Balbina A. "Bina" Gaeta

Bina, as she was affectionately known by family and friends, was born in Coperchia, Italy, on January 10, 1931, and passed away on March 27, 2014, at the age of 83. Bina was the daughter of Rocco and Vincenza Petrosino. She emigrated from Salerno, Italy in 1947 with her parents, paternal grandmother and brother, Antonio, where they were reunited with her grandfather, Antonio Petrosino, who lived in Clovis. Bina attended San Joaquin Memorial High School where she graduated in 1949. In 1955, Bina returned to Italy to marry, Gaetano, "Nino" Gaeta. They settled in Clovis, Ca. and were married 54 years until Nino's passing in 2010. Bina was a homemaker and devoted herself to her children and their upbringing. We will forever hold dear her kind hearted nature, inquisitive mind and unique sense of humor. The family would like to extend their gratitude for the excellent and compassionate care she received from the entire staff at Saint Agnes Hospital and especially Dr. Marshall Flam and the Saint Agnes Hematology-Oncology Medical Group, whose staff went above and beyond in the care they administered. Special thanks also to Walt Robinson of Bright Horizon Hospice for responding promptly to our mother's needs. She is survived by her sons, Celestino and his wife Christine, of Carlsbad, Ca., Anthony and his wife Rhonda, of San Ramon, Ca., Michael and his wife Lisa of Clovis, Ca.; and her daughter, Anna Marie LaMattina and her husband Patrick of Fresno, Ca. She is also survived by six grandchildren, Gabriella, Nicholas, Francesca, Alexandria and Michael Gaeta and Marco Gaetano LaMattina. In addition, Bina is survived by her brother Antonio Petrosino of Clovis, Ca. and many beloved relatives both here and in her native land of Italy.

Bina Gaeta – Eulogy

Our mother was probably viewed by many people as being very private, shy and cautious, sequestering herself in her home most of the time – with the blinds tightly closed. However, looking back over her life reveals that Balbina Gaeta was quite a remarkable woman.

Think about it. She grew up during the Second World War in Italy. Imagine what she must have experienced during those years! She shared countless stories of enduring the trials and tribulations of the war and specifically, how scary it was having to flee to bomb shelters in the hills. In particular, she remembered her family taking in a German soldier that had defected from his country and hiding him in order to keep him safe. After the war, she immigrated to develop a new life in the United States with her brother, Antonio and parents, Rocco and Vincenza Petrosino. In those days, that meant travelling across the Atlantic Ocean by ship, or as mom said, “Da Bigga Shippa”. After a brief stay in Newark, NJ, she travelled across the United States by train to settle in California with her parents and grandparents. Quite an adventure already for a teenager, one would think.

Mom graduated from San Joaquin Memorial High School in 1949. Though she was an extremely accomplished student and according to her brother, a straight A student, she chose not to go on to pursue a college degree. Shortly thereafter, family relations in Italy suggested a suitable candidate for marriage. So, my mother travelled back to Italy in 1955, on the famous ocean liner, The Andrea Doria to marry our father, Nino Gaeta, in Salerno, Italy. After their nuptials, our parents settled in Clovis and remained there the rest of their lives raising my three brothers, Cel, Tony, Michael and myself.

Our dear mother was dedicated to being a homemaker. We affectionately recall how much we enjoyed family meals she would prepare. Some of her signature dishes that we particularly enjoyed included homemade lentil soup, pasta e’ fagioli, fettucini alla bolognese, and breaded veal cutlets. During preparations of these meals, our mother would have frequent “discussions” with our father on how the meals should be prepared. We children just had to remember to “duck” whenever one of them was trying to get their point across!

Our gracious mother also provided for our education, including parochial school, and was constantly concerned about our well-being. In fact, almost fanatically concerned! Whenever an accident, earthquake, or kidnapping would occur somewhere in the world, she would call to make sure we were all ok! In her later years, our mom embraced cell phone technology and was never without her “CELLA phone-ah”, so she could call us whenever the need would arise. She would have made a great news anchor on “C-N-N AHH” which was what she watched 24\7!

Contrary to popular belief, our mother did like to venture beyond those tightly secured blindes. Even though she never obtained a driver’s license, she enjoyed taking road trips to visit my two brothers who lived out-of-town in the San Francisco Bay Area and in Southern California. We even took her to her very first concert, Sir Elton John or as she would say, “Eltona Johnah” Yeah, he was a goodah yeah yeah!”

We were also able to get her to board small boats and venture out into the ocean in not so calm waters, with a firm grip on the mast. Other adventures included, the San Diego Zoo and Wild Animal Park. Mom couldn’t stop talking about the lion and how big and scary he was!

When I began driving, it opened up a whole new world for her. Yes, I became mom’s personal chauffeur-Driving Miss Bina! Mom couldn’t get in enough shopping or dining and believe me dining out was her pleasure. She especially loved her “Starbuck ahs” (Starbuck’s) coffee and pastries. In fact, every outing ended with a “Mochah” wit a lighta whipa” translation: Mocha with light whip.

Eventually, I persuaded Mom to board an airplane to experience her first flight to Las Vegas. I still remember it was like taking a child to Disneyland for the first time! She was in awe of all of the lights and shows and was proud of earning her first pair of wings, presented to her by the pilot himself!

Later in life, mom was our dad’s caretaker. She went through a lot and eventually fell ill herself. She was diagnosed with cancer in 2009, which was a huge blow to all of us. Courageously, our mom took the news with a grain of salt and persevered on. We lost our father shortly after mom’s diagnosis, so all of our energy was then focused on her. My husband, Pat and I took mom in to live with us. Watching and enjoying our infant son Marco grow and develop over the years, was believed by many to be the best medicine for our mother! She just couldn’t get enough of him.

It was difficult watching our mother during her illness. However, she did not seem to panic over her situation and endured the seemingly never-ending progression of tests and weekly treatments. In fact, her oncologist coined her treatment Navelbine: “Navelbina for Balbina!” And the staff got the biggest kick out of her personality and Italian accent! It felt as if I were walking in with a Rock Star as staff would shout out Balbina is here! You should have seen her face light up from all the attention! Not that she liked the treatment much, nor the side effects, but she would simply talk about it matter-of-factly. Of course, she always looked forward to a Starbuck’s treat afterward!

We suspect Mom must have known when the end was near but she never let on. In many ways, Mom was very strong. She had a fighting spirit that was to be admired. As I mentioned earlier, mom was hooked on her cell phone. The day before she died, she called me from the hospital saying she was tired and that she wanted to go home. We were fortunate to have fulfilled her wish and brought her home, where she took her last breath the following evening, surrounded by the company of family who so loved her.

It is very different now, adjusting to not having our mother with us. We will forever hold dear her generous, selfless, kind hearted nature, inquisitive mind, and unique sense of humor. Our phones will no longer ring numerous times at all hours of the day or night with breaking news or concerns for our safety. However, we take comfort in knowing that she is in heaven with family and friends who have gone before her and is happy, peaceful, and free-of-pain. We love you mom, and know that we shall all be together again someday! Ti vogliamo molto bene Mamma!