Born on October 12, 1929, the daughter of Harry Urban and Magdalene Stewart Nitzsche, Gwen grew up in Webster Groves, Missouri, a suburb of St. Louis, the second oldest of six children. Her childhood was filled with sibling adventures and outings with school and neighborhood friends. Memories of her dad’s vast vegetable garden, her mother’s hand made dresses (never store bought), and picnics in the family cemetery were often mentioned as stories from a childhood well-lived.
She attended Webster Groves High School and the University of Missouri, taking time off between semesters to earn money to pay for school. At Missouri, she joined the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority, danced up a storm, and made a bundle of new friends. If nothing but practical, after two years Gwen decided she’d experienced enough of college and set out looking for a job. She landed one – a stewardess for American Airlines. She loved flying and rooming with a house-full of stewardesses, and cherished the opportunity to take her parents on their first airplane trip.
While she was a stewardess, Gwen met William Harrison Shackelford III (Bill). They dated from afar: he was at sea in the Navy, she was in the air zigzagging from city to city. They were married in 1955 and had four children: Lindley, Lisabeth (Libby), Lucy and William Harrison IV (Bill). They later divorced but remained friends.
Gwen was a fiercely devoted mom, forever patient, tender and wise. She had a knack for her children's grammar homework, served as “picture lady,” introducing art to students at Prairie School, and reminded a carpool of kids to “Smile, it’s good for you.” She attended all her childrens’ swim meets, proudly displaying a rainbow of ribbons pinned across her chest.
While raising four children, she was a member of the Junior League, a docent for the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, and a volunteer in the gift shop at Children’s Mercy Hospital. She delighted in her membership at the Kansas City Country Club as well as The Kiwi Club, an organization for American Airlines stewardesses (kiwis are birds that don’t fly). She worked at some of Kansas City’s retail institutions: in the stationary department at Bennett Schneider, at Fine Lines and The Little House.
But undoubtedly her greatest accomplishment was raising a special needs daughter to be independent, resourceful, and happy. Always gentle and patient, Gwen watched over Lindley’s progress in school and discovered programs to stimulate her learning, organizing an army of volunteers to help in the cause. She worked hard to advance the establishment of group homes in Gardner, Kansas and elsewhere in the area. To her last day, Gwen was Lindley’s faithful advocate and adoring supporter.
Known lovingly as Gwenie and Gwen-dear by family and friends, she was independent and strong, quiet and uncomplicated, a good listener, a giver, a friend. She enjoyed music, loved to dance, had a deep laugh, a quick wit and a bright smile. She will be missed, and yet her presence will always be felt.
Gwen is survived by her sister Denise Smith (Greg); her daughters Lindley Shackelford, Lisabeth Metzler (Timothy), Lucy Shackelford (Eric Sildon) and son William Harrison Shackelford IV (Stephanie Warden); and her grandsons William Harrison V (Quint), Benjamin Braxton (Ben) and John Patrick (Jake). Gwen’s family would like to thank nurses at Monarch Hospice, aides from Redeemed and those at Mission Chateau for their gentle and knowing care.
A funeral service will be held on Friday, February 17 at 1:00 pm at Mt. Moriah, Newcomer & Freeman Funeral Home, 10507 Holmes Road, Kansas City, Missouri. A visitation from 12:00 pm to 1:00 pm will take place before the service.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made in Gwen's honor to: Special Olympics Kansas, 5280 Foxridge Drive, Mission, KS 66202; SOKS.org.
