Dorla "Deanie" Dean Graham

These are just a few of the words to best describe Dorla Dean Graham, better known as Grandma Deanie. She chose to leave this world January 8, 2024, ready to reunite with all of her friends and family, awaiting her grand entrance through those pearly gates. She chose to depart before any of us got there and I could hear her say, "Sorry honey, but I didn't want to be late for the party, and if I had waited for you, it would have been harder for me to go." I thought to myself how typical that is, given the fact that she would never be one to leave the company of others first. There was a nurse with her, so there is some comfort in knowing that she was not alone.

Being asked to write this obituary for her is both an honor and a challenge. An honor because of the knowledge she has shared with me about her life while also getting to know her for the last 53 years, giving me an opportunity to pass on that knowledge. A challenge, because I only know my perspective, and can only share what I know. A snapshot of Deanie's life and the everlasting impact that her love has had on her friends, her communities, and her family, living on and being passed down to the next generation. I am her oldest granddaughter, and first met her when she was 40 years old. I'm not sure what her life looked like during the 20 years she was married and raising her children, but I have a clear vision of the first 20 years of her life, from all of the stories she told me. And then of course, my own personal experiences with her over the 53 years that I got to spend with her. I will do my best to honor her memory and the memories that I believe most any of us that knew her, would be able to recall. I am sure that a lot of what I share will bring laughter and probably tears as I bring her back to life throughout this memoir.

Oh, wait...A memoir, not an obituary. Yes. It started out as an obituary and I wanted to make it like one of those creative unique obituaries, just like her. So I began writing and kept writing and wrote some more. Five pages later, surprised and tired, I realized that it was going to be way too long, especially because I had only talked about her personality up to that point. And even though her personality was so special, there was a lot more about her life that needed to be shared. So I summarized the best I could, added more of the important details, cut out multiple things and condensed it from five pages to one and a half pages. Still too long for the newspapers. We came up with a new plan; to put a shorter obituary in the paper - directing people to this website, where they would be able to read the longer version I had originally started. So now, let's take a trip back through time as we remember our beloved Grandma Deanie.

On Feb 4, 1930, in the small farming town of Palisade, Colorado, Jack and Lula (Williams) Kneipp, introduced this little angel into the world and they called her Dorla Dean Kneipp. While she has always been proud of her name and the fact that she was named after her grandmothers (Dora and Ella), she started calling herself Deanie, as soon as she could talk. And everyone else just followed her lead. She has gone by Deanie ever since. A daddy's girl, who at age five, got her first pair of tap dancing shoes was quick to take to the stage and develop the sparkling personality to go along with the name - and of course the sparkling clothes. A Shirley Temple look alike, Deanie loved the spotlight and soaked up all of the compliments and attention that she received. Her confidence was established early on as a result. And we were able to witness that confidence and her skills, ourselves, when she began tap dancing again in her 70's. So vibrant and young at heart, an inspiration to all of us. While she loved to perform as a child, from dancing to playing a variety of musical instruments including the trumpet and bugle, she loved to make her daddy proud and felt great pride in him as well, spending hours with him, practicing his own instruments and playing in his band. Her love of music also continued throughout her life, playing the piano and even picking her accordion up again when she was in her 90's. Stenciled in glittery letters on the side reading DORLADEAN, she was able to recall the notes and sang, "There's no place like home". She described a very close relationship with her father and even toward the end of her life; she got a stuffed animal and named it JD (after her father). I can recall as a child, after he passed away, she would talk to him all the time and found great comfort in knowing that he was still there with her. That gives me hope that I can still talk to her too. Grandma shared that she was not as close with her mom growing up and that seemed to remain the case until the end of her life. She suspects that being a daddy's girl may have played a part in this. She was close with her younger sister, Sylvia, who passed away a couple of years ago. Throughout her adult years, they would go on vacations to South Padre together and she loved spending time with her, her brother-in-law, Young Snodgrass, and her nieces and nephews.

While Deanie loved music, dance and the spotlight, it should come as no surprise that she also developed a love for fashion early on. And that love had stayed with her, up to the very end. By the time she had grandkids, she was wearing formals, elegant gowns, high heels, and lots of jewelry to as many events and occasions as she could. She belonged to several organizations that gave her the opportunities to show off. As a child, she was a Rainbow Girl associated with the Masonic Temple and continued to be involved in this organization throughout her life. She was also a member of the Elks Lodge, a bowling league, and a camping group during my early childhood years into my adult years. When not dressing up in her glamorous gowns, she would still stand out, wearing clothing with sequins and/or glitter, with lots of purple- her favorite color. She had a large collection of shoes that all of the granddaughters, including myself, were trying on, dreaming of the day when Grandma would hand those shoes and dresses down to us. We wanted to be just like her. Oh yeah - And don't forget the hats and the bags to color coordinate, again- typically covered in sequins or beads that would be sure to catch your eye. As her closet grew bigger, with barely enough room for everything to fit, so did her jewelry collection, not only in size but also in worth. The old gaudy costume jewelry that she once wore, became of higher quality, fewer pieces of jewelry, but much nicer. And as a result, she would wear a lot of it at the same time. Rings on every finger, several bracelets and a necklace, a little simpler, but one that would make a big statement. Even though her earring collection was vast, she seemed to resort back to the older bigger kind that clamp on, probably because they stood out a little more. She didn't wear a lot of makeup but definitely wore lipstick - usually a bright pink or bright red color. To compliment her natural curly red hair. Which, by the way, she still had at the end of her life. Ninety-three years old, and no gray. Wow. She never seemed to care or worry about what other people thought, demonstrating self-confidence and taking pride in herself. Such great lessons for all of us young women and men in the family who got to experience her and learn the valuable lessons of self-respect and self-love.

