OBITUARY
Nathan Houston Smith
January 22, 1999 – August 15, 2018
Nathan “Nate” Houston Smith was born to his biological parents on January 22, 1999 in Wichita Falls, Texas. After spending a significant portion of his life in the foster care system, Nate was adopted at the age of thirteen by Jeremy and Amy Smith. Nate passed from this life on August 15, 2018 at the age of nineteen. Nate is survived by his parents, Jeremy and Amy Smith of Edmond, Oklahoma; two siblings, Brooklyn Lucas and Brody Smith of Edmond, Oklahoma; along with numerous adoptive and biological family members.
Nate lived the majority of his life in Oklahoma, with several of those years being in the Edmond area. Nate attended Oklahoma Christian Academy until his sophomore year of high school. During his time at OCA he participated in football, basketball, baseball and his church youth group.
While in school Nate was an above average student with a ton of friends. He loved football, snowboarding, surfing and skateboarding. He was a snake wrangler and horse whisperer. He sang loudly in the car, went through a box of cereal every 48 hours and drank orange juice from the carton. He lost everything he owned at least once and had the attention span of whatever is smaller than a gnat. He always up for trying something new and was ridiculously good at most things he tried. He was fluent in sarcasm, too charming for his own good and made a new friend everywhere he went.
Today Nate should be a week into his dream of playing college ball. He should be taking his sweet time returning his mom’s text about coming home for the weekend and hinting to his dad he needs gas money. He should be arranging skateboard dates with his brother and telling his sister about a cute girl in his biology class. He should be running out of credit in the cafeteria, double dating with his roommate and calling home to ask about holiday plans. Nate was a witty, talented, bright, charismatic young man with big dreams and he should be here today. He should be okay.
But he isn’t.
Because as hard as he tried, as hard as so many tried, Nate could not overcome the impact of childhood trauma and mental illness. As he got older his symptoms intensified and eventually overwhelmed not only him but those around him.
For those who have never thought much about kids from hard places let Nate be their mascot. A beautiful boy who could outrun us all but could not escape the trauma he experienced. A young man with a wide, easy smile that masked the pain he carried into every space. He spent much of his time anxious and depressed, angry and exhausted. His mental health diagnosis ranged depending on the doctor and the day. His symptoms and behaviors shifted with age and circumstance but what did not change was his belief that there was something so fundamentally wrong that he was unworthy of goodness. Peace. Joy. Family. Love.
There is no easy fix but there are places to start. Become trauma informed. Educate yourself about the impact of adverse childhood experiences and share your newfound knowledge. Report suspected abuse and/or neglect. Consider becoming a foster parent. Elect leaders who prioritize meeting the needs of vulnerable children and families. Mentor a child or adolescent living in tough conditions. Offer emotional support to a pregnant woman exploring adoption. Provide respite to an overwhelmed caregiver. Donate to organizations focused on prevention.
And do any and all of these with no expectation, understanding you will be climbing uphill for much of an uncertain journey. Making Nate ours, loving and losing him are the hardest things we’ve ever done. And he is worth it.
Rest easy, Nate. We love you big and we’ll see you again~
Mom, Dad, Brooke & Brody
*Nate’s family chose a private service to celebrate his life. Nate would also encourage everyone to consider becoming an organ donor, a decision he made personally that improved the lives of at least three individuals.
REMEMBERING
Nathan Houston Smith
have a memory or condolence to add?
ADD A MEMORYChandler Farris
October 15, 2018
I love you and I miss you bud. We had so many good times and shared so much. I could always talk to you about anything. You are my bro and I hope to see you again
Nicki Moad
October 13, 2018
Thank you for sharing Nate’s story- the good, the bad and everything in between. While I do not know your family, I saw his obituary on Facebook from a friend. I am truly sorry for your loss. I am in awe at your love not only for Nate but sending an amazing message of hope to those in great need. God bless Nate and your family. May his memory be eternal.
Sarah H
October 10, 2018
Dear Smith family,
I don't know you and I didn't know your son. Your message has spread around Facebook and as a foster parent I want to say thank you. You have taken a heartbreaking tragedy, one of which I can not even begin to imagine your level of grief, & chosen to use Nates story to speak truth for so many other children who live in similar places as Nate came from. It has spoken to many and Nates story will continue to be shared and to make others aware of the desperate battle these children face through no fault of their own.
Thank you for your honest writing about your son so that hopefully other children can be spared some of the same pain he faced.
I am so so sorry for your pain and that Nate could never see the value he had to your family, his friends, and God.
May the Lord bring you comfort and a peace that only He can give through this trying time.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted... Psalms 34:18a
I pray you He will be close to you through the moments of pain.
Karen Johnston
October 2, 2018
Dear family of Nate, I am so very sorry for your loss, please know I am praying for your healing, comfort and peace. 2 Corinthians 5:8. My 21 year old grandson suffers from bipolar, it is heart breaking and did not manifest until around 17 years old. He also has PTSD from being bullied in high school. We try not to be anxious but everyday deep inside we are. I am a Christian woman and have even lost at least one good friend from unkind remarks, no one truly understands unless you live in this world. May God bless your broken hearts. In Him
Ronnice Bradley
September 24, 2018
Too the family I’m so sorry to hear about Nate , this break my heart..I will keep u guys lifted in prayer!!! Nate was a great kid I worked at the YMCA for quite sometime in many areas, I remember a big smile and jokes and with lots of laughter he was a great kid, I will never forget that smile!!! Watch over ur family Nate..
With Love Ronnice
From the Edmond Area YMCA
Wendy Meyers
September 21, 2018
I was adopted at 3 months old. I can relate to your son's situation. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Missy Kaukola
September 21, 2018
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. I lost my son on Christmas Day 2016 after years of suffering from depression. He was 21 and he was more amazing than he ever knew. He just could not see what we saw. He gave so much love and compassion to everyone he ever met, and in a blink he was gone. Jared was an organ donor and his gift of life has made a huge difference in the lives of three people as well. I've been able to be in contact with two of them, meeting one of them in person. I hope that you are able to communicate with your son's recipients in time. If you'd like to talk, please message me when the timing is right for you. Losing a child is so very much to process. I'm praying for you all to find peace and comfort that surpasses all understanding. Even in the midst of our darkest seasons, God is still good! Much love to you ~Missy
Theresa Doubet
September 21, 2018
I my self suffer with complex PTSD. I was abused as a child and know the pain. I fight everyday to live as God intended, and remind myself I am his daughter, he loves me, and I am worthy. I am 44 and when this was happening to me NO ONE talked about it. It was swept under the rug. I am so thankful people are aware, watching, and talking about it. I am so sorry for your loss. Healing thoughts and prayers are being sent to you and your family..
Jenn Krauss
September 21, 2018
I am so sorry to hear of your loss...... it’s absolutely heartbreaking to think he couldn’t see his worth. Thank you for giving him a life he never would have known. Lots of prayers surrounding your family at this time and just know he lives on inside his donor recipients, that is the most amazing gift anyone could ever give!
Theresa Griswold
September 20, 2018
I am so very sorry for your loss.
As I was reading Nate's obituary, I couldn't help but think of my older brother Peter
We were 364 days apart in age, on one day; my birthday we were the same age
Peter would give his shirt off his back to anyone in need, his last dollar to a stranger. Peter was very kind and loving to all.
However, Peter had many demons that followed him through out his life.
Sexual abuse as a child, depression, bipolar disease ( which did not have a name when we were young), homelessness, highs and lows..........it broke my heart
My brother Peter was found face down on his living room floor. He died alone, 7 months after our Mom.
I don't think he could bear the pain any longer, this life had nothing to offer him.
I couldn't find any comfort from anyone, I am a women of Faith, my heart was once again broken.
One day I was alone and God sent me a message through an angel, it had to have been an angel as he was a stranger and he knew of my pain
God wanted me to know,; He shade the first tear when Peter died
I truly believe this and will til the day I die.
I hope knowing this brings the peace and comfort to you all, that it brought to me
I live in Maine, one of our Senators shared this on her F.B . page. She is bringing a law to the Senate that will help these children and their families
God Bless You
Nancy Russell
September 20, 2018
Thank you for being there for this child. I am also the mother of a foster child who suffered trauma in the biological family and has grown up with mental health issues. Together with those issues she also has an IQ under 80 which makes it difficult for her to understand. Coincidentally she also attended Edmond schools.
Thank you for sharing all of this about your son. You were blessed with his presence in your life and he made his mark in many ways on those around him. Take joy in that.
I know you made the same promise to God that I did "I would make sure that things changed for this child." It was a promise I lived up to to the best of my ability and I'm sure you did also. Sometimes though we can only make a rough road just a little smoother. I would say forgive yourself, but I'm also sure there is nothing to forgive. We have done the best we can. Love to you and once again thank you for your honesty.
Lori Waltz
September 20, 2018
I don’t know this young man at all. I do however know many like him. I am a foster parent and this breaks my heart❤️
Rest In Peace Nathan💙
Mark Tinnin
September 20, 2018
I did not know this young man, I only know what I’ve read about him. I am deeply sorry for the loss to his family, friends and the world. I pray for peace and comfort for all mourning his passing.
Brenda Prosser
September 20, 2018
My heart breaks for your entire family. We have lost two precious souls in our family to suicide and the pain never leaves. May God comfort you and thank you for sharing your life in hopes of making others aware.
Haley Hughes
September 20, 2018
I'm so happy I came across this not because hes not here anymore because that's definitely not the case and I'm so very sorry for your loss, but mental illness and suffering from depression does need to be shared and spread more and I'm so very glad that this made it all the way to me in MD/PA from OK because that means its been able to be seen by lots of people. I have struggled with alot through out my life and I have honestly tried to end my life a couple times but im still here and im so very glad i am because life gets so much better and it is very hard to let go of the past and all the baggage we tend to carry but there is hope and as much as it breaks my heart that some people lose sight of that hope, I'm hanging on strong so I can help open eyes. This has touched my heart and plenty of others, stay strong you will be reunited one day. ❤❤❤❤ Lots of love❤❤❤❤
Leslie French
September 19, 2018
My son took his life January 3rd. He suffered from low self esteem and could never overcome alcoholism despite rehabs. He was 36. In spite of all I went through with him I loved him to the moon. He was a miracle baby. I was very sick for 8 months and we almost died. His father deserted him at 14 and never had a kind word for him. It is so hard to understand why? Only God knows that. I think God thought he had suffered enough. He wanted him to have peace and happiness. He lives on, I know that and his spirit has been in my house. It was not scary, it made me cry with joy. I will see my baby again someday, just as you will see yours. My thoughts and condolences go out to all of you. You will be rewarded for adoption and trying to make a difference in his life. God Bless, Leslie French
Vista Lyda
September 18, 2018
I just wanted to say you all are in my prayers. I dont know your son but we had this in our family as well. My beautiful niece just turned 14 and she to was suffering from depression. She hid it so well from all of us. She took her own life on mother's day this year. I send your family all the love and hugs to each one of you. I will keep your family in my prayers. God bless you all. R.I.P Nate. Fly high buddy
Melissa Schmidt
September 18, 2018
Like many others, I don’t know Nate or his family... but we have gone through exactly what you are now suffering. No one can explain the why??? of it all. And they never will be able to. My beautiful girl was 23, and she couldn’t handle the struggle any longer. Every word you wrote spoke directly to my heart because I have been right where you are... it’s been a little over a year... may they both fly high with the angels... it’s never easy for the ones left behind.
