Mr. Robert W. Batchelder

Robert W. “Bob” Batchelder, 82, loving and devoted husband to Lorraine (Lozier) Batchelder and longtime resident of East Hartford, CT passed away peacefully on Sept. 10, 2010 at Manchester Memorial Hospital with his loving family by his side. Bob was born April 2, 1928 in Fall River, MA, son of the late Richard P. and Agnes (Temple) Batchelder. He graduated from Durfee High School in Fall River, MA and then served in a United States Army Construction Battalion stationed in Japan during the Korean Conflict.

He worked for over thirty years for Pratt & Whitney Aircraft as an Analyst. Bob was a communicant of Our Lady of Peace Church in East Hartford; he liked playing golf and was an active supporter of local and high school athletics with his four children. He was a volleyball referee and umpired for numerous area athletic leagues. He was a renaissance man, craftsman, and a Jack of All Trades, “If it was broken, Bob could fix it!” Above all, he was a devoted husband and father.

Bob was truly dedicated to the well being of his family, especially his loving wife “Rainey”. In addition to his wife Lorraine, he is survived by his three sons and daughter: Robert Batchelder and wife Rosemary of Trumbull, CT, John Batchelder of Manhattan, NY, Brian Batchelder and wife Cindy of Pennington, NJ, and Megan Batchelder of East Hartford, CT: a brother Paul Batchelder and his wife Mary of Fall River, MA: four cherished grandchildren Chelsea Boutwell, Claire and Scott Batchelder and Michelle Denton: and numerous nieces and nephews who will miss him greatly.

Bob’s family will be receiving relatives and friends on Monday (Sept. 13th) from 6-8 p.m. at the Newkirk & Whitney Funeral Home, 318 Burnside Ave., East Hartford, CT.

A Liturgy of Christian Burial will be celebrated on Tuesday (Sept. 14th) at 10:30 a.m. in Our Lady of Peace Church, 370 May Road, East Hartford officiated by Rev. James Nock. Burial will follow in Silver Lane Cemetery, East Hartford.

Memorial contributions may be made in Bob’s memory to the VNA Hospice & Health Care, 103 Woodland St., Hartford, CT 06105.

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A Final Remembrance of Bob Batchelder

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

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Doctor Albert Schweitzer once said, “Example is Leadership.”

Today, we are gathered to honor the life of my Dad, Bob Batchelder, and to comfort my mom - Dad’s loving wife Rainey, my brothers Andy and Bri, and my darling sister Meggie. So many others to comfort… Blessedly, too many to name.

Fellow family members, friends, and Father Nock, thank you for being here today. Dad would be very uncomfortable being the center of all this attention and probably would have started fixing something around the church to escape being in the spotlight.

But Daddy, I’m afraid we can’t let you escape the spotlight today by grabbing a hammer or fixing a bike, or tossing a ball. No, you’re going to have to sit still and squirm a little bit - like we kids did when you cut our hair…

And take-in, once and for ALL to hear - the love and admiration each and every one of us has for you.

This must be absolute torture for you Dad – a guy who could never sit down and who shunned praise.

Well, as you used to say about folks who didn’t like things the way they were (especially us kids), “Saahree.”

Dad is a product of a different age, one that is sadly – no I should say tragically, slipping from our grasp. Dad is a member of what Tom Brokaw calls, “The Greatest Generation.” What makes his generation great is not so much all it achieved – suffering through and rising stronger from the greatest economic collapse in our history - beating back the forces of darkness and tyranny at an immeasurable cost in blood, sacrifice and sorrow – or putting a man on the moon in what was nothing more than a fancy bicycle frame covered in aluminum foil.

Every generation will face what seem to be monumental challenges – and somehow overcome them. Such is the nature of human history. Ultimately humanity muddles through – which is clearly what society does - and what, frankly, we are doing right now.

What distinguishes my Dad and so many of his generation is the way they achieved all that they did - with an unshakable belief and steadfastness of purpose to do what is right. Not to do right because of its righteousness – but simply because of its fundamental decency and goodness.

