Rest In Peace---Barbara Rae Slater

December 3, 1934---April 10, 2012

Forever in our hearts

Dear Mom,

As this Memorial Guest Book closes for entries tomorrow, I've written a final poem. I will own a copy of this book, and keep it very close to my bed, while keeping you in my heart and soul everyday. I love you very much. I miss you very much. I admire you very much as I hope is captured in my poem for you.
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It's hard for me to close this book memorializing you
Although these words from friends and kin are beautiful to view
There are no words that can express my sadness, feeling blue
I think of you as though you're here, it helps to get me through.

I only pray that I possess the qualities in you
A smile that lights up any room illuminates the view
Your laughter was like music and most anyone would say
To be with you would be the way to brighten up their day.

You loved to be with people and they loved to be with you
Many loved to speak to you because you were true blue
A confidant for many, you always lent an ear
With good advice you offered, there was nothing they could fear.

You were so creative with the crafts you loved to do
Your needlepoint's magnificent, proudly hung for all to view
Your knitting was perfection, the sweaters that you made
Worn by many people, you really made the grade.

Your singing was amazing, so beautiful to hear
Your voice was quite angelic, so lovely and so clear
People loved to listen to you sing when you were there
In fact you sang most all the time and almost anywhere.

You were loved by everyone, especially by Dad
Your children and your grandkids, the same feelings they all had
The thing I really pray for…so I can truly boast
I pray I have the qualities that you possessed – the most.

People in Century Village are still telling me that Barbara was such a wonderful person. Each one seems to have his/her own story as to why Barbara was loved and admired. Each accolade seems to bring both a smile and a tear to my face. There is no doubt about it - I was and I still am a lucky man.
Many of Barbara's strong points have been spelled out in this memorial by family and friends. I would like to add and embellish on this so that no stone be left unturned.
Barbara's flair for writing often had her blurt out verbatim what was about to be said on television. Also, if I couldn't understand a facet of a movie, Barbara was there to explain it to me. 
Barbara was never ashamed to speak or sing in public. She made many appearances at meetings of the umbrella organization of Century Village to push for certain safety measures. As for singing, she had a gorgeous soprano voice. I often accompanied her on the piano at singalongs and such, but never did we have more fun than during Steve and Carol's childhood years when we all gathered around the piano to sing beautiful old-time music as well as popular songs. 
Barbara was a reasonably good bridge player, and a couple of points are worthy of mention. When she and her partner disagreed on a hand, Barbara was usually correct. More startling is the fact that in my sixty years of playing bridge in clubs and tournaments, many of which were with excellent partners, the best score I ever obtained came in a cruise tournament (76 plus%) with Barbara as my partner. I was very proud of her.
Finally, let me say that no day in my life was more important than the day I met Barbara. For the whole story, refer to my article "How I Met My Wife"

