An appreciation of Emile Pincusm. A few of Emiles many friends share their thoughts.

From Martin Polack:
One day Emile approached me that he was speaking to an adolescent, a child of divorced parents  whose father had left the Torah world, The young man was going to Israel and did not know Hebrew adequately to live there.  Emile volunteered to spend hours with this young man to teach him modern Hebrew.

Emile only loved, he only smiled, he was always happy. He wasn't capable of anger, negativity, sadness.  His overabundance of love and happiness effused his environment. He only saw goodness in people and in everything.

I once needed a psychiatrist to work in my medical practice.   Emile refused to work there if he could not spend an entire hour with the patient and tape record  the session so that he could thoroughly review the session. He refused the position if it was to give 15 minutes sessions so that the medical practice could make money. That's how dedicated he was. 

From Jonathan Fleischmann:
It was a privilege to know Emile. He had a great talent for listening and for offering unique insights into human behavior.  I never saw him become angry or say an unkind word. Those qualities lent him a steady, leavening influence in our sometimes raucous Rambam study group.
He will be missed by all who knew him.

From Ira Greenfest:
Thanks Emile for those great Shabbat conversations you had with my father-in-law around the Rambam study table. Because of your infectious empathy and interest in his life, that old Holocaust survivor, withdrawn and fragile, came alive talking to you about pre-war Poland; about his brother and sister; about what he endured and lost. We all came alive in your presence, Emile. You were an early subscriber to the Jewish channel so that you could listen to the news from Israel and practice your Hebrew. (Someone said it was the only TV you watched.) You even brought Maariv to the group for us to branch out of Rambam and practice our ivrit. 

On your shelf in your basement still in its shrink wrap I once noticed a 6 CD set of Jean Shepherd's radio monologues from the early 60's. You were a great fan of Shep in the old days, you told me. You bought the CD's a year before. But for some reason you hadn't gotten around to listening to them. I loved listening to Jean Shepherd on WOR, too. So you lent me the collection -- you insisted I borrow them. For months before I returned them to you the CD's sat on my shelf ... unopened,not listened to. Did you ever get around to listening to the CD's? Somehow I doubt it. Could be we heard Jean Shepherd once, were touched by the experience, and did not need a CD to evoke the memories that warm the heart. It's the way I feel having spent some of my life knowing you, Emile: touched by the experience, my heart warm. 

From Noah Burstein:
My acquaintance and friendship with Emile goes back 20 years, back to when the Pincuses moved in around the corner, 1 block from us. Emile was always a perfect gentleman, kind and friendly, warm and generous to a fault. He was insightful and inquisitive. Always a wonderful conversationalist, always with good humor. He had a curiosity about many aspects of life, culture and religion. He had the capacity to re-frame and sharpen issues whenever we in the Rambam class were going in circles trying to wrap our heads around some enigmatic idea. I distinctly remember his contributions to such clarifications of issues on many occasions. Of course his devotion to the Jewish Learning Exchange was his great personal mitzvah. 

Often he would approach me with questions about difficult words and passages in the parsha and other texts; he wanted to understand the structures and the elements of the metaphors. I think he had a deep rooted  insistent curiosity to know how the world works, to glimpse what is behind the facades and to understand  the deep structure and  meaning of all things. Besides his intellect and curiosity, you could sense that he was very passionate, but at the same time he had an air of tranquility that communicated to his surroundings. I feel deeply wounded by his untimely passing; so many conversations and words that will never be.

Yehi zichro baruch.

From David Teman:
A radiant smile. Deeply caring. Calm, warm, and welcoming. Sincerity. Depth and insight. Curious, always learning. Connected to people  apparently thriving on the connections, listening deeply, non-critically, empathetic and understanding, and helping.

I remember and cherish the pleasure of time together. You encouraged us to learn more - learn Rambam, and reacquaint ourselves with the Tanach. Study the texts, and study modern Hebrew. I admired Emiles acquired fluency in the lingo of current Israeli newspaper reportage. I think of him as I pick up the newspaper in Israel, and he is still motivating me to improve. 

Emile shared his love of his home, putting meaning and beauty on the walls that showed his appreciation of his family and Jewish heritage. Greeting us when we entered, effusive in his warm embrace of his guests, and lingering with friendship at the door. With Emile and Helen, family and friends have been so clearly cherished. Its been mutual.

From Tzvee Zahavy:
The Talmud says you can know a person through Kisso, Kosso, veKaasso. Loosely translated that means through a persons commerce, cuisine and conduct you can tell a persons nature. 