What a wonderful gift he was to the recipients of his generosity. And a blessing to know that somehow his life will go on, through others. Prayers and condolences for you and your family.
mary thowe
September 18, 2018
thought ,prayers and alot of hugs to the family. I did not know this young man. My family went though the same thing 7 years ago and the pain doesn't go away. Know y'all are in my thoughts and prayers.
Jaye Parkerson
September 18, 2018
I didn't know this beautiful young man but we share a birthday. I also had a young gal come into my life who is living among Angels forever 21. I have her tattoo'd on my shoulder as she is my daughter just not by birth but by God's love. Heaven must be a beautiful place. And remember he accepts the sick not the wicked so they are safe and pain free. They don't want us to cry. I try to live life happy knowing someday we will be reunited. In Heaven I hope to meet this amazing young man born on a very special day.
Tammy Atkinson
September 17, 2018
Thank you. We are living as you did and still do. Scared for what the future holds for us and our son who we adopted at 16 months of age, now 15 years old. Bless you all. 💞
Cyndi Chapman
September 17, 2018
Memory eternal!’ Thank you for sharing your story but more importantly Nate’s!! What a struggle yet a marvelous young soul! ACE is real and happening every day! Thank you for caring about children we need the entire world to understand this. RIP Nate!! Sorry for your loss!!
Sarah Hulcy
September 17, 2018
I am so saddened for your loss but want to thank you for helping to bring awareness to this issue. I have one son that is 17 and has suffered from depression for the last year and low self-esteme his entire life. I also have a 13 year old that suffers from sever PTSD as the had of his biological mother and been misdiagnosed for years. I worry every day that one or both of them will make today their last day. I pray that God holds you near during this time and forever.
Shawna Smith-Harff
September 17, 2018
I do not know this handsome young man, but this obituary was wonderful. I was adopted as well and there's just so much emotional and mental anguish one goes through. I am so sorry that this young man's life ended way too soon. I lift up your family in prayer and hope that God will wrap his arms around you and carry you in the days to come.
Teresa Butt
September 17, 2018
I lost a 17 year old nephew due to an untreated mental health issues. Sending you many prayers and positive thoughts during this sorrow!
Matt Smith
September 17, 2018
My condolences
Linda Herman
September 17, 2018
My husband is a kidney transplant recipient from a young girl who died of a drug overdose. He was 43 when his kidney's failed due to polycystic Kidney disease. It's a genetic disease, we were only able to have one child, and because of this amazing gift, wanted to have a second child. We became licensed foster parents with a goal of adoption. We brought home a beautiful, helpless 2 year old little girl, severely abused, neglected and tested positive for methamphetamine. She's now 8, and your son's description matches her own so well. Every day is a struggle, her anger overwhelms her and us. All the therapy and medications don't fix this, while I'm scared for all of us, we have to attempt to make a difference and help these kids, they deserve better. May you and your children receive life's richest blessings for the difference you made in his life! Not many dare to step out of their comfort zone, and what a difference it's made for more than you'll ever know! As you deeply touched and changed his life, he has given life in return!
Rebecca Brindle
September 16, 2018
Rest in peace Nate. My condolances to his family. He is so young and handsome. I have a daughter currently in college at UGA. This past spring she had to take incompletes in her classes because of overwhelming anxiety and depression. I am one of the lucky ones.....so far. She came home and got psychiatric help and although she still struggles, she is still alive. I stay on edge though because I lost an older sister to suicide and I've also tried to take my own life....when I was fifteen years old. Life is hard. Tremendously more so when children live with trauma. What a generous and caring young soul your son was to become an organ donor.
Laura Temple
September 16, 2018
Thank you, Smith family, for your very open sharing. Early trauma causes SO Many Many scars, these kids often are fighting for their lives. They are so pressured to "move on", or "get past it" by people who may be kind, but ignorant. They don't see the mental and emotional scars that are every bit as disfiguring as physical scars would be. I pray for all of my children - both homegrown and hand picked - that they overcome the traumas of their childhood and find a place of resolution and restoration. To allow the brokenness to be filled with gold, like the Kintsugi bowls. To allow the canyons dug in the heart and soul by injury and sorrow to be filled with joy and hope and by the love of God and those who love (as Kahlil Gibran writes about).
Someday, the Lord will restore all that was injured and wounded. Until then, I hope and pray that our beloved children will find the peace to live.
May your son's memory be eternal in the mind of God.
Chanel Barrera-Wolf
September 15, 2018
Rest easy Nate... I'm sadden that you left this world too soon dear cousin, and it makes me sad knowing that your little one won't get to know you and grow with you by his side. Be sure to watch over that beautiful baby of yours always. Our love and thoughts are with your family.
Love always,
Chanel, Cesar and Calypso Barrera-Wolf
Mary Lacey
September 15, 2018
I'm so sorry for your loss praying for you and your family May God bless you all. RIP Nathan
Alishia Buhr
September 15, 2018
I'm so sorr for your loss, I have 6 kids and a grandson, I also suffer from bipolar, depression, anxiety, PTSD from years of abuse, and on lots of meds and suffer everyday. I to attempted April 13th, 2018. I wasnt successful for that I'm grateful, but I still suffer everyday, in anyway and nobody knows what it's like. Thank you for sharing your story. Nathan is my sons age. And he has lost so many friends to suicide!
Edith Smith
September 15, 2018
A friend of mine shared this on FB. I didnt recognize the nane; however, felt drawn to read it to the end. As a nurse for 29 yrs, most of my experience, and passion, was an ER nurse, with focus on pediatrics, forensic nursing, and psychiatric nursing. I am the mother of 5 sons. One battles fro. Bipolar, and once shot himself in the chest...missing his heart by less than an inch. My 2 younger sons were the victims of heroin addiction at ages 14 and 15. They are now 21 and 22, sober, and helping others. I have so many friends that have lost a child, some to trauma, but many to suicide. Life is hard for our children...despite the goodness, or the strong family presence. Their needs to be more awareness. Parents need to take their blinders off, thinking this can not ever be my child. Mothers and fathers should never have to bury a child. To Nathan's family...I will keep you all in my prayers. And, may his death bring increased awareness!
Laura Lee
September 15, 2018
I have a 19 year old son and 16 year old daughter. I’ve raised them on my own and our life has been challenging. The thought of losing either one of them is beyond comprehension. My best friend lost her 19 year old son to suicide. Thank you for sharing Nathan’s story. Awareness is key. You’re an amazing, strong family. Keep going. Keep sharing your story and your love so healing and expansion unfolds.
Lezlie Hammer
September 14, 2018
I do not know your family personally, but a family member (of mine) shared this on Facebook. I too understand Nate's hardships. I was born from a family that struggled with mental illnesses and was in foster care for the first two years of my life. Though I got adopted, there were still traumatic experiences within my new family. It's been a hard road, everyday dealing with depression, anxiety and the physical effects that come along with that. I've always battled thoughts of suicide, but fortunately got help before taking things too far. All I can say at this hard time is that you can rest knowing that Nate is no longer in pain and that God has promised a time when He will resurrect our loved ones and we'll live under perfect conditions on a paradise earth (2 Corinthians 1:3,4; Isaiah 25:8; John 5:28; Revelation 21:3,4). Here's an online Bible-based article that I found to help me through devasting losses of loved ones: (https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&pub=we&srcid=share)
Many prayers for your family and friends!
Bethann Johnson
September 14, 2018
So beautifully written brought tears to my eyes. I’m so sorry for the loss of such an amazing young man. If only he could see how loved he was and forget about anything else. I too know it’s so hard to do just that. All my life I yearned for a mother figure even though she was always there too many times I wished she was someone else capable of loving me like I should be. My out was vowing to be just that for my two but sadly pain still never fully goes away. May you Rest In Peace sweet Nathan and look after your mom, dad, sister and brother.
Teresa Page
September 14, 2018
I do not know your family but seen this shared on Facebook. I lost my son to suicide May 5th, 2016. It was a shock to our entire family and his friends. He kept his thoughts of suicide to himself except for a couple of friends. I guess they didn’t think he would really ever do it.
Well he did. And now I will never see my son turn 30, grow gray, have grandchildren by my son, watch him build his life.
He was a born again Christian and for that I’m thankful. He was heartbroken over the poor choices many around him were making. And I think eventually it broke his spirit.
But thankfully God had his soul.
It is a hard journey losing a child. One I never ever thought I would be taking!
God bless you and your family as you face the days, weeks, months, years ahead.
Thereasa Hubbard
September 14, 2018
What a beautiful tribute! God bless your family and your beautiful son. Very sorry for your loss.
Virginia Sturgeon
September 13, 2018
I do not know you, however, I want to tell you how sorry I am about the loss of your son. I also want to thank you for sharing his story. As an adoption specialist for many years I can see many of the children with whom I worked in your Nate. It also brought tears to my eyes because it is a description of my son. Thankfully he is still alive but still struggling with the traumas he experienced from spending 15 years in foster care into his 50s. We adopted him at the age of 16 and no matter how much we loved and supported him the effects of the trauma of his youth has always caused him to feel inadequate.
Thank you for your honest and loving tribute. Nate touched your life and in sharing his story you and he have touched many lives. Thank you and may you find peace
Marlena Routledge
September 13, 2018
Dear Nate's Loved Ones...
Words are so inadequate. Yet, I want to let you know I am touched by the story you've shared of Nate. I have invested much time & heart into the life of someone dear to me, who has struggled with mental health issues. Thank you for affirming it is worth it! Nate was blessed to have you for family & friends- and I can tell from what you wrote that you are blessed to have him. May your special memories bless and comfort you. God be with you all.
WEYMOUTH BROWN
September 13, 2018
Thoughts and prayers for the family. Nate is in a better place now it is time for the family to deal with his passing. God be with you all.
Randy Williams
September 13, 2018
Nate,
I never met you , except through the FB post, but my son has. His story wasn’t so different from yours. He left us last June 22, 2017.
I have no doubt that our Tyler was quick to greet you in Heaven. Tell him his mom and dad and brother and sister dearly miss him.
I have a mission here in this earth. To help all those like you and Tyler, but when that’s done, and I finally go Home, I look forward to seeing you both.
Donna Maass
September 13, 2018
Rest In Peace Nate. Your demons are done. Go to the beautiful resting place in heaven.🙏
Prayers to the family. So sorry to hear of this tragic loss.
Jackie Tanner
September 13, 2018
I didn’t know Nate personally, but through Facebook he has touched thousands of lives. Somehow I think he’d love that. As a foster mom once told me, “Every child deserves to be loved and cared for.” Rest In Peace, Nate.
