Elizabeth "Betty" Spirito

Okemos, Michigan

Elizabeth “Betty” Spirito, 88, of Okemos, MI, originally from Hamden, Connecticut, died Tuesday, Feb. 19, 2013 at Hospice House in Lansing.

Betty was born on November 22, 1924 in New Haven, Connecticut. She graduated from Commercial High School, and married Ernest Spirito in 1949. They resided in Hamden, Connecticut where they raised three children. Betty worked as a court typist for the New Haven Superior Court, where she typed many well-known local and national cases. She also worked for the Connecticut PTO.

She was active in many organizations, including the Legal Secretaries of New Haven, Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Marian Guild, and the Amvets Auxiliary.

She was preceded in death by her beloved husband, Ernest Spirito and sister, Eleanor Ruggiero. She is survived by her children Mary (Larry) Hennessey of Okemos, Skip (Cheryl) Spirito of Oshtemo, and Bettianne (John) Smith of New Milford, Connecticut; and her beloved grandchildren John (Siri) , Kiley, Oliver, Rebecca and Michael. Although she only lived in Okemos for a few years, she made many close friends, especially Amy O’Brien and Sister Pat Newhouse, and many friends at Bickford Assisted Living.

A memorial Mass will be celebrated on Saturday, March 2, at 11:00 a.m., at St. John Student Parish, 327 M.A.C. Avenue, East Lansing, with a rosary at 9:30 a.m., and visitation from 10-11 a.m. A memorial service will be held in Connecticut this spring.

Below is Skip's Brief Eulogy and then the Priest's Homily

I wish to thank everyone for coming today to celebrate my mother’s life. She was born in New Haven CT, grew up in New Haven, got married in New Haven, raised her children there, and retired there. A few years ago she moved out to Michigan with my Dad. Something that was very difficult for her. I know she always had mixed feelings in letting her children leave Southern CT. She was glad that we were happy in out lives, however she missed the everyday encounters that you have when you live close to home. I realized in the last few weeks, by how many phone calls and letter’s I received from her friends and family in CT, how difficult it had to be. There were many times when she would tell me and Mary how she understood why she had to move, as it became clear to her, however that realization never completely overcame the sadness of the move.

Like my Dad the Great Depression and WWII left scars on her that would never heal. She would tell us of all the young men she would date, and who would go to war, and never return. ( Apparently she was quite popular as a young adult. Something she did not pass on genetically to me). The Great Depression along with the death of her father kept her really close her sister Eleanor. This hardship made her a very hard worker. And that is what she did and loved ....work. She went to Commercial High School and would have loved to have the chance to go to college. But there was no way she could afford that, so she became became a typist and became the very best at that. I was always amazed of how fast her fingers moved when she typed. She said as a young boy, I though every mother stayed home and typed. She raised 3 kids while having constant interruptions, and there were no back space buttons. She had to stop and erase any mistakes and with 4 carbon copies she had to erase each mistake 4 times. But I learned that was what made her happy and healthy. While in Hospice she would keep saying maybe she could get a job typing for the hospital while she was there. In her mind that would make her better.

I can not go any further without mentioning how much she hated the food at Bickford Assisted Living. I also have to mention her Eggplant Parmesan. Anyone who ever tasted it could not believe that this was actually made by human hands. People who never even ate Eggplant before would try it and it instantly became their favorite dish.

She would grow plants all over our house. She worked many secretary jobs and loved to tell people she was a member of the legal secretaries but as she like to call it, the Legal Secs. She was a square dancer, a member of the Am Vets, raised Scottish Terriers, and traveled to Europe and Israel later in her life.

She was very proud of all her children and grandchildren. She was very close to her sister Eleanor and we would spend every Holiday with my cousins. She made a lot of friends here in Michigan, and maintained her friendships in CT. She was truely loved by many and will be greatly missed.

Below is the Homily from her mass.

I want to welcome all of you who have come this morning to celebrate Betty’s life.

especially you her family:

Mary and Larry

Skip and Cheryl

Betti Anne and John

as well as you her grandchildren.

Many of you came from quite a distance. What a tribute to your mother and grandmother

that you are all able to be here.

I also want to welcome in a special way you who are coming from other Christian churches and congregations. My prayer is that you feel no only welcomed here at St. John’s but also at home in our prayer and worship this day.