Consistently doing things solely for the sake of goodness – for the pure betterment of those around you, and ultimately, those you do not know or cannot see - is a quality I call grace.

Grace is the final gift my father gave me in the last few days we spent together. A gift he knew I was finally ready to receive, steadfastly demonstrate, and generously share – not only with those I love – but those I do not know and cannot see - who might be affected by the things I do.

Grace is what led my Dad to totally devote himself to my mom and our family in ways we can’t even begin to count. Working a full day, plus three hours overtime, coming home to dinner kept warm in the oven, tucking us kids in, briefly exchanging the news of the day with mom.

Then, going outside to work on the house until eleven and tumbling into bed exhausted – into my mother’s arms. Only to get up the next morning and do the same thing, day after day – until the job was done.

Never a complaint – only kind words of gratitude for my mom – and tender, encouraging words for us. Never showing the fatigue – or speaking the sweet sadness he surely felt for not having enough time to play with us kids and put a better roof over our heads at the same time.

Dad, like so many in his generation didn’t talk about what he felt. He did what was right and let his actions speak his gracious truth. Of course, it wasn’t only his infallible sense of goodness, it was the love overflowing in his heart for each one of us that drove him to give everything of himself - the sweat of his brow, the blood or grease on his fingers, the tireless cheering from the sidelines, the infinite number of rides everywhere, the endless playtime on precious family vacations, and yes, the occasional corrective spank when it was richly deserved.

But these and other images flooding back to Andy, Bri, Meg and I are the remembrances of a loving father by his children.

What we cannot imagine, or even begin to fathom are the tender thoughts and sweet memories flooding into our mother’s aching heart. Children often know so little about the intimate relationship between their parents, and all the joys and fears they feel in their love and devotion to each other and family.

Therefore I, We, can only speculate, in a most feeble way, how forlorn, heartbroken and alone our dear mother feels right now.

Mom, I think it’s fair to speak for everyone gathered here today - How sorry we are for your loss – and how much we love you – and Dad.

You too are a part of that greatest generation, and share the fierce yet quiet determination to create a safe, loving home for all of us. And in your shared wisdom, you and Dad have cared for all the needs that are truly important. The need for encouragement, the need for affection, the need for a sense of belonging, the need for ambition, the need for discipline, the need for sympathy – and yes, the occasional need for a bicycle or a sleeping bag.

Everything we needed was there - a warm bed, clean clothes, a delicious meal, a dry roof, an overflowing Christmas tree, a sweet birthday cake, a splendid summer vacation and a green lawn to play on.

Our needs were modest – and like the beacons of your generation you are - you met those needs humbly, faithfully, strongly, quietly and fully.

Mom, the three things I do know with absolute certainly is how much you love Dad and he you, how much you both love each of us children, and lastly - how very proud you are of Dad.

Because, only you truly know how much Dad sacrificed – how much he gave of himself, utterly and tirelessly to you and to us – with seldom a thought or word about himself. “What about me,” was a concept beyond his and your comprehension, so selfless and grounded you both are.

Therefore: Andy, Bri, Meg and I thank you both, our loving parents - with all our hearts.

We will always be here for you, mom – just as Dad was.

Example is Leadership…

Dad – God put grace in your heart and fire in your spirit – So that you could demonstrate to us every day what it meant to act solely for the sake of goodness – for the sake of your family.

Our family is an enduring testament to that glorious achievement.

But, dear Dad, I as your oldest son need to say one final thing you probably don’t want to hear - devoted and modest man you are.

It’s time for you to rest.

You’ve left every fiber of your existence, every ounce of energy, and every gift you have to us – and we all – those who knew you, and those who did not - are better for it.

You did a magnificent job. Thank you so very much, from the bottom of our hearts.

May God hold you by his side – and may he grant us the wisdom and strength to be the example for others you were for us – as we share the blessings of your grace.