Donald Marcel Joseph Poirier

April 17, 1952- Nov 15, 2017

Don was born in New Westminster, B.C and married Lise Bilodeau in 1972. During their 45 years of marriage, Don and Lise had many adventures and even spent a year exploring across North America. Don will always be remembered and loved for truly living life to the fullest and by the motto “I may be getting older but I refuse to grow up”.

Don could always be found hunting for a deal, the most powerful motor, or a stranger to befriend. Don was truly a devoted husband and father, entertaining and devoted grandfather and a wise-ass amazing friend.

Don is sadly missed by his wife Lise, sons Dan and Jason, daughter-in laws Christy and Jen and twin grandchildren Lacey and Jesse. Don is also survived by his three sisters, many nieces and nephews, extended family and numerous adoring friends.

A Memorial Service will be held Tuesday, November 21st at 2:00pm at Schoening Funeral Chapel, 513 Seymour Street, Kamloops, BC.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada.

Firstly we would like to thank everyone for coming today. It has been a very difficult time for us but we have been surrounded with a lot of love from our family and friends. We really appreciate the outpouring of support through flowers, cards, meals, trips to the grocery store, helping out with the kids, and the many people that have come to the house to give warm hugs. To everyone that is here, not able to be here and watching on the live stream or keeping us in their hearts today, we appreciate you and take comfort in all the love you have given us and the memories you shared of our dad.

As all of you here know, dad was a real character. He had a mischievous, fun loving personality that was infectious. One thing he usually did was nickname people. It may take him a couple of minutes upon meeting a person or years later, but most of us have been given a nickname at some point in time. For us kids it is Bubba, Chowder, P2 and P3. He had many others, Lefty, Princess, Donkey, Romeo Joe, Tang the Wang, marmalade and little buddy- just to name a few. Do you remember what yours was? Dad was also known for his wisdom and his matter of fact way of saying things. His philosophy was – I work to live not live to work, and – I may be getting older but I refuse to grow up. There was also something he would call – the Poirier suave??? But us wives aren’t too sure what that was? We were truly lucky to have had him as a father in law for 20 years of love and laughter.

We would like to share some memories of our dad, there is simply too many to account, but these are a few from a lifetime of amazing ones.

When the boys were quite young, dad had some time off and was looking after them. Jason was not in school yet so dad took him out to get firewood one day. Instead of packing a lunch beforehand he realized on the way out he would need to feed the little guy. Well, a chocolate bar would have to do, Jason could not choose just one, so he got two.

Dad and Terry Thomas devised a theory one night, there may have been a few glasses of wine involved, so I maintain there is some serious flaws in this theory of theirs. They decided that women round up in age and men round down. So if your turning say 52, you would actually be turning 55. Not long after this “theory” had been devised, my 26th birthday came along….and what did he do….he got me a 30th birthday card, a 30th birthday cake and 30th birthday balloons.

Dad was a really great communicator and once he got adept at texting, we would get many texts…Jen would often get urgent sounding texts such as…call me back asap, send me a message when you can talk, let me know when your free I need to talk to you…she would get very worried…what’s happened? Something must be wrong. She would call him as soon as she could…and he had some great news…he found a really good new BBQ sauce they had to try.

Dad was also known best for hunting for a great deal. He would often call Dan and leave voicemails…”hey Bubba, can one of your farmer buddies get me some real weed killer. The weeds are driving me nuts and I want the non regulation chemical stuff they don’t sell in the store.” Whether it was a tv, a bbq, a vehicle, there was always a deal to hunt for and find.

Funny memories aside, one thing that could always be counted on was that he would let us be ourselves when we needed to or be there for us when we needed him. Whether it was a quiet ride in the corvette with jay, multiple trips a day to the hospital to visit my babies when they were born, walking every morning in Hawaii with Jen, doing multiple projects around the house with Dan, or being the best papa by spoiling his grandchildren with a reverse lunch of ice cream.

As a father and a husband, dad was second to none. His priority in life was his family. The love he shared with Lise was an inspiration to many. The pride he had in his sons was evident by the twinkle in his eye when he spoke of them. The pure and extreme love he had for his grandchildren was the part of him I loved the most. He loved his wife like no one else, together they built a life to be proud of. He showed his boys how to be men, real, loving, hardworking, responsible…men. He knew how to live life to the fullest and made each day count. He was a role model for us all.

When I was going through pictures the other night I came across a letter Dan wrote to him for Father’s day back in 2004 when he was away working at the fishing lodge in the Queen Charlotte islands. It sums up everything and I will close our time up here with it.

