Pamela D. Harris

Pamela Harris, known as Pam to friends and family, was brought into this world to Betty Lou Cruz on August 9th, 1958. Born in West Covina, California, Pam was raised in the heart of the adjacent city of Monrovia. Betty was a single mom and on January 27th, 1960, Pam was graced with her first sibling, brother Johnny Stout. In the year, 1966, Betty married Edward Cruz, providing a father and influential figure for her small children. Edward officially adopted both Johnny and Pam in 1967 and continued a lifetime of fatherhood. In 1970, Betty and Eddie adopted Pam’s second brother, Daniel Cruz , in Pomona, California.

In junior high, Pam was known for her charisma and passion to dance and perform. A memorable time was a school talent show where she stole the show with her performance and later in high school, became captain on the Monrovia Pepcats Drill Team. Pam excelled in English literature, but had a true passion for being a free spirit. Upon meeting one of her best childhood friends in grade school, Rose Piwarski, their friendship would grow into a lifelong alliance of being friends, wives, and mothers. They spent high school together, dancing, studying, and taking monthly trips to Tijuana to visit Rose’s family.

After graduating high school a year early in 1975, Pam was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, a long-term autoimmune disease that leads to inflammation and deformation of the joints and surrounding tissues. This was the beginning of health problems for Pamela and this disease would affect her for the rest of her life. Regardless of the mental setback, Pam continued life and attended Citrus Valley Community College where her favorite subject was psychology. Soon after, she was introduced to a young man by the name of Larry Quincy Harris, by his brother-in-law Wayne Brown. Watching the Dallas Cowboys on the television at the time, Quincy glanced up to see the young, beautiful and fragile woman. At the time he was attending University of California, Los Angeles pursuing a degree in history. Pam saw potential in this young man and they began a relationship. Jazz concerts on the beach, heavy work loads, a cat named Momma, and a special lime tree in the backyard, the couple began living together in Los Angeles. On just their second date, he uttered the words, “I’m going to marry you one day” and two years later in 1980, based on a logical conversation, the couple traveled to Lake Tahoe, Nevada and married on August 3rd.

The ceremony had two attendees, Samantha Harris and her boyfriend at the time, Lionel Allen. It was a quaint wedding in a chapel overlooking the lake. The couples spent the rest of the evening at a Harrah’s performance of Sister Sledge and Lou Rawls.

A year later, Pam and Quincy bought and had their first home built in Dallas, Texas. Along with their two Labrador retrievers, Sunrise and Sunset, they made the move from Los Angles in 1981 and spent the next nine years building a life together in Texas. Pam found an excellent job becoming an Advertising Buyer for EDS. Appropriately, the next major milestone in this couples journey was the adoption of their first daughter in 1985, Brittany Nicole Harris. She was adopted at eight days old from Agape adoption agency and immediately became the apple of Pam’s eye as well as the beginning of a new chapter; parenthood.

In 1987, Pam and Quincy took a break from life in Dallas, and took a vacation of a lifetime to Greece. They would explore the islands of Mikonos, Santorini, Patmos, and Rhodes. Ironically, they were not fans of the food here in this country, but the sites and historical footage would be breathtaking and memorable. The last five days of the vacation, they boarded a Grecian crew ship called the Pegasus. The ship was docked in the second largest shipping port in the world and was directly next to The Achillie Largo, which had been hijacked by terrorist a year prior and a year post sank into the depths of the oceans.

Just a year after their return, on June 1st, Pam gave birth to her second child, Bianca Danielle Harris. These now two girls would be the only children for the couple and would be raised with unconditional love, endless possibilities and the means to fulfill their wildest dreams.

Authors note: This has been written by me, Bianca Harris, and I will be finishing my mother’s life story/biography from my up close perception and observation.

As we know, I was born in Plano, Texas to my parents, Pam and Quincy. Little did they know, I was born with a congenital heart defect and at seven months old, my mother was told by the doctors of this condition. At 11 months old, I had open heart surgery at Children’s Medical Center in Dallas and my mother explains it was one of the scariest days of her life. Living through my surgery, my mother’s life became her children, my sister and I. With her arthritis causing her more daily pain, my health problems, and her growing dislike for Dallas, Texas, my mother ceased work at EDS and stayed home fulltime with Brittany and I. In the year 1990, my family gave up their southern roots and relocated to the small town of my parents love, Lake Tahoe, Nevada. We first lived in a gorgeous condominium and then moved to a moved to a massive home with a panoramic lake view. Life was carefree and pure in Tahoe and it soon became the happiest place on Earth for my mother and the rest of us.

