Norman James Williams Sr.

Norman James Williams, Senior, passed away on November 19th after a fifty year battle with multiple sclerosis. Finally at peace and free from the prison his body had become, he kept his positive outlook and sense of humor until the end.

Norman was born in Baltimore, MD in 1944 to Norman L. and Sue Williams. He moved to Richmond as a young child and graduated in 1962 from Douglas S. Freeman high school. He graduated from Virginia Polytechnic Institute, where he was a member of Delta Pi Zeta fraternity, with a degree in civil engineering in 1967. Norman worked for Bethlehem Steel and the Virginia highway department before taking a job with the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers in 1974 that took him and his young family to Wilmington N.C. He lived and worked there until his disease forced him to take an early retirement in the early 1980’s upon which he moved back to Richmond. He lived in Henrico County until 2002 when he moved to Portland, OR to be closer to his grandchildren and where he lived until his death.

Norman was of the old school of southern gentlemen. He stressed to his children the morals of honesty, good manners, service and integrity. He believed in responsibility and self reliance and embodied those values in the way he lived. Though burdened with a debilitating disease he was never one to pity himself. He was always willing to help others whether it was tutoring young people in mathematics or opening his home to those who needed a place to stay; giving a helping hand when he was able.

Norman was a member of First Baptist Church in Wilmington and Ridge Baptist Church in Richmond. He was also a member of the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry and the Tuckahoe Moose Lodge. He was a lifelong fan of the Virginia Tech Hokie football and basketball teams.

Norman married his caregiver, Diane Golder, in 2011 and she remained with him until his death. He is survived by his children Jill (Amy), Norman Jr (Tammy) both of Portland, OR, Jeffrey of Towson, MD, and stepdaughter, Candy Cox (Jason) as well as six grandchildren. He is also survived by his brother Robert L. Williams (Jeanette) of Hood River, OR and sister Julia (Williams) Wood of Portland, OR. A memorial service will be held on his birthday, December 13th, in Portland with final disposition to be determined. In lieu of flowers, remembrances may be made to either the National Multiple Sclerosis Society or the Virginia Home for Boys and Girls.

His children and brother contributed great effort to support Norman’s remaining in his own home until the end, and his life’s Love, Diane, positively kept him alive far beyond what any of his medical team ever predicted. His slightest need was attended to which made him very rich indeed as he often remarked.

He said, “You can’t determine which cards you get dealt, just how you play them.”

Written by his son Jimmy

Norman James Williams was the toughest guy I ever knew and remained a true Hero until the end which came on November 19 just a few weeks shy of his 75th birthday. “Battler” should have been his middle name.

He was born to Sue (Reed) and Norman L. Williams, Jr. on December 13, 1944, in Baltimore, Maryland, and at the age of five moved to Richmond, Virginia, where his parents had been born and grew up. In 1999 he moved to Portland, Oregon, and thus lived near his children and siblings.

Norman battled MS for 50 years and never lost his acute and original sense of humor, never said anything like “Why me?," never failed to be more interested in what others were going through than he was in his own condition.

Once he fell and broke off a tooth which bloodied his lips. He got up and said, “Well, every step is an adventure.” He wore a t-shirt for a while that said, “I DON’T have MS/ I’m Drunk.” And he often said, “You can’t determine which cards you’re dealt, just how you play them.”

Norman married the true love of his life, Diane Golder, eight years ago. She had been his caregiver for seven years before, and they made falling in love official on Valentine’s Day. When she years earlier began caring for him on a temporary basis, Norman was pronounced to have less than six months left to live, but over years and many, many infections and close calls, Diane became a tenacious fighter for his rights to the best care available. Too often she had to either refuse a hospital order which would have sent him home still ailing or would take him to a different hospital immediately. She literally kept him alive far longer than anyone else expected, often willing to seem bossy or even obnoxious in pursuit of that single goal.

Norman’s children are Jill Williams (Amy Miller), Jimmy Williams (Tammy), stepdaughter Candy Cox (Jason) and Jeff Williams. His grandchildren are Henry Williams, Cara Williams, Brien Williams, Emmerichgrey Cordero, Piper Larson and Birdie Larson.

Norman is survived by brother, Bob Williams, sister, Julia Wood, and many nephews and nieces including Cody Williams who was attentive to his uncle over many years.

There are also many wonderful caregivers over the years who gave Norman full and loving attention; John Quincy Adams is an example of just one who has been fully faithful and true.

Norman graduated from Freeman High School in Richmond, Virginia, in 1962 and went on to Virginia Tech to earn his BS in Civil Engineering (1967). He retired from designing bridges for the Army Corps of Engineers in Wilmington, North Carolina, because of his MS and then pushed the increasing limits of his physical possibilities during the time of his impaired mobility before becoming finally bedridden.

When he first got his first Amigo scooter, he would joke about having to keep in the slow lane on freeways and warn off impending trucks with a squeak or two of his “horn”. Many are the times when someone going out to take a walk with Norman-on-his-Amigo would become winded and fall behind after Norm sneakily “moved up the gear box into 5th.”

Norman also worked more briefly in Baltimore, Newport News, and Richmond before moving to Wilmington to work with the Corps.

In spite of his problems and discomforts, Norman would still be here battling if the choice were his. He really didn’t want to go anywhere.

He was a member of Masonic Lodges in the various places he lived and served as President of The Chin-Up Club of Portland. He had his house painted Virginia Tech colors and was an avid fan of their football team for many years, annually donating money it was a challenge to afford to that program.

In 1990 or so, many in the family thought it was time for Norm to move into some institution but he decided he wanted to live in his own home and made that work until the end of his life with the help of his daughter, his son, his wife, Diane, and many others who answered the call at various times over 30 years of struggle and success.

Written by his brother Bob