My dearest Darcy,
You often asked me why I loved you. At times I think the local events of the day clouded my answer to you. But now that you have moved on to our eternal home, it is abundantly clear. You were a woman of God, filled with love for your Savior, Jesus, and that love spilled over into everything you did: your devotion to me, your dedication and love for our children and your care in serving others. No greater love is there than one lay down his life for his friends. You have lived that well. It is very evident in every memory posted in your honor by loving family and friends. 
I will always cherish your love, your compassion, your sense of humor and the list goes on. But most importantly, I treasure your love for Jesus. Because of your steadfast faith I know I will see you again, when we will worship our Savior together. I love you and will always carry you in my heart.
All my love, always,
John

I can honestly say I only have good memories of my beautiful aunt. She glowed with kindness absolutely every time I saw her. The best memories I have were anytime she gave me a hug; they were always so warm and I could feel how much she loved me every time. I watched her be such an important part of my family over my lifetime, especially the last few years. I also watched her be such a good friend to my mom. It made me so happy my mom had someone who was always willing to help her and be there for her no matter what. It takes someone with a big heart to be such a good friend and that's what she had. 

I am so thankful to call my Aunt Darcy my godmother. I can't think of anyone else in my life who is more of an inspiration...she always did what she had to do without complaining and always made everyone feel cared about. I hope to measure up to her one day and know that now I have an angel to help me do that. As hard as it is to know I won't ever have the chance to talk to her again, I know she is no longer suffering which is the only thing that makes it bearable. I will miss sharing and giggling about funny, inappropriate jokes and miss getting her funny birthday cards that always had some funny inside joke attached. I love you so much Aunt Darcy and I can't wait to see you again someday. I hope you know what a mark you've left on every single person who has known you. 


"Why did she have to go 
So young I just don't know why 
Things happen half the time 
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, wife and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me"


Love, Marissa

Darcy has always been, and will continue to be, a grace in my life since I first met her in Philadelphia through mutual friends over 30 years ago.  She is one of the most Christ-like people I know, and when I was too outspoken or judgmental, Darcy was always an example of Jesus' gentle light. Even after we lost touch, I would often think, how would Darcy handle this person or that situation? - and I still do.  I miss talking with Darcy, and her humor, too.
Love and prayers to John, Mark, Andrea and Ryan.
Patty (Gattuso) Winters, Derwood, MD

How blessed I have been to have had Darcy in my life for the past thirty years.  Through her marriage to my brother, she became my sister-in-law, but the truth is that she was more like a sister to me.  Our lives were intertwined through the monumental years of dating and marriage, childbirth and child-rearing, sending children off to college, facing middle-age in all its glory, and caring for elderly parents.  Our years as stay-at-home moms afforded us the opportunity to spend many hours on the phone chatting about everything under the sun, and our conversations ran the gamut from light topics such as home decorating and recipes to the more serious issues of Special Education programs for Ryan and health problems of family and friends.  Darcy was a great listener, but she also had a way of straight-talking that made our conversations easy and comfortable, yet thought-provoking at the same time.  Over the years, we laughed and cried and worried and prayed, and I shall miss those times very, very much.  But, I will carry with me so many wonderful memories of Darcy - her sense of humor, her wittiness, her nurse's sensibility and calm demeanor, her absolute love for my brother and her children, her devoted care of my parents, her concern for my son when he was in the hospital, and her strong and steadfast faith in God.  I know that I am a better person for having known Darcy and been loved by her, and I will always be grateful for her presence in my life.  Godspeed, Darcy!

Darcy touched my life through her children.  I knew her most as a mother.  It was always with dedication, patience and a sense of humor that Darcy would show as she, her son Ryan and I would work together in physical therapy.  I admired Darcy's gentleness, yet quiet strength.  I am grateful for the times she shared with me and for sharing her loving and talented family with me.

May God watch over you, Darcy in your new body and may God comfort John, Mark, Ryan and Andrea in their journey without your physical presence.