Three years after moving to Tahoe, my parents bought a family home; a three story cabin home atop Kingsbury Grade. Here we would create lifelong memories such as sledding in the alpines next to our home and planting a new batch of flowers every spring. The winters in Tahoe were very intense and my parents both became experts at mountain driving which I vividly remember my mother explaining to be very different from “normal” driving. There were quite a few school snow days in little Tahoe and we would spend them watching my father snowplow 8 feet of snow as we sipped hot cocoa from the living room window.

My mother was a selfless individual, always thinking of others before herself. My sister and I were given every opportunity to be happy and successful. She put our needs first and we were privileged with things such as the arts; dance classes, vocal and piano lessons. My mother supported the arts and every Christmas without fail, we attended a performance of The Nutcracker. It was her absolute favorite storyline and in the blizzards of winter, we put on our best dresses to attend the ballet. My mother had a passion for dance and as her joints started deforming her fragile body, she became more in love with watching my sister and I float about the stage as well. Dance soon became my life and my mother invested her time, money, and love into every move.

My mother created lifelong friendships in Tahoe through parent teacher conferences, neighbors, and the arts. My mother and father created a fairytale life for our family and reflecting on these moments now, I was the luckiest girl in the world.

In 1998, we gave up our mountaintop living and moved just 30 minutes away to the Jacks Valley foothills. Winter was much milder here and my father’s commute to work in Reno was more manageable. By no means would this new chapter be less amazing. We lived in a ranch style home overlooking a mountainous ranch of cattle with the backdrop of a postcard. The home was on two acres of land which mom outdoor-designed and dad executed. She chose fruit trees, a rose garden, even a pond with fish and a beautiful weeping willow. Mom had a passion for interior and exterior design and she quickly turned this home into a magazine ad. We hosted many parties at our houses; holidays, birthdays, barbeques. With a ten foot pool in the backyard, this home became a haven for my family and my mother and father woke up every morning and just stared out the window for awhile. My parents had to work their way up, against socials odds, and with each other they became a united force of success, love, and happiness.

Two years after settling here, my mother booked a two week family trip to Italy. My mother and I spent the preceding months learning the history and language. Mom was extremely worldly and adventurous and wanted to share with us the experience of travel and cultural education. We stopped in New York City prior to our departure and stayed at the world-renowned Waldorf Astoria, which actually turned out to be quite a crappy property. We laughed into the late night hours at the squeaky bathroom door, musty carpet, and narrow beds. Be that as it may, the experience was worth every moment and we would spend three days in the Big Apple. The most memorable moment of this city was my family and I climbing 354 narrow steps to reach the crown of the statue. We were so proud of my mother and the smile on her face lasted until later that evening when she popped a few ibuprofens to ease her joint pain.

Days later we found ourselves in Rome. Chilly weather at the time, we bought these beautiful wool scarves in the town square and we would wear these scarves everyday for the rest of the trip. We toured every major city in Italy, took a gondola ride in Venice, visited the Leaning tower of Pisa and stood in awe of the Coliseum. I translated for my family during this trip with my studies of the language and Brittany and I were allowed to take a sip of wine with our carbohydrate-filled meals. This vacation would be the most extensive trip we would take as a family and once we returned I felt so fortunate and years wiser.

Life continued as normal for us as a family. Dad spent most of the day in his office, mom and I running to the city with classes, rehearsals, and costume fittings and Brittany was finding her footing as a teenager.

My mother had such a kind spirit to where many peers of mine and my sisters’ became close to her, calling her mom and spending time with our family. My mother has many “children” and throughout the community she answered to “mom”. She assisted in starting a performing arts center by the name of CPAC, and co-managed my multiple dance teams and performances. My family was always front row to watch me perform.

At this time, high school for Brittany was coming to an end and in her last two years she acquired an interest, passion, and skill for cooking. She decided this was her calling and determined that after high school she would attend a culinary school. After much consideration, she decided that Le Cordon Bleu, School of the Culinary Arts in Las Vegas was a good match and the family would soon relocate for her school as well as vaster client opportunities for my dad’s telecommunications consulting firm, Networks West.

