Thomas Stewart Schlafly

Thomas Stewart Schlafly, of Houston, Texas, beloved husband, father, son, brother, and friend, passed away February 19, 2025 at the age of 42 surrounded by his loved ones following a cardiac event three days prior. He leaves behind a legacy of carefully chosen words, quiet wisdom, and a family who will forever be shaped by his choosing them.

Raised in St. Louis, Missouri with parents Dr. Bruce and Jeanne Schlafly, Tom was the eldest of seven children. His childhood was filled with passionate pursuits like competitive roller hockey games with his brother Mike, a meticulously maintained baseball card collection, and an ambitious dream made real of self-publishing a weekly hockey magazine.

In 2012, at a board game night in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, Tom found his perfect match in Ashley. He would later joke that he came for the food but kept coming back for “the smartest and most talkative woman he’d ever met.” Their love story began in earnest with Ashley falling quickly for her Tommy Stew and him for her. In these early days of their relationship, they bonded over Tom’s short stories, political debates, movies (only the good ones, according to Tom) and a shared love for long, philosophical conversations. They married and moved to Houston in 2013, where Tom began his career in finance.

At his job of nearly ten years, he found a second family. His relationship with his mentor Elias blossomed into a friendship that enriched both their lives, and his work friends became an integral parts of his extended family, drawn in by his authentic nature and incredible humor.

Still, Tom's greatest pride and joy was being father to Finnegan Thomas and Eliana Annette. With Finn, he shared his love of chess, teaching his son not just about strategy, but about patience, foresight, and the beauty of careful consideration, as well as a love of music and all his favorite bands. With Ellie, his "baby girl," he spent countless hours drawing, creating and playing board games and loving to watch her practice her ballet routines.

A man of few spoken words but many written ones, Tom left behind a treasury of thoughts on paper for his family to cherish. His writings reveal a man who observed the world with keen insight and deep empathy. He possessed a rare ability to forgive that made others feel worthy of grace and helped people see the best versions of themselves. This legacy of understanding and acceptance touched everyone who knew him, teaching us all how to grant grace more fully and judge less harshly.

He is survived by his wife Ashley, children Finnegan and Eliana, parents Dr. Bruce and Jeanne Schlafly, and his siblings Michael (Phuong Anh), Kathryn (Jon), Sarah, Christine (Cody), Ann Marie (Quinton), and Matthew (Jazmine). He also leaves behind his beloved in-laws Albert and Deborah Lord, brother-in-law Jordan Lord (Shoumik), and a loving extended family of nieces, nephews, aunts, and uncles who were all touched by his life. Tom was also surely greeted in heaven by his beloved grandmother-in-law, Annette Carter, with whom he shared a tremendous love, as well as his grandparents, Rose and Thomas Landholt, his namesake, and grandparents Fred and Phyllis Stewart Schlafly.

His legacy of empathy, forgiveness, and grace will continue to ripple outward through all the lives he touched in the quiet moments of a good game of chess, in the lyrics of a song that speaks to who you are, and in the echoes of his gentle spirit that will resonate forever.

For now, the family comes together to celebrate this special man, especially “his person,” Ashley. As Emily Brontë wrote in Wuthering Heights, "He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same... If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger." And indeed, for Ashley and all who loved and were loved by Tom, the universe feels stranger without his presence, his humor, and his ability to find beauty in the quiet around him. He painted our world in shades of grace, acceptance and love. And yet, even as we gather in the warmth of his memory, the world feels dimmer, its colors muted to shades of gray—longing for the light, the depth, the brilliance that only he could bring.