Ellen Rubenstein

Ellen Rubenstein, history enthusiast and beloved humanitarian, passed away on February 11, 2022 after a courageous battle with cancer – a fight made endurable and dignified thanks to the unyielding care and fearless support of her dedicated husband, advocate, and kindred spirit Lance. Ellen’s commanding presence and joie de vivre, however, didn't come to an end with her death. Ellen’s legacy will continue to be honored by her loved ones by saying yes to new experiences, being principled and ethical, and living their lives to the fullest.

Ellen completed her Bachelor’s degree in History at the University at Buffalo with focuses on early American History through the Civil War, along with the French Revolution. As a self-taught IT startup entrepreneur, software programmer, layout designer, and interior designer, Ellen’s career in Manhattan took many interesting directions. Whatever job she held, Ellen embraced a leadership role and took great pride completing the job with efficiency and precision.

Ellen had a sincere zest for life that was contagious to all around her. Ellen truly knew what she liked, as well as what she did not. Ellen was a politically active, civic-minded bleeding heart, an ally for women and other vulnerable and marginalized groups, and a passionate advocate for the humanitarian causes she believed in, including Habitat for Humanity, Doctors without Borders, and Special Olympics. In contrast, Ellen was an outspoken adversary of the causes and interests which she opposed.

Ellen had a deep connection with history and a special appreciation for “the way we were.” Ellen had a passion for the fine craftsmanship and artistry of antiques, especially the 19th century and the world’s first photos, called Daguerreotypes. Ellen’s nostalgia for the bygone days also extended to classic cinema and its pacing, glamour, and romantic style. She was a woman of impeccable taste and had an appreciation of fine things.

Ellen loved to travel: never to the tourist traps, but always long walks through the backstreets to discover unseen beauty and an off-the-beaten-path restaurant. She had a special fondness for England, Italy, and America’s Southwest and natural parks. Ellen was also a lover of culture and arts, taking full advantage of her proximity to the gastronomy, plays, and museums of Manhattan and Washington D.C., with a distinctive admiration of musical theater like West Side Story and Rent.

Ellen religiously read the New York Times and Washington Post front to back to feed her voracious appetite for knowledge and current events. Ellen never failed to impress her younger family members with her sponge-like ability to soak up details over a broad span of subjects – with no exception for those topics far outside her spheres of interest, including contemporary pop culture, sports, and music. As such, Ellen was a fearsome competitor for anyone willing to brave her opposition in a game of Trivial Pursuit or Jeopardy!.

Ellen’s drive to take care of and enhance the experiences of others emerged early during her college days at Buffalo, where always-responsible Ellen was viewed by her off-campus roommates as “house mother.” For a period spanning several decades, Ellen served as a dedicated caretaker and patient advocate first for her aunt, then for her mother-in-law, continuing with her father-in-law, and most recently for her own father. Ellen made it her personal mission to assure they all received the best treatment and had the highest quality of life possible. Ellen also took quite seriously her role as cultural ambassador to her family and was especially intent on exposing her nieces and nephews to new and enriching experiences like international cuisine and sharing her fondness for Manhattan’s shows, museums, and streets.

Ellen is survived by her adoring husband Lance, with whom she shared a singular bond that will transcend space and time. Ellen and Lance perfectly complimented one another in every way imaginable and were soulmates in the truest sense of the word. Their relationship is perhaps best characterized by Kurt Vonnegut’s term Duprass in his novel Cat’s Cradle: “They were lovebirds. They entertained each other endlessly with little gifts: sights worth seeing out the plane window, amusing or instructive bits from things they read, random recollections of times gone by. They were…a flawless example of…a duprass,” a union that “can’t be invaded, not even by children born of such a union.”

Ellen is also survived by her sisters, Carol and Wendy; her best friend, Adrienne; her brothers- and sister-in-law, Bill, Steve, Randy, Joe, and Phyllis; and her nieces and nephews, Eric, Ryan, Brian, Evan, Danielle, Kate, Dana, Steven, Michelle, Haley, Devin, and Dominic.

A funeral service for Ellen will be held Wednesday, February 16, 2022 from 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM at National Funeral Home, 7482 Lee Highway, Falls Church, VA 22042. Following the funeral service will be a graveside service at 2:00 PM at National Memorial Park, 7482 Lee Highway, Falls Church, VA 22042.

The family wishes memorial contributions be made to Habitat for Humanity (habitat.org/support) or The Sidney Kimmel Comprehensive Cancer Center at Johns Hopkins (hopkinskimmelgiving.org).