Kelly Plehn
September 13, 2018
What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful son. It touched my soul. My condolences to your family. I can not imagine what you guys are going through, but my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Donna Appold
September 13, 2018
I am a mental health therapist and while I do not know Nate personally, I know many, many people like him who struggle with the daily negative beliefs about who they are due to childhood trauma. I am blessed and honored to be a part of the journey for those who open their hearts and lives to me and I pray daily for God to give me His words to touch His perfect creation in a way where they innately feel His love and reason for being. My deepest condolences for your loss...xo
Vicky Davis
September 13, 2018
I also saw this through Facebook. My words would pale in comparison to the tribute and message regarding your sweet young man, Nate. Love and hugs to Nate , your family and all that knew him.
Kay Swann
September 13, 2018
I came across this on a friend's Facebook page. I didn't know Nathan, but I have friends who have adopted children who've experienced traumatic childhoods.... the first 3 years of a child's life are the most formidable and precious years. I was so saddened and heartbroken to read about Nathan's passing. I have been a volunteer for my local child advocacy center for 18 years now. I send you my heartfelt condolences, and my heart breaks for you.
Erin NeSmith
September 13, 2018
This came across my FB Page and I stopped to read it. As an adult, I battle my childhood traumas daily. And, I have devoted my career and life to supporting teens in and aging out of foster care as they try to cope with their traumas and hold onto a semblance of valuable life experiences in the process. What I love about how you are remembering your precious son is that it he was beautiful even in his imperfection. You captured that so eloquently. Our trauma, anyone’s trauma, is hell but it can also be our beauty. Thank you for sharing. My heart goes out to you for your loss. He sounds magnificent.
Amy Lawrence
September 13, 2018
I am sorry that I missed the opportunity to know your Nathan but I also adopted a child from a traumatic early years. I know the struggle of anxiety, anger, and loss that my kid doesnt even understand. It's mentally exhausting for everyone involved. I also know that our moments of joy are even more precious. I will be praying for your family. Praying that you know peace and blessing like never before and that your open heart and bravery in sharing your story will encourage potential parents to love someone that struggles to live themselves.
Pam Benôit
September 13, 2018
This was shared on my fb page, and Im grateful I saw it. What a beautiful soul he was, with beautiful parents. I’m so glad he had you. How wonderful it was of you to adopt him.
I know what it’s like to fight that demon. But now he is in Gods arms and can be at peace. I will pray for your family. ❤️❤️❤️
KerriAnn M
September 13, 2018
I'm not sure if you realized that Nate's obituary was going to go viral, and I am not sure how you about the fact that it has. I hope you see it as the blessing it is, to so very many people.
I'm a pediatrician, and after being away from the classroom since 1999... Nate's entire lifetime... I started a masters program in Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health just last week. When it gets tough to balance a busy medical practice, aging parents and school all at once, Nate's will be another one of the faces I see that will keep me going. This work is important. Recognizing, diagnosing and mitigating early childhood trauma and historical trauma is important. Your roll, and Nate's, in spreading the message is a priceless gift to all those bright, vibrant children who are in the system and those who suffer in silence.
Sarah Smith
September 13, 2018
I don’t know your son...What I do know though, is that you were able to provide a strong message in such a difficult time while still honoring him. That takes so much courage. Thank you for such a selfless act during such a hard time. My family just lost my younger brother last year to a life time battle of anxiety and depression. It’s been the most challenging thing my family has ever been through. I wish you all the best through the grieving process. Hugs <3
Teresa Lawson
September 13, 2018
I didn't have the honor of knowing Nathan; I truly wished I did. My only child, My Daughter deals with depression. I am blessed that she reach out for help and continues to be moving in the right direction.
To know that Nate had a Loving Family that loved him is comforting. I pray that anyone that deals with depression, etc gets the help they need. That they have the courage to reach out. I pray for your family, that God will ease the pain. You will have Jewels in your crown for sharing your Love with Nate.
May God continue to hold your family in the palm of his hands.
God Bless You and Your Entire Family!
Robin Jones
September 13, 2018
I don't know this beautiful boy, but my heart and soul aches for him and his family. I lost my 16 year old a year ago. In my opinion, the loss doesn't get easier. I struggle every single day of my life.
May you be easy on your self and may God bless you ❤💜💙
Vicki Coash
September 13, 2018
I never met your precious son or any member of his family, but I do share the death by suicide of my adopted son with you. My heart breaks with you as it did 15 months ago when my son died. I can’t tell you that your pain will go away or even become easier to bear, but I can tell you that it will get easier to face each day and that the love you shared with your son will never go away and the good times that you shared will become easier to remember. Lean on your family and friends and talk to someone...your pastor, a therapist, a chaplain, a grief group or someone who has been where you are now. May God bless you and hold you close in the days, months and years ahead. My deepest sorrow is with you and I will hold you in my prayers, Vicki C.
Kathy Morrissey
September 12, 2018
God Bless your precious son and your family. I suffer with depression and anxiety most of the time. Lots of good days but battling more days. I pray for all to get the help that is needed.
Samantha Walker
September 12, 2018
I did not know your beautiful son, but I wish I had. This was actually shared by a friend of mine on FB and it is quite possibly the most beautiful tribute I’ve ever read. Normally I would not read random obituaries but as a mother to boys his age, I felt compelled. As someone who has friends and family who live with depression, and several who have survived child hood trauma, I know how helpless you can feel sometimes because no matter what you do you cannot heal the one you love. Most of them made it through but I lost a few along the way. Thank you for sharing your son and his story. May you find strength in each other and your memories of him.
Angelia Bono
September 12, 2018
I received this through my sister in law. I wish had been blessed to know this beautiful boy. That smile! I've taught young boys with similar backgrounds, and it is heartbreaking. How lucky Nate had your family. Your message is one that many can relate to. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Rebekah Rayment
September 12, 2018
Hello I live in Melbourne Australia , I dont know your son I read his story on facebook I want you to know that I too was adopted but at 9 weeks old and I too have fought depression and at times it has been really hard , but with Jesus I can do all things , I never take my eyes off Jesus because if I do Satan will be there to try and take me away from my Heavenly Father , I am so sorry for your loss and that Nate went through darkness and suffered greatly , I now he fought his demons daily bravely , Life can be so hard , I know all too well , I know that Jesus is putting his loving arms around you all because he feels your pain and great loss Love in Jesus your friend down under Rebekah
Abrazo Adoption
September 12, 2018
We were not blessed to know your beloved Nate in this lifetime, but we know the world is full of kids who deserve loving homes, and yet, who are so broken before (or even if) they get them that no family, however nurturing, can magically fix all the wounds deep within their souls. The Abrazo community lifts Nathan's adoptive family, birthfamily, and friends in our thoughts and prayers in this time of sorrow. We give thanks for all those who sought to help build this young man up, and we wish you the peace that passes understanding as you grieve this great loss. The beautifully-written online obituary has helped Nathan's story touch the hearts of countless people far beyond Edmund, and will help ensure that his all-too-brief life is not forgotten.
Deborah Spencer
September 12, 2018
Our deepest condolences. We , too, adopted a young boy from Romania, and like Nate, his past haunted him. We definitely feel your pain as we lost him just shy of his 22nd birthday. Our only consolation is that he was
introduced and accepted Christ while in our earthly home. Prayers for peace.
Mary Mitchell
September 12, 2018
I didn't know Nate but I've been spending my days lately fighting for little kids who are living in cars and abandoned buildings. Thanks for your eloquence about the impact of trauma, ACE's and the need for care. It has to be said again and again and again. For some reason, the idea that children are resilient or poverty is a family's fault seems to override compassion, good judgment and policies that impart that these kids matter from day 1.
Vanessa Conner
September 12, 2018
I am so sorry for your loss......I wanted to tell you from a mom of four very damaged foster children that we adopted years ago now in their teens how grateful I am for your added personal information to try and make people aware. My prayers go to you and your family. Thank you for sharing and please everyone share this for awareness. Childhood trauma never goes away. :(
Liz Polley
September 12, 2018
I also received this through a friend, who lives in Canada, on social media. I’m truly sorry for the pain you are suffering from the loss of your dear son! He sounds like an amazing young man. Our prayers and love go out to you and your family.
I understand the memories and traumas that follow adopted and fostered children. I am an adoptive mom! We need to be more educated in the trauma of these children, no matter when the trauma occurred even during pregnancy. We need to know the mental health of the biological family, so we can better be prepared to help our children. Our children are worth it, these deserve it.
From one adopted mother to another, hugs my friend and all my love!
Kathy Howell
September 12, 2018
Received this post through social
media. Nate’s captivating smile and his short life brought love and laughter to all that knew him. He must have been a very special young man. May you be comforted at this time knowing he is at peace. Prayers.
Joy Barrett
September 12, 2018
I never thought I could morn a child I've never met, but I'm. My heart aches for you & your family. Prayers for all!
Lori Osborne
September 12, 2018
I too received this story through social media, and my heart breaks for your family. It sounds like Nathan was an incredible young man, and you lost him way too soon. My thoughts and prayers go out to your family, and to everyone else going through mental illness.
William Xifaras
September 12, 2018
Although I didn't know Nate, I want to leave my condolences to his family. His story, is similar to many others, including some in my family. God bless you Nate. May you rest in peace and God always keep you close.
Jennifer Whitten
September 12, 2018
My heart hurts for Nathan’s Family and for him. I have battled mental illness due to post traumatic stress related to 15 years of sexual abuse at the hands of a family friend. I hope our country becomes more proactive in prevention of sexual abuse and increase in consequences for these preditors. The effects of these childhood traumas have lifelong affects and treatment should be provided without financial burden to the survivor. Rest In Peace Nathan. You placed your mark for those that need help.......
Alyssa Goss
September 12, 2018
I did not know Nathan, I also found his story through social media.. but I know how childhood trauma and foster care can change a person. Mental illness is a hard thing to overcome, I pray that he has found peace and that his family has as well. He was gone too soon, but he’ll always be in your hearts. God bless.
Dee Matias
September 12, 2018
God bless your entire family! Imagine if the entire World had more people like your family. You took Nate in and loved him until his last breath. He received love he may have never known, if it hadnt been for your family. I cant imagine the grief you’re feeling. His mind and body are at peace and the Lord is wrapping his arms around him now. Prayers for your family from my family in Nj
Teresa Bennett
September 12, 2018
I do not know Nathan and I am also here by the power of Social media! I was so very moved by his story I wanted to offer my condolences to his family! I am so very sorry for your loss of this bright young man! I wish I had known him or met him as his smile is amazing and I am sure he lit up the room. Thank you so very much for sharing his story during this difficult time!
Lois Cornpropst
September 11, 2018
I did not know your precious son nor do I know you, but thank you for sharing such a beautiful tribute. Your son had many wounds deep inside that just never healed but festered and infected other pieces of himself. You are a special family to at a time of hurt and grief within yourselves are able to share such a message that could help/save another.
Blessings to all of you.
Lois Cornpropst
Colleen Fowler-Alden
September 11, 2018
I came across this obituary because a friend shared it. It is the sadest and sweetest I've ever read. I have no connection to this sweet kid but I hope that he found peace. I also hope this helps open up awareness for fostering. Opening up your heart and home to foster kids is just so amazing!