How I Met My Wife
by Stan Slater

My story begins in September, 1949 when I transferred from downtown City College as an accounting major to Brooklyn College with the intention of teaching mathematics. At B.C., they provided tutoring service to high school students who applied for assistance. The fee was $2.50/hour, the entire amount going to the tutor. Considering my passion for teaching and getting paid besides, I applied and was readily accepted.
Jumping ahead to October, 1951, at which time I was nineteen years old, I went to the office to see if there were any tutoring positions available. Another math tutor named Harold was seeking the same thing. We were handed a couple of 3x5 index cards containing relevant information of the applicants and were told to each take a card. Not having a car, I based my choice strictly on their home addresses. Harold and I opted for the same student so we decided to toss a coin. I won the toss, so my next student was Barbara Trebatch of Schenectady Ave., who needed help in geometry.
On October 25, 1951, Barbara had her first lesson under my tutelage. She was nearing seventeen years of age and she made a nice impression on me. Her radiant smile was second to none, and I was determined to see that she would pass her regents exam in January. We agreed on a weekly schedule of classes, but she indicated she would not be free on Tuesdays. That was Uncle Miltie's (Berle) night. Our first few lessons went very well but Barbara would cancel our lesson every now and then. Once when I asked her why she was cancelling a lesson she replied that her school, Tilden High, had a basketball game that day. Somewhat excitedly, I asked her if she liked basketball. "Oh yes, I love it," she replied, whereupon I asked her if she would be my date for a Brooklyn College v. Fordham U game for which I had two tickets. She excused herself for a minute or two and returned with a thumbs-up reply.
Subsequently, I found out that she had checked with her mother, who thought it was a wonderful idea.
The game took place the following week, and I can still see us sitting on a bench halfway up the stands. I don't remember anything about the game, but the key moment came at halftime. Don't even try to guess what happened next. Barbara started to put on her coat, whereupon I asked her where she was going. "Isn't the game over," she inquired? "Don't they play two halves in you high school," I wondered aloud? She flickered her eyelashes at a rate that is hardly imaginable and replied that she had fibbed in order to get out of the lesson. In reality, Barbara had never been to a ballgame. Who said people don't like being lied to! Anyhow, from that point on, Barbara became a non-paying student. We dated occasionally, but I was also seeing other girls. If you're wondering how she fared in her regents exam, she didn't quite make it. However, she did pass the following term and followed that up with success in intermediate algebra.
Fast forwarding to January 1953, we had been going steady for about a year and now we were graduating from our respective schools. One day I got a call from Barbara, asking me if I planning on getting engaged. The story was that her father was agreeable to Barbara's attending Oswego College in upstate N.Y., however, she didn't wish to go out of town if our engagement was imminent. It took me all of two seconds to answer in the affirmative, and Barbara was only to happy to say she would apply to N.Y.U. instead. She was accepted but quit school after one year, at which time I received my Masters at Columbia, preparatory to teaching math in the school system.
Now came another 'stroke of luck'. A friend of mine, Ruth, stopped me one day to say she had just gotten a job at Metropolitan Life as an actuarial student at $68/week ($71 with a Masters degree). I inquired as to the nature of that field but was simply told that my math background would serve me well. I applied for the job and was accepted, so what do you think happened next? When I told Barbara I had gotten this job, she applied for a clerical position at the Met and was successful.
In January 1955, almost a year later, we got married. Barbara worked another few months, after which time she resigned. We are blessed with two children, born in 1956 and 1957, respectively. My thirty-eight year career at the Met ended in 1992, at which time I chose to retire and settle in Boca Century Village.
We have four grandchildren and an eight year old great-grandson. Sadly, on April 10, 2012, my beloved wife passed away following a debilitating illness.

I'm glad to have known her. She was a wonderful, funny, loving person. Her smile could brighten a room. I'll miss her.

It absolutely warms my heart and runs through my body as I read these amazing tributes and memoirs of my Mom.
Mom, there is no doubt that you were a unique, incredible  person to all who knew you. 
I miss you everyday. Not one day has gone by that I don't think of you. I expect and pray that never stops. Please continue visiting in my dreams. They are extremely comforting.  
 I love you Mom...sweet dreams.

I've been struggling to find words meaningful enough to describe Grandma. She was ALWAYS my grandma, though we shared no blood, I never could tell. She was always loving and kind and smart and beautiful and funny....I never felt as if I wasn't part of her family. And when I had children of my own the same rang true for them. She was GREAT-Grandma, I still have the mint green sweater and hat she knitted for Christopher when he was born...the tag inside reading "Made With Love By Great-Grandma". And that's how I would sum Grandma up, everything she did, she did with love....we miss you and we love you, and we are so blessed to have an angel like you watching over us.

I remember my cousin Barbara as a loving wife and mother. Since I lived in New Jersey and Barbara and Stan lived in Florida, I only saw them on vacations. Joe and I enjoyed playing bridge with Barbara and Stan.

Dear Mom,
I have been very fortunate to have you as my mother-in-law. We had so many wonderful times together while the kids were growing up and you still lived in New York. I know how much you loved coming to our barbeques, and I loved cooking for you. I truly miss you and love you. You will remain in my heart forever. When we meet again, I'll have a beautiful T-bone steak just for you...BURNT just how you liked it!

I'll never forget all of the amazing memories we had with you throughout the years. Although so many people are lucky enough to be able to call you their friend, I'm lucky enough to call you family. You have inspired me in so many ways and truly helped me become the person I am today. I love you so much.

