Gary C. Lukens, age 66, of Fairborn OH, passed away Saturday, October 13, 2018 at Hospice of Dayton. He was preceded in death by his parents, Donald and Luann Lukens. He is survived by a brother, Mike Lukens of Fairborn, cousin Rick Wagner, 2 nieces, 1 nephew and 7 great nieces and nephews. Gary was a 1970 graduate of Belleville Twp. High School West. Following a successful career in music he earned both a Bachelor’s and Master’s Degree in Electrical Engineering from Wright State University. He enjoyed a 30 year career in Research & Development at WPAFB. Friends may call at the Tobias Funeral Home Beavercreek Chapel, 3970 Dayton-Xenia Rd; calling hours are 3:00pm to 7:00pm on Thursday, October 18, 2018, and 10:00am to 11:00am on Friday, Oct. 19, 2018. Funeral services will be held at 11:00am on Friday, followed by a social at the reception room at Tobias, featuring Gary’s favorite desserts and soft drinks. The interment of cremains will be held privately in Valhalla Cemetery, Belleville, IL at a later date. In lieu of flowers, please consider donating in Gary’s memory to help those afflicted with ALS in the greater Dayton Area. Send donations to: the ALS Association Central & Southern Ohio Chapter, 1170 Old Henderson Road, Suite 221, Columbus, OH 43220. Learn more at www.alsa.org. Condolences can be made to the family at www.tobiasfuneralhome.com.
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My Tribute & Farewell to Gary
(And Thanks to Friends)
By Robert M. Zumrick (Zumo)
As all of you have heard, in the early morning hours (5:15am) of 13 October 2018, my beloved friend, musical genius, and Partner-in-Silliness, Gary Lukens, passed away from ALS. It was gut-wrenching and yet the most unbelievably awesome display of character, strength, and faith I have ever witnessed in my 58+ years of life.
Before I talk about the last five months, I have to touch on the previous five decades. Many have heard us talk about “how good a guitar player” Gary is!. You folks can’t conceive of the unbelievable musical energy that could radiate from his ten fingers!! Add to that his musical mind and pitch-perfect hearing, and you have the perfect storm of creativity! I have seen him write a song, complete with drums, basss, keys, and guitar in less than 30 minutes. He soon began composing classical music for his mom and turning rough tracks from our friends into musical masterpieces. In the early 70’s he played with up-n-comers like Michael McDonald and had to reject Peter Frampton’s offer to buy his beloved Martin D-28 at a St Louis recording session. He contributed to local artists like The Breeders, Jayne Sachs, Word Love, and Bad Sines. The entire Bad Sines album “Myth” is all Gary – guitar, drums, bass, keys, mandolin, orchestral arrangements, accordion, and percussion. By the time Gary joined us at AFWAL, he had been playing out for 20 years, and we could not wrest him from the comfort and ease of the recording studio back to the stage. Of all the musicians I have ever seen play, since I had my fake ID back in 1977, no one could compare to Gary’s overall skillset. He could melt your face or make your grandma weep, he was that good!
Returning to the sad events of this week, Gary was having mobility issues the last half of 2017 and into early 2018. He broke the news to us in late July that he had been diagnosed with ALS. From that point on, what my wife calls “Team Gary”, burst into action to assist Gary’s brother, Mike, in caring for Gary at home. Barb Rowe & Clare Mikula organized food deliveries to keep Gary & Mike supplied. Many of Gary’s friends from the base visited him to keep up his spirits, allowing his brother time to navigate the myriad of care, insurance, and specialized equipment options. Gary’s brother was the SOLE care-giver for over two months before we learned of the ALS. To list everything he did to keep Gary out of a nursing home would require two more pages. Suffice it to say that “Saint” is not too strong a word to describe him and the love he showed for his younger brother!
ALS is a cruel disease with no predictable path. Gary would do well for weeks at a time, but nearing the end of September his strength began to perceptibly decline. At this point, Team Gary demonstrated the power of being good wingmen and taking care of our own. We all increased our time-on-station at Gary’s house to help out. John Werthmann, Fred Heitkamp, and John Carr need to be singled out, but no one more so than my wife, Jennifer. To say “they helped out” is not nearly adequate, I have to be blunt. We moved Gary from his TV chair to a wheelchair to the restroom and then to bed, taking care of ALL that needed squared away. This was on a nearly nightly basis. I thank them for their selfless dedication to Gary’s well-being. If you know these gentlemen, you need to buy them a drink or two! You can buy my wife an airline ticket so she can visit the grandkids 😊!! I have an unbelievably new higher respect and regard for those who fall under the broad title “care-givers”. It is no easy task.
On Monday morning, 08 October, Gary was having trouble catching his breath and was taken by ambulance to Soin Medical Center. He was then transported to Hospice of Dayton early that same evening. From that point on, Gary was never left alone for a single minute the entire 107 hours he was there. It is a testament to the love we all felt for him and the culture of being a “good wingman”. The nurses at the adjoining nurse’s station commented it was unbelievable the support and outpouring of love Gary received from his friends. I can’t express enough gratitude and thanks to the staff at Hospice of Dayton for the care they gave Gary.
It was obvious Gary’s condition was worsening daily. Gary had made his wishes clear not to be kept alive by extraordinary means. The decision was made Thursday to remove the BPAP mask on Friday morning. I have never seen more bravery in the face of adversity than in the moment of that decision. He was unwavering in his determination to go out with dignity. On that Friday morning, as we each had a private few minutes with Gary, he reaffirmed again and again his wishes. These private moments were most poignant and will be cherished by all. His strength of character knew no bounds in these final hours. He was a great patient to the end, never any anger or frustration.
My wife talked about the honor of guardianship in taking care of someone you love. That it is a privilege to be there for those you hold dear. This could be seen in all of his close friends in that, although exhausted and having other responsibilities, everyone felt bad and sometimes guilty for having to leave Gary to take care of their own lives.
Gary’s room was filled to overflowing Friday morning and we were all with Gary in spirit. He was surrounded by those who loved him and you could not count how many times the phrase “I love you, Gary” was spoken. So many people held his hand and kissed his forehead, it must have been some type of Hospice record😊. My wife told me she had never seen so many grown men with red-rimmed eyes and tears freely flowing down their faces. A close friend told me she gave Gary a big kiss and said “Damn, I should’ve kissed him earlier, his lips were so soft!” You go, Gary!
I have but one more special image to share. In those last moments it was Gary’s brother his cousin, Rick, Barb, my wife, me, and Cubby, Gary and Mike’s French bulldog. He was there the last day and knew something was up and was very concerned. After the staff removed the oxygen tube and IV’s, we came back into the room to sit with Gary. Cubby strained to get into my lap. I was in a big recliner and hoisted him up. He immediately turned and stood still, just staring at his master laying in bed. We moved Cubby to the bed and he gently walked up to Gary and gave him a little nuzzle on his cheek and then laid on Gary’s legs looking at him for at least 20 minutes, motionless. In that moment it was crystal clear what the meaning of the expression “True Love” meant. You could see it in Cubby’s eyes and the look on his face.
And that is what we all felt for Gary, our Friend and Brother– True Love
We love you, Gary, and I will miss you until we are reunited in Heaven.
With a broken heart, but knowing Gary is in a better place now,
Zumo
(Robert M. Zumrick, AFRL/RYMT, Retired)
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