God be with you all.
Robin Cecil
September 11, 2018
God bless you Nate and your family. Much love coming from Iowa. <3
Sue Moore
September 11, 2018
Along with many others, I came across Nate’s obituary through social media. Reading this makes me so sad for Nate and all the sadness he must have felt inside, he just wanted to belong.
My prayers and condolences to your family on your tremendous loss, what a beautiful smile he had.
Kevin Hollingshead
September 11, 2018
I have a 10-year-old son who we adopted after many years in foster care. He was not wanted...by anyone. He has a loving and generous heart, which holds so much pain. A gentle nature that struggles to control the rage inside. Your words hold power and remind me how very precious each son is. Thank you.
Mary Kay Gore
September 11, 2018
I am so sorry for the passing of your beautiful son. I did not know him, however I wished I would have gotten to. What a beautiful tribute to him. Thank you for sharing his story, may others that are struggling as he did, be blessed and find peace. May our loving God comfort you as only He can.
Dollie Johnson
September 11, 2018
I did not know you or your son, but what a heartfelt well written story through your eyes. I am currently fostering a great niece who has alot of similar things surrounding her. We struggle everyday with a society that seems to not understand. I hope you find peace knowing you are not alone and even though my words are few i do hope you find comfort and healing to get you and your family through the days ahead.
Lykke Grace
September 11, 2018
I don’t know Nate. I don’t know you. I got here by the magic of social media. This is the most moving obituary I have ever read. I shed tears for you and for him. I promise to carry your words in my heart.
MaryAnn Mittendorf
September 11, 2018
What a beautiful smile .. I’m so sorry for your loss and Nathan’s struggles on this earth. Thank you for giving that child what his birth parents failed to do. I’m sure he felt your love ten times over... RIP beautiful guy💙
Lynn Swanson
September 11, 2018
Like others I didn’t know Nate and his family but, am moved to offer my condolences. What a beautiful tribute Nate’s obituary is! I pray for his family and friends. May the Lord bless and keep you❤️
Rhonda Colvin
September 11, 2018
Thanks for sharing this story. There are so many symptoms like this that tell us something has gone wrong with our society. We have to change! Our children have to be loved and protected. This is the only way we can save them from school shootings, suicide, drugs and self-destruction. God bless you and all who loved and cared for Nate and for those who care for other Nate's in the world.
Tina Paczek
September 11, 2018
I am so sorry to hear of Nate's passing. As an adoptive mom, I can only imagine the anguish you feel at not being able to fix this for him. From your amazing words, it's obvious you tried so hard. Your poor boy was suffering a pain only he himself could fully understand. May he rest peacefully at God's side, knowing he made many lives better because of who he was. God bless your family during this tragic time.
Russ and Tori Taff
September 11, 2018
We are so terribly, terribly sorry for the loss of your son. Childhood trauma has roots that go to the core of a child's spirit, and sometimes all the love and support in the world can't quite wipe it out. Thank you for loving him so well, and our prayer is that your hearts will be comforted by the knowledge that you did everything you possibly could.
Lisa McIntosh
September 11, 2018
What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul. It is obvious Nate brought sunshine to your lives. May God continue to bring your family comfort and peace in this sorrowful time. Continued prayers for you all.
Lisa McIntosh
Gilbert, SC
Deb Nykamp
September 11, 2018
I did not know Nathan but was touched by his obituary. Please accept my sincere condolences and thank you for bringing awareness to mental health. He sounds awesome and I wish I had known him. Prayers for your family.
Annette Botzum
September 11, 2018
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. May God comfort you.
Lynne Trotter
September 11, 2018
I did not have the honor of meeting or knowing your precious child but I wanted to convey my sympathies. Prayers for all of you.
Devon Wayne
September 11, 2018
I , like many others on this page ,do not know Nate but your words brought him into my heart and I’m so very sorry
Your story is such an important one because we must be aware of how prevalent this is. It’s a cruel train they’ve been put on by fate and the tragedy is seeing it played out this way
My sincerest sympathies
Devon Wayne
Durango Co
Jennifer Elba
September 11, 2018
I never knew Nate, but I have my only 1 son finishing last year in college. I feel your pain. Anytime I hear about death on a young child, I am sad. May God give your family strength and may he continue to rest in perfect peace 🕯
Carol Bauman
September 11, 2018
Hi don’t know you nor did I know your son. I’m so sorry for your loss of who was, despite his pain, a light to so many. I have three adopted kids. Kids from hard places with significant childhood trauma. The ripple effects of their trauma has devestated our family, shredded my heart, and exhausted my hope. Trauma coupled with mental illness is unbearable for everyone. I’m so sorry. I’ve come to realize we are only here for a time and thanks be to God for that. For surely the riches in heaven will forever erase the pain and sorrow we all feel. I trust your Nate is restored and healed! Again, though I don’t know you, I pray for you and hurt with you. All the while faintly knowing our hearts will be mended again.
Jackie Sanders
September 11, 2018
I personally do not know your family or Nate. I read these beautiful words that you wrote of a beautiful young man, this really touched my heart. Thank you for giving Nate a family, it's obvious that you truly loved him and he truly loved you. I am truly sorry for the loss of your son, happy to see that he will be living thru others because of his decision to be an organ donor. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Fly high, Nate.
Karen Biggerstaff
September 11, 2018
I didn’t know Nathan. A friend shared his obituary. I’m am so sorry for your loss. I can tell how much you loved Nathan and how remarkable he was. Thank you for making him a part of your family for the short time he was with you. His obituary is one I won’t forget. RIP Nathan.
Shane Thompson
September 11, 2018
I do not know you. But I am familiar,in a way, with your son's story. I adopted a 14 year old boy in 2015 and lost him in an accident this April. I can't take away your pain,but I understand it and can share it. Love and prayers to you all. I am confident that in spite of his pain, Nathan brought hope and joy to others.
emilyruss@gmail.com emilyruss@gmail.com
September 11, 2018
This is the most honest, brave, and beautiful account of someone's life that I have ever read. I don't know you or Nate, so I hope you will forgive my intrusion, but I wanted you to know how much I admire you and your sweet son. My husband's family has experience with Foster Care and I've witnessed some of the challenges and the blessings. I believe God will make up for the hard things that these strong souls had to endure in this life and that someday you will see your beautiful son in all his perfect glory. (Jeffrey Holland gave a great talk on this subject called "like a broken vessel" if you're interested.) God bless you for your courage and love. Your family will be in my prayers.
Jacquelyn Mills
September 11, 2018
Thank you for sharing this beautiful legacy for Nate. My heart is with the family and friends that embraced and made his life a little sweeter, Rest In Peace Nate.
Denise Woods
September 11, 2018
I wish I could have known Nathan ❤I am praying for you all
Holly Zachman
September 11, 2018
Nate sounds like he was an amazing young man. I wish that his young life filled with trauma didn't blur his view of what a wonderful person he was.
Rest peacefully sweet Nate.
May love and peace surround your family today and always.❤🙏
Bettie Asher
September 11, 2018
I do not know your family, but my cousin shared this obituary. I am so very sorry for your loss. Your words have touched me deeply and I know they will touch others. God bless you for loving this wonderful boy. Please know that I will give extra hugs and love to the people in my care today. RIP Nathan. No doubt you were loved beyond measure.
Hugs from Texas
Ellen Kinser
September 11, 2018
Peace be with your family.
Vickie Anast
September 10, 2018
Your blessings will help others and remind us all to keep asking what we can do to help. May God wrap his loving arms around Nathan and also may God give you strength. Thank you for loving Nathan.
Corey Tenney
September 10, 2018
Thank you so much for taking care of this awesome boy who became a man too soon I am afraid. Your memory was wonderful to read, and sad at the same time. RIP Nate. We are foster parents and I worry about the trauma that these kids have every single day... they hold it inside and cry when they think nobody is looking.
Kristin Munson
September 10, 2018
I am so sorry for your loss. I didn’t know your son but read his obituary this morning and it brought tears to my eyes and stuck with me all day. I am an attorney working in the child welfare system. Your story was such a reminder of the harsh reality of the effects of adverse childhood experiences and life long trauma. I picture what that handsome young man would have looked like as a little boy and I see his face in the children I represent every day. I shared your story with fellow attorneys, our deprived child court judge and many caseworkers. I wanted you to know how much we all appreciate you sharing his story with us and that we will remember Nathan in the work we do. Thinking of your family and praying for peace during this difficult time.
Love from Kansas
Nancy Jurgens
September 10, 2018
How my heart breaks for all those who loved this young man and who were there for him. May God wrap you in His loving arms and make things a not so hard. I lost my son also to another disease called cancer when he was 12, but mental illness is just as devastating and hurts just the same. We never get over losing a child. May peace be with you and know others care.
Connie Peebles
September 10, 2018
I do not know your family but how amazing are all of you! My family struggles with mental illness and depression. It can take its toll. However by you speaking out you have given a face and voice to this disease and probably saved a life.
God bless,
Connie Peebles
Lyons, Ohio
Christy Kendrick
September 10, 2018
We also have adopted a child who experienced childhood trauma. The love you have for your son shines through your words. Bless you and your precious family during this horribly difficult time. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your son with us all!!!!
lisa barnette
September 10, 2018
My deepest sympathy and prayers for your unimaginable loss. Thank you for sharing Nate's story so that others might learn from it. Thank you to Nate and to you for the gift of organ donation so that other families can receive comfort from your pain.
Teri Tarver
September 10, 2018
I also adopted my daughter who is also 19. Her mental challenges are many but I couldn’t love her more. My heart breaks for you and your family. May God bring you peace and comfort now and always. Nate was very blessed and so were each of you🙏
Alice Baker
September 10, 2018
As painful as it was to share Nathan's story, your courage will have helped who knows how many - and will help who knows how many to help themselves and therefore others. Thank You. May Nathan's friends and family be held up in peace and love.
Kathy Johnson
September 10, 2018
I don’t know Nate or your precious family but I do know the impact of early childhood trauma on children. Thank you for your brave memorial sharing your journey while encouraging others. You’re in my prayers.
Love from Norman, OK
Wayland Muncrief
September 10, 2018
I didn’t know Nathan nor do I know the Smith family ! I read this obituary that was shared by a friend on Facebook. It really touched me and I wanted the family to know that you ARE some of God’s angels on earth ! You accepted a young man who had nothing and gave him everything,...a family, someone who loved him, someone who wanted him ! Maybe he wasn’t able to overcome his mental struggles here on earth, but I’m sure he’s smiling down from heaven and will always be in your hearts !
Michael Smalling
September 10, 2018
I'm so sorry to hear about Nate. What a wonderful young person he must have been, and it hurts all of us that he left this world so soon. God comfort you. God comfort you.