Darcy was an amazing sister. We shared so many special childhood memories.Reflecting back, I remember;
- Laying in our grandparents hammock, under the shade of their big trees, on hot Montana summer days. We would play a game with our Grandpa, trying to guess the color of the next passing car. The winner was the one who could guess the car color correctly. Grandpa would always pick the color pink, then quietly drift off to sleep while we excitedly kept playing. It took us years to catch on to that one!
- walking to the city swimming pool on hot summer days.
- walking to school in the winter snow (no not barefoot, but it was cold!)
- roller skating,with skate keys hung safely around our necks
- bike riding
- playing "kick the can" after dark

It wasn't long until these childhood memories were replaced with homework, make-up, obtaining our drivers license, and hanging out with friends.

Darcy and I were very close in age, only 19 months apart. Going through high school we shared a room, our clothes, and many of the same friends. Only a year behind her in school, Darcy was a tough act to follow. She was an honor student and often held 1st chair playing clarinet in the school band. Sometimes it seemed I would never measure up, but Darcy never gloated, she was never prideful. Instead, she always had a way of encouraging the best in a person.

It was during these years that I can honestly say Darcy became more than my sister, she became my best friend.
We shared so many experiences, but it was accepting the Lord as our savior in our early teen years that really served to strengthen our bond.
I remember our motto during those high school years became "Praise the Lord Anyway!". We believed it was easy to praise the Lord when things were going our way but when God had other plans, we needed to "Praise the Lord Anyway!". Praise Him with the knowledge that he was in control and knew what was best for us.
We shared a lot of good laughs and even a few tears during those years.

Darcy was always there for me. In high school, she was beside me when I had to call our father to tell him my car was nose down in the bushes after rolling down a bank, and almost into the lake, while on a water skiing outing.
After I was married, she was there beside me, holding my hand as we walked down the long hallway to the room where I was told one of my twin son's had passed away. She stayed beside me, an unwavering support as I said my final goodbye.

Though we weren't close in miles, Darcy always found a way to stay close with her family. There were monthly telephone calls and numerous trips to Oregon with John and the kids.
She stayed actively involved in the care of our parents as they aged and was there by their sides while they were dying.

Yes, Darcy was an amazing sister, but she was also an amazing person.
Darcy was presented with many challenges in her life and she faced them head on with John at her side and the Lord as her strength.

Her care and concern of others often took precedence over her own needs. She never complained though, instead she found joy in serving others. She had a tender heart yet the strength of steel. A rare combination.

She exuded peace and calm. For this reason, people were drawn to her. She was the shoulder you could cry on and the confidante you could always trust.

Darcy faced her illness with such quiet courage. During her final days, I reflected on an old hymn with the chorus "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace". 
When John called to share the sad news Darcy had passed away, I took comfort in knowing she was looking full on His wonderful face. I knew she was wrapped safe in the arms of Jesus.

It's hard to believe Darcy is no longer just a phone call away. For now I say goodbye, but only until we are together with the Lord.

I love you Darc. Thanks for being an amazing sister.

Darcy will be an inspiration to our family forever in the truest sense of the word... "infusing Spirit." She is a precious and rare jewel in the crown of God and in our family story. The most important thing she did was make John happy, and that's where our story begins. Through marriage to John, Darcy became our sister; through the years, with their measure of joy and sorrow, trials and triumphs, she became our friend; through the last year of our time together, she became our role model and inspiration. Darcy was easy to love with her cheerful outlook, quick wit, gentle humility, down-to-earth practicality, ready acceptance of people in all their human frailty, and basic orientation to service. Darcy and I had an instant connection in our mutual appreciation for Bible Study Fellowship, and always felt comfortable sharing a favorite verse or insight. Our families always enjoyed our visits... the lively conversation, good food, fun and games, gracious hospitality, and the obvious pleasure Darcy and John had in family life. But underneath Darcy's warm hugs and soft voice was a core of steel that supported John and their family through every challenge with amazing strength. Together, they were a team of exceptional courage, resilience, compassion, and faithfulness.  Darcy will continue to be among us as we observe the fruit of her faith in the lives of her family. She is the inspiration to greatness for all of us.

Jean, Mike and the McKenna Family
Claremont, California

I first met Darcy at Oregon State University but I don't remember the circumstance. It might have been to go to the Bill Gothard seminar in Portland with her and Sharlene. We were all doing pre-nursing before we were accepted to University of Oregon's nursing school. I don't remember specifics but I know we had a lot of fun going to the Bill Gothard seminars every night. 

Then, our second year of nursing school, I joined them with Gail and Barbara to live in our little green house and become the "pill hill five." 

Darcy was a very sympathetic listener. She was not judgemental. And she seemed to require very little ego boosting. She was not overcome by insecurity or self hatred like I was. She was always so easy to be myself with because she was very accepting and appreciated people. 

Through the years, we kept in touch through our pill hill five group. Darcy remained easy to be with and real but not whiny. She didn't deny some of the hardships she went through, but didn't make them her focus either.  Even when I saw her a few months before she died, she was concerned and prayerful about my needs and the needs of her family. 

Darcy so rarely drew attention to herself. She made so much room for others to be the focus. I'm glad she is experiencing the full attention of Jesus right now. Her spiritual health was a window to Jesus for me. It is a privilege to know her and the whole family.

My friendship with Darcy began during our first year of Nursing school in Portland, Oregon.  At the end of our first year five women, which included Darcy, found a small, five bedroom house to live in together.  Darcy & I were polar opposites:  she was petite, weighed less than 100 pounds, quiet, reserved, neat as a pin, and was always getting lost when she drove around Portland.  But she took guidance extremely well.  I remember that we took our mental health term together, had the same clinic & that was a great time of deepening our friendship.
After graduation Darcy ventured off to Chicago with two other housemates.  Two years later she returned to Portland and I was also returning from living a year in Africa.  We both needed each other, but probably me more than her. While I sorted out my life-changing experience, she sorted out her relationship with a man named John, whom she had met in Chicago.  She mostly did that by landline, long distance phone calls at various times of the day or night.  She was being pursued, but she took a lot of time & thought before finally agreeing to move to Philadelphia, where John was to continue his graduate studies.  
It was sad for me to see her leave, but during that nine months Darcy was a great encouragement to me, challenged me in gentle ways to deepen my faith in God.  For my birthday that year she gave me a leather covered bible with my name engraved in gold on the cover.  Inside she wrote out a passage from Proverbs 2:1-5 and then stated "let this be your aim and goal, my beloved friend."
Darcy never again lived in Oregon, but visited her family frequently, so we had occasions to see each other.  Twice the fivesome Nursing school friends, known to a few as "the pill hill five" had reunions and we had lots of laughter and encouragement for our continued journey in life.
I thank God for Darcy's life because she kept walking in faith despite many personal health problems as well as those in her family.  I now can agree with Darcy after all these years that an afternoon nap is often just the pick me up that keeps me going.
But I'll never figure out how she kept everything so neat & tidy!
I miss my friend, she's gone too soon, but I will keep her spirit of hope alive by trying to be an encouragement to others, as she was to me and so many others.

One of my special memories of Aunt Darcy is from when I was younger. I was at Aunt Chris and Uncle Ron's wedding. I decided to ask Aunt Chris for a cousin and she laughed and pointed at Uncle John and Aunt Darcy. I walked right over and asked them for a cousin. Not too long after I got a long distance phone call just for me.  They told me they were expecting Mark.  Everyone was so excited. 

Another memory is from one of those dish-drying nights at Grandma June's. The ladies were all sharing stories about the first time they met their husbands. Some of the stories were cute, and others were funny. The best story was Aunt Darcy's. She told us how she met Uncle John.  It sounds like their second meeting went a little smoother than the first. She had us laughing so hard  we had tears in our eyes.  I also remember love in her voice as she shared the story. 

Her love for her family, her humor, and her caring ways ... That us what I will remember about my aunt.

Darcy...... We will miss your unique humor, your heartfelt care of each one of us, your willingness to always help, and your constant concern for your in-laws Harry and June.  You were a model mother with untiring devotion to your family. You were a medical reference book for the family.  But most of all, you were a mainstay for the love of your life, John.  Our family will miss your wit and care at our family gatherings -  but you will never be far from our hearts and minds.  Watch over all of us until we meet again!

I thought I'd share the tribute I gave at Darcy's home-going service-

I'm not sure when Ratch and I became friends with John and Darcy, but it was a long time ago when we met at a couples bible study and we have been together in a bible study ever since.   Almost 5 years ago we vacationed together with John and Darcy and Darcy's sister Rita and her husband Arnie in Hawaii celebrating our anniversaries.  It was a wonderful trip with good friends, seeing God's creativity,  the unparalleled beauty of the islands and enjoying the lovely weather.  We will never forget that trip and are grateful for how it deepened our friendship.

Darcy was a good friend with a warm smile.  She always wanted to know what was going on in our lives and our 2 daughter's lives, too.  She was even interested in the many grandchildren stories and pictures (so you know she was a good friend because we had a lot of stories!) She was also concerned for the welfare of my other daughter who lives in Africa, even trying a little match-making!

As I thought about Darcy's home going, I remember some of our discussions at bible study, when we decided that there were just some things we'd have to wait for heaven to understand.  Well, just think – Darcy has all those questions answered by now!  And she has met the great saints of the faith and has seen Jesus face to face who greeted her with  'well done'!

We have always been impressed with John and Darcy's depth of faith, their quiet strength and commitment to their marriage but we really saw that rachet up to another level  during Darcy's illness.  What an example of committed Christians as they faced adversity together and with their Lord.  As I visited, I never saw Darcy bitter or complaining, rather she had an acceptance and calmness about her situation.  And John's love for her was so evident in the exceptional care he provided.

There are a number of adjectives that I believe describe Darcy.  She was very  humble, soft spoken and unpretentious.  She was not conceited or envious or proud.  Darcy was unselfish and hospitable, and even when I visited her and she was very sick, she offered me tea!   She was generous with her time and her treasure, preferring to work in the background, as she did in helping with the Westlake Christian silent auction.  And, did I mention she was a good cook? Or that she had a delightful little chuckle?  

During the last couple of months, at times I would call her “sweetheart”.  I'm not a very demonstrative person and this actually surprised me that I used that term.  But as I thought about it, it fit - she had a sweetness about her – she truly had a sweet heart, a heart that was pure.  

In my devotions, I have been meditating on Gal 5:22, the fruit of the spirit.  As I was thinking of what I was going to say today, I realized that Darcy had these characteristics.  As a Christian's relationship with Jesus and their love for Jesus deepens, they naturally become more like Him, exhibiting these fruit.  As I mention each one, I'm sure you can think of times that you've seen Darcy display them.  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.

Our hearts are heavy at the loss of a special woman, who deeply loved her family and friends but we can also rejoice in the way that she chose to live and that she's with her Savior now.

With love,

Jane O'Connell

TRIBUTE TO A LOVING WIFE, MOTHER AND CAREGIVER

It is a daunting task to stand up and, in a few short words, sum up the life of someone you have lived with for nearly 30 years. I want to talk about some things that Darcy did over the last six months of her life, when she was afflicted with the brain tumor, that seem to capture the essence of who she was. During this time one of the great difficulties was the expressive aphasia that she suffered as a result of the tumor's location in the left temporal lobe - it was difficult for her to express her thoughts in words, which really created a challenge for communication. Despite that challenge, or maybe because of it, there are 4 distinct factors that stand out and reflect her character. 

The first is that she would call out my name very frequently. I believe it was because she was relying on me - maybe for more than just care giving needs but for security. I think this action highlighted her love for me. I was honored every time she told me she loved me so much. I thank God that she never lost the ability to call my name or express her love.

A second action was seen when she was exposed to little children - she would light up and become a totally different person - alert, coherent, smiling. Pastor Brandon knows this full well. The little girl in the memorial photos is his daughter. And for the record, the picture was taken a week before she passed on! I believe this represents her love for her children and her love for her role as mother.

The third point of note is the way she would light up when my mom came around. There was a special relationship there. She cared for my mom on a regular basis every other weekend up to the time of her diagnosis. In fact, one of the greatest acts of love I have ever experienced was when she had a re-occurrence of swelling after getting home in October. She was in excruciating pain and I was trying to take her to the ER, but she wouldn't go. Finally I realized she thought my mother was downstairs in bed and she didn't want to leave her. Once I realized that through the aphasia, I was able to convince her mom was OK and she was willing to go to the ER. I think this represents Darcy's care giving nature that carried her so well as a nurse in oncology, home health and hospice. She never stopped being a caregiver.

Finally, it was noteworthy that when Pastor Todd especially would pray, Darcy would come to a new level of clarity and agreement. There was something special about approaching God's throne that lit her up, which is a testimony to her great love for her savior, Jesus Christ.

That sums up a life well lived, with right priorities: love for her husband, her children, for serving others and for her Savior. A life I was privileged and proud to have shared in. I will love you forever.

Ever since meeting Darcy I admired and enjoyed her.   Jim and I knew John through grad school and met Darcy briefly as they dated.  Soon we moved away and continued our friendshp via  Christmas cards.  We were excited to learn of their wedding and celebrated with them from afar. 

When we moved back to Illinois, Darcy and John graciously let Jim and I stay with them while house-hunting.  Having Darcy as my only female friend made moving here easier.  Her easy-going manner and welcoming way made me feel at home immediately.  

I asked Darcy before we moved if I could ship an advent wreath to their house for safekeeping until we arrived and she agreed.  She commented that she could be a friend with someone who valued a life of faith.  This sharing of our faith was the beginning of a good friendship.

After our arrival, we enjoyed many dinners and good times at her house and ours.   I so enjoyed Darcy's interesting and thought-provoking questions, her quietly fun spirit, her passion for her hospice job and her faith which permeated every part of her life.  

She welcomed our children in her home and made our first Easter here special with a wonderful bunny cake even before she became a mother.  

We rejoiced during a Pizza Hut dinner when she told us she and John were expecting.  As Mark, Andrea and Ryan were born, Darcy was a calm and peaceful mother, doing what had to be done.  

I especially appreciated that she took our girls for a several day visit when we went out of town – especially since one of my girls had impetigo!   What a friend Darcy was to honor her agreement for our kids to stay.  No one else in the house caught the easily transferrable condition due to her excellent care and skills.

As young moms, Darcy and I and a few other moms started a small group with the hope of sharing our faith together.  At the time the church we both attended did not have a mom's group.  We valiantly gathered each week at a non-air conditioned space and prayed, read scripture and shared our journey.  We spent time learning more about the Myers Briggs Personality Survey and how to be better spouses and parents through both our faith journey and through better understanding of ourselves and others.  It was a crazy, noisy time between the insightful moments, the cries of children and graham cracker snacks and the sharing that only young moms have together.  What a precious and special time in my life when I needed another mom for support and prayer.  I am grateful for Darcy's leadership and friendship during those years.

While I didn't spend as much time with Darcy in more recent years, I will always treasure that she was part of my life. She loved her family so much and showed her faith in all she did.  She was a model to me of a loving wife and mother and I am grateful I was able to spend time with her during her years on this earth.  I was so sad to hear of her passing but was honored I could share in the psalms and stories of her life during the celebration of her life at Village Church.   Darcy, go in peace!

John & family,
Darcy's life touched mine before we ever became acquainted at Village Church of Gurnee, and long before I knew what it meant to walk daily with Jesus.  I was a very young mom...I think Paul was not even quite 1 yet.  My Aunt Rose who had been suffering with Multiple Sclerosis for many, many years was in her final stages at the hospice where Darcy was working.  Darcy was so kind and loving and caring and so, so good to my Aunt Rose and all of us in the family.  She showed us all the feet, hands and heart of Jesus long before I knew Him personally. I have thought of her example often as I've taken care of my own mom, tenderly and lovingly, just as Darcy did with Aunt Rose and so many others.  I give thanks to God for how He worked in and through Darcy to be another link in my salvation story.  God bless you and your whole family!

Love, Janice Brandes

John, I'm sending you the eulogy I spoke at Darcy's funeral, simple as it is:
  I would like to share how God has worked in Darcy's and my life over the years.
  I first met Darcy while we served as nurses at St. Therese STAR Hospice. She and I worked together as a team and became good friends in and out of the hospital. We even went boating and water-skiing as a foursome. When Mark and Andrea were born, my husband and I visited them several times, just to help them adjust to the new sleep patterns that having 2 little ones create so well!
  Our lives drifted into different patterns for a few years and then God brought us together again in a women's ministry called Stonecroft, where Darcy and I attended a weekend women's conference in Kansas City. While there, we shared our faith and love for Jesus with each other and our bond of sisterhood grew stronger than ever.
  Throughout our years together I've watched Darcy grow and mature in her walk with God, as she has with me. She has been a true friend and blessing to all who have known her. And how good of God to have St. Therese STAR Hospice serve her in her hour of need just as she had served others in the past there. God has been so faithful and merciful to Darcy and I eagerly await the day when we will meet again!

Dear John and Family,
I attended my first, and only Bible Study with Darcy at your home serveral years ago. Darcy was a very special, lovely, kind woman who is the one I thank for leading me to GOD. She will always be very dear to me.

God Bless you all in this very difficult time.

Dear John and Family: Our prayers pave the path through your days. May your days be alight with blessings and the surprises of God's grace. You have known the love of a lifetime and love is forever.

Jean, Mike and Family

We're grateful for the tiime and the smiles that Darcy shared with us and we're honored to be part of her extended family.
John, her kids (Mark and Dayna, Andrea and Ryan) as well as her siblings   remain in our thoughts and prayers.

Our Love is with you all,
Terry & Joe

P.S. John, remember we're only a phone call away...

Dear John and family-
Oh how Darcy will be missed!  To me she embodied the "gentle and quiet spirit" talked about in 1 Peter 3: "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."  Darcy truly had an inner, unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.  What a privilege to have known her and loved her.  And now, we'll continue to pray for you all, that the Lord will comfort you, help you to grieve well, and remember Darcy with a smile.  Much love to you all- Dan and Nancy Anderson

My thoughts and prayers are with you, John, and your family.

John, my heart goes out to you, I also lost my spouse of 42 years, and    it was the hardest  thing of my life to go through.  Time helps and many good friends.    Your second cousin Barb Riva

It's hard to put into words the impact of Darcy's life.  Where do you even begin trying to celebrate the life of someone who packed so much into her years on earth?  To say Darcy is going to be missed is quite the understatement....

In her own quiet, caring way, by touching one life at a time, Darcy was a blessing to everyone she encountered.  To Darcy, every person had great value, and was worthy of her very best care and attention.  With a well-timed word of encouragement and comfort, or simply through her steady presence, Darcy ministered to people in her workplace, through her church, and countless other places as well.

How is it that someone who was so gentle in spirit could leave such a powerful impression on so many people?  Maybe it's because characteristics like gentleness and kindness and humility seem to be in such short supply these days....and it's just refreshing to encounter someone who possesses these things so abundantly, like Darcy did.  

Without a question, the light of the Lord shined brightly through Darcy's life - and, even in her homegoing, His light is still shining through Darcy as we remember and celebrate her.

Jesus said, "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth."  These words are indeed true - and so, Darcy, it looks like you've got one huge inheritance coming your way....  

Through Jesus, we'll see you someday soon.  Thank you for sharing your life with all of us.

Darcy was the new kid in town, who arrived during our Junior High years in Florence, Oregon. Much to my delight I found our paths crossing not only at school, but also at church. It was a formative time in our lives where our world opened up to friends as well as new ideas and lots of questions.

 We were involved in band together, she sitting in the first or second chair of the clarinet section, and I much further down the line. I believe it was because of her that I hung in there, and my life was opened up to music. I remember taking Catechism classes together, memorizing The Lord's Prayer and the Creeds, and asking questions that even the adults could not answer, at least to our satisfaction. What I learned was that it was comforting to be a part of a faith community and still have questions. Darcy's friendship during this time was loving and inclusive. This gave me freedom and a desire to be a part of a church community that continues to this day.

