Mark William Sebastian

Dearest son, brother, nephew, cousin, friend, gifted surgeon, mentor and teacher, Dr. Mark Sebastian, 55, died by suicide on Memorial Day 2013 in Hartford, Connecticut.

He was born in New Haven, Connecticut in 1957, grew up in Winnetka, Illinois and attended the University of Michigan, where he received a Bachelor of Arts degree with honors in English. After choosing a career in medicine, he attended Rush Medical College in Chicago, Illinois and went on to serve at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, North Carolina until 2008 in various capacities, including Associate Professor of Surgery, Fellow in Surgical/Critical Care and Associate Dean of the School of Medicine. In addition, Mark was a Homans Fellow in Vascular Surgery while serving a residency at Brigham & Women’s Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts and, finally, served as Associate Professor of Surgery at the University of Connecticut, and Director of Trauma at Hartford Hospital in Hartford, Connecticut.

One of his greatest joys was teaching and mentoring, which he did tirelessly for countless medical students, many of whom said it was he who inspired them to become surgeons. Mark received numerous awards during his medical career, but among his most prized were those for teaching. They include the David C. Sabiston, Jr. Teaching Award in Surgery from Duke University Department of Surgery; the Resident Teaching Award, Brigham & Women’s Hospital, Harvard University; the Davison Society Excellence in Teaching Award, Duke University Medical School; and the Golden Apple Teaching Award from Duke University Medical Center, an award Mark especially cherished, as it was voted on by the Duke medical students themselves.

There are many stories of Mark’s kind gestures, both big and small, as he felt intensely the need to ease the pain of those around him: For the patient who suffered a back injury and couldn’t afford a brace, one miraculously was delivered to his porch via Federal Express. For the elderly woman with vascular disease who was prescribed dance therapy but could not afford the lessons, he paid for her lessons. Each Thursday, he would treat his medical residents to lunch, happily taking their orders and dashing off to his favorite Thai restaurant to pick up the food himself. Mark donated his services to aid the victims of disasters, most particularly those in New Orleans who suffered in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. While there, he also paid for medical treatment and helped find homes for many of the city’s displaced cats.

He found deep solace in nature, in music, in literature and art. He was funny and smart and inspiring, and all the beauty of this world was his love, his joy and his comfort.

The following words, written by Emerson in 1862 on the death of his friend Thoreau, could just as well have been written about Mark:

“The country knows not yet, or in the least part, how great a son it has lost. It seems an injury that he should leave in the midst of his broken task, which none else can finish. But he, at least, is content. His soul was made for the noblest society; he had in a short life exhausted the capabilities of this world. Wherever there is knowledge, wherever there is virtue, wherever there is beauty, he will find a home.”

Mark is preceded in death by his father, Joel Sebastian, and his mother, Frances Reitz Sebastian. He is survived by his sister Laura Sebastian, his uncle, Bruce Kole, his aunt, Ellen Reitz Conrad, cousins Adrienne, Max, Tracy, Andy, Jenny and Will, and former wife Bettina Freese.

Thanks to all those who offered love and support to Mark over the years, those who recognized the all too often ignored, yet common, profound stress that medical professionals face.

With his delight in cats and the care he provided for the many that crossed his path, if you would like to make a donation in Mark’s memory, the following are some of the no-kill cat shelters he both believed in and/or donated to:

• In Chicago, IL: The Treehouse Humane Society (treehouseanimals.org)

• In Hartford, CT: Protectors of Animals (poainc.org)

• In Durham, NC: Safe Haven Cat Shelter & Clinic (safehavenforcats.org)

• Or, just listen to and support a friend who is depressed or suicidal, and let him or her know there is no shame in seeking help.

Dearest Mark, may the Universe wrap you in its arms.