Dr. Vanessa Dahn
September 10, 2018
Thank you for sharing Nate's life with us. What a powerful account of the footprint Nate left on the planet. My family can attest to the need our society has for having concern for system children, and the dire need for taking positive actions that benefit the children who end up in foster care. My family provided care for hundreds of male teens that ended up in the custody of DHS, adopting three from the system and four others that almost ended up there. We have provided a shoulder to cry on, held hands of, and encouraged SO MANY boys-who, to no fault of their own, ended up trekking down a path they did not choose for themselves. These children, no matter how many interventions are made, almost always cannot get over the abuse or neglect they were made to endure. Oddly enough, they almost always as well, held internal loyalties toward their bio parent(s) and for the life that could have been. But this internal loyalty, and the conflicting feelings they hold, cannot stop us from caring and providing the safety net they so desperately need throughout their growth and developmental process. Sometimes they push back SO HARD to those providing care and love, so when people pull back when it just becomes too much, they can say, "See?? They really didn't care about me!" in order to feel validated in their feelings that NO ONE cares...not even in the least, their bio parents who are supposed to validate their existence. This self-fulfilling prophecy is directly related to self-preservation.
Our heartfelt thanks to your family, AND for all of those who didn't have it in their heart to treat Nate with a NIMBY mentality when he was not on his best footing along the way. May you have many incredible memories to lean on and sustain your hearts when the loss of Nate tries to pull you under...
Donna Norman
September 10, 2018
Beautiful word's Nate was special to you and it shows!🙏
Lynette Mohr
September 10, 2018
I don't know any of you but I am so so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the heart ache. May God bless you with strength and endurance to carry on.
We also adopted a son that deals with a lot of trauma, heart ache, questions, confusion, disappointment and the list continues. Exactly like you say, everything depends on the day, the mood and the Doctors.
However I remind myself that my son(also 19 and adopted) is a blessing and it would be terrible to loose him. Sending (((((HUGS))))) ❤
Valerie Fuller
September 10, 2018
I didn't know Nate or your family, but it is evident in your words that he was a wonderful young man and deeply loved by many. Thank you for sharing so that others may learn about what childhood trauma can cause its victims. I have many friends that are foster parents and I'm sure that some of them have had similar experiences. May God Richly Bless Your Family and surround you with HIS comfort, strength and peace.❤🙏❤
Todd H
September 10, 2018
I did not know this extraordinary young man. Thank you for sharing this tribute and we are praying for those in pain from these kind of circumstances.
T & L
Twyla Carpenter
September 10, 2018
So sad but so happy that you had Nate for as long as you did. Hugs to you all. Nate was so lucky to have you all as his family.
C H
September 10, 2018
Beautiful tribute. My heart aches to read about the buried trauma he carried. While my best friend lay dying at this moment from cancer, reading this gives me hope. And makes me want to make better choices and be more loving and surrender completely in an area I struggle to let God control. What you shared, is inspiring. You used the story of Nathan to shed light and chance lives. Thank you. God bless you and your family and may He be your source of comfort and strength.
Sandy White
September 10, 2018
I did not know this young, troubled man, but I want to thank you for sharing his story that others may become more aware. A life that ended way too soon because of unawareness or misunderstanding on the part of others. I hope the sharing of his story is the salvation of others with similar life experiences. My prayers for all of you
Teri Wargo
September 10, 2018
May you all find peace and comfort in the months to come... This was a beautiful tribute honoring your son Nathan!
God Bless you all ❤️🙏🏻
Angie Quandt
September 10, 2018
I do not know Nate or your family. This is a beautiful tribute to your son. Thank you so much for sharing this so we can all be aware. God Bless you!
Angie Quandt
Kathy Genet
September 10, 2018
That was a beautiful memorial to your son. I wish you peace and love when you feel pain and loss. Thank you for educating me about the effects of early childhood trauma. I learned by reading this.
Tawny McGehee
September 10, 2018
I do not know you nor did I know Nathan. I do thank you for sharing his story and am super grateful he was an organ donor. God is taking care of Nathan now and he is finally at peace. Prayers to you and your family at this time.
Deanna Stringfield
September 10, 2018
I am so sorry for your loss. I work with children of trauma and I pray every day that they overcome their losses to find peace and love in their lifetimes. Bless you for helping Nate with his.
Krista Meyer
September 10, 2018
I stumbled across Nate’s story when a friend shared this page on Facebook. I believe it’s the most powerful, meaningful obituary I’ve ever read, and I’ve shared it so Nate’s and your stories can be heard by more people.
It’s obvious you’re a family that loves deeply, and that shows in all of the little details you shared about Nate. My heart aches for the pain Nate battled and the pain you’re all left with. I’m praying that, out of the heartache, beauty will eventually rise and the lives of other vulnerable children will be changed.
Thank you for your openness. Thank you for giving us a chance to “know” Nate through your words.
Kathryn Kolencik
September 10, 2018
This story touched me as did so many of these thoughtful comments. We recently adopted two little boys after 2.5 years in care and we plan to continue to foster. I agree - sharing your son’s story is such a gift and so inspiring. I grieve with you but I also rejoice with you for all he was and all you shared. <3
Sally Stansbury
September 10, 2018
My deepest condolences to your family and friends. I will be proactive and take you up one a couple of your suggestions. I want change too. God be with you.
Amy Proctor
September 10, 2018
Thank you for sharing your story. I am praying that your family finds comfort, joy and peace through this process. The world needs more loving people like yourself. Every person we meet has a story to tell. I am sorry Nate's was told through his death but please know how much your words are meaning.
Annie Lewis
September 10, 2018
I want to say how much your memorial to Nate meant to me!
My husband and I adopted 3 little boys, one of which has emotional issues!
When I read your words... it was just like I was in your shoes!
Thank you so much for what you did!!
Myra DeLuca
September 10, 2018
My heart is broken for your family. We too are raising adopted, traumatized boys. Your tribute to your son is so eye opening to those outside this reality. Your loss and tragedy has ALREADY made a positive impact on others. I hope in the future you can continue to use your gift of writing to further educate about the impact of childhood trauma and share Nathan’s story. Praying everyday for your family.
Tonya Vallad
September 10, 2018
I am sorry for your loss
Dr Vivian Dorsett
September 10, 2018
To the Smith family,
First let me say, all my love to your family and friends. . I do not know you personally, and have never met your family nor Nathan. I found your story on social media and it touched my heart. I can personally relate, I just happened to have survived. We are losing too many foster care alumni, trauma is real. Thank you for loving him. And I wish healing for you all in this time of sorrow.
Claudia Rabinowitz
September 10, 2018
I am so sorry for your lost .. thank you for giving him the life and the love he always deserved ... despite his sorrows .. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Roschelle Ogbuji
September 10, 2018
I am a mother of 5 beautiful girls. I lost 3 of them in a house fire 11 years ago. My youngest daughter Anya was an organ donor and saved 2 lives. I am also a chaplain and an trauma informed care spiritual direction life coach. Trauma is real and the effects on children are lasting. I will be continuing to work on my end to help those I come in contact with to help them on their journey. We are all partners in this journey of grief and overcoming trauma together. Let me know how I can help or support. Much love!
R.
Anonymous Anonymous
September 10, 2018
My heart breaks for your family to hear of your loss.. I'm so glad he had you and your unconditional love for the time he did. This hurt my heart close to home. I have an adopted little I worry about and we are fighting so hard for his sister to be able to be adopted as well because of the trauma we know she will endure otherwise
Steve Price
September 10, 2018
Deeply sorry for this tragic loss.No words.
Thank you for sharing your story. With this deeper understanding,it's my hope that good can come from this loss.Thank you for sharing your love.May it be contagious.
jo womack
September 10, 2018
I've personally known someone an adopted foster sounding much like Nate who toughed it out till age 30. But the struggle was the same. But in general I am disabled with a mental illness and know many others in this situation. The majority of people can't understand what it's like. Once the brain chemistry changes and neural pathways are set it's nearly impossible to stop the flow of a constant barrage of self incrimination. No matter how much you tell yourself it's not true, you TRULY feel others would be happier without you to burdens ntheir lives I'm so sorry FOR YOUR LOSSS!!
Maria Hill
September 10, 2018
I didn't know Nate but he sounds like a phenomenal young man. He was very blessed to have been a part of your family, and I can only imagine how many others you have touched by sharing his adventurous soul. Prayers for his friends and family as your hearts find their new normal. <3
Lori Foster
September 10, 2018
6 years ago yesterday I adopted a beautiful baby boy from a loving woman but troubled woman that was addicted to drugs. Hoping to spare him a life of exposed to that world or worse I was grateful for the opportunity to become his mother. I worry about issues like this. Nate sounds like a beautiful young man and im so sorry for your lost. You gave him a wonderful life, one he never would have had without you as his parents. Love and light to you and your family. God speed Ned. Fly with the Angels. Happy and free of the pain you were in here on Earth.
Erma Ford
September 10, 2018
I, like so many others, did not know your Nate but I am grateful that you shared a piece of your heart with us. Praying for you and your family during this time of transition and that God blessings and peace will flow through you and your family and those that knew him.
Blessings
Christy Krispin
September 10, 2018
As a foster and adoptive parent, this hits very, very close to home. Your family and all who loved Nate are in my prayers.
Leah Carter
September 10, 2018
I wish I had know him. He was born in my hometown area a year after I graduated HS. I have adopted 3 children. I am so happy that he was able to have a famiy that loved and cared for him. I am sending prayers your way.
Shawn Churchwell
September 10, 2018
I did not know your son, but my children also lost one of their close friends 2 weeks ago because no one knew what he was feeling and going through. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you all will be able to find peace of mind. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Kim Woody
September 10, 2018
Thank you for this.
I am a high school teacher and the mom of 2 boys that have been in every intervention under the sun, from therapy to long term residential. We never know, as parents, what will bring that awful snap.
This story makes it real and I thank you for sharing it.
.
Donna Carver
September 10, 2018
Thank you for sharing Nate’s life story with us. Children absorb their surroundings like sponges. Whether their parents are awesome, average, or really, really bad. I know we hear stories, shake our heads, and can not believe the horrors adults inflict on children. You can help change the lives of foster children. Nate finally found his family; but the pain was too much. How wonderful to know he had some happiness.
I had the opportunity to volunteer in my state as a guardian ad-Litem. Go to casaforchildren.org to find out about representing children who placed in foster care. Guardian ad Litem volunteers act on the behalf of the child in court. You have the opportunity to dig deep into a child’s home life, help birth parents receive parenting classes, detail every reason a child can NOT be returned to birth parents, check foster homes. Our local government offices do not have the staff to complete thorough investigations.
My two children were adopted. At birth. Thanks to social media, my children have met their birth mothers. With my help! I was not hurt! I was so thrilled for my children to know their families. A gap was filled for them. Both. My children and their birthmothers.
Love is HUGE! Take a chance. Take a leap of faith. If you’re retired, become a volunteer guardian ad-Litem. As a person with depression and anxiety, I get my exams the same as I do dental appointments and doctor appointments for high blood pressure.
God bless you, Smith Family. You are in my prayers.
Julie Shelton
September 10, 2018
I didn't know your son. But I transported psych patients for three years, and heard so many heartbreaking stories, and I want you to know that what you wrote in the obituary is the best tribute you could possibly do.
Because maybe someone will see it and get help. Admit their struggle. Look for signs of others struggling. And someone will be saved. I wish Nate could have been.
