Phyllis M. Winkler

If you’ve ever been to north central Nebraska where Phyllis Mae Whetham was born, you would get the sense of a calm, quiet and unassuming place. She was the third of five kids and grew up with a strong work ethic that comes from growing up in rural America and being the middle child. At 17, she left home with a few dollars in her pocket and went to Omaha so her family could have one less mouth to feed. She had an independent streak that had to have been unusual in those days, but she wasn’t afraid. She got a job at Mutual of Omaha and after a few years was making regular trips back home with the company of several male friends who enjoyed her responsible driving in her very cool black 1950 Chevy.

The dance halls in Omaha were a popular place for young people in the early fifties. That’s where she spent time with Harold Winkler, a GI who had come home from Korea and was on the lookout for a smart, capable, feisty woman. What a surprise to find out that Phyllis grew up within 50 miles of him and how convenient for her to be giving rides back home. Harold signed up for those rides and we understand that more than once, they stopped the car on the side of the road to dance to a good song on the radio. Harold quickly knew that she was the one for him. After all, she could change a tire like the best of them.

Their adventure began September 3, 1955 and Phyllis jumped into the passenger seat of a lifetime journey, one which threw her into the driver's seat more than once in her life.

After welcoming two daughters, Deborah and Pamela, during their first two years in Rapid City, SD, they moved to their forever home in Denver and promptly added three more girls, Carla, Patricia and Barbara, to the mix. While Harold feverishly worked and supported the family, Phyllis quickly made friends with her neighbors and established a network of people who would watch out for each others’ kids and be available for support as needed. She was always there encouraging her daughters and sometimes followed in the shadows as each of them walked to the local elementary school. She instilled independence and made sure each of her five girls had a voice. Those years were the beginning of a lifetime of connection with those around her, while asserting quiet leadership in the circles she maintained. Phyllis was an incredible example to her family as they watched her take charge when needed.

She had to take the driver’s seat when young Harold had a heart attack in 1969. Trying to keep any stress from Harold, she herded the kids into a strict routine and took control of everything while her husband was convalescing. Her strong spirit kept her going through those tough times, and once Harold’s new business Thermo Service Company was off the ground, she was the back office keeping the books and making sure Harold was where he needed to be.

There wasn’t much that Phyllis couldn’t do. She volunteered at the Church, was in the school PTA, joined many clubs, and could cook a mean catfish at Lake McConaughy, always feeding a revolving door of guests of her daughters. Phyllis and Harold were known for their expert dance abilities everywhere they went. They taught their girls the waltz, the polka, and the jitterbug, and as the designated driver for their many nights out, Phyllis brought everyone home safe and sound. She recalled only one night that the street lights and traffic lines became blurry on the way home. It was probably the only time she was ever drunk. Surely there are those out there who would beg to differ, but she nursed only one bourbon and water tall whenever she went out, and left the party drinking to Harold.

As the girls grew up and moved out, Phyllis maintained and added to relationships with her friends, having coffee, bowling, and working several part time jobs along the way. That routine changed once Harold retired and got the travel bug. They sold their home, bought an RV, of course with a washer and dryer, and away they went for years, traveling all over the country dropping in on family and friends, continuing to touch more people along the way.

Phyllis never wanted to be in the spotlight. She was content to let Harold have it. Her focus was on keeping her mind sharp and she succeeded until the day she died! She was a voracious reader of “smut books” (Harlequin Romance Novels), and for years she made clothes for her kids, teaching each one of her girls to sew along the way. Her grandkids were blessed with Grandma teaching them how to play cards and games. They knew she had a tin with pennies in it which they all got to use for anteing up when they needed to. Who knew that Grandma Phyllis would turn them on to card sharking so early?

Phyllis was known for her welcoming spirit and open door. She was always flexible and easy going and was willing to entertain or provide an available bed for anyone who wanted to stay. There were many times that the kids were relegated to a sleeping bag on the floor so someone could have a bed. But that was ok. It was the right thing to do.

As they grew old together, Phyllis willingly watched out for Harold, always making sure he had what he needed and picked up the pieces as necessary. When he died in 2020, she went back to her independence, got back in the driver’s seat, and made a name for herself as the Puzzle Lady at her independent living home.

We all expected her to live forever, but that wasn’t to be. When the time came, she went. No fanfare, no drama. She faded away on her own terms and quietly remains in our hearts forever.

If you hear a bell ring or feel the presence of an angel, it could be Phyllis.

Phyllis is survived by her daughters Debbie Pepping, Pam Mondragon, Carla (Dan) Stauter, Patty (Chris) Tremaroli and Barb (Chris Tomlin) Winkler as well as 14 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren. Funeral services will be held at St. Jude Catholic Church in Lakewood, CO on July 3, 2026 at 11:00am followed by burial a reception in the Parish Hall.