I knew Emile through shul and as a neighbor for many years. In 2008 I had the occasion to enter into commerce with him. By chance I was helping my son sell his used car, and Emile was helping his son buy a used car. Emile found my listing on Teaneck shuls, came and looked, and offered to buy the car. This turned out to be a pleasant and fulfilling transaction, something not always the case when selling a used car. And I got to know Emile as a fine person.

At a subsequent Shabbat lunch with Emile and Helen I got to know his cuisine. His table was filled with good food, of course, and his conversation around it was filled with abundant ideas about religion, culture and the world. He stayed away from politics and contentiousness.

And over the years, I saw Emile as a man whose conduct was impeccable. He strove to know and respect every person for their own positive strengths. He radiated a wonderful energy to all who knew him. I wish I had known him better. I feel his loss in our community. 

May Emiles memory be a blessing for his family and his friends.












It's been many years since I saw Emile but he was a good friend to me in our West Side Minyan days.  I remember him with great fondness and respect.

To me, Emile was one of a kind. Nearly every Friday night or Shabbat afternoon that our schedules allowed, he would show up on our doorstep, with Helen in tow and his mug of tea in hand.  No matter the weather or the hour. And thus our friendship flourished.  Week after week, month after month and year after year, we sat and talked and shared thoughts, opinions and feelings on the state of the universe, the country, Israel, and our families.  Emile always interesting and always interested, forever curious and non judgmental.

And of course, we will always remember our favorite Emile quirks.  Like our showing up at his house at the scheduled time for a Shalom Zachar only to find Emile standing at the dining room table about to begin Kiddush for the Friday night meal.  The lengthy (putting it mildly) phone messages he would leave where he may or may not have ever reached the point of the call.  And the tangents!  Who could count the discussions and stories begun and never concluded because of all the tangents that Emile would go off on, leaving us laughing at the maze we would find ourselves in. And then from time to time, just to keep it interesting, he would break out in song.

In short, Emile was a true friend and our lives are that much emptier without him.

We are so very sorry to learn of Dr. Pincus's passing. He was so caring and attentive to our family. Our prayers and condolences are with his wife and children.

Thank you for being there for me. Listening to me, and helping me through my life's problems. I am a better man today thanks to all your assistance in the past. You will be sadly and deeply missed and your work will always be remembered and appreciated. Thank you. Rest in Peace friend. You are missed dearly.

                                         Liking Emile was easy; everyone did, but finding someone like him to actually care about and  appreciate you, was a cherished gift. 

Unlike many people, he probed and listened and through it, attached relevance to everything said and a sense of uniqueness to everyone.    

The ultimate renaissance man, Emile had an insatiable appetite for learning and a seeming ability to retain it all. When we played bannanagram with Helen and Emile for the first time, Emile had never played it before and in his usual humble and unhurried manner, he patiently absorbed the rules and remained unfazed as we merrily won and gloated through the first rounds. That situation was reversed as he quickly mastered the game and went on to be unbeatable. Unlike us, though, the joy of winning and proving himself was not a part of his makeup; the excitement of learning sufficed.

His guileless and gentle manner also enabled people to benefit from his enormous font of information. No inquiry felt stupid and every response was simple and relatable.  Knowing that his mother was from Alsace Lorraine, I asked  about the area and how his parents had met. It was the pale of settlement for the Jews of France, he explained, and where his father, an American attending  medical school there due to the Jewish quotas in the states, met his mother at a shul dance.  Something that had felt distant and exotic was at once understandable and unforgettable.

My last interaction with Emile embodies the sensitive and eerily prescient man that he was. When Helen and Emile spent an August weekend with us upstate, Emile borrowed a book by Shulem Deen called Those Who Go Do Not Return' and I told him I'd like it returned when he finished reading it. On Thursday afternoon, November  5,  I was handed a package by our security guard; it was the book. That night Emile died. 

Florence Berkowitz-Siegelberg

Emile was such a kind, warm person, who was a perfect match for you, Helen. I'm so glad the two of you had so many great years together and I'm so, so sorry it was cut so tragically short. 

I can't even imagine what you're going though, but I want to help you through it any way I can. Call me any time to talk, and when you're up to it, we'll arrange a visit.

I often think of the time I was staying at your house for Shabbat and I asked Emile how he felt about being so observant. He said, "When you want to be in a community, you have to follow the rules, and to me it's worth it." 

I often think of that because it reminds me that it's ok to come to Judaism and increased observance for a variety of reasons. It doesn't have to stem from a deep religious feeling (this is not a comment on whether he had that feeling or not, I didn't know him well enough to know ). If you want to get involved with Judaism because you like the community aspect, or the structure of observance, that's ok, too. 

Sending you lots of love and support.

I was so saddened to hear of Emile's death.  He was such a kind loving person.  I know he was committed to his family and faith.  I have been thinking of all of the family since I heard the news.  My deepest sympathies and condolences to the entire family.

I met Emile when I worked at Rockland Intensive Day Treatment. We were both treating adolescents. The families of the patients who spoke with me about Emile always mentioned his kind and caring manner. These qualities were immediately apparent in him anytime you spoke with him. I miss him as a professional and a friend.

Sometimes people are taken from us before we have had a chance to thank them for being a friend and being part of our lives. Emile made a difference in our lives and in the lives of countless others. As a friend, Emile demonstrated qualities that also made him a unique practitioner: compassion, kindness, empathy, patience, commitment, perseverance, and wisdom. We will forever be grateful to Emile for driving four hours (with Helen) to visit our son in the hospital and to offer us the support that we needed at the time.

Having been friends of Helen for many years before Emile entered the scene, we were thrilled when she found the perfect soul mate. Emile and Helen became partners in creating a wonderful family, a warm and welcoming home, and eventually, even becoming business partners when Emile opened his private practice.

It is clear from the tributes of his clients that Emile was a special psychiatric practitioner. Board certified in child, adolescent, and adult psychiatry, he offered counseling and not just pharmacological interventions as most psychiatrists do. He also accepted clients who could afford to see hom only through their health insurance - almost unheard of in private psychiatric practice.

There are not many people who are equally comfortable reading Popular Mechanics, American classic literature, the local sports pages, the Hebrew press, and Talmudic commentary. A life long learner, he also wanted to hear other people's stories. We thank Emile for being so connected to those around him. Emile was a mensch, and we will miss him.

His kindness and modesty were so part of very being.  May his memory be for a blessing to his family and and may they  be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

I will always picture Emile with his wonderful smile- usually on his face, always in his kind eyes. 
Our world is diminished.

Whenever we saw Emile, he was relaxed and laid-back and had a smile on his face.  A happy person who achieved so much in his life.  He will be missed.

I just moved close to the Pincuses, and had the pleasure of spending a little time with Emile and Helen over the last couple of months.  Time spent with Emile was not frivolous.  When I went to the Pincuses for lunch the first time, Emile asked me what were the three most significant events in the last decade.  That threw me completely.  The next time I saw Emile was on the first night of Rosh Hashana.  I was walking home from shul with my kids, and he had already gotten home, and was sitting with Caroline in his driveway, just enjoying spending time with her, and enjoying the cool evening breeze.  The last time I saw Emile was on Succot, the night of the lunar eclipse.  We were all watching it, and pondering on the mysteries of the universe.  It was a glorious evening.
I am so sad for all of you. I am sure you will savor your fine memories.

It is so hard to put into words all that Emile meant to us. He was a good friend,with whom we shared the joys and travails of all that is entailed in being a child, a mate and a parent. When you spoke to Emile, you knew he was truly listening, not an easy thing when today everyone is distracted by a million things. Emile epitomized goodness. We will never forget that when we had arrived late at our daughter's graduation with my elderly parents, we couldn't find them seats. Emile and Helen who were already seated,noticed our predicament and immediately offered their prime seats to my parents, which meant that they would have to stand throughout the long ceremony. Emile was always kind, patient and respectful with people, no matter what. Perhaps it was his eternal curiosity and thirst for knowledge that made him the perfect psychiatrist and friend. He truly wanted to understand other people's stories. Emile was unique, which is why losing him is so painful. Our lives have been enriched by knowing him.Hopefully we will remember his goodness and that will remind us to be better people. Dear Helen, and family,Know that while to lose such a person makes it all the more painful, you were truly blessed to have him as a husband,father,father-in-law,grandfather and brother albeit for far too short a time. We will remember him.

When I think of Emile, I think of his kindness and his warm smile.  He and Helen, his wife, had a very special relationship and one could see them lovingly communicate to each other in their own unique language. A special  man, he is greatly missed.

For our brief meeting he was so warm and happy to help, he never judged any of his patients. He was an amazing doctor and person. He will be missed by all.

I can still clearly hear Emile's kind voice greeting me whenever I saw him. He always seemed to be able to read my mood and knew when to offer a kind comment, a funny remark or to engage me in a discussion about history.  Emile, I will miss your wit, wisdom, kindness and humor.  Rest in peace, my friend.    Phil Billet

Emile was one of the most special people I have ever met. He was so kind and I felt just warm and cozy whenever I was around him. He listened very carefully to everyone. I used to watch the way he conversed with any child and his full attention was always upon them. I loved his quirky curiosity epitomized when we were at the Shabbat lunch an few weeks before he died and he looked up all this information in Tanach about a wine we brought over. He had many fascinating stories and he was absolutely never boring. We miss him immensely.

A radiant smile. Deeply caring. Calm, warm, and welcoming. Sincerity. Depth and insight. Curious, always learning. Connected to people  apparently thriving on the connections, listening deeply, non-critically, empathetic and understanding, and helping.

I remember and cherish the pleasure of time together. You encouraged us to learn more - learn Rambam, and reacquaint ourselves with the Tanach. Study the texts, and study modern Hebrew. I admire Emile's acquired fluency in the lingo of current Israeli newspaper reportage. I think of him as I pick up the newspaper in Israel, and he is still motivating me to improve. 

Emile shared his love of his home, putting meaning and beauty on the walls that showed his appreciation of his family and Jewish heritage. Greeting us when we enter, effusive in his warm embrace of his guests, and lingering with friendship at the door. With Emile and Helen, family and friends have been so clearly cherished. It's been mutual.

Dr. Emile Pincus,

Dr. Pincus was a staunch patient advocate who helped my family and I improve our mental health. 

Over a period of years, he graciously gave his time and wisdom to help us live to our potential.

To his family     May G-d comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

I will miss Emile's erudition, intellectual curiosity, hospitality and warmth.  The day was always a little brighter when we crossed paths.  To his wonderful family--My thoughts are with you, and my heart goes out to you.

Dr. Pincus was a great man and an awesome doctor.  He truly helped me in so many ways.  He will be missed.  He was a very wise and kind man.
My deepest and sincere condolences to his family.  I am better for knowing him and will remember his advice.
What a loss!

Emile touched many lives with his compassion and wisdom. He inspired us with his dedication to Judaism, to his family and to helping others. He will be sorely missed.

Ems

Farewell, buddy; I'm at a loss for words.
We knew each other when  and unlike most
Acquaintances were fated to cross paths
Time and time again  till we could truly 
Call each other friend  last not four weeks passed
On a far far happier day of laughter,
Family joy, and camaraderie.
Too soon you're gone, my friend  too soon, too soon.
You were such a joyous soul, original
In every way, forever instilling
In us the magic of everyday living.
In you were paired the sweet conflation of
Tradition and new observances. Now,
Dear Friend, rest, and let us celebrate your life.

Our deepest condolences to the family of Dr. Pincus.  We are so shocked and sad, however grateful to have had the chance to see him just prior to his passing. He has had such a positive impact on the lives of many- a legacy to be proud of.

Dr Pincus was an amazing doctor.  He helped my son as no one else did.  This is so devastating.  It will be almost impossible to replace him.  Rest in peace.  Our lives are better for knowing him.  Sincerely, Geri and Cory Frey

Dr Pincus was one heck of a guy.  He took his time, he listened to me.  He empathized with my struggles of parenthood and marriage.  I am better for having known him.  Thanks Dr. Pincus.

We just found out a short while ago and are so shocked and saddened. Dr. Pincus was one of a kind and so important to our family. Words can't express how much he will be missed. Rest in peace Dr. Pincus.

It was with the deepest sadness that I recognize the passing of a childhood friend. We attended Horace Mann together and while we were not all that close, I considered him a friend who possessed a wonderful sense of humor and a kindness of spirit. I wish all his family and friends my deepest condolences.

Rest in peace Dr. Pincus. I'm glad I knew you.

I'm so sorry to hear this -- only found out a few minutes ago.  He was a wonderful person.  Hard to take this in.  Thinking of all of you.

Dr. Pincus was one of the first psychiatrists I ever worked with, he was a very special man, I learned so much from him.  My heartfelt sympathies to Dr. Pincus and his family.

I received the sad news this afternoon that Dr. Pincus has passed away.  I had the privilege of working as a Therapist at Stony Lodge Hospital when he was the Medical Director there.  He had a fierce commitment to his patients on the Children's Unit, over which he personally presided, and he always demonstrated to me a keen interest in their individual progress, particularly as regards weekly group therapy. I am deeply saddened by the news of his passing and extend heartfelt condolences to his family. In sympathy,

Dr Pincus was a very intelligent and diligent person. My condolences to the entire family.

Our deepest sympathies to the entire family        
                 Lynn Waryha Mohegan Lake New York

My deepest sympathies to the entire family. Emile was a dear, loving friend during my childhood. I know he was a person of warmth, intelligence, and passionate concern. My condolences.

OBITUARY

Emile Irving Pincus

September 11, 1948 – November 6, 2015

Gutterman and Musicant Jewish Funeral Directors

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