I remember being fascinated with her family, Darcy being the third of five children. Her dad and mom were hard working people. Her dad was in the logging industry and her mom was a nurse. Her dad frightened me as he was stern and a man of few words. He also impressed me as he built a home for his family from the ground up. Her mom was a woman of few words, but she often had a twinkle in her eye as she delivered words with her dry humor, somehow seeing the lighter side of life even during the difficult times. Darcy definitely had an element of this herself!

I remember Darcy as a loving sister to her siblings, sensitive to them when they were going through difficult times, and present with them as they experienced life events of marriages, deaths of a child and a spouse.  There were times she may have disagreed with someone about something, but she never abandoned them as a brother or a sister.

One summer Darcy and I got a job together, where we thought we were going to make a difference. I think we came away learning a bigger life lesson. We were given an assignment to provide home support services for an elderly man named Shorty. It meant weekly visits to clean his home and tidy things up. Each week we would do the same chores, as if no one had ever done the cleaning. In the meantime we would converse with Shorty, learning about his life and being present to him. I believe Shorty appreciated this far more than having the job done, that we were being paid to do. Together Darcy and I started our working careers learning the value of relationships.

Darcy and I had the same career goal — to pursue a nursing degree. We started at Oregon State University where we lived in a co-op with 50 other women. The room assignments changed every quarter. Though Darcy was a quiet person she befriended people quickly and easily.

Some of Darcy's favorites that she shared with others were her like of coffee, orange soda, James Taylor and Simon and Garfunkel. We took a golf class together and quickly learned that we did not have any natural skills and laughed at ourselves more than learned anything helpful. It was the last thought of ever golfing again.

I remember so many round table discussions in which Darcy was one of many. We had conversations about life, faith, moral issues and choices. Darcy was consistently grounded in her faith, even when life was uncertain or difficult. She was always kind, had clear boundaries for herself, worked hard, and showed compassion and concern for those who were “lost” or downhearted. Darcy was one of the first persons outside of my family who I felt loved by and accepted. She encouraged me to be curious about life, inviting me to be a part of the bigger world. I am eternally grateful that I was one of many with whom Darcy shared this gift.

I'm so sorry to hear that Darcy has died. The Clemens family was a big part of my life growing up seeing all of you at church functions and youth group. I will keep you in my prayers.

                        Darcy McFarland Clemens ~ How she blessed my life


I met Darcy the first week of nursing college at the University of Oregon Health Sciences Center in Portland, Oregon, in August, 1975.  She and Sharlene (now Lena) were roommates on campus.  Gail and Mary completed this circle of friends and over that first year of sharing the challenges and foibles of nursing education, we became fast friends.  The Lord Jesus was truly at the center of this blessed friendship and His grace played out in many ways over the next three years!  We studied, prayed and worshipped together, and shared many laughs and adventures, including road trips to visit one another's families on spring breaks.  The joys were indeed multiplied and the struggles were diminished through these amazing relationships.   We all felt called by the Lord to be nurses and supported one another loyally through the many ups and downs of the nursing college years.  I don't think I am alone in saying that this was one of the best times in my life, despite and maybe because of, sharing the rigors of nursing academia with these remarkable women.

For the last two years of the three year program, we shared a house on “Pill Hill”, where the medical campus of the University was located.  It was very evident that the Lord had placed us in one another's lives because our community life in that house had a beautiful rhythm to it.  Laughingly calling ourselves the “Pill Hill 5”, we shared a common check book to pay the bills and buy food; took turns cooking dinners, eating most of them together; kept up on one another's lives, ran interference for one another when necessary, counseled and prayed together.  

We all had our roles to play in the household and among Darcy's roles were peacemaker, delicious cook, counselor and, of course, housekeeper extraordinaire. She and Lena cleaned the house with “white glove” intensity and that was a good thing, too! Her patience, serenity, perseverance, good humor and sense of fun made her a wonderful housemate!  Darcy's wisdom and kindness became known in our class and Church young adult group, so she was frequently called on to counsel friends in difficult situations.  She was a rock of faith, with a magnet-like quality that drew people to her.  I felt so fortunate to have her as a housemate and God blessed me with her as a “roomie” for almost four years.

