Joan Frances Effenberger

Joan Effenberger was born in Bayonne New Jersey to Lucille Agacinski Effenberger and Frank Effenberger on January 27, 1931. It just happened to be the same year that the Bayonne Bridge opened. Her dad told her that shortly after it opened, she was put in her basinet and the family went across the bridge with her in one of those wonderful old-time cars. For them she was a brand-new baby going across a marvel of modern architecture. Joan was born to a Polish mother and a Hungarian father. Her Polish grandparents Vincent & Wladaslava Agacinski and came to Ellis Island when they migrated here. Joan took dancing lessons and piano lessons which were paid for by her aunt Jeanette who would turn out to be her best friend in later life. She played piano on her aunt Regena’s piano in the living room of the family home.

At night the family would play cards and Joan always remembered how she was put to bed and wished she could stay up late to join in the spirited card games and merriment as they drank and laughed outside her door. For fun her Aunt Jeanette and her mom Lucille would take the children to Rye New York Playland. It was an adventure to ride the boat to Rye Beach and enjoy the amusement park rides and games. There is one photo of them that recalls the journey set with a Hawaiian theme. All Joans siblings John, Janet, Sonny (Frank Jr.) were in the photo with her mom Lucille and her Aunt Jeanette.  I can still recall the photo of her as a little Dutch girl with bangs (which she hated) Its funny that so much later in life at 91 years old she was given a haircut with bangs at St. Johns Nursing Home and she still hated those bangs. Her three siblings came along fairly fast. They were Frank (Sonny), John and Janet. With her brothers and sister they would either walk or take the bus to their Polish grandparents house and there they would listen to their grandfather Vincent play on his accordion. The grandmother Wladaslava kept a perfect house and the children were expected to behave well and act like proper children. Well, at least Joan did that and the others not so much. Perhaps Joan took that to heart because in her lifetime she did have a penchant for keeping her clothing perfectly pressed. One time when she visited in her 70’s she arrived with her suitcase and took out her pressed and starched clothing and spread them out all over the bed before she hung them up in perfect order. The funny part was that when she was leaving and putting her things back in the suitcase the garments were still as crisp and clean as they were when she had arrived. Even at the stay in St Johns Nursing Center, she insisted on being dressed immaculately and had spot on crisp corners on her bed. She would sit and read her magazines right until her final day on this planet. She read Town and Country, Harper’s Bazaar and Vanity Fair and enjoyed the beautiful clothing and stories of the rich and famous. Her love of photos and magazines came out of her early days when she was photographed as a pinup girl sitting on a huge block of ice at the Bayonne Navel Base. At 18 she was on the cover of the Daily News and NY Times as a cover girl. After working at the naval base in Bayonne as a secretary she fell in love with a handsome officer Joe Brady and they were to be married, but the wedding was called off. Joan left the naval base and was lucky enough to get her dream job working for the vice president of MCA in NYC.

Joan started off by commuting by bus from Bayonne everyday and remembers the chilly winters when she walked with high heels and stocking feet. She said she was always cold but wanted to look and dress the part of an elegant New Yorker. She always warmed up with a cup of coffee from chock fall of nuts. The people she met at MCA were important actors and actresses. She used to call my mom, her Aunt Jeanette every day from the office and tell her who came in that day. She would see Marilyn Monroe, Frank Sinatra, Paul Newman , Joann Woodward and Peter Sellers. There were many more including Sammy Davis Jr., William Holden, etc. She would often see Marilyn and chat with her in the ladies dressing room and said she was very accessible, down to earth and always perfectly dressed and groomed. Joan had to deliver something to Frank Sinatra one day at the Copa and he asked her if she would stay for a while. She said no because my mother will be waiting up for me to come home and she will be mad if I don’t come home on time and I wont get dinner. So Frank Sinatra kissed her and Joan went home all the while wondering if she had made a mistake by not staying a little longer. Joan was also hired by Paul Newman and Joan Woodward to work in their home for a few months as a secretary so they could get their correspondence and memories together. In the MCA office when she first started working for MCA, Joan was told to get Paul a beer and she came in with a bottle of beer and offered it to him. The Vice President was horrified and said, “Give Mr. Newman a glass” and Paul said “No, Joan knows that I like to drink beer straight from the bottle.” When the latest biography of Paul Newman came out in 2022 Joan begged me to send her a copy and although it was difficult for her to read at age 91 with her prism glasses, she looked at the photos with her father’s magnifying glass and read as much as she could about Paul and Joann who had been a part of her life. She also remembered when the Newman’s lost there favorite pet and Paul wrote to her and thanked her after Joan had offered to give them a Yorkie.

