OBITUARY

Raymond Albert Villandry

January 17, 1942November 8, 2020
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Raymond A. Villandry , age 78, born January 17, 1942, in Providence, Rhode Island, went to his heavenly home on November 8, 2020 in his earthly home surrounded by loved ones.

A Celebration of Life Meeting will be held on Sunday, November 15, 2020 at 2pm at Shannon Rufe Snow Funeral Chapel.

Raymond is survived by foremost a wealth of chosen friends and fellowship, and brothers, Tommy Villandry, Kevin Villandry, and Timothy Villandry; sisters, Karen Schatz and Kimberly Fandetti and numerous nieces and nephews.

He is preceded in death by his mentor, Dr. Frank Fitzpatrick; his dear friends, Paul Rostron, Don and Bobbie Canterell; mother, Gloria Sykes; and sister-in-law, Doris Villandry.

Raymond graduated from the school of hard knocks, and was a member of St. John the Apostle Catholic Church. He was a devout Catholic with a life long compassion and dedication to his faith. Raymond also lived a life of service through 43 years of tireless devotion to Alcoholics Anonymous. He enjoyed gardening, walking Rocky, reading, prayer and meditation, meetings, and Judge Judye.

If you wish to make a charitable donation in Raymond's name, you may do so to the American Alzheimer's Association or a charity of your choice.

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    Sunday, November 15, 2020

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Raymond Albert Villandry

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Erik Skjolsvik

November 15, 2020

Just yesterday, I was at a district meeting to elect service positions in our area. When it came my turn to offer my time for treatment facilities by raising my hand. I stated my service resume pertaining to Alcoholics Anonymous. The first one on my humble list was the supply person at the Foundation Group when I was around three months sober. I was to go get coffee, filters, toilet paper and the like. The guy that had that position before me offered up to take me to Sams and acquire the shopping list. He told me where he lived and we arranged a time. I really didn’t know it at the time, but his service to me was keeping him sober and it was his way of reaching out to the new person to show them what we do for each other. That gentleman was Raymond. We got in the car and went together to do something for other people. Simple acts of service like that probably filled Raymonds life and in turn filled you all up with memories of what we do for each other in the name of love. I wasn’t aware of the lesson at the time but he showed me how to be a part of the “we” and something greater than myself. As many of us know, while in the store, he didn’t show me bags of Starbucks. He pointed to the biggest cans of Folgers money could buy.

After his passing, I was looking at one of his many books that he would read daily. It is what you might expect from him, well worn and had layers of tape binding it back to health because he used it. It was a gift from a fellow when he had one year of sobriety. One of the notes he wrote inside really got me meditating. It said “to define God is to limit God”. Those seven elementary words so simple yet so huge has the hope to move mountains in my mind and soul. So again, even after Raymond has left us physically, he is still being of service with his wisdom.

Khris Smith

November 15, 2020

Raymond....

I have so many great memories of you and of course, Rocky. You were always so sweet and funny and I remember seeing you and Rocky just a mosey'n down the street and hanging out at the pool with you and Andi & Nadean. You (or someone) had to always remind me where you were from. I loved your accent so much and always guessed incorrectly Boston... which was promptly corrected to Rhode Island! Haahaa. I even had to get Andi confirm for me so I didn't mess up again! You will be missed my friend. Big hugs and Rest Easy. 💜🧡💜🧡
Khris

Dano Blair

November 15, 2020

My dear Raymond - oh how you will be missed.

A quick story about Raymond and his example to others.

Our group was thinking about celebrating our anniversary, something we hadn't done in many many years. Well, this sort of thing had to be a group decision. and Raymond was against having one. He did not see the need or any reason to go through all the fuss. When it came time to vote, Raymond voted N O.
Several member voted yes and so it was decided by group vote that we would have an anniversary celebration.
We were fortunate enough to have the use of the lease space next to ours for the day but it needed some cleaning (a lot).

I arrived early on clean-up day only to find Raymond had beat me (and several others) there. Before I knew it Raymond chose the bathroom to clean and went to it. He did an awesome job of cleaning the bathroom and didn't complain once about how dirty it was.

Raymond did not ever complain or talk negatively regarding our anniversary celebration. What he did do was help clean and set up for the event and stayed (and enjoyed) all the festivities of the day.
What a great example of following the group conscience!

Thank you Raymond !

Dano B

Wendy Echols

November 15, 2020

My dear friend Raymond. My sincere condolences to the family and all the many friends. I looked up to Raymond and considered him a mentor in my recovery. Raymond had a spiritual connection like no one I have ever known and he shared that with me. When Raymond would share in meetings it was so powerful. He helped me connect to a higher power in a way I didn't know was possible. Raymond, you will always hold a special place in my heart. Until we meet again...

