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Leo P. Gallagher & Son Funeral Home

31 Arch Street, Greenwich, CT

OBITUARY

Patrick J. Durkin

December 26, 1956July 27, 2020

Patrick James Durkin, 63, of New York City and Greenwich, CT died on Monday, July 27.

Patrick was the son of Virginia Hewitt Durkin and William Austin Durkin, Jr. He grew up in Greenwich attending North Street School and Brunswick School. Sports were a big part of Pat’s youth, whether catching passes thrown by his twin brother Tim on the Greenwich Grenadiers football team, playing pond hockey at Bridges Nursery or golf at Greenwich Country Club. At Brunswick School Pat was the Captain of the Varsity Soccer Team and played four years of varsity soccer at Middlebury College in Vermont. More importantly, Pat was a leader being a perennial class President and volunteerism played an enormous role in his life. At Brunswick he organized student volunteers for The Nathaniel Witherell home and raised money for a South Korean orphanage, and later in life his volunteer activities ranged from helping at a homeless shelter in New York City to serving on the boards of the Red Cross and the National Wildlife Foundation.

After graduating from Middlebury College and the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth College Pat pursued a career in investment banking working with Donaldson Lufkin and Jenrette, Credite Suisse, Barclays and most recently Atlas Merchant Capital. His business carried him around the world from working on telecommunication projects in South America to opening DLJ’s Moscow office. It was in Moscow where he met his wonderful wife Kristen Staples. Patrick was hosting a lavish event to celebrate their new office when he approached Kristen and asked her what she thought of the evening – her response was “Not enough caviar.” While Patrick was larger than life to many, Kristen kept him grounded and they enjoyed seventeen years of marriage together.

A successful banker, at heart Pat was a politician. Prior to business school he worked for Congressman Judd Gregg of New Hampshire and was a speech writer for Secretary of the Treasury Donald Regan. Later, Pat served on the Presidential Task Force of Market Mechanisms with former Senator Nicolas Brady and was a tireless campaigner and fund raiser for Presidents George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush, and Senator John McCain, along with numerous candidates at the state and local levels. Everyone knew Pat and he could open doors that others found shut.

Most of all Pat was a husband and father. He loved his wife and children Luke, Austin and Kate more than anything in the world. Pat shared with his children his love for travel, the outdoors, sports and anything else that they could do together. Pat will always be with them whether skiing at Okemo Mountain, hiking through the fields and woods at the Durkin family farm or walking on Capitol Hill. Along with his immediate family Pat leaves his mother Virginia Durkin, his brothers Bill and his wife Martha, Tim and his wife Liz, Tom and his wife Sue and Dan and his wife Susan, along with numerous nieces and nephews who will spend a lifetime telling stories about Uncle Pat.

Given the current circumstances no service is planned at this time. Notice will be provided at a later date as to where donations may be made in Patrick’s memory

Services

No public services are scheduled at this time. Receive a notification when services are updated.

Memories

Patrick J. Durkin

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Jed Davis

August 4, 2020

Sending prayers for strength in the face of a departure too soon for a remarkable loved one. And hopes for celebration of a noteworthy life, if not fully lived, then lived in full. At Tuck, no doubt as applied to each stage of Patrick's life, he played the role of a central actor in an indelible memory of those years. My heart goes out to Kristen, your children, brother Tim and all family and friends in this trying time. I take only small solace in imagining Patrick, reunited with Hutch, collaborating on a heavenly reunion of the Loop Group. In deepest sympathy, Jed

Gene Cummiskey

August 4, 2020

Pat and I had a great simpatico relationship - always contentious political discussions yet maintaining a respect for one's differences. His infectious personna was inescapable yet never cloying.

It is a very sad day for the entire Brunswick family and more specifically the Durkin clan.

Gene and Bet Cummiskey

Phil Giudice

August 4, 2020

So sorry to hear of Patrick's passing. My heart goes out to his family. I remember Patrick's kind smile and thoughtful perspectives at Tuck.

Peace and caring to all,

Phil

michael clark

August 4, 2020

Great leaders in life always have a way of giving more than they take. Although I worked with Pat for many years at Credit Suisse, I will remember him more for the many years that followed. Pat was kind and generous, always taking care of others before himself. His sense of humor was a reflection of his intellect. I will miss his smile, his easy demeanor, and his wise counsel.