My heart is breaking for ya'll. I will keep you in my prayers.
Steve Gunter
September 10, 2018
Though I, a retired public school teacher knew him not I share a helpful source for all who must endure trauma. The wonderful book HOLY RESILIENCE by Professor David Carr focuses on faith as the answer when suffering makes life so very difficult. Our thoughts go forth to family and friends.
Matt Steen
September 9, 2018
As a former foster kid and now a foster parent, I can sympathize with Nathan's struggles. My heart goes out to his family.
Joy Watkins
September 9, 2018
I did not know your son, but from what I have read , I wish I had! He sounds like he was a kind, loving young man. Thank you for sharing his story. Though it was sad , it was energizing also! I am so sorry for your loss! Prayers to the family and prayers that Nate rests in peace!
Katrinka Nance
September 9, 2018
I didn't know your son. I don't even know you. I felt a deep sense of love for you. I will be praying for you and your family over the next year. The death of a child is something no parent should do. May God bless you and your family. I am truly sorry for your loss.
Jennifer Waddell
September 9, 2018
I did not know your Nate, I keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Somewhere in this world I have an adopted brother that I long to know and I myself have struggled with a lifetime off pain and depression.
My favorite prayer has always been...
The nicest place to be is in someone’s thoughts,
The best place to be is in someone’s prayers,
The greatest place to be is in God’s hands.
Sending your family peace.
Sandy P
September 9, 2018
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I did not know your handsome son. But I too have adopted and fostered. Its sad what these childten go through in the beginning of their lives. All we can do is try our best for them. You did a wonderful job. He was a very precious boy. Hugs & prayers.
Charlie Parcus
September 9, 2018
Thank you for your courage, in sharing Nate's story. It is greatly appreciated. My story is very similar to Nate's. I can only give credit to God for my still being here. Lifting you guys up, to the Father. You will hug Nate again. He is healed now <>< Revelation 21:5
Michelle Davidson
September 9, 2018
Thank you, so much, for sharing Nate with us. I did not know him personally but I am also a survivor of childhood trauma and mental illness. Sharing your story will help so many families understand they are not alone and so many kids start to realize that they just may be worthy of love and forgiveness. Thank you. Nate lives on.
Cheryl Giefer
September 9, 2018
My deepest condolences; and please know, you are in the thoughts and prayers of many. Your story is so familar and I share in your sorrow. May your faith in God comfort you and keep you all the days of your lives. You are NOT alone! With love and prayers, Cheryl
Ramona Norman
September 9, 2018
I am so sorry for you're loss. Just know God has another angel, He's free. Sending prayers for healing 🙏
Donna Gandy
September 9, 2018
I did not know Nathan. I was touched by what you wrote. I, too, lost my only son 2 years ago which has been extremely devastating, indescribable. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm so sorry Nathan suffered so much and left you with that dreadful pain in your heart. God bless his soul and may he rest in peace for all eternity. May you find comfort and peace as you recall happier days. Sending warmest, loving hugs.
Arminda Morales
September 9, 2018
I read this obituary on a friend's page. I am also adopted and I understand the demons this beautiful young man wrestled with daily. How blessed he was to be loved by you all. My heart breaks for you, his family, I love that your words painted a picture of Nathan and emphasied his beautiful, funny, personality. May God give you all the peace that only He can and usher your beautiful, funny, son in to Heaven where he is no longer sick or sad but perfect and waiting for the day when he sees you all again. I am so sorry for your lost.
Deborah Sweet
September 9, 2018
Thank you for sharing your son’s story. As a foster, adoptive, and biological parent, I can feel the pain you lived with, both in life and in death. Your desire to continue to educate people about the severity of mental illness in traumatized children is truly admirable. There are so many of us right here with you. You have a village.
Rest easy, Nate. ❤️
Kristina Shallies
September 9, 2018
I don't have the privilege of knowing Nate, or his family, yet their story deeply impacts me. I'm so very truly sorry for your loss. I know there are no words to ease your grief. I lost my brother ten years ago, so am familiar with grief and loss. You will truly be in my thoughts and prayers! Both of my children are adopted from foster care, my sister was adopted at birth and the ACES scores in our family are very high. I have worked in foster care and in schools. Thank you for sharing Nate's story. I believe trauma and mental illness are often misunderstood and poorly treated in our country. Your family will be a motivator for me as I fight alongside so many others to change that. Sending love and hugs to all of you as you remember this precious young man.
Jane Huffman
September 9, 2018
I all to well understand your pain and i am sorry for your loss. My husband and I were also foster parents and adopted our only daughter when she was 11. She too could eat us out of house and home and came from a trumatic back ground. She was a free spirit full of life yet also battled mental illness, from living in 15 homes from the age of 3 to the age of 11. She lost her battle in this life March 5, 2018. She now serves in the Lords army and is no longer fighting the demons that chased her. Thank you for sharing your story and God Bless You as you continue to bless others with your beloved story of Nate.
Carolyn Norman
September 9, 2018
I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing Nathan's story.
Hill Tanner
September 9, 2018
Nathan’s Family,
I read your story through a friend’s Facebook post and I was deeply moved. Thank you for giving of yourselves to a child who deserved your love and your time. I am a psych nurse who cares for children in the “system” and I want you to know that you are my heroes. We need more loving, selfless, self-sacrificing families like you all. You are the definition of love to me. Please know we are praying for you, lifting you up, as you mourn your precious son. ~ 🙏🏼
Daryl Johnson
September 9, 2018
A friend who is a foster parent shared your story on Facebook, which is where I found it. My heart sank when I realized it was notification of an obituary of this handsome young man. God blessed you with the courage to share his story so others may learn how to recognize and cope with mental illness in a loved one. May He continue to bless you with peace and comfort in the knowledge that you made a difference in this young man's life.
Kim Porter
September 9, 2018
You do not know me. I would love to send you and your family huge hugs. Nate sounded like a wonderful son and brother. Fly high Nate. ❤️❤️
Patty Priest
September 9, 2018
Thank you for sharing Nate’s story. I was adopted at a very young age with wonderful adoptive parents. My son is also adopted with mental illness . I worry each day about his well being. Nate was fortunate to have you as parents. Many adopted children have issues that must be dealt with by loving adoptive parents. God bless your family.
Tina Shelby
September 9, 2018
I don't know you, and I didn't know Nathan, but his story broke my heart. Thank you for sharing his story in this beautifully written obituary. My prayers for Nathan's soul and for comfort and peace for his family and friends. God Bless You!
Susan Prather
September 9, 2018
Thank you for sharing your story. Though I was never in the foster system I was surrendered at birth and adopted several months later from a childrens home in Tampa Fl.
I suffered childhood trauma and was diagnosing with major depression and PTSP. I didnt know your son but I think I understand some of how he must have felt.
I commend your journey as foster parents. It takes special people to care for someone else child with the goal in mind of returning them back to their birth parents if possible.
I will be praying for you and your family.
Alicia Krob
September 9, 2018
Nathan's Family,
I am very sorry for your loss. I sit here with tears streaming down my face as I don't know any of you, but am deeply touched by what you have shared! God bless your family and know you all have an amazing angel watching over and you each will one day be reunited!
Lori Jones
September 9, 2018
My deepest sympathies. I recently lost my 21 year old son who struggled with depression, bi-polar, and probably more. My world has been shattered. He also suffered childhood trauma that he couldn’t overcome. Thank you for sharing your son’s story. It paralleled my son’s story, unfortunately. Your family will be in my prayers. Much love.
Carrie Haferkorn
September 9, 2018
I'm so sorry for your loss I just buried my 20 year old son on Friday this is the hardest thing ever he struggled with not only mental health but addiction my prayers to your family
Annette Wells
September 9, 2018
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Nathan's story. May your family find peace and comfort as time passes.
Gina Hudkins
September 9, 2018
I am so sorry for your loss. Being adopted I can relate at some point. God bless you and your family for loving Nathan.
Jo Strong
September 9, 2018
As a teacher of 40 years I have known many students who have come from atrocious circumstances. One can never fully fathom the horrors endured and the scars left. Bless you for giving your son the love and acceptance he deserved. So sorry he had such difficulty accepting and believing his worth. #youwillmeetagain
Hedde Wells
September 9, 2018
Thank you for sharing your son with the world. While I do not know you or your son, I sit here with tears streaming down my face. I will hug my children a little tighter tonight and will look for those that need help and try to make the world a better place for both my children but all the children of the world. May God Bless you and your family.
Marie Drakes
September 9, 2018
I’m sorry to hear of the death of this beautiful young man. I did not know him, but I have fostered children and witnessed their pain. My prayers go out to all those who loved and cared for him. I hope you all get to see him again in heaven, as I’m sure that’s where he is today and forever.
Ana Villa
September 9, 2018
I don’t know you but as I read your son’s obituary I was crying. It sounded like it was my brother’s obit.You see, we are all adopted as well. My brother committed suicide almost 5 years ago. Our adopted parents both Harvard graduates. My brother adopted in Chile, South America. He felt that he could never equal our parents. His diagnosis? Like you said, it depended on Dr. and day. I am a psychiatric nurse and couldn’t prevent his death!
I send you understanding and many hugs from Upstate New York!
Ana Villa
Jeff and Brian Dempkey
September 9, 2018
Thank you for telling us about your beautiful son! We are foster/adoptive parents and witness daily the damage done by childhood trauma. You are not alone and you are loved and you are heros. Nate was fortunate that you were able to love him for his final years on earth. We will pray for your family.
Sincerely,
Jeff and Brian
Jason Addis
September 9, 2018
Nathan’s family
Thank you for sharing Nathan’s story. Your son seems likes such an amazing young man. I pray that you are able to find the Lord’s grace and comfort in this time of tragedy. I pray that others will see this and not be afraid to love hard and deep.
Donald Spachman
September 9, 2018
I am sorry to read of this beautiful young man who left us too soon. In the last year I have become aware of Adverse Childhood Experiences and their affects. I will continue to champion this knowledge and will think of Nate as I do. Thanks for sharing his story.
Julie Chambers
September 9, 2018
Thank you for sharing Nate’s story. I don’t know Nate or your family but was truly moved by all the comments. I wish Nate were here to read them and feel the Love behind them. I hope these comments bring your family some comfort and know that you are bringing more attention to this epidemic. My deepest sympathy.
Charmaine Truttling
September 9, 2018
Sincere Condolences, Nate is now at peace, May the Lord console you in your time of sorrow. Rest In Heaven Nate.
Erika Melrose
September 9, 2018
My deepest sorrow for Nates family. I know his sorrow and pain. I lived there for years and I'm so sorry that he endured that. I know you're hurting and my prayers are always with you. I'd share what happened to me, because I was in his shoes when I was 25, but I don't know if it will help your sorrows or be of comfort to you. So, I'm definitely going to keep you in my heart and mind and let you know that though I don't know you or Nate, I love you deeply.
Mary Prisco
September 9, 2018
My heart and prayers go out to Nate's loving family..
As I read all about Nate I could see what an amazing person he was and how much his family loved him..
