Even though Anne Pollack surely lived a long, full life, Mrs. Pollack died unexpectedly and too soon. She didn't hear us say we love her one last time. She didn't receive our Christmas dinner, she missed our conversations of gratitude for her, she didn't know about our discussions of concern or emails about care. We wish we could express this love.

That is the final lesson I learned from Mrs. Pollack. Must be more diligent to be direct. I must show the people I love  I love them, and not allow less important stuff get in the way of what matters most. Those we love. Here, now.

Her stories were uplifting: of her beautiful husband and her kids, of Nellie and their laughter. Her family meant everything in the world to her. She lived for the visits. 

One of the things Mrs. Pollack said to me, was to ask me to see if Vivien could stop being so selfless. Ironic, I told her! She loved Viv's visits and also loved hearing about our mom. 
Oh how she loved her son, Walt  with every bit of her soul. She asked if Walt is ok  wanting to know what he's like when he's not with her, and I was shy to admit I hardly know, because she saw her son more than any of us...  he was there like clockwork, always. I learned what a good "kid" is  her caring relationship with Walt. Dedicated to her care and committed to what she expressed were her wishes. And that's not always easy, but Walt was always that devoted to her, cared what she wanted above his own wishes, so that makes sense now when I think of it. His respect for-the-other, learned from his mother. Mrs. Pollack treasured that. It's special to be in the presence of this: his reliability, and so heart-warming to hear her appreciation of him on visits. 

Whenever I saw her, she reminded me to call her Anne. Somehow that came with such difficulty  she deserved much RESPECT. Mrs. Anne Pollack is one of the very special great ones out there. She's taught gratitude and selflessness. She taught how to carry on. I had introduced her to some of my friends in visits years gone by and they all said what a sweet,  appreciative woman. She was strength. Mrs. Pollack saw the good in life's situations, she saw the goodness within all people.

Her final lesson to me is important. Let love be shown, don't let less meaningful things get in the way. That, and  perseverance she's quite a teacher, what an Angel we now have. 

I wish all family and friends attending her funeral my best regards and condolences. She lives on for us in her lesson. Live on, carry on, goodness gives as her love lives on in you.

She was my mom. A year before my dad died, I began handling the finances and upkeep of their house and emergency room visits for my dad and food shopping...on and on. It was stressful since I was still working full time in NYC. Dad died in 2009. From then on it was just me and mom...just like from 1943 to 1946 while dad was in WWII. Things seem to recycle. Every week to the Stop n Shop...same drop off...same aisles...same routine...same food...she liked that. It made her feel better with the same familiarity every week...so good.

When people think of mother-in-laws many think of negative jokes making fun of them. I have to say I was very lucky to have had one of the best. I remember the years she would come to our house with Pop Pop (as he was known) always with a bag of goodies for us, with things like: paper towels, food etc.  Her focus was never on herself but on everyone else. We were lucky to have her welcome us to her house after we had a house fire and again after Hurricane Sandy, when it left us without power. She worried about the grandkids especially when one would get sick. My husband would usually call Annie once a week, if he forgot which he sometimes did, she would call me to make sure he was okay.  She also never went to the doctors and refused help (which sometimes frustrated us). She was always fine she would say.  I am posting a photo although I know it certainly is not one of her best, but it was a day I remember with fondness. My sister and I visited Annie and we just sat in her kitchen talking girl talk. As we were about to leave she noticed my sister's smart phone and was very curious on how they operate. My sister told her she could also take photos with it. No", she said. "Yes I will show you" Andrea said to her. So we all looked at the camera and the photo was shot and Annie exclaimed oh my God I look awful" we all just laughed at the funny photo of ourselves. She'll be missed by many people but I am pretty sure she would not want you to spend time grieving for her but to go on with your lives. For that's just the way she was.

OBITUARY

Annie T. Pollack

May 20, 1919 – December 24, 2015

Vernon C. Wagner Funeral Homes

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