The Campbell family sends our condolences and prayers on hearing of Claire's passing. It's obvious from the love and caring from the Chinkel family during her illness, that she was cherished and will be dearly missed.

If I miss the funeral bec of being out of the country I want to share what I would have said had I had the chance to say it.

I am going to speak of Aunt Claire in the context of her mother, her sister and my mother. It will be a little circuitous but hopefully will demonstrate how much I love her and learned from her and them. Please forgive the grammar as I would verbalize all this and am not submitting it to the Chinkel Sentence Diagramming Review Board.

Here it goes:

I never got to know my Grandmother. She died when I was very young. However, I do remember the day she died. I was at Geranium avenue and kneeling on the floor as children do and watching that big old TV in the living room when the phone rang. It was a black rotary phone and sat on a table (or a desk  can't remember) across the hall and in between the dining room and the kitchen. I remember just like it was yesterday my mother sort of saying/yelling Mommy is gone. I will never forget those 3 words. 

But I did get to know my Grandmother's mother - Aunt Claire's mother - Gama.  Gama was the best grandmother possible. If you could imagine a perfect grandmother and then 3-D print your image I promise you that Gama would pop right out. 

Gama died when I was in my later teens and I was very sad about it. What was striking to me was that my Aunt Claire was doing what she always does  operating and taking care of business. I was a little stunned. I couldn't understand how she was able to deal so well with this tragedy. So I asked my mom how she is doing all this. My mom then said something I have carried with me to this day. I have carried it for 2 reasons. First, it resonated with me as truth and as such something to aspire toward. Second, because it revealed to me a piece of Aunt Claire and my mother that I had not understood to that point in my life. My mother's statement was as follows:

God doesn't give you brownie points for breaking down. One foot in front of the other young man

Aunt Claire had tremendous resilience. Deep stick-to-it-ness of the old school, hard core variety. Fast forward many years later and I called her 6 weeks ago to ask her how she was. She simply replied wishy-washy. She was dying of cancer and she simply said wishy-washy. Amazing. 

Now in and of itself this level of resolve is remarkable. But the thing is Aunt Claire had the extremely rare ability to combine  resolve and toughness with warmth.

As a kid you are lucky if you have parents who love you. And I do. However it is helpful to have other people who care too. Aunt Claire cared about me and not just me of course. I know my experience was not unique. But I will speak to my experience. 

On every single birthday I got a crisp $1 bill - fresh from the bank. And by the way as inflation came the crisp one dollar bill stayed as it was. Further my children get those same crisp and fresh dollar bills as well.  No one else could pull this off. On Easter the card came. On Christmas gifts from Lord & Taylor came. And when you opened a gift from Aunt Claire there was always something re-assuring when you saw that rose on the Lord & Taylor box. She always remembered. She always took the time. In this way her resolve and her warmth were one and the same.  

When you go to her house you always saw a jar of candy. That jar always had candy in it ready for the taking. And often there was A&W Root Beer under the sink. And some good eating coming soon. I was always struck by the full candy jar. It is a small thing. But it fits perfectly and it is so thoughtful. 

It is for this reason that I have TWO candy jars in my house. They have been there for many years. It is part of my homage to Aunt Claire.

I have tried to be as simultaneously tough and as warm as Aunt Claire. I learned from her its possibility. It isn't easy and I fall short regularly as she holds quite a high bar. But I try and will keep trying and for that I am and will continue to be incredibly grateful. Of course it is killing me that the dollar bill is going to stop. I get pretty upset when I think of that. But it also serves to remind me of what I need to do next. 

She is one in a billion.

Love,
David

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OBITUARY

Claire Marie Walsh

May 14, 1927 – June 20, 2017

Quinn - Fogarty Funeral Home

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