Loretta McBride was born in Woodside on December 11, 1930 to Loretta Moroney and James O’Neill. Her siblings were Pat, Dolores, Jimmy, Tommy, Winnie, and Johnny.
Loretta was born right after the Depression. Which explains why she always looked out for other people. Like her handing $5 to a homeless person or writing checks to St. Jude and veteran’s organizations.
Loretta was a bookkeeper before she married. Her ledgers are incredible. We are totally convinced she would have been a CFO if she was a woman of this generation. And her 3 sons went on to be math people - engineer, math teacher, CPA. And she shared the love of clothes and fashion with her daughter.
Recently Loretta told us the story of Claude, the man she dated before Dad. She returned Claude’s nice valentine gift because she had met Phil, who always made her laugh. That was Mom. Dad was the only Corona guy that Fr. Rudden would let in to the St. Kevin’s dance. Corona guys always caused trouble you see. Also, Fr. Rudden told Mom and her Woodside girl friends to break up so they could meet a guy. She was convinced God played a hand in meeting Dad because of Fr. Rudden’s 2 interventions.
Loretta started coming to Flushing in 1952 when she started dating Phil McBride. Loretta married Phil on November 7, 1953. Their children were Phil, Thomas, Jeanie (Bill), Gary, and Kevin (Leila). Loretta’s grandson was Kevin Hiss. The family took over the McBride Flushing house in 1973 so Loretta has been involved with St. Ann’s for 70 years.
Phil was the outgoing one, but Loretta was the one running the family. Loretta was raising the kids, handling all the family finances and budgeting for outings like vacations.
Loretta’s life took a terrible turn in 1980 when Dad died. She struggled for a few years. Friends and family tried to help her. But then her Mother (Grandma O’Neill) yelled at her, telling her she had a life to live. Grandma never yelled. Loretta said it was her mother’s last lesson.
But then she made a new life for herself, being very independent, fearless - going to plays, the pool, Atlantic City, many times by herself. And for 42 years, Loretta was Dad and Mom to the children - their hero, inspiration and leader. She was at every kids CYO game, band practice, scouting meeting, dances, etc. And she started having fun again, even dancing which she loved. For her, the love of family was everything, and she would stop whatever she was doing if the children called. She loved her 30 nieces and nephews and stayed involved in their lives.
Loretta was a very devout Catholic. Her faith carried her thru life, especially after her Phil died. Mom still used her rosary beads from St. Jean the Baptist High School in Manhattan.
Loretta made new friends wherever she went - Woodside, Maspeth, Flushing - as recently as with the aide who helped her the last 2 years. And she planned every detail for all the holidays, vacations, and Birthdays, and you better be there.
Loretta was famous for her advice. And you had to really think about what she was saying.
Here are a few of them.
“The key to a long life is to make new friends.” She did!
“Grudges are not healthy. Let go and forgive.”
“Always find out what the other person is going thru before you judge them.”
Loretta is now in Heaven with Phil after 42 years, and with Thomas after 65 years.
LORETTA MCBRIDE EULOGY by Phil McBride
St. Ann’s Church February 14, 2022
“We McBrides always have to raise the microphones when we start speaking at this podium.”
Thank you for coming.
Mom was born right after the Depression. Which explains why she always looked out for other people. Like her handing $5 to a homeless person or writing checks to St. Jude and veteran’s organizations.
Mom started coming to Flushing in 1952 when she started dating our Dad Phil McBride. They took over my Grandparents house in 1973 so she has been in St. Ann’s for 70 years.
Mom was a bookkeeper before she married. Her ledgers are incredible. We are totally convinced Mom would have been a CFO if she was a woman of this generation. And her 3 sons went on to be math people - engineer, math teacher, CPA. And she shared the love of clothes and fashion with Jeanie.
Recently Mom told us the story of Claude, the man she dated before Dad. She returned Claude’s nice valentine gift because she had met Phil, who always made her laugh. Dad was the only Corona guy that Fr. Rudden would let in to the St. Kevin’s dance. Corona guys always caused trouble you see. Also, Fr. Rudden told Mom and her Woodside girl friends to break up so they could meet a guy. She was convinced God played a hand in meeting Dad because of Fr. Rudden’s 2 interventions.
