Shirlee Ann Bolger

A memorial service will be held at 3:00 p.m. on Saturday, October 20th, in Liberty Hall at Paradise Village Retirement Community 2700 E. 4th Street, National City, CA. A private interment will be at Greenwood Memorial Park in the Bible Mausoleum. The family suggests that any contributions be made to the Frosted Faces Foundation. ***Shirlee Ann Bolger (born Shirlee Ann Sandon), a retired Chorister with the San Diego Opera Chorus and substitute teacher with Sweetwater Unified School District, died Saturday, October 6, 2018. She was 91 and lived at Paradise Village Retirement Center in National City. She was born in South Bend Township, MN, in December 1926. She graduated from Teachers College (later Minnesota State University, Mankato. She was married to Herbert R. Bolger, a Sweetwater High School counselor, from 1948 until his passing in 1992. She sang with the San Diego Opera Chorus from its inception in 1965 until 1995. Shirlee also sang with the South Bay Community Chorale and other music groups in the local area (including a singing tour of European cathedrals). She taught briefly at San Diego High School, then served as a substitute teacher in the Sweetwater Unified School District for approximately 40 years. She lived in Chula Vista for 57 years. Survivors include two sons, Bruce (and Trish) of La Crescenta, CA, Barry (and Erin) of El Cajon, CA, and daughter Barchelle (Chelly) Bolger Wathen (and George) of Lakeside, CA. She is also survived by two granddaughters, Amanda Bolger of Marina, CA and Kristina Martin of Pasadena, CA, and one grandson, Brandon Martin of La Crescenta, CA. She is also survived by many loving nieces and nephews and other extended family.

***THE LIFE OF SHIRLEE ANN (SANDON) BOLGER – GROWING UP IN MINNESOTA*** Shirlee Ann Sandon (later Bolger) was born on a snowy night on December 18, 1926, at her childhood home, a farm in Blue Earth County, South Bend Township (south of Mankato), Minnesota. Her mother, Olga Hase Sandon, named her after Shirley Temple. Her older brothers Bob and Tom, and her brother-in-law Harry, nicknamed her “Squirrely” (instead of Shirlee). She shared a bedroom with her older sister, Virginia (aka Nelle, “Gin” for short) for a short time. She recalls Gin would sing her a Native American lullaby “Eey why aye my little owlet,” and once bought her a doll. But she found more enjoyment playing with the farm animals and being with her brothers, especially when they would all go swimming “in the raw” in the country “crick.” She grew up a tomboy. She loved to “escape” to the barn and interact with the animals (much to her older sister’s dismay, who preferred to perform more domestic activities with their mother). She had her first little pony “Spot” (brown & white spots) from age 3, and her dogs “Toby” and “Dusty.” She loved spending time with her brothers and the animals, and never much cared for dolls or hanging out with any specific girlfriends. Her childhood hero was cowboy Tom Mix. She recalled that her family home was one of the first to have electric lights installed. At age 5 or 6, she would occasionally steal watermelons growing in a neighbor’s field. She thought she was “getting away with it”, but in reality, the neighbor knew all along and didn’t care. Once she fell off Spot while “pilfering” a watermelon and knocked her out cold. The neighbor came out, laughed at what he saw, revived her, and sent her on her way (with the watermelon). Her father “Cash” (Robert Cassius Sandon) was a farmer (raising hay, corn, black walnuts, and apples) and a well-known musician in their community. Along with his brother Bill, Cash opened the Sandon Theater (350 person capacity) in Mankato in 1915, (and later a second theater) featuring silent movies (with musical accompaniment by Cash and Bill), vaudeville shows and other programs. Cash also taught music in several small schools in south central Minnesota, directed the Sandon Brothers Band and later formed the Elks Band with other local musicians. Cash and son Tom played with the Elks Band. Tom, Bob, & Gin joined Cash to play in other dance bands. Shirlee’s mother Olga was a very good cook and took care of the farm and animals, especially when Cash and the kids traveled. They formed a small family band known as the “Minnesota River Bottom Hillbillies” that would travel locally to perform plays, such as “Rip Van Winkle” (in which Shirlee & Gin played the daughter at young & older ages). These performances began in 1927, lasting until about 1935 or 1936. They also performed in concerts in which Shirlee played the washboard and sang while the others played instruments. Olga made the costumes and sometimes took tickets for these performances. Family gatherings centered around playing music (which extended to the kids and their kids). Shirlee also sang with the local Baptist church choir and played organ there. Her love of music from this early age would continue all of her life. Shirlee’s favorite topics in school (a 6-room schoolhouse in Rapidan, MN) were music and PE (especially softball and basketball). She liked geography, but