Peter Sellers would come into the office and asked her out many times, But she never went out with him. One day she saw Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart walking arm and arm on the street near her office and she said that Lauren was exquisite in her brown fur coat as she clutched Bogart’s arm. I asked her where her camera was on these momentous sightings but she never took photos. She just took it all in with her photographic memory. Joan’s mind was incredible and she remembered most everything. She said that she would commit things to memory and go over them time and again. I spoke with her the night she passed away and she told me she was looking forward to going out with her best friend Linda Bischof on Thursday and was happy to go to one of her favorite restaurants either Brennan’s Pub or Bahama Breeze where she could get one last Martini. Joan was also very proud of her size 8 figure which she maintained throughout her life. It’s fitting that Joan passed away during Women’s history month. She was a unique woman and never married. She lived through her golden age of movies stars which gave her class and elan but ultimately she was like her idol Marilyn Monroe and was and was estranged many suitors. She had no luck with men. The only two men she really loved were her dad and her brother John. She saw them as the ultimate gentlemen and they were always gracious to her and provided her with financial help throughout her life.

When Joan moved from her family home her dad Frank moved her furnishings from the attic apt at 43 W. 42 St in Bayonne. He told her she could not take the bed because her brother Sonny would need it so he could move in there. In her upper east side apartment I remembered when my mother Jeanette and I went there for her special chicken kiev. Joan was going out with her boyfriend Bernie, a car salesman and Bernie decided to relocate to the Fort Lauderdale area for better opportunities. They had both visited friends Dan and Linda Bischof and Joan moved to Florida in 1971 ended her MCA career. She remained her close friendship with Don and Linda Bischof for her entire life. Joan and Bernie split up. Joan was on her own in Florida but she convinced her parents to move to Florida and they did. She cared for both her parents until they died. In her later years, she held jobs at several companies and then when she retired, she went to work for free in the rectory at St. Helens Church. She was always proud of being a catholic and had a great friendship with Father Nealon of St Vincent’s Church in Bayonne. They remained friends until Father Nealon passed away in Florida in his 90’s.

In Fort Lauderdale Joan started working for Woody Woodbury, a comedian who was popular in the big clubs in Florida and who occasionally stood in for Jack Paar on his show. She started raising Yorkies and with her best friend Pat Rosenthal (A former architect) they even had a Westminster Champion. Her Aunt Jeanette (my mom) and I went to see the show in NYC in a snowstorm where these were 3 ft. piles of snow in the streets. Joan was excited at the win and at our visit. Through the years, Joan valued her family most, and it is funny that at the end of her life it is the women that were there for her. Her friend Linda Bischof saved Joans life on more than one occasion when she was starting not to be able to live on her own. Linda cleaned out her house when it had to be sold and took Joan to doctors and dentists to nurture her health. She continued to do this even after Joan went to live in St Johns Nursing Home after she broke her hip. Even in the nursing home Linda got her through a difficult cancer surgery.

I phoned Joan every day for 10 years before she died and it did help to get to know her and how she was during the hard times in her life. She always said that women of a certain age did not reveal everything and her heartaches remained her own. She loved the support and advice she got from Kathy Kennedy Effenberger through the many years since their beloved John had passed away and admired her nieces Lisa and Julie for their hand of kindness which was always there for her.