One winter night during Senior year, as Darcy and I sat in the library pondering our future as nurses, we decided to be adventurous and seek our first nursing job outside of Oregon.  We were aided by an economy where good nursing jobs could be found all over the U.S.A.  After much prayer, research and a journey to look at the possibilities, we discerned that the Lord was leading us to Chicago, specifically, the University of Chicago Hospitals and Clinics in Hyde Park, south of Chicago.  It was a HUGE leap of faith for us both, but excitement filled our hearts as all the details blessedly worked out for us to get resettled there. 

We landed jobs in the units we wanted, got a furnished apartment in the nursing residence on campus, and found that we could take our nursing boards in Chicago while continuing to work as graduate nurses (G.N. on our hospital name tags!) until the board results came through.  There was much pride and relief when we received the notice that we could finally put R.N. on our name tags! As “icing on the cake”, newlyweds Lena and Jim also moved to Hyde Park that summer, as Jim began seminary studies and Lena started work at nearby Michael Reese Hospital.  Indeed, it was abundantly clear that God was not only looking out for us in Chicago, but had exciting plans for our futures as well!  

Life was looking up for us career women, as we finished orientation, began working and started earning our paychecks.  That was definitely fun, but the more important piece of our life at the U of C was quietly taking shape as we began to look for a church home in the area.  We settled on the Catholic Student Center on campus, called Calvert House, and were warmly welcomed by the pastor there.  Again, God's grace was at work. It was there that we met John and Dave, the wonderful men who would eventually become our husbands.   We loved that they were strong Christians, smart AND fun, so the stage was set for the relationships to grow via double and single dating, long phone conversations and shared worship.  Dave and I were the first to marry since he finished medical school in 1980 and we wanted to be together when he started residency.  Darcy was my Maid of Honor in 1980 as well as my wedding confidante.  Later, in the summer of 1982, Darcy and John were married in Oregon and I had the joy of being her Maid of Honor.  My life could have turned out totally different if Darcy had not been my co-adventurer to Chicago in 1978!  Indeed, that is not the only life that would have been seriously affected! ?

Darcy was a spiritual rock, with an authentic walk with the Lord, and she had a disarming kindness that touched everyone's heart.  There was no ambiguity in her and she would discuss faith with people quietly and without fanfare.  She shared the difficulties of any challenge straight on, with solid and quiet courage.  The first winter we experienced in Chicago was the famous 1978-79 snowy and bitterly cold winter and as we were both unused to such weather, there were serious adjustments to make, especially when we worked nights and had to cross the frigid midway at 10:30 p.m.  I remember laughing as we bundled up for the walk to the hospital, still freezing despite our mass of clothing and kicking the huge drifts of snow as we went!  She had a delightful sense of humor and laughter! 

The “Pill Hill 5” would have several reunions years later at a Michigan lake cottage, on the Oregon coast and in Portland.   Our lives took us in many different directions but we would always “take up from where we left off” in conversation and fun. 

In one of my favorite movies, “The Muppet Christmas Carol”, Bob Cratchit (aka Kermit the Frog) says to his family after Tiny Tim's death, “Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it.”   Meeting Darcy was a magnificent grace from God, a highlight of my life. Parting from her is a deep sorrow, but the incentive of meeting her again in heaven someday is yet another grace from God, to trust in His infinite goodness and mercy and to do my best to walk in faith, virtue and service during my remaining time in this earthly life.  Thank you, Darcy, for a rock solid friendship that brought me much grace and joy!                            With love always,       Barbara Henkels Dries

My thoughts and prayers to all Darcy's family. She will be missed. I will always remember her fondly and with the same smile that she brought to my face many times in High School. God Bless.

OBITUARY

Darcy Clemens

November 29, 1954 – April 12, 2012

Marsh Funeral Home

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