Growing up between Grand Junction and Palisade Colorado, during the Great Depression shaped her values. The free spirited, fun loving, and, verging on eccentric woman, had deep rooted core values. As a child, she enjoyed going to work with her father at Daily Sentinel where he worked as a typesetter, and on the weekends helped her maternal grandparents pack peaches. She also described fishing trips with her daddy, on Grand Mesa and the roller dam, where he would catch the fish and then throw it up to her to do the dirty work of gutting it. She loved it. Yep, the same lady who loved to dress up in fancy shiny outfits - who would have guessed she had a little bit of a tomboy in her too and didn't mind getting her hands dirty. Her high school years sounded like something you would see in the movies. Running around with lots of other teenagers, cruising up and down Main Street, which was the place to be back then. They would hang out at the Mesa Drug, one of those soda ice cream shops from back in the day. She went to lots of dances and took lots of pictures of her and her friends. The girls looked classy and stylish, while the guys all looked like James Dean. She was such a flirt during those teenage years. Who am I kidding, she was always flirting with someone and loved to embarrass her son-in-laws, grandson-in-laws, and nephews with some not so appropriate jokes, usually with some innuendo. She was fun and funny and lightened a room with these ice-breaking techniques.

So, when Deanie wasn't out on the town, dancing, or helping her dad and grandfather, she was attending Grand Junction High School and graduated from there in 1948. She got her first job at the Avalon movie theater. From the stories she shared, it sounded like a social event rather than a job, sneaking people in through the back door, eating free popcorn, and meeting plenty of boys to flirt with. Of course. She spent her summers at the local pool with girlfriends working on their tans, while in search of more boys to flirt with. It was there, at Lincoln Park, which back then was called The Moyer Pool, that she met Denny Marvin Graham. Tall, dark and handsome, Denny was immediately smitten. I'm not sure if it was his good looks, his white uniform, or his gentle loving personality that swept her off her feet, but somehow, he was the one she chose to spend her life with. They were married on August 27, 1949 in Grand Junction, Colorado and proceeded to start a family. From that point forward, her family is what defined her. She and Denny were married for 65 years, until he passed away in 2014. They had three children: Pamela Dee (David Weaver) Graham, Denise Lynn (Fred Kuhr) Graham, and James Robert Graham (AKA Uncle Jimmy). She was a loving and supportive mother balancing her outgoing nature with the domesticated role of being a stay at home mom. The family moved to Greeley, Colorado in 1970 for Grandpa's work. She did work as a photographer for a while and had taken some massage therapy courses but her primary focus was on her family and the organizations that she belonged to. Grandma and Grandpa became dedicated members of Amaranth in 1982 and became the Royal Patron and Royal Matron at one point, a great honor that she has always been proud of accomplishing. She attended her last event with them in 2020 at the age of 90, where she was recognized once again for this achievement. She was also involved in Job’s Daughters and DeMolays, not as a member but as a proud mother and grandmother assisting her son, several of her granddaughters, grandsons and grandson-in-laws, who had each joined in these organizations as well. She was very proud to see them follow in her footsteps, learning the strong morals and values that they teach. The same morals and values that she lived by and has instilled in each of us.

Grandma considered herself a Christian. However, she did not attend church on a consistent basis. But when she did and I was with her, I got to witness another aspect of her personality, her voice. She loved to sing and would belt out the lyrics during the church choir (and sounded louder than anyone else did). As a teenager, at first I felt embarrassed, but then found it funny, and now, I just feel grateful for once again, the lesson to just be yourself, stand up, stand tall, and stand proud. She would also enjoy singing little songs softly and thoughtfully that she had memorized as a child. And speaking of her memory, she was always trying to remember something. Whether it was something she misplaced, or the name of someone or something she forgot. She spent hours into days, trying to figure it out - and she always did, eventually. I swear, even up to the last week of her life, her memory was better than mine. I find myself doing the same thing, but thanks to the internet and tracking devices, I don't have to think as hard. Sometimes, she would shock me at the details she would recall and people’s names she could remember, that I couldn't even remember. I'm sure her persistence in recalling things over the years helped with that. I recall how proud she was to have 11 grandchildren, before the great-grandchildren arrived, and would go through all of their names and birthdays. Near the end, she was still doing this, from her children all the way down to her great-great-grandchildren (just the names, she finally gave up on the birthdays a long time ago). I always reminded her that none of us would exist if it weren't for her. She was so proud of the family that she created and loved each of us with all her heart and soul.