We relocated in 2003 to Las Vegas, Nevada and this would be our last move as a family. Purchasing a lovely home in a lavish lake community, I would continue high school as my sister pursued a degree in the culinary arts. Mom missed the serenity of Lake Tahoe but knew that we needed a bigger city with more opportunities now. She hated the Las Vegas summer heat and spent most days in the comfort of air conditioning. Despite a few annoyances, mom continued a humble family life here. Although we did not live in Lake Tahoe anymore, my mother considered Tahoe our home and her heart. My parents had purchased a condo on the same mountain we used to reside as a vacation home. My mother put her interior design passion to work and created a 700 square foot oasis of contemporary class. She was so proud of the condo and it was her tie and keepsake-haven for quarterly escapes to the serene lake.

I would soon follow in graduating high school and decided to attend college at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. Upon choosing my major, mom assumed I would major in dance. I disagreed and thought an academic degree would be wiser, because dance is a talent and you either have it or you don’t. We spent weeks going back and forth and mom became very emotional at the idea of us girls growing up. I held my ground in the end and at first majored in political science. Three semesters later I switched and finished my degree in Journalism. A few years through college, my mom came to me and agreed I was right about my majoring decision and told me how proud she was. Those are words I could never get used to.

Mom was me, my dads, and my sister’s biggest fan. Anytime we needed a pick-me-up we came home to and talked to mom. Honestly the dynamic is, she was the nucleus of the family. We each revolved around her love and really only became close to one another through her. My closest relationship was with my mom and the same stood for both my sister and father. She was a pool of wisdom and brilliance and we all called her a million times a day just to run something by her, tell her a funny story, or grab some quick advice.

Two days after my mom’s 49th birthday, August 11th, 2007, I had my first experience with death when my grandmother, my mother’s mom, passed away of poor health. As I was with my mom, my grandmother was very dependent on my mother’s love and this experience really changed my perception on the possibility of death and the seriousness of health. To see my mother in tears was always a painful sight and after her mother’s passing, she insisted on fighting against her odds and to keep up her bill of health.

The following year in 2008, we traveled to Tahoe to celebrate my mom’s 50th birthday. It was one of the most fun and memorable moments in that condo. I purchased a helicopter ride over the lake for my parents and grandfather and we enjoyed a lavish dinner at Edgewood Resort. My father bought my mom a diamond and ruby necklace that year and it is an unforgettable piece that will always remind me of the smile on my mother’s face. She was at peace in Tahoe. She will rest in peace in Tahoe.

In 2009, I graduated from college and had moved out of my parent’s home in 2007. I visited my parents every other day, but life was definitely different away from them and as an adult. During these years my mother’s health started to take a downturn, but being so strong and brave you would’ve never known the pain she was in. My mother developed diabetes around this time and continued deterioration of rheumatoid arthritis. She spent many of her days in a health clinic. She believed in natural medicine and spent a lot of time and money researching and trying new remedies for a pure lifestyle. She hated pharmaceuticals and refused insulin and actually controlled her blood sugar levels through diet. Her absolute favorite pastime and form of exercise was swimming and through three house moves made here in Vegas, two houses had extravagant pools. It was the one form of activity that took the pressure from her joints.

Though her efforts were brilliant, in 2010, she was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer with an eight pound mass/tumor on her ovaries. My family and I were in disbelief and somewhat frustrated that the disease was seemingly so advanced and had been festering under our noses for what could have been many years. My mother then underwent surgery to have the mass removed which was successful, although the cancer was very advanced. Therefore, chemotherapy was next in store, which she described as the most painful thing she had ever experienced. Unsuccessful, my mother’s cancer progressed within three months to stage 4 metastatic ovarian cancer. It had spread to her liver, creating three more tumors. The doctors offered more chemotherapy, but my mother declined and requested Solari Hospice Care. My mother spent the last months of her life at home with her family and on March 18th, 2011 lost her battle with the vicious disease.

My mother passed at what we see as a young age of 52, but I find solace in the fullness of life maintained in those years. Married to a wonderful man for 31 years, becoming a hero and creating a legacy of admiration, my mother will live in my heart for the rest of my life. Yes, I honestly have many selfish frustrations about wanting my mother by my side during my life, but some people were created so beautifully, that their time spent here is to grace others, if only for a short while. My family and I see the reach my mother had during her life and it is only my wish to become just a fraction of the wife, mother, and friend that she was. It is my honor to be her daughter. In my heart, she will dwell and in peace, may she rest.

“I love my mom...for reasons that are not required by social standards; but for truth, pure, and innate admiration for another human being who transcends strength, wisdom and worthy knowledge. I truly love her, as a choice...she is my most loyal companion, and my greatest blessing and accomplishment in life is being her daughter.” –Bianca Harris

Arrangements under the direction of Palm Eastern Mortuary, Las Vegas, NV.