Renata was born in Lawrenceville, IL on August 29, 1950 to Dolores and Bill Owen. Bill spent much of his business career in petroleum related construction which required the family to relocate fairly often. Dolores had her hands full keeping up with the three daughters and the household. Renata had a little ornery streak, which I learned to love, that got her in the dog house with her parents fairly often. In order to spend her senior year in just one high school her parents sent her to live with her grandparents in Seminole, OK. Even though we were very different people, a common friend introduced us and we dated the last semester of our senior year. After graduation I went to college and she had to return to live with her parents in St. Croix, VI. We kept in contact via phone and letters but I thought the relationship was probably over until one day she called and said her dad was letting her attend my college. I had started dating other people and wasn’t sure how things would work out. After several dates I forgot about everyone else and knew she was something special. We continued to date and by the end of the semester we had fallen madly in love. Unfortunately, I had to leave school to go through army boot camp so we were separated again. She would write me 2 to 3 letters every day letting me know how much she missed me. Those letters would lift my spirits more than she could ever know and made me love her even more. Several months after I returned I visited her in Little Rock and we decided to get married. The honeymoon started a little rocky with me taking her to see the horse races in Hot Springs only to find out they wouldn’t be racing for three more months. I asked her if she wanted to get the marriage annulled and she said never.
We started our married life living in the second story of an old one car garage apartment. My parents didn’t find out about the marriage for several months and were very upset at first but quickly grew to love her like their own daughter. I was on a golf scholarship, worked part time at the computer lab and all we had was a beat up VW with barely enough money to buy gas but she didn’t care. After a long day she would always be at the top of the stairs with a smile and “I love you Don” greeting. When I heard her voice and those words all my problems just melted away. We were so poor that we mainly ate can goods and once could only afford to share a ten cent hamburger. She quit school and got a job with AT&T and we thought we were rich. I finally graduated and we moved to Tulsa where I worked as a CPA and she transferred with AT&T as a sales rep. She set records and won awards with her high sales numbers. We were both proud of each other’s success and were finally able to eat out, buy clothes and take trips. She loved the beach and I loved the mountains so we learned to ski and scuba dive. We loved the Caribbean and the Rockies.
We both wanted children but she had endometriosis and we had almost given up on that dream. In early July 1980 I came home from work and found her crying at the front door. She gave me that great smile and said “we’re pregnant”. We were so happy. During the pregnancy I was out of town a lot and she would call me several times a day to see if I was ok. She never complained. After enduring 23 hours of hard labor, and eventually a C section, our first son Christopher was born on March 25th, 1981. We were so excited and she was determined to be the best mother possible. During that year we settled into parenthood. In the fall of 1981 she called me at work and said “we’re pregnant again”. We were ecstatic since we didn’t think she could have another child. On May 3rd, 1982 we had our second son, Nicholas. The two were a handful with me being out of town so much. Don’t know how she did it but she never complained because she loved being a mother. She had to keep up with both babies, and the house, until I got back on weekends. As the boys grew she exposed them to as many different activities and social events as possible. On the weekends I would get a taste of the nonstop running around. As they grew older she would take them to tennis and swimming tournaments all over the state. She would encourage, cheer and sometimes offer unsolicited advice. It was always positive and supportive in helping direct their lives in a positive family oriented direction. Some of our favorite times were the vacations to Hawaii, the Caribbean and mountains. After high school they attended college at Wake Forest University and she was constantly worrying and calling them. She wanted to move closer but instead we visited at every opportunity. We were so proud of the way they were growing into good men and I always reminded her it was because she was such a great mother. Both boys graduated, got good jobs, were married and are both fathers now. Both of their wives are great mothers which are reflected in our two fantastic grandchildren.
Toward the end of 2009 we got the bad news that Renata had ALS. Since her mother died from this terrible disease we knew we were in for a fight. We tried everything possible, even a two year trial, to push back on the effects. She wouldn’t complain and would use all her energy trying to stay as independent as possible. We had already decided to go on a ventilator and when the time came her biggest concern was that I had to give up all the things I loved to take care of her. I told her she meant everything to me and I didn’t need the other stuff but I did need her. She was vented in September 2012 and her younger sister, who had recently lost her husband, came to live with us and get vent trained. Having Durinda there made it possible to keep Renata at home, give her a constant companion and take some of the load off me. After several months we adjusted to the new life and Renata learned how to use a speech generating device. At the end of August 2015 Renata became ill and we rushed her to the ER where they moved her to the ICU. She had developed a gallbladder infection which became septic and she went into septic shock. We spent eight weeks in the ICU and finally got out but the lack of oxygen had affected her brain, heart and liver. Over the next year she fought back to be able to use her speech generating device and get most of her functions back. Through all of this she never complained or felt sorry for herself. Being the great mother and wife that she was she worried about us. She felt lucky to see her sons grow up to be good men, have successful careers, get married to wonderful women and have wonderful children of their own.
In late December 2017 she developed an undetermined infection that sent us to the ICU once again. After 11 weeks, and an incredible effort by Baylor-Plano ICU doctors, nurses and rt’s, her body finally gave up and she passed away on March 15, 2018. I lost the love of my life and my heart is broken. For the last 48 years she has been by my side and made me a better man. She gave me two wonderful sons who married wonderful women who gave them wonderful children. The world is a lesser place without her presence and I feel a painful empty void in my heart and soul that can never be filled or repaired. The effects of ALS ripped her from us as it did her mother from her. I was in awe of how strong and brave she was and at the same time tender and loving. I am so proud to have been her husband for all those years. I thought I could protect her from all the related health issues and infections but in the end, no matter how hard I tried, I failed. The guilt of failing her will be with me for the rest of my days. What an honor it has been to be married to such an incredible woman, wife and mother of my sons. She has left broken hearts but fantastic memories. I only hope the pain of her loss will be replaced with the memories of her life.
Renata is survived by her husband, C Don Seaman; two sons Christopher and Nicholas Seaman; her sisters Durinda Scheider and Sharon Carter; daughter in laws Shea and Crissi Seaman; grandson Christopher Seaman; granddaughter Sophia Seaman; and wonderful nieces and nephews. The funeral services were held in her room at the hospital by the hospital chaplain. Instead of flowers, etc., the family request you donate to MDA/ALS to find a cure for this terrible disease.
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