Shane & Lara Kuhlman

November 15, 2020

Raymond was our neighbor. But most importantly, he was our friend. The minute we moved in, he was smiling and introducing himself to our family. He followed Jesus Christ with all of his mind, body, and spirit and set a faithful example to those around him.

Raymond was a doer. He kept his yard AND his neighbors’ yards. He watched the “neighborhood” to make sure we were all safe. He was always ready to just sit and talk with anyone that would stop long enough to listen. He was a dedicated man to God and his friends.

Our boys want to say, thank you for always letting us in your yard. They appreciated your kindness and politeness every time they saw you. They enjoyed playing on the frog in the yard, which he specifically placed in the front so the kids could play on it. But most of all, thank you for being such a good neighbor Raymond.

Raymond always had a smile on his face, no matter what was going on in his life. That smile would bring so much joy to us and our children every time we saw him. The boys would often ask, can we go talk to Raymond? Of course, we would let them because he would instill some sort of lesson in their minds. We are so blessed to have known you. We will miss you my friend. Rest well in the arms of our Lord.

Love,
Shane, Lara, Landon, and Layton

Richard Grube

November 15, 2020

I remember Raymond reading "How it Works" at a speaker meeting. Raymond's enthusiasm and his vigorous voice had my attention. Shortly after that I became a member of the Foundation Group. Raymond what you shared with me will continued to be shared and your spirit will live on with me and many others. Rest in peace Raymond.

Terry Chaler

November 15, 2020

For the last 29 years, I sat on the mornings of November 15th and thought about how I was going to help my friend celebrate his AA birthday. I'm doing it again. As always, with love and gratitude that I wouldn't be capable of experiencing or expressing without his presence in my life. His presence was a lesson on living a life of love and service. Happy birthday Raymond!!
What started as an acquaintance at work grew through sponsorship to friendship into a kinship that was thicker than blood. He is a part of me.
Every time I say `why` in the 3rd step prayer......I see his face.
Every time I hear the word `self` ......I see hear his voice.
Every time I see a smile......I hear his beautiful laugh.
Every time I hear the numbers 23 and 25 ......I feel his influence.
I could go on and on and on.....
Raymond walked with me and held my hand through it all, good and bad. So many times he was the only one, and that is as it should have been. He is my special. As we celebrate his special influence today, I pray that you not only remember that joy, but that you continue to acknowledge, nurture, and share his love. I can't help it......as He is a part of me.

Kim (Villandry) Fandetti

November 14, 2020

Ray, you have touched so many lives in such a special way. Did you know how special you were? The kind words and touching stories shared here are simply heartwarming. I'm struck by the common theme... you were THAT GUY... You showed others to persevere through "it". You showed kindness, honesty, and openess. The ripple effect is frankly amazing. May you rest in peace.

Kay Miles

November 14, 2020

I don't remember the first time I met Raymond, but he was a presence in my life for a very long time. He was my husband's sponsor and friend...and he became my friend, too.

Raymond radiated love to those around him. He had a generous and kind spirit. He was always willing to help others and freely opened his home and his heart to those in need. Raymond was a devoted friend.

Raymond lived life with enthusiasm and conviction. He was witty and light-hearted, and he had a great sense of humor. I loved to hear him laugh. Sometimes he'd get laughing so hard he'd be crying, and you couldn't help but laugh along with him.

Raymond loved a good joke, silly songs, and spending time with friends. And he was devoted to A.A.

I remember seeing him behind the podium at an open A.A. meeting and being blown away by his straight-forward delivery and honesty. He was an amazing speaker with a powerful message. Through his dedication to the program, he touched many lives and brought people of all ages to recovery.

I loved the twinkle in his eye and his warm smile. I loved his hugs.

I loved his calm and gentle nature when talking with the little children who would sometimes visit the A.A. meetings. He was a very special soul.

Raymond was like family to my husband and to me. He was there during both our happiest and our most difficult times - steadfast and ever-present. He was an important part of our lives and we will miss him dearly.


Ray Miles

November 14, 2020

I was blessed to have Raymond in my life for many, many years as my sponsor and my friend. When he wasn't able to drive anymore, I drove him to meetings, meetings and more meetings. He never stopped loving to go to A.A. meetings, and I never stopped loving to go with him.

Raymond loved to walk - so usually after a noon meeting, we would go for a walk at the park or the mall. There was lots of walking, lots of talking, singing and laughter. I cherished spending this time with him.

Once when we were walking at the mall, he saw a cardboard dog in the display window of a store. We had to stop and take a picture of him with that dog. He loved animals, even cardboard ones!

Raymond also loved to garden, and he loved flowers. While walking in the park one day, we saw a beautiful iris the same color as his shirt. I had to get a picture.

Raymond changed my life for the better. I'm grateful that God brought us together. I will miss you, my friend.

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