Pam, Denise, and Jim -3

Pam had Lyla, Mike, Dana, and Sandy - 4

Denise had Angie, Amber, and Stephanie -3

Jim had Matthew, Kahlon, Jordan, and Megan - 4

Dana had Ryder and Jamyson -2

Angie had Christopher, Cortni, and Shyanne - 3

Amber had Bergen and Cooper- and she always included Rachel - 3

Stephanie had Kierra, Jordan, Lucas, Zachary, Levi - 5

Kahlon had Maleah, Sophia, and Ryker - 3

Christopher had Zeph, Sophie, Leilani, and Lucas -4

Cortni had Amara and Thomas -2

Jordan had Roman, and last but not least, Tobias -who traded places with Grandma when she took his place as an angel in heaven. -2

For a grand total of 37 souls, all in existence thanks to her DNA. And Grandpa’s. We have to give him some of the credit too.

Another thing that Deanie enjoyed was traveling and boy, did she travel. She valued her friendships with Lois and Bill Sorter, and Truman and Georgia Hall, in her adult years, and they went on several cruises together. She explored Hawaii, Alaska, and the Caribbean; went to England, Germany, and Canada. All around the US, she and Denny loved camping in their giant RV, appropriately named “The Graham Cracker Box", and went camping on a regular basis. Mostly around Colorado, but at least once a year, they would take the long road trip out to California to see their son. They would always invite a few of the grandkids to come along and we all loved the adventures and time we got to spend with them. In addition to those road trips, they would make the drive over the mountains back to Grand Junction several times a year to visit with their daughters and grandchildren who lived there. No matter what part of Colorado we were in, there were lots of family BBQ's, homemade ice cream, and tons of kids. Lots of laughter and sometimes tears. But all good memories. We went to the zoo, went to the amusement park and would spend a full day wandering around shopping, for hours on end. It seemed like a tradition, something we would always make sure that we had time to go to the mall. With all of these different family activities and events, it’s funny now, when reminiscing about Grandma, the common theme that gets mentioned is her yelling at Grandpa. And all of us can still hear her, just close your eyes and listen. He had so much patience and loved her so much, that he rarely let it get to him. I never heard him yell back, not once. He would just shrug it off. I wouldn't say she had a temper, not at all, but she would get frustrated with his bad habits and driving habits and I guess yelling at him helped her to feel a little better. And he was willing to listen to it and appease her, because he loved her that much. Or maybe he just turned his hearing aids down so he didn't even realize there was a problem. He was one of the best men I have ever known - a kind, loving, generous man. And for him to have chosen her, just validates what a special and wonderful person she was too.

Grandma and Grandpa were the glue of the family. And we were their glue. Grandma was our rock and if anybody needed anything, she would be the one we would call. Her door was always open and at one point or another, most of the grandkids called it home. Grandma loved to take the whole family out to dinner. Everyone. I can't even imagine how much money they spent feeding all of us, but they loved the fact that they could do that for us. We got to go out to eat, and they got to sit at a table surrounded by everyone they loved. We were their reward, and they were ours. All of us…truly blessed.

As Grandma got older and her health began to decline, she struggled with the knowledge that she needed more assistance. With Grandpa gone, she finally agreed to move into an assisted living facility. But she continued to maintain her independence anyway she could. She refused to use a walker for several years, before she finally realized it would actually make her life a little easier. She was feisty and determined to stay young. I remember her even having a new boyfriend who lived in the facility too. Still flirting, now with the old men, instead of the young boys. But still just as young at heart as she was back then. As the years continued, and her health was not getting any better, she decided she wanted to return to her hometown. She had been living in Greeley for almost 50 years and was ready to come back to her roots, be closer to her daddy and her husband who were both laid to rest in Grand Junction. She finally gave up fighting to be that strong independent woman and allowed others to take care of her for a change. I saw a peace in her then. A contentment. When Covid hit, that was difficult for all of us, but she pushed through, the isolation, the masks, the vaccines and she came out on the other side. Not as strong but she had also gotten Covid herself, three times and managed to survive. So yeah, still amazingly strong. We would visit on a regular basis and she would reminisce about her early years and her family and would always talk about what a great life she had. She lived for her memories and they were so good, that she did not want to die. Blind, deaf, and bedridden, she was happy and still loving her life until the very end. Another lesson for all of us to take with us: Enjoy your life, value each other and the experiences you have, always focus on the positive, be kind, and love. Love each other and love yourself. What an amazing woman. I miss her so much already. But I am glad that she is finally free to soar. I would say, may she rest in peace. But that's not her style. Instead, what I will say is, please watch over all of us, remind us often of the lessons you taught us, guide us if needed, comfort us when we are in pain, and help each of us to continue making you proud. A Hui Hou.