Owen Lawrence Hoglund

Keith Hoglund and I are heartbroken to announce that our beautiful baby boy was called home to Heaven. We spent the whole weekend home together as a family doing our favorite things, snuggling in jammies until noon, playing and taking long walks. On Monday, before I left for my first day back at work I snuck into his room and gently touched his head in a way only I did, it was his special mommy touch, so he would always know it was his mommy. He cooed and wiggled and I whispered I love you big boy, you are going to have a great day and I cannot wait to snuggle you tonight. Keith spent all morning with Owen. He cleaned him from head to toe as Owen smiled and wiggled on the changing table staring at his nursery wall. Keith gave him a raspberry on his tummy and dressed him in an outfit I picked out for his big day. After a bottle, some top gear and lots of snuggles Keith gave Owen his first ride in the Volvo 240 wagon, something he dreamed of since the day Owen was born. They arrived at the baby sitter for Owens first day and Owen woke up from his car ride smiling. Keith talked and laughed with the sitter knowing he was in good hands. Keith grabbed Owens chubby thighs, and gave him a kiss on the cheek, Owen smiled. Keith said, "I love you big boy and I will see you later.” Keith took a few steps and turned to look back and Owen was watching him with his beautiful blue eyes and a smile. 30 minutes later we both received a call Owen was found unresponsive and at the hospital. We both raced to Memorial Hospital in Jacksonville where we were told we were at the wrong one. We demanded a police escort to Memorial Urgent Care in Fruit Cove. On the drive over I called the hospital to let them know we were coming. They said they were in the lobby waiting for us. My heart sank. I asked what they could tell me, they asked if I was a nurse, I replied yes and she said I cannot tell you anything official. I asked, “Are they still working on him?" And she took a breath and replied "No” and I knew. I hung up. My husband squeezed my hand and asked what they said. I looked into his eyes and said we will see him when we get there, but we need to prepare ourselves. We told each other we loved each other and no matter what we would survive. Our baby died in his sleep. Every morning I asked him “Did you have good baby dreams?" Owen went to sleep while our caring sitter rubbed his chest how we told her we liked, soothing him until he drifted into sleep in front of her. He was having baby dreams and Nate and Noah came and took his hands and led him to paradise. Keith and I take all this pain so our baby had none. In our darkest hours we remember he never opened his eyes looking for us or cried out for mommy or daddy. He never knew pain or fear. We let the pain wash over us in waves, grateful mercy was given to our sweet boy. Testing found Owen had an "undetectable heart defect.” We take peace in knowing Owen was with a capable sitter who checked on him so so frequently and found our boy so soon and attempted to revive him until help arrived. Keith and I would not have been able to do what she did and if we had found him like that, we would never come back from it. Owen was never revived, and we take peace in that he felt no pain. Our sweet boy went to sleep having his chest rubbed how he liked into his baby dreams. We don't know why Owen was taken from us and we do not care. It does not change anything. The last three months have been Heaven on Earth. We walked on air, we were drunk with his love. I do not know how two people can endure so much pain, but we are and we do it together. We find light in the dark. We still smile and laugh and close our eyes and hold him. We sing him his lullaby and know he feels our love. We will survive, we are and will continue and we will find happiness again. We smile because our baby loved to smile back at us. We know we will all be "jamming in our jammies" in Heaven. We are having a celebration in honor of Owens beautiful life and all the happiness he gave. He was magic. A Celebration of Owen’s Life and Ceremony will be held Sunday, April 17th at 2pm at Hardage-Giddens Funeral Home of Mandarin. 11801 San Jose Blvd. Jacksonville, Florida 32223. They have taken care of all of our boys. All are welcome to join in celebration of our beautiful baby boy. Though our hearts are broken, your life was far too short We thank you sweetest angel For all the happiness you brought