Murphy Funeral Homes

1102 West Broad Street, Falls Church, VA


Neil Alan Dellar

October 11, 1958September 3, 2020

Neil Alan Dellar of McLean, VA passed away suddenly from a pulmonary embolism on September 3, 2020 at the age of 61.

Neil was a true gentleman, a beloved husband and father, a cherished friend, family member and colleague, a gifted singer, an exceptionally skilled attorney, and a passionate food connoisseur. He generously shared his many gifts -- cooking, singing, legal expertise, and good humor -- with all who were fortunate to know him.

Neil was born in London to Alan and Helen Dellar. He received a law degree from the University of South of England and a Masters of Law degree from Fordham University, graduating 1st in his class. While visiting from London, Neil met his future wife Wendy, also an attorney, at a client lunch in New York City and, after commuting between London and New York for a year, they were wed in 1991. They raised son Tristan in New York and Washington, ultimately settling in McLean to build a life filled with love and laughter.

Neil spent twenty years at the Federal Communications Commission after a career in private practice and was one of the founding members of the Transaction Team in the Office of General Counsel. He was known throughout the Commission as the go-to person on issues of corporate law, and his legal abilities and warm personality earned the respect and enduring friendship of his many colleagues. Throughout his life, Neil was a passionate lover of opera and choral music. He was blessed with a rich baritone singing voice and for many years performed with the choral group Choralis as well as the choir of Fairfax Presbyterian Church where he was an active member. Neil lived a profoundly contented, impactful life. He is survived by his wife, Wendy; his son, Tristan; his mother, Helen; and his beloved Lab, Maisie

Due to the current health pandemic, a private service for family will be held on September 9 to be followed by a Celebration of Neil’s life just as soon as singing in a large group is allowed again. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made in his memory to Wolf Trap Opera’s Young Artist program at www.wolftrap.org/Dellar.


No public services are scheduled at this time. Receive a notification when services are updated.


Neil Alan Dellar

have a memory or condolence to add?

Frank Inserra

September 16, 2020

I had the pleasure of practicing law with Neil for about ten years. He was a very talented lawyer, and I always enjoyed working with him. You could just tell, he was a genuinely good person through and through - a man possessed of seriousness of purpose, good humor, and a love of life. We need more like him. He will be missed by many.

Mania Baghdadi

September 14, 2020

I was so saddened to read of Neil's passing. I was a colleague of Neil's at the FCC. He was a true gentleman and a pleasure to work with. So sorry for your loss.
Mania Baghdadi

Sarah Swett

September 11, 2020

I was shocked and overwhelmingly saddened to learn of Neil's death. To his family and close friends, I offer my sincerest codolences. May God bless you and be close to you at this time.

I never knew Neil as well as some of the others who have posted here, but I would still call him a friend. I met Neil at Choralis. He was a joy to sing with -- and had a tremendous sense of humor. I often sang just a few seats from Neil -- and enjoyed his timely and well-worded (very British) witticisms at appropriate pauses in rehearsal. He was someone I looked forward to seeing each week and I will miss him.

Dan & Sophie Bromberg

September 10, 2020

Wendy and Tristan,

We are so saddened to hear about Neil's passing. We cannot imagine the pain that you must be going through right now. We will forever remember Neil as an eternal optimist -- we so appreciated his love for a good meal, drink and fun. He could fill a room.

Dan and Sophie Bromberg

Tamara Box

September 10, 2020

Neil joined my law firm- where Wendy was the partner I most admired of course - at the same time I did. He was the slightly older, wiser, more experienced and very much cooler “first year”. Oh yeah, and he was British. And married to a partner. So pretty much the guy we all wanted to hang out with. And he was funny.- definitely a Brit’s sense of humour. He became my best work mate, my advisor, my confidant - and of course the best source of gossip (not from Wendy, no, rather he just seemed to know all the other first years’ stories). In short, he was a blast - and that was before he introduced me to the Met. Yep, I was one of the lucky friends who got to accompany him to the Met for the Opera when Wendy was working. I’d never been to the Met or to an Opera before I met Neil. Just another of his passions that he shared so effortlessly.
So, basically Neil and Wendy became a big part of my social life in my first year in NY and as a lawyer. In fact, I think the dinner I had for them my flat for was in fact my first “dinner party” ever... I’ll never forget his generosity or his ability to put all around him at ease - he made moving to NY the special experience that it was for me. Miss you Neil.
Love Tamara

Annette Myers

September 10, 2020

Wendy, Tristan , Auntie Nellie, Family and friends
We are so very sorry to hear about the passing of Neil, a much loved and respected cousin.
There are no words to express the sorrow at the sudden passing, all i can say is you are all in our thoughts and prayers.
I know any words i write can never be enough but i know that although Neil is no longer on this earthly plane he is by your side and with you constantly. Forever he will be in your hearts and memories, and one day these memories will make you smile, then laugh when you remember all the funny things.
God only takes the best and he definitely gained a good one in Neil
We'll meet again, dont know when
Love always
David Annette and family xxx

Bee Moradi

September 10, 2020

Neil was a near daily presence in my life because his office was next to mine at the FCC. He was usually the first person I saw every morning, walking back and forth to the kitchen in his socks to make his tea. Around lunch, he'd serenade those nearby with his beautiful singing voice. And then at the end of the day, we'd check-in with each other again and talk about what what was for dinner. Of course, throughout the day, every time he passed my office (which was every time he left his, which was frequent, because Neil was a social butterfly), he'd tell me I was being far too quiet and working far too hard, and then teasingly accuse me of pretending to work while I was actually asleep (I assure you, I was not!). Neil was my friend. He knew my husband's name. I knew his worries for his beloved Wendy, son Tristan, puppy Maisie, and mother back in England. He had a larger than life personality. I'm going to miss him.

Alicia Thames Arnold

September 10, 2020

I am so sorry to hear about the sudden passing of Neil.
I had worked with him several times over the past few years and can honestly say that it was always a pleasure.
His calm voice and great accent always brought a smile to my face.
Neil will be missed.
My thoughts and prayers go out to the Dellar family.

Katie Gorscak

September 9, 2020

I had the pleasure to work with Neil for a few years and he always brought a smile to my face. I appreciated his candor, professionalism and straight talk! I always enjoyed talking about our dogs and our recent travels to Asia. I was so touched to hear from him this summer with a check-in email. My deepest sympathies to his family and loved ones.

Nereyda Dunn

September 9, 2020

I had the pleasure of working with Neil and will miss his funny yet knowledgeable responses. I shared with him many times that he was one of my favorite CORs, his response was always "Nereyda, don't make blush." :)

May he rest in peace and may his family find peace and comfort in the loving moments he leaves behind.


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