Susan McCafferty

August 3, 2020

To the Durkin Family,

My reminiscence of Patrick is in a Civil War Seminar at Middlebury under the leadership of Professors Bill Catton and John McCardell. In one exercise Patrick role played a boisterous Senator replete with a lit cigar, and I remember that we continued the class afterwards with beers at Mr. Ups. Since then I only saw Pat at reunions. He was always gracious, spirited, focused, and happy. He always made me feel special when we talked. I suspect there are legions of people whom Patrick made feel special. That after all was his gift. Later as a Class Agent, I admired him for his leadership and generosity. We of the Class of ‘79 will miss him. And he will continue to inspire us. I am truly sorry for his family’s loss.

Susan McCafferty

Jay Moorhead

August 3, 2020

To the Durkin family,
At various times over the years, about 40 plus and counting, "Pat", "Patrick" or just "Durkin!" this wonderful, smiling, gregarious spirit lit up our lives. He was a leader....he was a mischievous devil...he was a resource...he was a friend...he was just DURKIN ! I always called him a good friend.....as I felt he was completely involved in every encounter we ever had over the years and would reciprocate in kind....yet I suspect that even though he made me feel like I would have had had box seats behind home plate at Yankee Stadium...if an event occurred there with all "good friends" .... we all would have laughed and understood that the Patrick "universe" was eons larger than even we could have thought. At that event I am sure priority wise I would have ended up in the bleachers.. it would not have mattered. We would have been together, toasting (or roasting !) Patrick, all the while in the stands holding hands and doing his bidding ...and watching Patrick on the pitcher's mound surrounded by Kristen and his 3 children ...no doubt into the microphone encouraging all of us to be the best we could be. I, like you, miss him beyond words. But, like you, feel richer for the privilege of knowing that smile. Missy and I send our deepest and heartfelt prayers and support to all the durkin immediate...and extended...family. Jay

Alixe Mattingly

August 3, 2020

There could be no better friend than Patrick, who made such a beautiful impact on everyone. For his kind and loyal friendship, joie de vivre, heart of gold, amazing humor and sense of purpose, I say thank you. For all of our friends, colleagues and families, we will miss that twinkle in his eye. He gave so much - and so much joy - to so many people and the world around him. While it is hard to imagine life without Patrick, I am grateful beyond words for the 50 + years together. I grieve for his loss, celebrate his life, and know he is in heaven and in the full and warm embrace of God. I send my love and support to Kristen, Austin, Luke and Kate and the whole Durkin Family; you were the true twinkle in his eye.

David Bates

August 3, 2020

Patrick was an outstanding person and professional, and I feel privileged to have been his friend. May he Rest in Peace. My thoughts and prayers are with all the Durkins.

David Bates

Leonard Krause

August 3, 2020

Patrick taught me my first lesson in politics. He beat me for a seat in student government freshman year at Middlebury College. And while I was upset at the time by my loss, I couldn't have been beaten by a more qualified, caring, and compassionate individual. His life was service, and I will be forever grateful for his commitment to making the world a better place through his words and deeds.
My thoughts and condolences go out to his family at this difficult time. Please know that I will always carry his memory in my heart.

Neville & Jolanta Hall

August 3, 2020

Patrick was an amazing person. He moved in exalted circles and yet he was extraordinarily humble. He never boasted of, or even barely mentioned, his astonishing network. And yet he would never hesitate to use his contacts to help a friend if he could. Whenever we met Patrick, he never talked about himself, but always genuinely wanted to know how you were, what you had been doing, and what you thought. Although he had every right to be, he was never self-centred, and that’s precisely what drew everyone towards him - his fundamental warmth.

He was generous to a fault, creative and just fun to be around. Life never stood still. He was at his happiest with above all his family and friends. Building a zip wire…jumping off the roof with Kate (ouch!).

I first met Kristen and we became friends when we both lived in Moscow in 1995, before Patrick wooed her. She called him 'flyboy'. But his indominatable spirit won over her, despite politics! When we moved to the US in 2012, we couldn't believe how lucky we were to move into Rockwood Lane and become neighbours with our great friends.

We are thinking of you, Kristen, Luke, Austin & Kate constantly. We will cherish the memories but also we are here to try to help you all continue and one day, look forwards, in any way we possibly can. All our love, Nevsky & Jola xx

FROM THE FAMILY

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