You can finally rest easy and be at peace Nate in the arms of our Lord..
Vanessa Pehl
September 9, 2018
My heart and prayers go out to your family. As I read this it took me through years of memories both good and bad of my nephews. My parents adopted my sisters first two sons because she did not care for them properly. It has been wonderful and painful all the same. They are getting help right now with their feelings of abandonment and feeling not worthy. My heart aches for you and the millions of families who experience this great trajedy. God bless you for your courage and constant love that you have and still give. Rest In Peace sweet boy. God bless
Marlene Wust-Smith
September 9, 2018
Thank you for sharing this. I am a pediatrician who has taken care of many children like Nate, and my heart goes out to you and your family. Hopefully his soul is at peace wherever he is, knowing that his life and legacy may help others.
Deb Berghuis
September 9, 2018
Rest in peace, Nate... and may your family and friends live in peace as well...🙏
Sara Shaughnessy
September 9, 2018
My heart goes out to any and everyone who cares about Nathan.
Pam Taylor
September 9, 2018
I did not know you but I do understand the pain that is caused by depression and anxiety. I am so sorry the pain was so deep. RIP sweet Nathan!
Tina Camlin
September 9, 2018
Nate.
I have prayed for you and your family, reading about you and knowing you have left this world at such a young age, means we are now missing a beautiful, colorful, soul.
I know no one could understand the depth of your pain, because we never went through it. It had to be extremely difficult to carry. Yet, your memories on here are all about love. you were loved. I'm keeping you in my prayers Nate. Jesus adores and loves you. In his arms you will find sweet rest from any earthly, weary, troubles you had. You will be in his perfect peace and love.
God bless you Nate.
Ann Gray
September 9, 2018
We feel your pain Nate. The adoptive kids in our home know your struggle. Stay safe in the arms of
the God who made you. He loves you and always has. Xx
Georgie Rasco
September 9, 2018
I never met your son but I know him deep in my soul. I too suffer depression, feelings of unworthiness and inability to love myself although surrounded by others who love me. My heart breaks for you as his family and for him and the hourly pain he suffered throughout his life. It was through no fault of your own, his family, it was those evil thoughts that grabbed hold of him early on and just never let go. Sometimes love does not cure all. Thank you for this loving and brave testimony to a life you obviously loved. Through his death you are reaching and saving others. My heart is filled by you.
Kris G
September 9, 2018
I am so sorry for your loss. This is my worst fear. My son is adopted from the foster care system. He is 18 now and suffers from depression and anxiety. I can’t imagine what your family is going through. You are in my thoughts.
Donna Lewis
September 9, 2018
A friend shared this on FB. I am very close to a family with 5 children adopted through the foster system. I had the privilege of being the teacher to 2 of the 5. I learn more each day about the trauma brain and the angel of an adoptive mother is working closely with a local children’s hospital to help educate teachers about children with trauma brains. These children are so misunderstood, they aren’t bad, not idiots and not crazy, they are sadly a product of what they were born in to. May Nate find peace.....
Traci Wilson
September 9, 2018
This is the most touching and heartfelt obit I have ever read. So sorry for the family's loss. Thank you for trying to get others to understand mental illness. Prayers for you all. Fly high Nate.
Karen Atha
September 9, 2018
This was shared by a friend. I am so sorry for your loss. I was adopted at 7 months old. Giving this blessing to someone is the best gift ever. I know Nathan was blessed to call you all family and was grateful that you chose him to be apart of something great. God Bless
Karen
Sylvia Dusang
September 9, 2018
I do not know your family this was shared by a friend who is an awesome adoptive mother of 4. Thank you for your honest loving tribute of your son Nate.
Oh Nate what a beautiful smile. Thank you for the unconditional love you all gave him and thank you for giving him the opportunity to know Jesus Christ whose love covers a multitude of sins. Rest in love and peace Nate.
Tonya Yetter
September 9, 2018
From one foster family to another....you are living our worst fear. Thank you for loving him every minute you knew him. We’re praying that there is peace and good that comes out of this tragedy-the same peace and good we pray he is feeling now. Rest In Peace, beloved son.
Lindsey Berryman
September 9, 2018
Dear friends and family of Nate,
Nate’s obituary is heart shattering. What a precious, wanted and irreplaceable soul. To Nate’s immediate family, Thank you for loving, choosing and raising him.
You changed and saved his life in ways we will never know. Our hearts are breaking with yours.
As a child and adolescent mental health therapist, (and adoptee) my life’s calling is to reach the lives of kids like Nate, help them heal from traumas and negative life experiences, that were no fault of their own. Every child, from hard places or otherwise, deserves to know and feel that they are loved, wanted and significant.
To Nate’s family, he knew he was loved. May God bless you.
Jenna Inns
September 9, 2018
I am saying a prayer for you today Mom and Dad. You are going to be given a huge hug when you see your boy again in Heaven. GOD bless you.
Mary Drouillard
September 9, 2018
Your story touched all of us who have deeply loved a child who struggled to love themselves. Although we did not know you, Nathan, we miss having you in the world and all that you are.
We will continue to educate and advocate, love and protect those who have come from hard places. Peace be with all family and friends of Nathan.
Jack James
September 9, 2018
You don't know me and we'll, most likely, never meet, but your beautiful son and his journey touched my heart. I am the father of four beautiful boys, all in their 20s. We lost our first son and I can share the pain with you because of that. I am a retired high school teacher and have talked and counseled many "off of the ledge." Some I missed. May God give you peace and comfort and reveal to you something good out of all of this tragedy.
Kelly Ewing
September 9, 2018
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I didn’t have the opportunity to know this amazing young man but he has so many similarities to my Nathan. We lost our Nathan on his 20th Birthday. He was living his dreaming attending OU. One night he was in the wrong spot at the wrong time and was shot, he died 6 hours later.
I cried as I read this and I imagine our boys skateboarding together in Heaven free of any pain or turmoil.
I also shared his obituary, it is so eloquently written with such awareness that needs to be shared.
With Love,
Kelly
Lida Perez
September 9, 2018
Nate was a great person and friend. My heart goes out to you guys today for the loss of such an amazing soul. Rest easy kiddo.
Dawn Cornelius
September 9, 2018
I did not know your son but I read your beautiful tribute to him and I thank you for being there for him through the years God allowed you to have him. My prayers are with you and your family Isaiah 41:10
Angela Baldwin
September 9, 2018
Family of Nate:
I read about this obit today and it touched my heart and mind. Beautifully written memorial, with vivid words of encouragement. Many of us hide our emotions through smiles amongst other ways. I pray for your continued strength.
Bonny Hale
September 9, 2018
Deepest Sympathies to Natens family and friends. My personal biblical hope is in the resurrection on earth. “Do not be amazed at this, for the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out.” John 5:28,29
Nathan will then have the choice to live forever. “He will swallow up death forever, and the Sovereign Lord Jehovah will wipe away the tears from all faces.” Isaiah 25:8
It is my hope to see Nathan in better times when we will not have to worry about wicked influences. “The righteous will possess the earth, and they will live forever on it Psalms 37:29
“He will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away."
Revelation 21:4
For more biblical information regarding your future peace and happiness go to JW.org.
When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure. Treasure these memories until we see him in better times.
Cyndi Ball
September 9, 2018
I have just read your story and as an adoptive mother of a now 15 year old son who’s athletic as well and struggles deeply with his past, daily. I pray for your family, I pray for your strength and I pray for understanding from others. Knowledge, understanding and acceptance is key! My heart goes out to your family in having to cope with such a deep heartbreaking loss!
Jo Beth
September 9, 2018
Thank you for sharing Nate's story & thank you for loving him. I know how Nate felt, I to spent my life in foster care & the abuse at the hands of my own family has traumatized me beyond belief. I pray that you find some comfort in Nate being at peace with the Lord. I pray you find peace in knowing that as hard as it was for him, he loved you. I'm truly am sorry for your loss. Those of us who have never met you are praying for you.
Courtney Brown
September 9, 2018
Rest easy Nate 💛
As a fellow foster mom to a teen I can completely relate, thank you for writing so others can help our trauma kids.
Stacy Crow
September 9, 2018
I never met your son or your family but as an adoptive mom of seven I cried as I read about his life. My prayers and heart goes out to each of you that poured themselves into your son’s life. God Bless!
Pam Austin
September 9, 2018
I was so touched my this beautiful obituary.....I had to let you know...you did make a impression on this young man...be at peace knowing he is in the arms of Jesus, his heavenly FATHER
Laura Walker
September 9, 2018
I am a foster, adoptive and biological mom to 9 kids. My oldest adopted daughter was born the same day as Nate’s and we too understand the struggles many of these kids face and as a result, their families face. I shared Nate’s obituary on my Facebook page in hopes someone will see it and choose to get involved and/or reach out.
Thank you for your love of this young man.
Thank you for your tribute.
Fran Hatfield
September 9, 2018
God bless you, Nate, and blessings to your family. May you now rest in eternal peace. Your struggles are finally over. Our son struggles with mental illness, depression, and anxiety so we are well aware of how hard life was for you - and for your family. Now you rest secure - finally.
Treva Prieb
September 9, 2018
First of all... I do not know you. But was touched and moved to tears by your story. Thank you for sharing. I will share Nate's story too. As an early childhood educator, I could NOT agree more with your heartfelt tribute to your son. He sounds like he was such a light lost in the darkness of a past he could not forget. He was so LUCKY to have such an amazing family. God bless you and your family as you grieve the loss of your son. I am so very sorry for your loss.
Kathy Overton
September 9, 2018
Thank you for sharing your wonderful son with the world, you are an amazing family. We never know what's going on behind a smile. This story and "Nate" has touched my heart. God Bless your family and your work through touching many lives. Rest High Nate 🙏🙏❤️
Melissa Throne
September 9, 2018
Hi, I didn't know you Nate but your awesome and amazing I deal everyday with trauma it's not easy. I pray you are at peace and your family I will be praying for them.. Sorry u left this life so young u had alot to look forward to. RIP my friend.
Twylia Bullock
September 9, 2018
Praying for your peace for the upcoming days that you'll be living without Nate. I lost my oldest son Dustin , when he took his own life, feelibg that things would never get better. Sounds like they msy meeg up in heaven as their personalities match so well. Dustin welcome Nate and let his family and friends know he's at peace like you did for us <3
Sherryl Young
September 9, 2018
Dear Nate,
First of all, you sound like an awesome, amazing, wonderful person. I would have loved knowing you.
I too have struggled with depression and a feeling of unworthiness since a child. I never lived in the foster system, not was I adopted, I was raised by my Mom, but basically had no father present much of my life.
I did experience trauma at an early age in the form of sexual abuse by my father. In those days those things were just swept under the carpet and never discussed. I went through life thinking I did something to cause the abuse, thinking love corresponded with sex, and even thinking I had made the abuse up. But, how could anyone right year old girl know about sexual things.
I am also a court appointed special advocate for abused and neglected children in the foster care program. I want so much to do a good job and actually make a difference in these children's lives, but the obstacles get in the way. The biggest is lack of communication by DHS and some judges not really taking the information I provide as serious as they should.
after reading your story, I have decided I am going to continue fighting for these children, be their voice, loud and clear, if necessary, and fight for the physical, mental, and psychological needs of these children.