admitted she was not particularly good at math and science. She recalled walking with her brothers to the end of their property to the bus stop to get to school. If the bus couldn’t get through due to bad weather, she said they walked across the field, through the woods, then on the railroad tracks to the main road (once for two weeks in -30° temperatures). One time the snow was so bad walking home from school that she was caught in a “white-out.” She made it to a neighbor’s house where she spent the night (after the neighbor called home to tell her parents where she was). She also recalled another time when she was young (after learning to drive at age 12), driving her mom in the car, through the snow and straight into a ditch. She had to get to the bus stop for school, so she left her mom in the car to eventually walk home in the snow. She grew up strong in the country fields of Blue Earth County (south of Mankato), and said there was “no better place to grow up than the Minnesota country farm”. Being the youngest and the smallest, she couldn’t do as much physical labor as her father and brothers. Instead, she would drive the tractor. This job ended one day when she nearly ran over her brother Tom. Suffice it to say he was not too pleased with Shirlee that day. ***CAREER START AS A TEACHER & MEETING HERB***

Shirlee moved out of the family home to rent a room in Mankato and attend Teachers College (later renamed Minnesota State University, Mankato). She went “just because it was there,” not because she originally had a great desire to teach. While attending Teachers College, she worked at a soda fountain at a local dime store (age 18). She dated a couple boys in high school and attended some formal dances, but was never in love until she met Herbert Bolger. They met in her second quarter of college, in the same English class, after Herb returned from World War II, where he had served in India. She was 18 and he was about 22. After a three-week friendship, he asked her out on a date – she said “maybe.” She described him as “friendly, reasonably good-looking, could be quiet but not terribly serious.” Her family liked him and her mom was crazy about him. They dated for about 2 or 3 years, and he proposed to her in August 1947. Their first dates were often attending movies. They both sang in the church choir. Shirlee also took music & voice lessons, played piano and sang for recitals. Herb and Shirlee married on July 24, 1948, in Mankato at the Baptist Church (where she had been baptized), with a traditional service. From that time on, they were never apart until Herb’s death in 1992. They honeymooned at The Dells in Wisconsin, which had cabins on the lake. Their first home together was at the family farm with her parents for the first year while they finished Teachers College. After graduating college, they moved to their first apartment in Huntley, MN, and taught all school grades there for about two years. They came to California to visit Herb’s brothers, Simon and Adolph (Aubbie), in San Diego and fell in love with the Golden State. Shortly thereafter (in 1950) they moved permanently to California (with friends John and Shirlee May). Their first stop was in Los Angeles for a summer, while Herb took classes at USC. They spent their evenings on the rooftop of their apartment building (near Echo Park Lake/downtown L.A.) marveling at all the neon lights and billboards along nearby Wilshire Boulevard. They eventually ended up in San Diego, where Herb was initially a student (taking more classes) and Shirlee found a job as a girls’ PE teacher at San Diego High School. Shirlee always teased Herb about being the first of the two to land a job in California. Herb soon thereafter started teaching Math at Southwest Junior High (in Chula Vista). Shirlee also taught full-time for a couple years, but switched to substitute teaching when the kids (Bruce, Barry, and Chelly) arrived. Her teaching career spanned over 30 years. Herb eventually transferred to Sweetwater High School where he was promoted to counselor (and where he remained until his retirement from teaching in 1984). ***FAMILY LIFE*** When she was young, Shirlee had wanted to have one son, and if Barry had been a girl they would not have had any other kids. They were always thrilled when each child was born. Shirlee recalled that, when Bruce was born (a hot day in July), Herb had to come home in the middle of the day (and in the middle of Shirlee’s labor) to water the new lawn at their new Chula Vista home, bought while she was pregnant with Bruce in 1954 (and where she lived for the next 57 years). As was typical at the time, Herb was not in the delivery room when Bruce was born, and Shirlee was sedated. Years later she laughed about waking up with no one in the room and wondering “Where am I?” “Am I alive?” “Am I in Heaven?” “Did I have my baby?” “Is the baby all right?” Then her daze turned to exasperation – “Where the heck is everyone?” She loved her children, stating that she saw parts of both herself and Herb in them – Barry as humorous, Bruce as talented and so smart, and Chelly as passionate and caring (and content to be Daddy’s little girl). Despite feeling overwhelmed at times as a mother, together she and Herb raised three accomplished kids (whom she also referred to as well-behaved), keeping them successful in school and extra-curricular activities. She said she “liked being a mom but it was a lot of work.” When looking back, the thing she wished most was that the family could have relaxed more. There always seemed to be homework, sports practices, ball games, and musical lessons/rehearsals/concerts. There were times when Shirlee wasn’t happy with all these obligations and responsibilities. Nevertheless, her drive never left her. Even in the weeks and months before her death she would still ask everyone “Where do I need to go now” and “What should I be doing now.” She also kept impeccable mental records of each of her medications. Despite everyone else’s opinion, Shirlee never thought of herself as a good cook. When she was first married she confessed that she could only make “jello & corn on the cob.” Much-loved traditions in the Bolger house included making the family “Easter bunny cake” and frosted Christmas cut-out cookies, and gathering the family around the table for Thanksgiving feasts (using “the good china”). Also, Shirlee could make a great lemon meringue pie, and jar incomparable home-made strawberry jam. ***SHIRLEE’S FAVORITES*** Shirlee’s life-long passion was music. As an adult, she sang (and played bells) with numerous church choirs (often as a soloist), the South Bay Community Chorale, and most notably the San Diego Opera chorus (from its founding in 1965, through 1995). She even got Herb involved with the San Diego Opera, where he performed as a “super” (a non-singing “extra”). (This was in addition to Herb’s work as a high school counselor, and in the ticket offices of the San Diego Chargers and the San Diego County Fair & Racetrack.) For the opera, she spent numerous hours memorizing librettos in Italian & German. Even when her singing days were over and she no longer had a piano to play at Paradise Village, she still enjoyed acting in short plays (although – ever the dedicated performer – she stressed over memorizing her lines and finding the right props). Shirlee also loved to travel, including via RV to the East Coast and to her beloved extended family in Minnesota (despite Bruce & Barry saying they wanted to fly home because they were tired of the RV), tent camping and hiking at local mountains, and later her travels to Europe (twice), Alaska (twice) (one time taking a helicopter ride over Mt. McKinley), Hawaii, Sedona, Palm Springs (even riding horses again in her later 70’s with Chelly), and the Panama Canal. Shirlee was able to travel once to Europe with Herb, and one of her later-life highlights was singing with the First United Methodist Church Majesty & Glory Choir in cathedrals in Austria, Czech Republic and Italy during the summer of 2003. She always wished she had been able to travel to England (where her father’s family originated). The other life activities that gave Shirlee immeasurable pleasure and pride included spending time with her grandkids (Amanda, Kristina & Brandon – even dressing up with them for Halloween), forming a special relationship with grandniece Lexi, calling herself the “outlaw” (not “in-law”) grandma to step-grandkids Joe & Jon, creating elaborate flower arrangements (something her mother had also enjoyed), and tending to her many plants at her Chula Vista home. She was treasured as more of a mother than just a mother-in-law by her children’s spouses – Trish, Erin, and George. She truly loved her family. The Bolger home was never complete without at least one cat and dog, and she enjoyed caring for all of them, including a white cat named Persia (and all her offspring) who loved to sit and listen to Shirlee practice music at the piano, a few shrieking Siamese, a “tuxedo” (black and white) cat (Honey), a beagle (Bokie) who decided to go for a taxi ride, a German Shepard (Fritz), a Norwegian Elkhound/Keeshond (Riska), and a few other “grand” dogs. The accomplishments in her life that she was most proud of included singing with the San Diego Opera, in Europe, and the knowledge that all three of her children “turned out well and happy.” When asked what she would like to say to her children, grandchildren and future generations, she said that she “wanted to be remembered as a good influence” – i.e., that we are all good people because of her and Herb’s influence. Shirlee lived a wonderful, full life to age 91, and will be dearly missed by her sons, daughter, daughters-in-law, son-in-law, grandkids, nieces and other Minnesota family, and many friends. She will be remembered amongst her friends at Paradise Village for often taking 15 or more minutes to exit the Plaza dining room because she would want to stop and talk to each person. As was said in her favorite show, the Phantom of the Opera, “it’s over now, the music of the night.” God bless you Shirlee Bolger. Favorite color: Christmas red. Favorite flower: pink carnations