

Tony Mattiaccio, affectionately known as ‘the Commish’ or ‘Uncle T’ lived a beautiful life. Born on December 17,1943, the only child of his devoted parents Al and Violet, Tony was raised in a Bronx tenement bursting with music, conversation, and family on every floor. Here Tony enjoyed hosting sci-fi clubs in the makeshift crawl spaces beneath the stairwell and persuading his cousins into playing constant pranks on neighbors.
The Bronx also cultivated his deep love of baseball - the lone Giants fan in a Yankee stronghold, Tony cherished subway trips to the Polo Grounds of Coogan’s Bluff with his dad Al, where they rooted on their favorite players like Willie Mays and Don Mueller. He organized a local baseball league among the neighborhood kids (with uniforms handmade by his dad the tailor) and they’d spend countless hours in sandy lots trying to live out the glory of their heroes against the backdrop of the old IRT El (subway). His love of the Giants survived their move to San Francisco, but over the years his wife Michelle’s not so subtle encouragement eventually converted him to rabid Mets fan and the two could be heard cheering their brains out for their team from countless pubs across Danbury, The Bronx, and when they wanted to live dangerously, anywhere outside the tri-state area.
Tony worked his way through college as a waiter up in the Catskills. It was here he’d forge friendships that would last a lifetime. From countless pranks in the dining room to late nights singing at O’Shea’s, he valued every second. Then one day a guest arrived who’d change his life forever- Michelle. After their first date she had the guts to say, “Tony, if we don’t end up spending the rest of our lives together, it will be a complete waste.” Fifty seven years later, they are still madly in love.
The open road always beckoned to Tony, whether during his younger years, inspired by writers like Jack Kerouac, where he worked his way across the country through odd jobs (from dishwasher to oilfield worker) or when he wanted to share the beauty of America’s National Parks with Michelle. They’d pack up their Ford Econoline and set out to explore. From the icy peaks of Glacier or swimming in Zion’s Virgin River to star-gazing atop Acadia’s Cadillac Mountain, this love of America’s natural beauty captivated them and would be passed to their daughter Elyse.
Every road trip was accompanied by its own soundtrack as music was an integral part of Tony’s soul. When it was Michelle's turn to drive, Tony would strum on his guitar and find the perfect song for that leg of their journey. Both a fan and a scholar, Tony loved to delve into the historical and ethnomusicological roots that connected his favorite genres of rockabilly, bluegrass, jazz, blues, gospel, folk and country. In the late 70's he wrote and narrated several radio documentaries on the history of American music for WFUV in New York. One of them, “A Folk Music Portrait of Elvis Presley” was accepted into the American Folklife Center wing of the Library of Congress’s National Archives. He was immensely proud of this accomplishment, and it opened doors for a tour of speaking engagements across the country- even receiving an invitation from Graceland.
Shortly after this, Elyse was born and he stepped into his proudest role: ‘dad’. As a dad, his imagination and patience were unmatched. Kids gravitated to him and he knew how to unlock their creativity and engage their sense of wonder and fun. For Tony, every day was Halloween, and he loved having Elyse, her cousins and friends over for “Creepy Creature” horror movie nights, and he was never above dressing up as multiple monsters to add to the atmosphere. Neighborhood bike races, epic water gun battles, camping trips, visits to the Museum of Natural History, backyard music jams, and mad science projects rounded out an amazing childhood and paved the way for Elyse’s desire to become an educator.
In the mid 1980's, they moved to the Danbury area. Upon leaving the Bronx where the only glimpses of quiet could be experienced from the ‘tar beach’ roof of apartment buildings, Tony appreciated the simple beauty of having a yard and loved watching the birds, bunnies, and even skunks that came to visit. Since Michelle’s retirement in 2021 they enjoyed socializing in the local music scene, and adored the peacefulness of their back porch at night as they gazed at the heavens, always growing deeper in love.
Tony was always a helper. Whether through his job as a psychotherapist, or a friend, you could always count on him. Fiercely loyal, Tony would always be there to back up a loved one in need or to help fight an injustice. No matter how he was feeling he’d spend countless hours on the phone if you needed to talk or give you the biggest hug in person. You never had to doubt if he was proud of you - he was. You never had to doubt if he loved you- he did with all his heart. A man like Tony is rare- with his immense capacity to love, his unwavering patience, and boundless creativity and strength in the face of hardship. We all won the lotto for having him in our lives, and we know he will never truly leave us.
Tony is survived by his wife of 57 years Michelle, his daughter Elyse and her partner Declan, his nephews Rich, Mike and Frank, niece Salma, brothers and sisters-in-law Frank, Donna and Andy. He is also survived by countless cousins and friends he loved like family.
A visitation with Anthony's ashes present will be held on Friday, October 3, 2025, from 5 - 8 PM at Green Funeral Home, 57 Main St., Danbury.
A Mass of Christian Burial will take place at St. Mary Church, 26 Dodgingtown Rd., Bethel on Saturday, October 4th at 10 AM. The burial of ashes will follow the Mass at St. Mary's Cemetery, Bethel.
Donations may be made to St. Jude's or Shriners or by private arrangement with the family. Michelle requests that flowers NOT be sent to their home.
DONATIONS
St. Jude Children's Hospital DIPG Cancer Research262 Danny Thomas Place, Memphis, TN 38105
Shriners Children's Hospital5216 Carew St., Springfield, MA 01104
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