I thank you and your parents for the opportunity to know you through your story.
Kurt Gwartney
September 9, 2018
Nate’s story is similar to a young man from our church who took his life a few weeks ago. Thank you all for honestly sharing the story of struggle and offering the uphill climb in hope. May you find peace in your grief and love from those around you.
Alethea Smerdon
September 9, 2018
Thank you for sharing and for loving Nate. You gave him a good life. Reading your story warms my heart, I have a 16 year old that came from a hard place and struggles. Sometimes I think I push too hard or expect too much, you soften me. Thank you for sharing.
Donna Stewart
September 9, 2018
Dear Nate,
I never knew you. I lost my precious daughter in December. I read your obituary and first thing I thought was how much you were like her. I hope you and my Angel are dancing in the sky. Please give her a hug from me, her momma.
Thoughts for the family at this time. Losing a child is the worst pain ever. Hugs
Teresa Biggs
September 9, 2018
I am so sorry to learn of Nate's hurt and life. Know that I pray for him, his family and all like children in the world.
Brigitte Thomer
September 9, 2018
Hello Nate,
My nefaw an u would me the same age going, he plaus football, he is great at it, I know having health problems was.bad i was there. Nobody understaded, one man has the best love for you is JESUS HE HAS U WITH OPEN ARMS MAY U FLY HIGH ON THAT MONTONE SON GOD BLESS YOUR.PARENTS
Love u sweet man. Never met u but u made a.big inpacked on my heart.
Jenny Hunt
September 9, 2018
This sweet boy helped me move last year. He had such a great attitude and contagious smile. So sad for the loss to his family and friends. What a beautiful tribute. What a tragic loss.
Andre'e Reutlinger
September 9, 2018
Nate, reading your obit made me cry for the sadness you experienced and the Joy you left behind. My adopted son is exactly where you were and struggles daily to stay alive. Nate, I didn't know you but I know your heart. I also know that you are feeling peace and joy now in the arms of Jesus. Please look after my son and help him to see past his mental illness. You can touch him in a way I can't. His name is "TJ". Thank you Nate.
Cyndy Daniel
September 9, 2018
So sad! I'm adopted and it is a struggle. God bless his soul. Thank you for showing him love.
Elizabeth Taylor
September 9, 2018
I don’t know you nor did I know Nate but this is the best obituary I’ve ever read. Most sound cold and aren’t written with any emotion. This one is written with love and heartbreak at the same time. It made me cry. Sounds like he was an amazing kid that left this world way to early. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Rest easy Nate.
Jeni Sanders
September 8, 2018
I do not know your family, but I wanted to Thank you for your family's story - Nate's Story. May Nate's soul rest easy and be free from whatever tormented him. May your family find comfort knowing Nate is continuing to touch lives.
Loving hugs from Iowa ❤
Carrie Cluff
September 8, 2018
I am a teacher in Yukon. Our entire staff just had a second training with a therapist that specializes in trauma and how it affects children. We are trying to be able to do better to help children like Nate. Thank for for pouring your love into him. My heart breaks for your loss. I am so very sorry for your family.
nora niles
September 8, 2018
I do not know you, but I wish I had. Prayers for your family and peace to you finally. Thank you for being an inspiration and an organ donor. I would not be here today if someone as loving and caring as had not donated their heart for me 3 years ago.. God Bless you all.
Linda Stout Potter
September 8, 2018
Words fail~
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
Carmen West
September 8, 2018
I lost my oldest son to mental illness in April. He left us and my heart is forever saddened. I'm lifting your family up in prayer as so many have done for mine the past few months. I'm so sorry for your loss and the world's loss of Nate. Mental illness care in our country is in need of a great transformation. Too many great young people are leaving us too soon.
Jana McCoy
September 8, 2018
What a Shining Light You Are Nate!
Losing a Child is really not acceptable!
I lost my firstborn 2 years ago,and I know nothing will ever be the same..Only to know that you and my Son are in complete happiness and perfection!!🙏❤️😇God Bless You Nate & Family🙏😇❤️🙏
Kelly Barnes
September 8, 2018
As a mother of a child who struggled with abandonment and being a adopted child who shared this same struggle; I can let you know for me personally dealing with my sexual abuse and being adopted , I always felt I was never worthy of love. That the abuse I had done to me reinforced my feelings inside of being unlovable. I as well have a outside for everyone else and very rarely allow people close to me. I was lucky that as I became a young adult I knew I had to get strong allow anger and make a difference. I became a ICU RN and would spend life in and out of short therapy. I wouldn’t say I’m fixed but I am a Survivor. I just got lucky. I was fortunate enough to use my life story to help my son and others. I am so sorry for your families loss , I’m sorry Nate never found inner peace. Please find comfort in knowing the real love he had for his family and friends , by sharing our stories I hope we can reach someone . My heart breaks for you. Prayers . You are a messenger . Please continue
Kristi Metheny
September 8, 2018
I do not know your family or your son but I just wanted to thank you for such an honest obituary and for sheading light on childhood trauma. I myself am an adoptive mom of 3 children from hard places. What you are living out, is my worst nightmare. Your Nate sounds like he was an amazing kid and I know How much you must have loved and fought for him. I pray that others that read about him will reach out and get involved like you have suggested. Big hugs and big prayers!!
Christine Hayes
September 8, 2018
Thank you for sharing every word of that. We have a “Nate “we love on so deeply and pour into and it’s so true no matter how much we love on him I can’t take away the 15 years before he became a part of our family. As foster parents of mostly teens it’s so hard to get our kids to understand they are loved and worthy. I’m so glad you got to love on him. Know you made a difference. Rest In Peace with our Heavenly Father
Michelle Boyer
September 8, 2018
Everyday for 17 years, I have worked in some capacity with children, families (bio, foster and adoptive) and everyday I am reminded why I do it. I am so sorry for the loss of your son and sibling. Trauma is very real and sometimes, despite all the love we give, mental health treatment, safety and security- the trauma is too deep. I believe your son was well loved and he knew it. I appreciate your family and I mourn with you, though I don’t know you. I appreciate your honest and eloquent words of his life, who he was both the strengths and the struggles. Nathan is ‘our’ kid too. His name and his face may be different but I can promise you, all of us who work in this field, love him as our own. My prayers are with your family and may the grace and peace of Christ cover you all. He is in a place now where his struggles are over and love abounds.
Amanda Rizner
September 8, 2018
Thank you for sharing your son's story. I am sorry for your loss and sorry for a life cut short.
Anita Greaves
September 8, 2018
Thank you for sharing Nate story and how although his issues were mentally he made others smile. As a foster mother who adopted the little girl in my home. A moment don’t go by where I wonder and feel like a part of something she is reaching for is missing. But we live day yo day giving thanks 🙏 in all this I have our Padtor and Girst Lady who is part of this journey with us. Now Nate has leave us to not only mourn but to rejoice and speak life to others through the awesome God we praise, family keep his memories alive.
Denise Abston
September 8, 2018
Thank you for sharing such a beloved story of your son, Nate. We thank you that you embraced him, loved him and allowed him the room he needed to grow. I greatly appreciate that you shared the struggle he had with mental health issues. Please know that what you shared will help many other parents! May the Lord bless you as you continue to honor him not only in name, but as your son and as God's child. Peace to you.
Rev. Denise J. Abston
Edmond Free Methodist Church
Chair, Butterfield Memorial Foundation
Cheryl Smith
September 8, 2018
Thank you for sharing Nate’s story. I did not know him, nor do I know his family. His story speaks to the criticality of mental illness and the necessity to make treatment and care available to all.
I am certain Nates legacy has touched so many known and unknown people, hopefully encouraging them to speak up and take action.
Becky Willeford
September 8, 2018
To me, Nate will always be the reason we ultimately said YES to adoption. Amy and I had lunch just after Nate became a part of the Smith family and her honesty and candidness about the need for adoptive families spoke loudly to me. I will always credit the Smiths for inspiring us to take that leap. So thank you, Nate. You didn’t know it, but you are a big part of our family’s story. You are loved and worth it. Praying for peace that surpasses all understanding for your amazing family.
Parvati Covarrubias
September 8, 2018
I did not know Nate, or your family, but the obituary was shared by a friend of mine. My heart breaks for you, and you all and Nate are in my prayers. I am a mother, and a teacher and my life is young people. Thank you for sharing Nate's story to bring awareness to other young people that may be going through the same trauma in their lives. May God bless and comfort you at this time.
Donna Bumgarner
September 8, 2018
I dont know your family, but I can imagine your heartache.....we did foster care for therapeutic foster care for teenage boys for ten years......the pain and trauma these children have gone thru is unimaginable......I recommend fostering all I can....it is an eye opener...at least take the classes.....my boys were beautiful lost souls just lost in a sea tossed and forgotten.place....they felt so hopeless and angry.....they are moved around....sad.....thank you for sharing....heaven has a special place for you 🙏🙏🙏🙏💕
Darrell Rowe
September 8, 2018
Nate worked for me the summer of 2017. He was a great kid, he often went to church with us and family dinners afterwards. My 2 daughters ages 8 and 11 had a huge crush on him! He was well liked by all who worked with him! I was heart broken hearing of his passing! Prayers to all his family !
Joyce Pitchlynn
September 8, 2018
I don’t know this precious family and their wonderful son, but I want to thank you for this honest, authentic obituary. It’s so clear how well Nate was loved and how hard it is to overcome trauma and cope with mental illness. I pray you find strength in the days ahead knowing that your son is free, resting in the Father’s arms, and that his story enlightens all who read it.
Paula Fisk
September 8, 2018
My thoughts and prayers are with all of those this wonderful young man has touched the lives of. God bless you for making an awareness to help others.
Desiree Heskett
September 8, 2018
I don’t know your family but my heart is broken by the story.
Prayers 🙏🏻
Love ❤️
((((Hugs)))
To all of you today, tomorrow and the days ahead
May his legacy shine bright.
Diane Cobb
September 8, 2018
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear son. It’s so very hard to live in this world. With all the issues going on, but remember 1 Peter 5: 6 & 7 throw all your anxiety on God because he cares for you.
Tammye Wolf
September 8, 2018
My heart hurts so much for my beautiful family! I am still trying to believe this has happened!
Nate had such a beautiful smile and a twinkle in his eye!
My heart especially breaks for Nate’s mom and dad Amy and Jeremy, you two special people are so amazing there are no words to properly describe you.
My heart also hurts for Brooke and Brody losing a sibling is a terrible thing.
For Nate’s son, a young man who will never truly k ow his daddy.
My thoughts and prayers are with my beautiful niece and her amazing family!
I love you all dearly.
Our Deepest Sympathies
Auntie Tammye, Uncle Victor & Family
If we can do anything p,ease let us know.
Courtney Cook
September 8, 2018
My heart hurts for this family! My condolences and I am praying for. A blanket of love and comfort for this beautiful family during this difficult time!!
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IN THE CARE OF