I once asked her if she dreamed in Spanish or English.

She laughed, said both, and then asked why I wanted to know. 
“Because if I was bilingual like you, I wouldn’t have to be working so hard to write this Spanish paper. ¡No hablo español, Abuela!”

She corrected me. “Abuelita. Not abuela.”

It’s the subtle slang Spanish books don’t teach you — grandmother, grandma. It’s the reason I couldn’t have her write my Spanish essays. My teacher would have known a native Spanish speaker wrote it.

I knew I was different than my peers growing up. I have a Mexican mom and a Caucasian dad. It was awesome. It was like eating in a Mexican restaurant every night but better because the menu was Grandma’s straight from the motherland of Mexico. We knew where all the good Mexican grocery stores were downtown. We celebrated with piñatas over the 4th of July (blindfolded with bats, not those weak string-pulling ones) and tamales on New Years. We didn’t celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Pretty sure my grandma thought Cinco was something I made up in college.

As I got older, being half Mexican became complicated. There are a lot of boxes to check on legal forms. “Are you of Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin?” Yes, sorta. “Do you consider your race white, non Hispanic?” Um, yes and no? 

People want to put me in a box too. “Half Mexican? Why don’t you speak Spanish?” 

It's simple. My mom only knows English. The truth behind that is my grandparents knew if they spoke only English in the home, the kids would have a chance at a better life. It was the 1950s. Through my grandma’s stories growing up in Kansas City, I learned segregation wasn’t so black and white. It was many shades of color and white. Mexican schools. Mexican water fountains. Mexican restrooms. 

My grandma passed away yesterday. She was my last surviving grandparent. My grandma wanted her family to live an easier life than she did. And we did, to be honest.

We’re living her dreams in Spanish and in English.

Funeral Service

Committal Service

Mike Chavez

Paul Chavez

Ruben (Mary) Chavez

Ed (Jill) Chavez

Ann (Dave) Baker

Rebecca (Robert) Perkins

Abbie (Tom) Crowder

Lucy Hernandez

Angelina Cole

Lupe Morse

Elena Lopez

Mary and Martha (Deceased)

Martin Jr. (Deceased)

Henry Flanery, Amelia Grier and Bennett Amsden (Deceased)

28 Grandchildren
45 Great-grandchildren
5 Great-great grandchildren

McGilley Antioch Chapel

Mark Chavez

Tony Chavez

Christopher Chavez

Brandon Chavez

Alex Baker

Scott Grier

Jonathan Crowder 

Ruth Chavez

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OBITUARY

Ruth Chavez

January 13, 1930 – December 9, 2020

McGilley Antioch Chapel

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