In my welcome today, I want all of us to remember all those, the cousins and many, many friends of Betty from Connecticut who could not be with us today. Betty lived here in Michigan for only a short time, towards the end of her life. Her life-long home was back in Connecticut. We are united with all those folks today in a special way, especially through our prayer and the communion that we share this day.

We are here today to remember a mother, a grandmother and a friend

to tell something of her story

recalling the gifts that were hers

and how you and many others were blessed by those gifts.

But we also gather to let go

to entrust Betty to God’s mercy and to his faithful love.

In letting go, in the farewell, there is always a sadness,

the knowledge that we have lost someone close us.

But at the same time our faith in the Lord Jesus and the sacraments of our church

encourage us to have confidence that God does not abandon us at the end

and that the journey of our death ends not in darkness but with the transforming

gifts of light and eternal life.

Our first reading from the Book of Wisdom tells us

that the souls of the just are in the hands of God.

Their going forth from us can feel like such a loss, even a tragedy.

But, as the author reminds us,

we should know that they are in peace because God has found them worthy of himself.

As I listened the other day to you, Mary, talking about your mother and her life

I had the sense that here was a real servant, one of the just whom our reading speaks of.

Here was someone who was humble, honest, hard working and faithful in all ways in her life.

I say that knowing that life held some very difficult moments for her.

At a very young age Betty lost her father and from what I can gather

it was right in the midst of the depression.

And so times were very, very tough for her and her family.

The tough times meant that Betty could not go to college,

which as she acknowledged later in life, she very much wanted to.

Rather right after high school she started a typing business

- a business that she continued on through her adult life.

Mary, you told me that not only was your Mom a great typist - 100 words per minute -

but that you and your siblings grew up with the clacking sound of a type writer

going well into the night. In fact, you had a hard time sleeping when that familiar sound

was absent.

Your mother, Betty, and your father, Ernie were married in the late 40’s, after the war.

But for seven long years she struggled with what seemed like another cross:

not able to have any children.

And so, to end up with three children seemed like a true answer to prayer

a miracle for two people who wanted very much to be parents.

Being a grandparent only made the miracle more profound.

The fact is, as you told me Mary, she loved being a grandmother.

Cheryl, you wrote a little note about your mother in law

recalling how she loved to sing to her grandchildren.

Mary, you added, “that’s right. Mom was always singing, rewording jingles from TV

commercials and making up her own words which we called “momisms.”

Cheryl you also said that despite the fear of losing her memory in later life

your mother in law was “the only woman I knew who could be confused

and complete a crossword puzzle at the same time.”

A hard worker, someone who had a large circle of friends,

completely devoted to her family:

those are some of the wonderful memories that you carry with you.

But, and I think this is important, what sustained Mary through the good and the difficult times?

Was it not her faith in Jesus, her love for her Catholic church and her local parish

and was it not her deep and abiding devotion to Mary?

In her desire to be a mother and to fulfill that vocation in her life,

she reached out to the one we Catholics affectionately call “our Blessed Mother.”

It was for that reason that in planning for her funeral Mass

we chose for the gospel reading Mary’s prayer, the Magnificat,

My soul Proclaims the Greatness of the Lord.

This a prayer not of the mighty or the powerful of this earth

but of those who have an unflinching trust in God:

that God is close to them and

that God will lift them up and bless them.

I think that this prayer speaks of the kind of faith

that sustained Betty in her life and made her the mother and grandmother that she was.

In the end, the words of Paul in our second reading

fit our celebration today.

I have competed well.

I have finished the race.

I have kept the faith.

From now on the crown of righteousness awaits me.

For the Lord will bring me safe to his heavenly kingdom.

And so, it is with confidence that we pray today the ancient prayer of the Christian people:

Eternal rest grant unto her O Lord

And let perpetual light shine upon her.

May she rest in peace.

Amen.

Fr. James W. Lothamer, S.S.

Memorial contributions may be made to Hospice House of Mid-Michigan, PO Box 30480, Lansing, MI 48909 or Connecticut Hospice, 100 Double Beach Rd., Branford, CT 06405, in Elizabeth's memory. The family is being served by Gorsline Runciman Funeral Homes, East Lansing, Michigan. On line condolences may be made at www.greastlansing.com.