Mar was my grandmother.

Many of my best memories - early memories, later memories, any time memories - have Mar in them. Marching through the airport to fly to Japan; standing next to her at the front door on Del Monte Street and pushing that alarm button (because it was a button, and buttons need to be pushed!); getting stung by bees on the back patio; touching things at the dinner table and saying "Hot! Hot!"; any of dozens of times Mar cooked something wonderful; hearing Mar laugh at Pajaro Dunes; watching Mar dance with Poppa (and on her own in a Pajaro Dunes talent show while Poppa played "Tea For Two" on a Casio keyboard); Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; the time when I had just turned 12 and had managed to break a statue that Mom and Dad had gotten me for my birthday, and Mar taking it and, with green paint and glue, making it look new again; Mar helping me choose a pair of moccasins in a touristy shop in Santa Fe; Mar and Poppa visiting me at college and gamely going to whatever restaurant I chose (Russian food! Ethiopian food!); and on and on and on. There is a lot of laughter in those memories. And other things, too, of course. 

And here's one of the other things: Mar and Poppa are, in many ways, my own personal gold standard - my touchstone for whether something is good or worthwhile, and for how to proceed when a question is hard, and for how to behave. And I know it's true that I learned a lot of that from my parents - but of course Mom taught me and Ryan and Adam all the things she learned from being brought up in Mar and Poppa's house. Mar and Poppa have had a profound, lifelong effect on me, and I try hard every day to teach my own children all the lessons that they taught Mom, and that they taught me. Some days I succeed, and other days I think that I can do better, try harder... and because of Mom and Dad and Mar and Poppa I know what to try for.

Mar was the best grandmother anyone could have had, and how wonderful for me that she was my grandmother. I told her that the last time I saw her, at Mom's house, too many years ago. I think she remembered me when I told her; I think she understood. Maybe she didn't, but she laughed and gave me a big hug, and then someone took a picture of us, her with an arm around my waist, me with mine around her shoulders. I keep that picture in a box of important things. It's not an accident that there are more than a few pictures of Mar and Poppa in there, too.

In 1991, right after I started college, Mar picked out an anorak that she and Poppa gave me for Christmas. It is a burgundy anorak, and I remember that Mar was very concerned that I wouldn't like the color. Now, 23 years later, I still wear it every winter. It reminds me of that time in my life, when I was learning to be an adult. It still keeps me warm, of course. And it reminds me of Mar every time I put it on.

Mar was my grandmother, and I miss her.

Mar, we will always love and miss you. You meant so much to our family, and we will never forget your spirit and beauty.

Love,
Handsome Adam

Mar was my grandmother.  Growing up, my family spent every New Years at Mar and Poppa's house in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  I have vivid memories of pulling up to their house, Mar with Chico in hand and Poppa with Sadie, their beloved long haired Chihuahuas.  To be honest there aren't many memories that I have of Mar before she started getting sick, but the one thing that I will never forget is her smile.  Sometimes there would be a little crook in her smile, something that I always found endearing about her.  Mar, I love you and miss you every single day.  I am sad to see you go, but happy you are now at peace.

Love, Your Callie girl

I would like to remember my grandmother, our Mar, not just for her beautiful smile and her grace, but also for the character she embodied.  Countless times in my life, when I have been up against a tough situation, my mother has counseled me with a lesson she learned from her mother.  One that has always stuck with me: "It takes more energy to hate someone than it does to have no opinion of them at all."  I know Mar was the kind of person who stood up for people.  I know she was the kind of person who had love to give.  I know she was the kind of person to hold high expectations for someone she loved because she believed in them.  I know she was the kind of person to be fair in her judgement, free with her laughter and protective of those she held close.  

My grandfather, Jim Pirtle, is one of the most amazing men I have ever known.  I know that the two of them made a formidable pair and brought each other great joy.  I have been so blessed to have a close relationship with him.  And he has blessed my siblings, my cousins, and I with many stories of Mar, and of their life together.  Mar lives on through him as she lives through each of us.  She would be so proud of us for doing what is right, taking a stand for others, lending a hand, and loving one another.  

We love you Mar.

Frances Sneddon Blanton Pirtle was my mother. At the young age of 19, I was her first born daughter, and named after her, what an honor. Now we would think parents aged 19 and 20 would be extremely young to start raising a family. But despite her difficult childhood, without a father, Frances, my mother, knew exactly what to do. 

Mom taught her daughters to always think of others, be less self-centered, and to think about how our words may hurt another. She taught her three daughters resourcefulness, ingenuity, initiative, and kindness. And although I tried to learn as much as I could from my mother, I will never be the wonderful amazing cook that she was.

Mom modeled how to be a good wife and mother. She is always my role model, and I always strive to be just like her, sometimes coming up short because she set the bar so high.

Goodness, how I love and miss Mom. We shall not see her like again.

I will miss Mar so much - she was a very special person. I have always tried to conduct myself and live my life the way she and my Dad taught me. She was such a good role model for me and I'm grateful to have had her for my Mom. I've always wanted to enjoy the same kind of relationship with my children that I shared with my Mom because it was so unique. 
I love you, Mom!

Frances or 'MarMar' (as she was affectionately known by the grandchildren, and their children), was a remarkable woman. She was beautiful, strong willed, and had a genuine smile that shared her charm and joy with the world. (You can see that same smile on her daughters faces.)

She was a dancer, a wife, a friend, and a mother.

Some of my strongest memories of Mar were at Pajaro Dunes, where the whole family would gather every summer. I think it's pretty rare that large families really get to know each other so well, and it was very special that Mar and Poppa made sure it was something we all had in our lives. 

I'm thankful for her words. I'm thankful for the time I was lucky to spend with her. We played card games, walked the beach, hunted for treasure, ate great food that she prepared, and always laughed our butts off. These things mean so much to me.

Our family misses her. I miss her.

I'm thankful she has peace now.

I'm not a religious person. I don't know what happens when we die. We tend to think in terms of something we lost. And we did lose something.
But, quite literally, our energy is released back out into the everything. Joining with, and nourishing everything.

And perhaps, she is a beam of light, dancing, and her smile shines on, for the everything.

And the whole benefits from her return.

I miss you Mar. All my love.

Please shine on my son.

Susan and Doug, 
  Our thoughts  are with you and your family.  While her passing in many ways may be a blessing, the finality of losing your mother is always hard. We will remember you and her in our prayers.

Dan and Tammy, Josh, Jenna, and Maddie Bruegger

OBITUARY

Frances Sneddon Pirtle

April 25, 1932 – August 26, 2014

Mt. Moriah, Newcomer and Freeman Funeral Home & Mount Moriah Cemetery South

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