Moms life took a terrible turn in 1980 when Dad died. She struggled for a few years. Friends and family tried to help her. But then her Mother (Grandma O’Neill) yelled at her, telling her she had a life to live. Grandma never yelled. Mom said it was her mother’s last lesson.
And then she made a new life for herself, being very independent, fearless - going to plays, the pool, Atlantic City, many times by herself. And for 42 years, Mom was Dad AND Mom - our hero, inspiration and leader. She was at every kids CYO game, band practice, scouting meeting, dances, etc. and she started having fun again including dancing which she loved.
Mom was very devout Catholic. But there were times in her life she was very angry at God. In spite of these tragedies, she never lost her faith - which we found amazing. I have no doubt she was mad at God last week, not because she was dying, but because she couldn’t talk to her kids.
Mom made new friends wherever she went - Woodside, Maspeth, Flushing - as recently as with the aide who helped her the last 2 years. And she planned every detail for all the holidays, vacations, and Birthdays, and you better be there. Family events are where she will be missed the most.
Mom was always challenging her kids. I won’t betray my siblings stories. But I will tell one of mine. In 2015, I was given a nice award. She came and was proud. But a couple days later Mom knocked me off my pedestal and asked me “The awards great, but what are you going to do next? There is more work to be done.” I’m still trying to figure out her challenge.
Now she’s in Heaven asking our brother Tommy what he has been doing for the last 65 years. And she’s with Dad, the man who always made her laugh.
Mom, we will ALWAYS miss you, and I already do.
Mom Quotes - Phil
• Mom loved coloring Easter eggs every year for her whole life. The question would always come up, how many eggs are we going to do? Moms response “How many of these eggs are YOU going to eat?” Mom hated cold boiled eggs.
• We went to the US Mint in Washington DC. Mom says “Look at all this money they are printing. I wonder if we can take some of it home.”
• Mom liked “fine cuisine.” When her kids offered to take her out to dinner thousands of times over the years, she would say “Burger King”, “Boston Chicken”, “White Castle”.
• We went to Washington National Cathedral, a gigantic Episcopalian church, which has been used for many national events. Lots of tourists walking around and taking pictures of the altar, windows, etc. The choir in this church is on the altar. Mom walks onto the altar, sits in the choir, and does 10 minutes of prayer. She is the ONLY person on the altar. When asked by her anxious kids why she went up there, Mom says “There was no sign that said I couldn’t go up there, so I did. It must be OK.”
• We went to Long Island National Cemetery to see Dad and Thomas about 15 years ago. Mom suddenly breaks out laughing. “I know where I am going” Mom says. “I am getting my own spot next to Dad rather than having to share a stone with him. Equality.”
• In the last 2 years, Mom would occasionally use the wrong word on birthday cards, and they would trigger a lot of laughs especially from her. On my last birthday card, Mom wrote “Have a nice date. Love Mom.” Originally I thought it was a mistake, but looking at it now I think it was Mom sending a message. She was always 2-3 steps ahead of us.
• Mom always wanted to go to Niagara Falls with Dad, but they never got there so we took her on one of our last big family trips. Mom had to get her first passport as this was her first and only trip out of the country. We rode the “Maid of the Mist” right up to the Falls and everyone got soaking wet. No quotes here. But after the boat ride, there was Mom soaking wet with the biggest smile on her face. That smiling image of Mom is forever and proved that long ride was well worth it.
• “Enjoy your life before 80 because after 80 it stinks.” Her advice is of real practical use to me right now.
"The Scariest Day of My Mom's Life"
(as seen through the eyes of your six year old daughter, Jeanie)
When I look back on all the wonderful memories of my mother, nothing comes quicker to my mind than the sweet and funny story of what was HANDS DOWN, WITHOUT A DOUBT (and my mom would agree), "THE SCARIEST DAY OF HER LIFE!!!" To help you appreciate the story, I invite you all to travel back in time with me. The year is 1964 and the place is the 1st grade classroom at St. Stanislaus Catholic elementary school. Our beloved teacher, Sister Helen Dolores had just lost a loved one and desperately needed to go to the funeral. The principal had firmly told her she could only go if she could find a replacement to teach her classes for the day. With no time to waste, and needing someone she could trust, Sister Helen quickly turned to my mom for help. She was very fond of my mother. They had developed quite a friendship over the course of the school year. So when Sister Helen looked pleadingly into my mother's eyes, as utterly frightened and panicked as my mom was at her request, how could she possibly have said no?
Now realize what poor Sister Helen was asking my mom to do, was totally out of her comfort zone! As we all know, my dear sweet mother traveled through life in a very quiet way. She is one of those very rare moms who never yells. Her voice is very soft. On a volume scale of 1-10, she's lucky if she registers a 3. And what made my teacher's request even more frightening, was that we were a big class of fifty students. Thirty of them were high energy boys!!!
With only 24 hours to prepare for the big day, I saw my dad go into coach mode. He took my mom under his wing to give her some skills to help her through the dreaded day. He taught her how to project her soft voice, how to be stern and firm and most importantly, how not to let those fifty 1st graders know how afraid she was! "Don't let them smell fear!!!" my dad strongly advised.
When the big day arrived for my mom to teach my 1st grade class, Sister Helen couldn't have been nicer. She invited us to her classroom early so she could walk my mom through everything she needed to know. She showed her the workbooks and handouts and her lesson plan for the day. On her desk was the all important class seating plan with all the students' names. She even circled in red all the "troublemakers" my mom needed to keep an eye out for. We had quite a group of disruptive boys that gave even a pro like Sister Helen great difficulty each and every day. She wanted my mom to be prepared for their antics. And because she loved my mother so, she revealed her secret remedy for getting through a trying day. "If things get rough, Loretta," she compassionately advised, "SELL THE CANDY!!!" Once a week, Sister Helen would have a Candy Sale. She would line up the various candy boxes on her desk and have her students come up row by row to make their purchase. "With fifty children, it takes up a lot of time, Loretta." "Use the Candy Sale if you get desperate!" she laughed.
With a stern warning from Sister Helen for the class to be on their best behavior for Mrs. McBride, our school day with my mom as our teacher had begun. Well needless to say, it didn't take very long for those "red circled names" on Sister Helen's seating plan to come to life! One by one, the antics of each and every boy on Sister Helen's disruptive list went on full display!!! One boy got up to sharpen his pencils only to sit down and start firing them at my classmates' heads. Two other boys started a contest on who could get the loudest scream while pulling on the hair of the girl sitting in front of them. Another couple of boys thought it would be funny to hide inside the coats hanging on the hooks in the coat closet and scare my mom when she tried to find them.
Unfortunately, one series of antics seemed to spark another. With utter chaos and mayhem breaking out all over the classroom, my poor mom didn't know which way to turn! I knew it wasn't my mom's fault. She had been trying and trying hard. And boy did I feel for her! Those boys were a tough group and they were certainly taking advantage of her. Even Sister Helen had to try different methods to contain them on a daily basis.
But luckily, my mom is a smart and experienced mom. She quickly remembered Sister Helen's secret "remedy" for a difficult day. As she gradually regained control of our 1st grade classroom, she calmly announced to the class that it was most unfortunate that some of us had chosen to misbehave and had caused us to not finish our morning assignments. Apparently, Sister Helen had given her very special permission to do the Candy Sale today instead of Friday, which was her usual day. As my classmates gasped with utter horror and great disappointment, leave it to my amazing mom to take that opportunity to reflect on the life of Jesus! "Just as Jesus forgave the sinners," she continued, "perhaps Sister Helen wouldn't mind if I gave the class a second chance." "What do you think?" she confidently asked my classmates. And with her soft gentle way and her quick mom thinking, she had fifty 1st graders all shaking their heads in total agreement. Yes, everyone agreed with Mrs. McBride. Sister Helen, just like Jesus, would definitely think it best to give them a second chance. So for the rest of the morning my 1st grade classmates worked earnestly to finish those morning assignments. And the Candy Sale did actually take place that afternoon my mom took over as "teacher for the day." And much to my relief, just as Sister Helen had promised, that Candy Sale did end up taking a lot of time that afternoon. It was probably the only part of the day that my mom was thankful she had a big class of fifty students. That endless line of fifty 1st graders making a candy selection on her desk, finally gave my poor mom a much needed break!!!
The next time Sister Helen saw my mom, she gave her the world's biggest hug. She was so appreciative for what my mom had done for her to be able to grieve her loss with her family. When my beloved teacher, with great curiosity, asked my mom how her day went, instead of answering, my mom stood there in total awe and asked Sister Helen, "How do you do that every day?" Her simple reply was, "It's a calling from God, Loretta." But then she quickly burst out into her loudest laugh and said, "Or it's a penance for my sins!!!" The two of them stood there once again laughing in each other's arms. They were already blessed with each other's friendship, but now had acquired a new found appreciation for each other!!!
Dear Mom,
When I happened to mention to Phil while we were making arrangements for your funeral, that I had a very sweet and funny story about you when I was little and in school, without taking a breath he excitedly said, "If you're the one that had Mom as "Teacher for the Day" you have to tell that story!!! Apparently, your experience in my classroom scarred you for life. He said you referred to it often, even in your later years, as one of the scariest days of your life!
I wish I had known you felt this way. I'm so sorry I didn't know. If I did, I would have given you a big hug and told you, yes, it was one of the scariest days of your life, but your 6 year old daughter also thought it was one of the bravest days of your life! I always admired you for that day in my classroom. I got to watch you work through your fears to help out a dear friend in need. You have no idea the great example you left me with that I held close to my heart my whole life.
But, unfortunately, there was another day that was both the scariest and bravest day of your life. And sadly it affected our entire family in a much bigger way. That day was July 25, 1980-the day that Daddy died very suddenly from a heart attack in the Emergency Room at Booth Memorial Hospital. That night, all of our aunts and uncles raced to our home to be by your side to help us deal with the overwhelming shock of Daddy's death. Our family was devastated. We all felt like we had taken our last breath too! And that night when everyone went home and I watched your exhausted and grief-stricken body crawl into bed, I was so terribly afraid. I thought for sure you were going to leave us that night too and die from a broken heart. You and Daddy loved each other so. I never thought you would have the strength to survive without him. But then I saw you reach for your scared, confused and heartbroken ten year old son and wrap your loving arms around him as he climbed into bed next to you. There were no words for you to explain to him why he no longer had his loving father. But what I saw in that motherly moment was why my brother, Kevin, was born. He was going to be God's lifeline to you. He not only looked just like Daddy, but he made you laugh just like Daddy did too. He was going to be your reason to wake up every morning.
So I climbed into bed with both of you and wrapped my arms tightly around you. I was so scared for both you and for us. I just wanted to hold you both so we could get through that first night without Daddy. And I don't know how that bed fit us all, but Gary and Phil climbed into that bed too! We were the lucky ones. We were in our twenties and had Daddy play a vital role in our lives all those years. What was life going to be like for our sweet and distraught little brother without him? No one wanted to leave your side that night. As afraid as we were what was going to happen to our family, I think what the three of us were most afraid of was what was going to happen to you and Kevin. We were your human blanket that night and all of us were going to make sure you woke up that next morning.
And woke up you did! It wasn't going to be easy, but you had a new mission to your life. That mission was to give little Kevin all the love, guidance and support you had given the three of us. And just like in my classroom, I got to watch you be so very brave. Each day found you stronger and we all pitched in to help you in any way we could. You and Kevin developed a very special relationship. You both kept each other going amidst your grief. And your smile and laughter gradually came back too! That was the best of all! With Kevin being so young, you had a new start on life with a new group of caring friends and a whole new set of adventures. As Grandma firmly advised you, you were far too young to stop living your life. I was so happy for you that you were able to find enjoyment doing new things like relaxing at the pool with your friends, or traveling into the city to see the latest play and check out all the store windows or best of all going to Fordham University with your family to cheer Kevin on at his basketball games. Slowly but surely the balance in your life definitely became more happy than sad. You deserved to find happiness again. And most importantly, Daddy would have wanted that for you.
