league in Texas. He was a natural born leader. He was loud and proud about his stance on politics; the news was the background audio in our house.

He came to this country from Mafraq, Jordan at 18, the oldest boy of 9 kids, the first to leave Jordan and pave the way for his family to follow. He put himself through college & medical school. Never asking his father for help, just eager to learn & to live in this beautiful country. A Texan family welcomed him as a foreign-exchange student and became a second family to him—and, in time, to us. He assimilated and became a real Texan cowboy who loved old western movies and cowboy boots. Rocking out at Dylan’s concerts, he was in his element. A few years ago, we were blessed to experience our first Bob Dylan concert together in queens, NY, an unforgettable time.

He attended college at Texas Wesleyan. He didn’t have money to finish paying his tuition and therefore was unable to walk at graduation & accept his diploma. He persuaded the school to let him receive a blank diploma so his father & his family could see him cross the stage; he worked countless jobs to later pay his tuition.

That was Baba: if the road did not open for him, he found a way forward.

The next road led to Mexico, where he studied medicine in Guadalajara and learned the language.

He completed his residency at Mount Sinai in New York City. With little sleep, no work hour regulations, and barely a dime in his pocket, he still called those years “a time to live.”

His first job after residency was chief of anesthesiology in Texas; shortly after he called his accountant to ask if he could finally buy a TV. He laughed and said, “Dr. Abbassi you can buy 10.”

CHAPTER 2: WHAT MATTERED TO HIM - read by Lubna

Baba was not a flashy guy. Simplicity was the way he lived; he was a humble man. He didn’t want a fancy car, or a sparkly Rolex.

He loved Denny’s & diners; 2 poached eggs, dry rye toast & a black coffee with a newspaper.

Money did not impress him; it was the intellect of people he was enamored by. He was interested in what people knew, where they came from, and what he could learn from them.

Baba was the ultimate hustler, always on the move traveling between offices & surgery centers in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and upstate New York. He dreamed of working for Doctors Without Borders.

An admirable respectable man who was hard to impress. He set the bar high for us, the moment he approved of our husbands we were sold. Our friends adored him and at the same time feared him. Nobody wanted to disappoint him, he was everyone’s Baba.

Baba never spoiled himself, but he spoiled us rotten. He showed us the world and bought us the fancy cars, while making sure we understood that an education and the ability to stand on our own was the most important.

Growing up he would always say “You’re going to be a lawyer.” He knew I had to get my point across. I would negotiate, push, and refuse to give up and somehow, he turned all those years of debating with him into training to become his in-house counsel. It is a privilege to continue his business ventures and use that work ethic he instilled.

After working for a while Sonja & I wanted to finally spoil him. We bought him his first Rolex. He opened it, and with that hallmark beautiful smile he put it on his wrist and raised it up saying “ma hada ehsan min hada.”

His generosity didn’t stop with us. He dedicated countless hours to providing pro bono medical care. Never turning away someone in need.

That was Baba: whatever he had, he shared.

CHAPTER 3: OUR JOURNEY’S TOGETHER - read by Sonja

Baba took us into the world with him. And although he loved this country, he never wanted us to forget where we came from or the roots that shaped us.

From summers spent on his father’s farm in Jordan, to Syria, where he insisted, we wear traditional clothing even though everyone around us was in jeans. To the tour bus in London, making sure our headphones were on to hear the history being told. We ran to catch trains from Florence to Tuscany, attended the ballet in Vienna, walked among the ancient ruins of Greece, and sped across the waters of the Caribbean.

And even a trip to Cancún could turn into a classic Baba story. After a year of begging to spend high school spring break with our friends, we finally got a yes only to find out that our parents had booked their time-share there, too. We could see our friends during the day, but we were staying with Baba and Mom. That was baba, always finding a way to give us our freedom while making sure we were never too far from him.

And, of course, we made our most special journey of all, to the Holy Land.

Wherever Baba took us, he wanted us to truly experience the world around us. To notice the people, appreciate the history, embrace different cultures, and never forget our own. He didn’t just want us to see the world. He wanted us to understand it, to learn from it, and to carry a little piece of every place we visited with us.

The greatest gift wasn’t just the places he took us. It was getting to see the world through his eyes.

Chapter 4: THE HOUSE THAT WAS NEVER TOO FULL - read by Sonja

On Saturday mornings, Beethoven & Fairuz played loudly while we did our chores; he quizzed us on history and politics and handed us the Time magazine -- though we usually used it as a coaster. Sundays were for church. He’d always say it’s just 2 hours a week to give to God no ifs, ands or buts about it, get up. While living in upstate New York, even a blizzard did not keep him from driving us more than an hour to church, sometimes after being on call at the hospital with little sleep. His faith was the foundation of our family life.

He made holidays magical, filled with music and dancing, where the house was always overflowing. We grew up with random people at our house every holiday. My dad would invite the whole town over if they didn’t have family and we served them at our table. Eventually, a holiday without a new face felt strange to us.

In between hospital cases he ran home in his scrubs to play with us when we were little. His favorite memory from when we were babies was feeling us crawl onto his chest, listen for his heartbeat, and finally fall asleep there. Something that always puts a smile on our faces now as our babies do the same.

He coached our soccer team, which was fun but also intimidating, he took it very seriously, and ran a tight ship. He treated our 12-year-old team as a professional team trying out for the world cup. In a beautiful full circle moment, we were able to attend the 2026 World Cup altogether.

He rode roller coasters with us only to later to find out he secretly threw up afterward. He also could not swim, which was something new we learned after we all fell off a banana boat in Mexico.

CHAPTER FIVE: WHEN THE ROAD CHANGED-THE ACCIDENT- read by Sonja

On August 13, 2020, two days before my bridal shower and the height of COVID, our families’ lives changed forever. We were eating dinner around the kitchen table as usual, when my dad went to the bathroom. Shortly after we heard a loud thump, a sound that will never leave us. He slipped and hit his head on the marble floor. Fast forward to an emergent craniotomy that night, which only a small percentage of people survive. After he woke up from surgery, he told me to get ready to walk down the aisle, and down the aisle we went.

The years that followed held both immense joy and endless heartbreak. We married the loves of our lives, he became Gido to 6 beautiful grandchildren, we built our careers all while watching our first loves health decline.

God knew we needed him, and kept him in our lives while Isabella, Anastasia, Theodore, Sophia, James and Naomi were all born. The elation they brought him kept him motivated, and he bounced back after each hospitalization making sure he was there for each milestone.

Watching this strong resilient healer suffer was enough heartbreak for a lifetime.

Baba, it has been my greatest honor to be your daughter, your colleague, and your doctor. I will try to live up to your legacy, and I will carry your name, Dr. Abbassi, for the rest of my life.

Since his passing, an outpouring of people reached out eager to tell us his stories mostly of his humor, his wit, his adventures, his mischief, his generosity, and the ways he made other people feel at home.

CHAPTER SIX: GOING HOME- read by Lubna

He was hoping we could all live in the same state, somewhere near the beach, he loved so much. When God finally brought us all there, we thought we had more time. We thought he would bounce back, just as he had before. He’s a fighter. We never imagined we would watch him take his last breath so quickly. It’s as if he told us, I am ready, I am at peace. You are altogether.

Through it all, Mom was beside him, he cherished her so much. She radiated peace, something we all needed. That peace came from Jesus. Her faith and strength carried us through the last couple of years, especially his final days. And when the moment came, we were all together, holding hands and praying as he departed us.

He completely fulfilled his purpose in this life and has now returned home to the Lord.

Baba, we know you are running and dancing with the angels in our Lord’s paradise.