Kay Ellen Billingsley

Kay Ellen Billingsley, 76, of Kansas City, Mo., passed away on Nov. 20, 2016, from complications of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Kay did not believe in half-measures in life: She worked hard for years as president and co-owner of a Kansas City insurance company, and she had many passions outside the office. She loved history, animals, card games, fashion, politics and, of course, her family. The phone was always ringing at Kay’s house as friends and loved ones called to talk -- or just to hear the latest joke she learned.

Born on March 2, 1940, the youngest of Clifford and Monna Kuykendall’s two daughters, Kay lived in St. Louis, Mo., and San Antonio, Texas, before settling in Omaha, Neb., with her parents and sister. Her maternal grandfather, John Ross Miller, gave Kay a nickname when she was a young tomboy. Daddy John, as Kay called her grandfather, used to tease her constantly. “So finally one day, I had enough” Kay wrote in a 1984 essay, “I hit him with a ball bat. From that day forward, he called me ‘Gunpowder.’”

Kay loved movies and dancing. She danced in a 1956 Clarkson Hospital Fashion Show, which was choreographed by Elfi Hosman, a classically trained German ballerina who immigrated to the United States after World War II. Kay dropped out of high school to marry Larry D. Carman in 1957 and start a family. She was a past president of the Wives’ Club (now called the Spouses Club) for the Omaha District of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, where Larry worked. She also modeled for stores in Omaha.

Kay eventually earned a GED and, in her spare time, started studying her husband’s college-level accounting text book at home. She landed a job in the cash office at the Montgomery Ward department store in Omaha. When her first marriage ended in divorce, Kay moved to Kansas City in the mid-1970s. She eventually earned an associate degree in accounting from Longview Community College and, along with her second husband, John Billingsley, owned and operated an insurance company in Raytown, Mo., for 27 years. She also worked for several years as the secretary-treasurer for Benton Auto Parts.

Between responsibilities at work and home, Kay served as a Red Cross volunteer and was, for a period, a member of the Order of the Eastern Star, a fraternal organization for men and women. She also contributed to numerous causes, including campaigns to help military veterans and Lakota Sioux children. In her later years, she spent hours doting over her grandchildren, teaching them the importance of not only a good game of gin runny but also a good laugh.

Kay’s generous spirit was apparent to all who knew her: She could see the humanity in everyone, no matter what their circumstances. Her worldview was formed in childhood when her paternal grandmother, Bertha Aquilla Rhymer, whom Kay called Gram, would take her to a “park” where swans glided effortlessly on ponds.

“No one else seemed to enjoy our ‘park’ as Gram and I did,” Kay wrote in an essay. “My Gram died when I was seven years old. She is buried in that ‘park,’ right by one of those ponds. No wonder no one else like our ‘park.’ It was a cemetery! That was my Gram; she didn’t see it was a cemetery, just as a beautiful place to go.”

John Billingsley died in 2006, but Kay is survived by her three children and their spouses, Deborah and Mark Kellogg, Tim Carman and Carrie Allan, and Judith and Chris Lawson; two stepchildren and their spouses, Ron and Debra Billingsley, and Lisa and Dennis Martinec; eight grandchildren, Kaitlyn DeVeydt, Barbara Billingsley, Bryant Kellogg, Danielle Martinec, Emma DeVeydt, Gabby DeVeydt, Emily Martinec, and L.T. Lawson; and Kay’s sister Judith Rivers, and her husband, Dr. Leslie Rivers In lieu of flowers, the family suggests a donation to the Humane Society of the United States (Kay had a special bond with all her animals) and the American Lung Association in Missouri.