"Happy Father’s Day Dad"

Well I hope you get this letter and package on time. If it is too late well that’s the way it goes. Being up here gives you a lot of time to think. You think about the past, like how you were always there for me even if I did not agree or want you there, you were always there. I think about all the great things that you have done for me, there are so many to list but here are a few. You built us a boat, and got up early every morning to take us water skiing and did it because you wanted to not because you had to. You brought us on vacations all over the place, the Rockies, Vancouver island, the polar nationals, Seattle, Disneyland twice and you were always there with a smile even if you had my stinky feet in your face or me and jay arguing in the backseat for god knows how many hours. Hell, you deserved a bloody medal. How could I ever forget all of the ski trips, they were a blast, every single one of them. It is so funny that there is so many people in this world that do not have what we have as a son and father. It is just awesome. I will never forget going up Columbia street and you making a pact with me and Jason, a pact that you have never come close to breaking.

SO this is the first father’s day I have been away since I was born, so have a rum and maybe a black Russian and think of the great times in the past and the ones to come. It gives me great pleasure to call you my dad and my best friend.

I will always be there no matter what.

I promise.

So have a great father’s day, love Dan.

"November 15 Meditation"

Guests of my life,

You came in the early Dawn, and you in the night.

Your name was ordered by the Spring flowers and

yours by the showers of rain.

You brought the harp into my house and you

brought the lamp.

After you had taken your leave I found God’s foot-

prints on my floor.

“It is so easy to think we have some ultimate claim on those we love, rather than that we have been privileged to share one another’s lives for a time— they with us, and we with them.

We know that we pass on our genes to our descendants, as our parents have passed theirs onto us. We orally pass on our memories and leave behind times we’ve shared with those we love.

But always there is some essence which is at its heart a mystery. And where it came from and where it goes, we don’t know. But perhaps there is a trace of the divine in each of us, which comes from its home in God, and returns to that home.”

I don’t remember a time when I didn’t know Don. He married Lise, who is my aunt and the youngest of my mother’s eight siblings in 1972. I was seven. I remember Don being at our home on Morley Street in Burnaby, off Canada Way. We moved from there when I was six, so I had to have been age five or six when I first gained an uncle in Don.

Lise is the same age as my brother, so in a lot of ways, she was more like a sister to me, especially when I got older. We could never have known back then that Lise and I would be together on what would be the very worst days of each our lives. We lost our son, Jeff in March. Don and Lise were there with us. When Lise called on Wednesday evening, Mike and I were able to there with her; I’m so glad. Earlier that day, Don stopped by our place around noon. I could never have guessed while he sat in our kitchen eating cookies and drinking a hot chocolate that in a few hours I would get a call from Lise telling me he had died. Shortly after Mike and I arrived at the hotel in Kelowna, I went into the room where Don was. I wanted to see him; I wasn’t even sure why. I do know however that death is intimate and grief can feel so isolating. Intuitively, I felt that I needed to share some measure of what Lise had experienced, so she wouldn’t have to carry it on her own. I know nothing about losing a spouse. Devastating loss, however, is something with which I am all too familiar. I know that for Lise, Dan, Jason, Christie and Jen, Jesse and Lacey, and for all of us, but, much more for them, this is a devastating loss. It is a shock. It is a void. It is unfair. But, it is true. It has happened.

My husband Mike and Don were like brothers. Lefty and Lefty, we called them, in reference to their “south paws.” They were always up for some mischief. In fact just this past summer, a few days after an evening of playing cards with Lise and Don at our home, Mike confessed that Don had been cheating. I said you’re kidding me! He told me, through his laughter, that Don had done this right in front of us, in plain sight. Lise and I had been talking and visiting, and we hadn’t noticed. Don and Mike thought it was hilarious and they had been laughing about it as it was happening. Still, though, Lise and I were oblivious. They had gotten away with it. Mike, however, felt guilty and had to confess a few days later. I texted Don right away and told him I was appalled; he told me thought it was funny and felt no shame. Get over it, he joked. I suggested to Don that he would have to answer to God. So that should answer any questions any of you may have as to what he is doing right about now. And while it might seem inappropriate, I would like to point out that the last time they came over, just two weeks ago, Lise and I whooped their behinds and won three games in a row. Charity, they claimed.

Anybody who knew Don knew he loved to laugh. He liked to tease, and he often gave people nicknames ~ I’ve had a few – Jockette, Roots, Rutabaga. One that I always thought was funny was the lady at the Shuswap whose name was Lois, she was very tall, so Don refused to call her Lois, and he called her High-ass instead. I’m sure there are lots of you here that Don gave a pet name to as well. A couple of nights ago, I saw something on an online feed, and I immediately thought of Don. It read, If you eat well, get good sleep, and drink plenty of water, you’ll die anyway - - So have a rum and have a party.

He would love it that we are laughing. If there’s one thing I know for sure about Don, it is that he didn’t like the grim and sad things in life. Who does, really? He would’ve hated this because of what it is doing to Lise, and to the kids. Don didn’t like sadness. He didn’t like sickness. However, this year has taught me that it is unavoidable, and it has to be faced and lived with. But, the good news is, you don’t have to do it alone. This kind of loss will never go away. We must live through it and with it, even though we would give just about anything not to have to.