So just like in that out-of-control first grade classroom back in 1964, where I sat in awe and watched my quiet, soft spoken mom face her biggest fears being "teacher for the day"- once again at the young age of 22, I watched my devastated and grief-stricken mom take the reins of her life back after suddenly losing the love of her life. You had an inner strength that just didn't quit. All alone at the age of 49, you did a wonderful and amazing job keeping our family together. You became our mother and father, our fearless leader. As I told you repeatedly in your later years as you began to weaken with age, "Mom, you are the meekest person I know, but you are the strongest person I know!" And as you worried so, in those later years, if everything in your life was in order enough to finally meet Our Lord, you always seemed to find comfort when I would remind you of "The Beatitudes" one of your favorite prayers. I would always tell you my favorite line. The line that always makes me think of you. The line that Jesus spoke especially for you, "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."
Thank you, Mom, for being so brave and for giving us a wonderful life! We miss you already and can't imagine our lives without you, but our days will always be filled with your loving memories and your great motherly advice. We're so glad you're back with Daddy and Thomas in Heaven.
I will carry you in my heart each and every day.
Your loving daughter,
Jeanie
P.S. Please take good care of our Mom, God. Because she spent her whole life taking such good care of us!
"Conversations with Mom"
*Mom's advice to her young daughter on how to remember how to spell her last name O'Neill.
One "l" is Protestant
Two "l"s is Catholic
*When Mom showed me the shoes she wanted to be buried in, I noticed they were filled with her usual pads and inserts for her bad feet and toes.
I said, "Mom, I don't think you're going to need all those pads in your shoes. There's no pain in Heaven!"
Mom's very focused and serious response, "Jeanie, I want to be comfortable when I meet the Lord."
*(Mom's first time in the hospital with aspiration pneumonia)
"Jeanie, I can't die yet."
"Why is that, Mom?"
"I need to have everything in order."
"I need to have a big confession."
"Ok, Mom."
"I mean a "BIG" one!"
"Do you want a priest you know, or a priest you don't know?"
"I'll have to get back to you on that!"
Gary’s Eulogy to Mom
Mom lived a life based on faith, love of family and friends and what kept it all together was forgiveness.
If there were differences between individuals they were expressed, it was over and it was time to move on.
You could see her love of family by keeping us together on holidays, special events, to the way things were neatly folded and organized.
Mom would always drop what she was doing to help, stop and listen and offer her gentle strength advice.
And with that I would like to read you words of wisdom she left us that she lived by:
The following are a portion of heartfelt lyrics from the song “SUPERMARKET FLOWERS” by Ed Sheeran. They are a tribute to the memory of my Mom.
Song lyrics:
I hope that I see the world as you did ‘cause I know
A life with love is a life that’s been lived
So I’ll sing Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mom
When I fell down you’d be there holding me up
Spread your wings as you go
And when God takes you back we’ll say Hallelujah
Your home
Love,
Gary
Quotes from Mom:
On a drive to Walmart with Gary after some traffic getting there Mom asked, “Are we there yet because we’re here now”. (laughter and tears followed)
While driving on vacation in Vermont Mom stated, “There are nothing but trees here”.
Mom opened the kitchen door and looked down at Gary working out and said, “That doesn’t look like fun”.
Whenever taking mom on a drive she would say “Don’t get on the Expressway stay on the service road”
Don’t put it down unless you’re putting it away.
Clean out like you’re moving out.
“I can tell everywhere Kevin has been, he leaves a trail”
Dear Mom,
I just wanted to tell you how much I Love You. Words cannot express how lucky I was that I had you for a mom. You were selfless, loving, strong, understanding a great example for all of us. My favorite thing was making you laugh. You made all holidays and special occasions great. I know you are up there dancing with dad but sometimes Ill want you here next to me. I will speak to you daily and I will strive to make you proud every day. Whenever we play scattergories I will make sure to use the wrong letter in the first round.
Heaven got another angel to watch over us.
Love,
Your Favorite, Kevin.
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