I am pleased to write this tribute to Barbara, a wonderful lady.
 I have been friendly with Barbara and Stanley for many years, and Barbara was even my bridge partner for awhile. Barbara was a delight - even tempered, bubbly, personable, and giving are all descriptions of her. 
Barbara totally enjoyed and loved people and they responded in kind.
 Barbara, your kindness, your energy, your good nature will be your legacy and should be an example to all of us. I miss you very much.

Barbara was a friendly, warm person who always greeted you with a lovely smile. She was artistic, frequently doing fantastic needle work while relaxing with friends. She also had a beautiful singing voice. She enjoyed singing with Stan in their Sing Along program at the Club House and in other choral groups.

Barbara and I became neighbors in 1996 when my husband and I moved into the apartment next door. She was different from other women I knew - she never said critical things about other people; she always had a smiling face and a cheerful greeting and she loved to sing.
Stan belonged to the Hurricane Harmonizers, an a capella men's chorus that practiced every Monday night. She never missed a session, and she was their mascot. When they joined with other groups for a concert in Olympic Heights High School across the road, she told me her plan--she was going to every shop in the two shopping centers next to the High School to ask for donations of gifts or cash to be given out as door prizes. I said, "They'll give it to you?" She said "Oh, yes they will!" And they did! The end of the concert was a grand finale of door prizes from every shop to the delight of the concert goers in the audience who were lucky enough to have winning tickets. Only Barbara could think of this and do it. She was determined when she had a good idea. 
As with the Red Cross and the hurricane in October '05-when I arrived a week later from New York, Barbara explained that she and Stan had made three trips to the Red Cross food truck to get the allotted chicken dinners for the people in our building - 80 apartments - who could not make the trip by foot in the rain and wet grounds to the Clubhouse. She had a good heart and her neighbors knew it. 
When her illness required that she used a wheelchair and I wondered if she would know me, I would greet her with a kiss on her forehead. Sometimes a week or two would go by but then when I approached her and leaned down to kiss her, I could see that the recognition was there even if her voice was not there. 
I miss her.

I want to remember Barbara by the wonderful days we spent together. Joe and I and Barbara and Stan always looked forward to Fridays, when we would play bridge at the club. Barbara and I were partners, as were Joe and Stan. After the game we would all go out to dinner, and then return to my house where we would discuss the afternoon bridge hands. I was always surprised how well Barbara remembered the hands. After that, we would have an evening social bridge game. When we discussed these hands, and while Barbara was doing her needlepoint, it seemed like she wasn't paying attention. However, she knew everything that was going on. I was really shocked at her attentiveness. Also, I can never forget Barbara's happy laughter. All of this was a wonderful part of my life.

Barbara and I always made each other laugh at silly things that only we understood.  She was a great listener and a true friend and will be missed by all those who loved her.

Dearest Barbara,

During the time that Paul and I felt like we were your closest friends, we totally loved and enjoyed being with you and Stan. We were very sad when we were unable to continue to see you. Presently, we are maintaining our friendship with Stan as you, Barbara, would want us to do. Your loving memory will remain with us forever.

I met Barbara when she and Stan came into my stqre to purchase a tablecloth. We became fast friends. She had an impeccable sense of humor and was quick on the comeback! We planned on meeting for lunch or dinner,but that never materialized. Soon after,Barbara fell ill.I saw her a few times after and was still able to make her smile.I hope you are at peace. I will always remember you and love you. Your friend Dale Weiner

Stan's Eulogy April 15th, 2012

First, I wish to extend my sincerest thanks to my family and all of my friends that are here today to pay respect to my beloved wife, Barbara. In particular, thank you Rabbi and Steve for your stirring eulogies, and thank you Carol for your beautiful heartfelt poem.

I would just like to say a few words concerning our life since my retirement in 1992. Shortly after that, Barbara and I were heading home one day walking hand in hand. With my head held high, I so vividly remember saying "Honey, I think we are the happiest couple in Century Village".