In her book, The Year of Magical Thinking, iconic American writer, Joan Didion, wrote of the shock and grief she felt when her husband, John Dunne, died while she was making them dinner. “He was talking, and then he wasn’t” Didion writes. That is what happened to Don and Lise. It is so difficult to make sense of things after something like this happens; hence the title of Didion’s book ~ The Year of Magical Thinking. She explains that writing the story of her husband’s sudden and shocking death, re-telling it, again and again, was essential to helping her sort out the monumental change that took place in a single moment. Lise will want to talk about Don, how he lived and how he died, but, today, lets not have her re-tell the story of November 15th, 2017. However, in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead it will be so important for us to understand that for Lise to grieve well she will need the freedom to remember and talk about it all – Don’s life and his death. It is how she will find her way to coming to terms with what has happened. Loss and grief can be crazy-making, and our minds can run in circles trying to figure out the whys. There are no answers, but we must be allowed to ask our questions.

“On September 11, 2001, the report of the 9/11 commission opened on this insistently premonitory, and yet still dumbstruck narrative note: Tuesday, September 11, 2001, dawned temperate and nearly cloudless in the eastern United States.” It was a normal day. “And then — gone.” On the morning of December 7, 1941, people who had been living in Honolulu, without exception, began their accounts of Pearl Harbor by describing what an “ordinary Sunday morning” it had been (Didion).

So, we have found the meaning, a lesson, Don’s departing gift for us. “Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends”(Didion). You sit down to dinner. You say you’re good nights. And then—gone.

Don is so lucky that he went with nothing to regret. Don was well loved. He was a great dad, hands-on grandpa, and a devoted and loving husband to Lise. He was a good friend and neighbour, and for me, and for my sons, he was a great uncle. So, inspired by Don’s love for life, fun, family and friends, and a little rum here and there — LIVE FULLY ~ Love your kids. Call your friends. Spend the money. Take the trip, mindful of the reality that, “Life does change in the instant. The ordinary instant.”

So we will remember the laughter, the love, the fun and the friendship. Well done, Don, well done.

Hi, my name is Alan, aka Alligator Al (don’t ask), Little Buddy, and Mr.C., all names courtesy of Don. There is one other name he probably gave me when we were holidaying together a couple of years ago, when we survived a trip down 5th Avenue New York pulling the 5th wheel. Never seen before and will never be repeated, all due to my exceptional navigational skills. Anyway, I am sure Don also referred to me as the Idiot Next Door after that!

Don was many things; at the top of my list, he was both ingenious and resourceful. The following story illustrates these traits. At the very beginning of our friendship, over 34 years ago, we decided to build cedar fences around our yards. After procuring and cutting about 600 fence boards, a guy drove by in his car and asked if we were in business and could he buy them. Don didn’t bat an eye...of course!! The girls wondered why it took so long to finish the fence.

Anyway, that was the beginning of our partnership...AlDon Wood products. We sold fencing, windows, door and roofing. We went out to Chase Lumber and arranged for the delivery of dimensional lumber. We were busy guys. One day Don said, “I talked to a couple of contractors and they were looking for cedar siding”. “Great!”I said. “Good”, Don said, “because I’ve got a BTrain of cedar siding (pre-stained of course) on its way from Vancouver”. I could envision the discussion he had with these builders—“No problem”, he probably said. “We can get you the siding!”

We even bought a flat deck Dodge truck from a guy in Vancouver. Don said his usual, “SUCH a deal, Al!” Anyway, I was getting a little worried at this point because I was thinking we might be going into the used car business as well.

How can I describe the stories over 34 years of friendship into one page? It’s impossible to tell you about all the great times we had. There are so many stories to tell, some which Don and I swore to secrecy. I am a lucky man. I am lucky to have had such a dear friend. I am lucky he was a friend you could count on. I am lucky because I get to remember and share lots of laughs and special times together. I am lucky because such a friendship comes only once in a lifetime. I encourage you to share your stories and memories of Don. They will keep him alive in our hearts forever.

"He Is Gone"

You can shed tears that he is gone,

Or you can smile because he lived,

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,

Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him

Or you can be full of the love that you shared,

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone

Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,

You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your back,

Or you can do what he would want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

* * * * * * * * * *

Mr. Donald Marcel Poirier

April 17, 1952- Nov 15, 2017

Don was born in New Westminster, B.C and married Lise Bilodeau in 1972. During their 45 years of marriage, Don and Lise had many adventures and even spent a year exploring across North America. Don will always be remembered and loved for truly living life to the fullest and by the motto “I may be getting older but I refuse to grow up”.

Don could always be found hunting for a deal, the most powerful motor, or a stranger to befriend. Don was truly a devoted husband and father, entertaining and devoted grandfather and a wise-ass amazing friend.

Don is sadly missed by his wife Lise, sons Dan and Jason, daughter-in laws Christy and Jen and twin grandchildren Lacey and Jesse. Don is also survived by his three sisters, many nieces and nephews, extended family and numerous adoring friends.

A Memorial Service will be held Tuesday, November 21st at 2:00pm at Schoening Funeral Chapel, 513 Seymour Street, Kamloops, BC.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada.