Frederick Funeral Home
In loving memory of Parvathi Sivaramakrishnan (August 22, 1933 – December 05,
2022). She was a beloved daughter, a caring, supportive and loving wife, mother,
grandmother, great grandmother and friend. Yet she was shy and unassuming and
always said of herself "I am just a housewife".
Our mother was born on August 22, 1933, the youngest of eight surviving children to
Shri Ayyaswami Iyer and Lakshmi Ayyaswami. She had nephews and nieces nearer to
her age! Parvathi lived in the city of Madras (now Chennai) India, where her father
worked in the Public Works Department as a Civil Engineer.
Amma was very lucky to experience the love of her mother Lakshmi. Although only for
twelve years, it seemed to nourish her all through her life till the very end. Amma was
very close to her father and his passing away very early in her life was devastating to
her. The loss of her two daughters Bhavani and Rama at a very young age brought her
sadness till the very end of her life. In spite of the early losses of loved ones in her life
and she facing health issues, she remained cheerful and positive.
Amma got married at the age of 16 (1949) to our late father Vaidyanathan
Sivaramakrishnan, “Retired Deputy Director, Reserve Bank of India, Mumbai, India and
moved to Bombay (now Mumbai) immediately.
In Mumbai, we lived in Dadar Parsee Colony, where she had various close friends
across all religions and culture. She was very open to assimilating various mores in our
lives. She was very popular among her friends and our friends too. She encouraged
our friends to make our home their popular hangout place.
Her relocation to the United States of America in 1988 was initially with ambivalent
feelings, but subsequently she enjoyed living in New York.
I think what Calvin Rosser mentioned about his mom applies to all our mothers also; “I
don’t know how you can summarize or speak of an entire life. There are so many
intricacies. People are dynamic and their relationship with the world is infinitely
complex.” My mom was a unique human who was more than any of us can fully
comprehend or speak about. Yet Ram and I are attempting to write about her
today.
Our mom taught us the power of belief. During her entire life, she reiterated one thing:
her absolute and unshakable belief in us her children. No matter what the endeavor –
attend an elite university, work in a humanitarian field, conduct research to help
mankind– she believed in us. She never questioned the things that we wanted or chose
to do. She trusted and believed we would make the right decision and accomplish
anything we set our minds to do.
By believing in her children with full confidence and trust, she gave us the strength to
fight initial failures and cultivated the belief within us that we could do anything. That
belief is powerful. That belief is everything.
Our mom also taught us the power of compassion and gratefulness. She is the most
compassionate person we have ever known, and in our family, she was the most
thoughtful, kind and generous soul.
It was she who taught us to thank everyone, for the smallest thing they did for us.
Showing appreciation and gratitude makes people feel good. And, people who feel good
are more likely to impart those feelings onto others- chain effect as she used to say!
She listened without judgment. She gave without expectation. She was honest because
there was no other way to be. She loved us, and she also showed this deep love to our
dog Silky. She doted on him, and for her he was her favorite child!
She helped out because it was the right thing to do. Her friends know how helpful she
was when they felt unwell. She would do shopping for them and take meals. Strangers
would tell her their life histories or troubles; she had that approachable trusting nature.
Amma was a free and authentic spirit. She dared to be herself, however frightening or
strange that self may prove to be.
She did not stand behind the restrictive social walls many among us like to build around
ourselves. If she wanted to say or do something, she did. Instead of judging people, she
sought to understand them.
She had the strength and courage in accepting her own mortality. She used to tell us, “If
you are struggling, I encourage you to consider doing the same.” As Amma used to tell
us, “By openly embracing our own mortality, we can focus on what really matters. We
can glide past the petty frustrations of daily life, live meaningful lives, live the story that
brings us immense joy and fulfillment, and spend our finite time with the people we love
the most.
Losing your mom is a deeply painful experience. It comes with a hurricane of emotions,
processing, and reflection. We have lost our wonderful mother, companion and friend,
advisor and mentor. We are so honored to have been her dear Children. We are
grieving for the amazing relationship we had with her. We have all suffered a huge loss.
She taught us all what is really important in life - to love, support and care for friends
and family in our lives. We are all better off for having known her. It was a great
privilege to be her children.
She endured multiple surgeries and illnesses bravely for the past six years of which
three years was spent in bed; she passed away peacefully with her two sons by her
side, holding her arms and gently massaging her shoulders. She spent her final hour
with her favorite chants Vishnu Sahasranamam and Sri Subramanya Bhujangam
playing.
Amma, we are going to miss you. How could we not? You are our mom. But We, your
children know that you and Appa will always be with us. Your belief, compassion, and
authenticity will always be by our side and in our hearts.
To Ram and me personally, though, The Novel Coronavirus Pandemic which caused
disruption, devastation and loss, had a silver lining. It has forced us to take a step back,
think, understand and appreciate what it means to live and not just survive. Spending
considerable time working from home helped us spend quality time with our mother,
talking about memories made with extended family members, friends and neighbors
long gone from this world, watching her favorite movies, food video logs, soap operas,
and spiritual programs in You Tube Channel of Dish Network.
We would like to take a moment to express our sincere thanks and gratitude to Drs.
Jugal Agrawal and Sanjay Lodhi who provided her excellent clinical care and made
home visits even during the pandemic. We would also like to express our thanks and
gratitude to Jennifer Kanhai, Razia Sultana, and Mayra Martinez who made her very
comfortable, happy and cheerful, and to the Registered Nurses who periodically came
over home to provide clinical care.
Amma is survived by her sons Ramkumar and Krishnakumar, her daughter Hema, sonin-law Chandramouli, grandson Jay Prem, grand daughter-in-law Shweta,
granddaughter Pia Anita, and great grandchildren Katya, Kyontay, Ishan, Saira and
Kian.
For those who would like to attend funeral services, information is below:
A visitation for Parvathi will be held Thursday, December 8, 2022 from 4:00 PM to 8:00
PM at Frederick Funeral Home, 192-15 Northern Boulevard, Flushing, NY 11358,
Phone: 718-357-6100.
A cremation will occur Friday, December 9, 2022 from 9:00 AM to 9:45 AM at All Souls
Chapel & Crematory, 72-02 Astoria Boulevard S, East Elmhurst, NY 11370
Antyesti or funeral rites will be as per Vedic traditions.
ll Om Shanti ll ll Jai Shri Ram ll
Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.frederickfh.com for the SIVARAMAKRISHNAN family
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