Skipping far ahead to recent years during which time Barbara was in the late stage of Alzheimer's, I found my emotional bond was growing stronger and stronger. I prayed for Barbara's survival if it could be had without her suffering. As a last resort our neurologist prescribed shock treatment for severe depression. For a couple of months, the results were incredibly good to the extent that even the doctors were startled. However, the improvement was only temporary, and I continued my silent prayer as Barbara hung on. On April 10th, upon making my daily visit to Barbara in Hospice, I finally realized it would be best if Barbara went quickly and quietly. That night, we received word that Barbara passed away.

God bless you darling. You'll always be in our hearts.

How do I know Barbara? My mother lived in Boca Century Village, and I was her caregiver until she passed away in 2006. During the afternoon when my mother napped, I would go down to the pool. There, I met Barbara and Stanley. Sometimes, Barbara would organize a bridge game and I would be invited to play. Even better, were the times when we just sat and talked. She was a good listener and you can confide in her. Occasionally, Barbara, Stan, my mother and I would have dinner together at a local restaurant. My mother really enjoyed Barbara's company.
Barbara was a creative person. I remember her sitting at the pool knitting beautiful sweaters or doing lovely needlepoint. She also enjoyed reading and was fond of the mystery writer Elizabeth George. Barbara was kind, decent and well liked by everyone. I was saddened to learn of her death.

When we came to Century Village many years ago, there was a note on the bulletin board that anyone looking for show tickets call this telephone number. We called. It was Barbara who answered the phone in her warm, friendly way. We arranged to buy the tickets, and then Barbara asked if I played Mah Jongg. That was the beginning of a long, friendly relationship between the two families. We also enjoyed several celebrations with them. It was lovely having her in our lives. We will always remember Barbara's warm, friendly, good nature personality.

Barbara is my brother's oldest child. How well I remember playing with her in the playpen.
Love,
Aunt Rhoda

you are a loving and caring person you love to smile and you are a people person barbara you alway in my heart i miss you keep on smiling in heaven you are the best person i ever work with  may your soul rest in peace

You had the brightest smile in every room. You had a friend wherever you went. 
You were wonderful in every way. We will all miss you greatly.

Barbara and I met when Stan joined the Hurricane Harmonizers, a barbershop chorus.  We quickly found we had a lot in common.  We both loved to sing, with and without our husbands.  We adored our families.  And Nordstrom's.  Once when the men were singing in Town Center we "girls" went off to shop.  I wanted earmuffs for our trip up north.  I tried on several pair and Barbara decided on one particular pair as the most becoming.  (What did she care how she spent my money?) But I agreed and bought them.  We laughed a lot and she was always fun to be with.  If I knew Barbara was going to be at a performance, I made sure I was too.  
When the fellas put on shows we worked as ushers, ticket sellers; whatever needed to be done.  She was always a willing helper.
I miss that great gal!
Love,
Phyllis

To a very special Mom,
You were always such an inspiration to me in how you lived your life. Your philosophy to forgive and forget is what I strive to follow. I will never forget your laughter, and your love of life. You were truly a special person.

It is said that time heals, but in Barbara's case we still miss her and think about her all the time. 
Our thoughts turn to our crazy Mah Jongg game at the pool, her singing on the bus during our many bus trips, the fun we had at the Social Club picnic, the great times we had at Sweet Tomato and our local Chinese restaurant! 
Barbara took such pride in her appearance. She dressed beautifully and her hair and nails were always perfect. We would never know from week to week what to expect from her hair coloring!
Thank goodness we have our memories. We'll always have Barbara in our hearts and soul.

Sweetheart,
Words cannot express my deep love and devotion to you. I feel I have been blessed and for no better reason than having you as my wife. You will be in my heart forever.
Love always,
Stan

Mom, I wrote this poem to recite at your unveiling. The family was all there with so much undying love for you. People move on to a better place, love is eternal. I miss you everyday. xoxo

We gather here beside your grave to unveil your precious stone
Throughout the year I've never felt you left us all alone
You always stand beside us, to lead us through our day
You help us find the guiding light that brightens up the way.

You come to me in many dreams and let me know you're there
I wake up feeling so much love I take it everywhere
You really never left us for you live within our hearts
And that's an everlasting place from which you'll never part.

I'd like to speak of how life was while growing up with you
Problems you encountered, couldn't know if they were true
When validation came, OCD's reality
Sally Jesse Rafael was the place you sought to be.

You wanted everyone to know just how you felt each day
You never got the chance to tell your story in that way
But Daddy, Steve and I began to understand your pain
We understood that now with help you had so much to gain.

In later years I told you that at night I'd steal some food
I'd bring it to my room and was afraid may change your mood
To my surprise you thanked me for disobeying all your rules
You never had intentions to make our life at home seem cruel.

It's not your fault that you were ill, you suffered everyday
You simply craved to live your life without the deep dismay
Although your illness caused you pain you tried so hard to be
Just like all the other Moms who simply let life be.

You are not here where we all stand you're up above with God
This is just the place your body lies beneath the earth and sod
Your soul lives on and you became the Angel of my heart
I thank you Mom because you've proved that we will never part.

One sweet day, I don't know when I'll see you once again
And at that time we'll know that "afterlife" will never end
Until that day I still will mourn the passing of my Mom
But knowing you're with God now I can feel a sense of calm.

Your presence will shine brightly forever.   What a beautiful Angel you are and will forever be the shining star that follows your family wherever they are.  Barbara,  your beauty radiates through your children every day.  Much love,  Elaine xox

Barbara, I didn't know you for a very long time or even that well, but I knew how kind and thoughtful you were through your loving daughter Carol.  I remember you sitting at the nail salon like a Queen, so beautiful with your striking red hair waiting to go to Macy's to shop which I know you loved to do.  God Bless You Always, sweet sweet woman.

Dear Mom,

The passage of time doesn't make it any easier to cope with the fact that you are gone. My love for you is infinite and I miss you greatly. At your unveiling I had trouble reciting a poem to you. Here it is.

I just thought I'd say
I love you and goodbye
We will miss you dearly
I promise I won't cry.

I will never forget our talks
Conversations on the phone
How happy you were to see me
Whenever I came home.

You worried so much about me
I worried about you too
I know this is the hardest thing
We've ever had to do.

I know you'll always be with me
Wherever I will go
No one needs to show me
I will always know.

I don't know what to do Mom
I never thought I'd lose you
Where we go from here
I  still haven't got a clue.

I hope you'll watch over me
Be my guiding light
Giving me the strength I need
To win this endless fight.

You're my guardian angel Mom
Sitting on my shoulder
Whispering your words of wisdom
As I continue to get older.

I don't want to say goodbye
You never liked it that way
We'll pick up where we left off
Au Revoir, Ma, is what I'd rather say.

It is clear by all the lives you have  touched that you were truly a magnificent person. May you rest in peace Barbara.

I've loved you then, I love you now, I will always love you. I am grateful you got to meet your great grandson Jonathan and I know you will watch over us always. RIP Grandma Barbara..FOREVER in my heart.

To my beautiful Mom,
All who knew you loved you, you were very much adored
But not all knew the struggles, you often had endured
Despite the battles you had faced, you never let them know
You were the type of woman, that didn't let it show.
We grew up in a home that was filled with love and care
and through that love you gave us the ability to share
we share the passion that you showed in everything you did
You helped to make us who we are, because we are your kids.
You were blessed to live the life that one can only dream
But we are blessed because of you, your love was like a stream
Your suffering is over now and you have found your peace
It's us who are left here still on earth who must endure the grief.
I know youre in a better place, for that I am so glad
Although you live within our hearts, we'll always feel so sad
To lose a Mom is very hard, the first one that we meet
We love you Mom, you will be missed, you were oh so very sweet.
Watch over us and keep us safe the way it's always been
Until the day we meet again, we miss you Mom, Amen.

Always in my heart and forever on my body... RIP Grandma Barbara I have always and will always love you.

Dear Barbara, Be in peace, watch over your beautiful family. You will be missed and loved forever.

R.I.P. my angel....you live on in my heart through all of eternity.....One sweet day, we will meet up again and embrace each other...till then, I miss you Mom I LOVE YOU <3

In loving of you I light a candle for you today...You and your beautiful family are in my prayers always.

OBITUARY

Barbara Slater

Born DECEMBER 3, 1934

Riverside-Nassau North Chapels

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