Marilyn Marie Davis

1926-2013

Died June 2, 2013

Marilyn Davis died today. Born to Robert and Evelyn Lustig in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Robert was one of the founders of the Grand Rapids Osteopathic Hospital. She was the eldest of three daughters. Her sisters, Caroline and Dorothy, idolized her as she grew up to be a beautiful and gracious young woman. She graduated South High School and went to Michigan State College (which became MSU in 1953) in East Lansing to study Teaching and Home Economics.

While there, she became reconnected with childhood playmate, Robert H. Davis, also of Grand Rapids – who in 1944, through a stroke of luck and intelligence, managed to get pulled out of the infantry and sent to MSU to learn radio engineering. They fell deeply in love and after serving his military service in India and China – managed to come home reasonably unscathed and married her June 2, 1947.

They lived first in a trailer and then in married housing at MSU, where Bob finished his PhD in Psychology and Marilyn gave birth to her first child, Kristin Davis – who was a sweet and delightful child. Lulled into a sense that parenthood was as easy as pie, they had daughter Susan four years later, and learned that parenting can also be a challenge.

Marilyn had Kristin at the very first Grand Rapids Osteopathic Hospital which then was located in an old house with no elevator. She recalls in vivid detail, being in labor and having to be carried to the top floor by her cousin Jim Phillipson into the surgical theater to have a caesarian section. All the while, Bob was blithely unaware of events unfolding as he took his final exams at MSC – as this was long before the advent of cell phones and texting.

Marilyn had many creative solutions to the problems of raising two children with such different temperaments. Unlike the agreeable Kris, Susan would not be contained in a playpen. So to stop Susan from bothering Kris as she played quietly with her dolls, Marilyn put Kris in the playpen and Susan could continue her wild climbing and running throughout the house without terrorizing her sister. To keep her entertained at mealtime, Marilyn invented the first finger paints – by squeezing catsup and mustard onto the high chair tray.

Both Marilyn and Bob were adventurous and wanted to experience the larger world outside of Michigan, so together they moved to a series of jobs and homes in - Meadville, PA; Santa Monica, CA; Canoga Park, CA; Littleton, CO; Pacific Palisades, CA; Falls Church, VA; and finally returned home to East Lansing, MI in 1965, where Bob accepted a teaching position at MSU. Even after Bob retired from MSU, they continued to move and travel living in Washington D.C; Holmes Beach, FL; Carmel, CA and Pacific Grove, CA.

With all of the moves, Marilyn became adept at packing up a household in less than a day and developed some unusual techniques for meeting her neighbors. She would walk through the neighborhood with the more outgoing daughter Susan, sending her up to the front doors and as they opened in response to ringing the bell, Susan (then known as Susie) was to say, “My name is Susie Davis, do you have any children my age for me to play with”? If it looked like there was a possible connection, she would join her daughter at the door and meet the mother as well.

In each new town she would join the PTA, League of Women Voters, and sign up for an art class or two – and voila, a few weeks later she had a group of friends and playmates for her children.

Art was an enduring interest throughout both Bob and Marilyn’s lives. Their homes were always filled with brightly colored canvases of their own making. In her lifetime, Marilyn learned to do mosaic tile work, pottery, watercolor, painting with oils, acrylics, watercolors and in later years, silk painting. They visited the great art museums of the world and loved sharing both art and musical theater with their children. In later years they always listened to the Metropolitan Opera broadcasts from New York City on Sundays.

When Bob retired in 1991, he joined her in the creative life and they had many shows both together and alone. They travelled the world and loved every minute of it. When daughter Susan asked her what she wanted to do for her 80th birthday, she said “I want to go to China, but your father won’t go”. So Susan and her husband, Larry accompanied her with friend Rose Marie Turke and her Chinese painting teacher, Dong Shang on what was to be her last trip.

Marilyn’s greatest passion was her love of people. She always had friends who sustained her through good times and bad. She was unfailingly interested in the smallest details about everyone’s lives. She once actually missed a flight after becoming so involved in a conversation with a stranger. Even at the end of her life – she could recite for you everything they had told her about themselves, their children, struggles and victories. Despite the confidences that people shared with her, she was never gossipy or catty. She knew that regardless of status or finances, everyone was affected by tragedy and joy. We often laughed that mom could find someone from Michigan anywhere in the world in the world she travelled. She was unfailingly kind and her sparkling eyes and warm smile were treasured by all who knew her.

At the end of her life Marilyn, who never smoked a day in her life, developed lung cancer, which metastasized to bone cancer lodging in her dominant, left arm. In her last year, her main friend, nurse, and advocate, Rebecca Freier, would refer to her arm as “the baby” for the way it had to be gently held and protected in front of her. Rebecca made it possible for her to remain independent until her final days and continued to guide us all in her care – for which we are in her eternal debt. She devoted herself to Marilyn like a third daughter.

When Bob developed vascular dementia around the same time as her cancer diagnosis and had to enter Clare Bridge in Haslett, Marilyn experienced living alone for the first time in her life. For a brief time before the cancer became overwhelming, she reveled in her new, independent life.

At the end she went to live with daughter Kris and son-in-law George in Okemos who, despite their own physical challenges opened their hearts and home to her. Occupying a bedroom in their home, she looked out on a thicket of trees and never tired of watching the birds out her window. Marilyn’s mother, Evelyn Lustig, always said that she would return as a Cardinal after her death and sure enough, a Cardinal sits on a tree outside her window often.

Marilyn is survived by her husband of 66 years, Robert H. Davis who resides in Oakland, MI; sisters Caroline Trout of Livonia, MI, and Dorothy Werner of Bradenton, FL; daughters Kristin Godby (George), Okemos, MI and Susan Davis Boxer (Larry), of Oakland, CA; grandchildren Joe Godby (Nicole), Jenny Godby, Zoe Boxer, Michael Boxer, and Joshua Boxer; and great-grandchildren Madeline Godby, Aiden Godby and Katherine Godby – who will all miss her very much.

We would also like to thank the nurses and aids from Hospice of Lansing for the thoughtful, gentle and compassionate care they gave her and the education and support they gave to us through this difficult time.

In lieu of flowers, please send contributions to Hospice of Lansing, 4052 Legacy Pkwy, Suite 200, Lansing, MI 48911.

The funeral service will be held at 2:30pm on Monday, June 10th at Gorsline Runciman Funeral Home in East Lansing. Family will receive friends at the funeral home one hour prior to the service. For online condolences please visit www.greastlansing.com